28 consonants, 3 vowels, a question mark and 1 comma went to court

They're awaiting their sentence

Old Macdonald...

...spelled "redirection" without any consonants.

The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant.

If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a
Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest,
causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

What do you call it when you can only say vowels?

A vowel movement or in-consonants.

life with a daughter

SCENE: My teenage daughter and me in the car.

Lauren: Dad, do you know what the most commonly used letter in a girl’s name is?

Me: Hmm, is it a consonant or a vowel? (Silence.) Please tell me you know what consonants and vowels are.

Lauren: You’re no fun, Dad. Forget it.

...

I've lost all control of my vowels...

Now I'm completely in consonant.