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Sounding Jokes

At the risk of sounding like a Karen, I just wanna know why...

...do birds suddenly appear, every time, you are near.

So a chicken walks into a library and says , “bock”. Sounding like “book” the librarian hands him a book. He takes it and goes happily on his way. Then the next day...

The chicken says "bock bock", and the librarian hands him two books. Away he went. The third day, chicken says "bock bock bock", and the librarian hands him three books. And so on until the fifth day, when the chicken says "bock bock bock bock bock", the librarian hands him five books and follows hi...

I called my wife at work and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodoo doll of you and they're stabbing it?" Sounding concerned, she said, "No."

I responded, "How about now?"

You know how people were joking about 2021 sounding like “2020 won”?

Well, next year is 2020 too.

Only when that year is over will it finally be 2020 free.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Went into a cafe for lunch today and ordered the nicest sounding thing on the menu, home-cooked steak pie.

"Excuse me, love." I said to the waitress, after my first bite. "This is cold."


"Well of course it is." She replied. "I live fucking miles away."

If sounding my B’s as V’s makes me Russian

Then Soviet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sounding smart

Sometimes I just masturbate a big word into a sentence even if I don't know what it means just to sound smart.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Where do duck sounding farts come from?

Out your butt quack

My wife always wanted a son with a foreign sounding name.

So, after she
gave birth she decided on Mark but
with a C.
I just went now to register his name!
l am so excited on my way home to see
little baby Cark!

Some words sounding similar can be confusing. For example, Entropy and Atrophy.

Entropy is simply a measure of how much the energy of atoms and molecules become more spread out in a process and can be defined in terms of statistical probabilities, whereas Atrophy, is what you get if you win something.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two fat Scottish sounding women in my bar tonight...

"Hey, are you two from Scotland?" I asked.

"It's WALES you fucking idiot," one yelled.

I apologized, "Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I've just started working away from home and found I have a problem with flatulence sounding like a motorbike.

I visited the doctor and it turns out I have small growth just on the inside of my anus. "Is it serious?" I asked.

He replied "No no, just a case of abscess makes the fart go Honda".

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sure, joining the Mile High Club is great, but have you ever broken the sound barrier while sounding?

It seems tight at first, but then the cock pit widens.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Worst "joke" I've ever heard.

This is a "joke" told by one of my coworkers Jake. There was me him and 2 other coworkers sitting in the work truck.

Jake: You know how geese always fly in a V?

Me: Yeah

J: Well you know how sometimes the goose in the lead will switch and another goose will fly in the front?
...

Want to know how to keep your guitar sounding good?

Stay tuned.

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