An English lady, while vacationing in Switzerland, fell in love with a small town and the surrounding countryside.
She asked the pastor of a local church if he knew of any houses with rooms to rent that were close to town, but out in the country. The pastor kindly drove her out to see a house with a room to rent. She loved the house and decided to rent the room. Then, the lady returned to her home in England to ...
During this period of the pandemic, a group of extraordinarily thin people came together to form a band.
It was a massive success. They were the best in their fields. The violin, oh so melodious! The synth on point everytime. The acoustics, superb.
One time they were offered to perform a virtual concert. All the tickets sold out.
But when the time came for them to perform, they couldn't c...
A grad student is working with his lab partner on a science project for his robot acoustics research
When the student says to his lab partner, “There seems to be something missing from our robot that is keeping the voice audio from converting into an electrical signal”.
The lab partner, in an effort to help his friend, heads down the street to the computer shop to see if he can figure out w...
The world's leading expert on European wasps walks into a record shop.
He asks the assistant “Do you have ‘European Vespidae Acoustics Volume 2? I believe it was released this week.”
“Certainly,” replies the assistant. “Would you like to listen before you buy it?”
"That would be wonderful," says the expert, and puts on a pair of headphones.
An english schoolteacher was in Switzerland...
An English schoolteacher, was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make final preparati...
Did you know? If a singer sings on stage their voice will echo but if a pigeon coos it doesn't
A group of three successful bowlers traveled to every bowling alley in their county, talking trash at every alley and winning every game. Finally, the owner of an old ma and pa bowling alley had enough and invited them to a secret underground alley.
The old owner explained the rules to a new type of bowling.
"You place the ball at your feet, and then control the ball with your voice"
"That preposterous" said one of the bowlers.
"No, said the old owner, the acoustics in this room are so finely att...
Tony, a man of criminal reputation, goes to a confession.
Tony, a man of criminal reputation, goes to a confession and tells the priest a couple of mild sins.
"Is that all?" asks the priest, surprised.
"Yes, that's it. There are no more sins."
"And who steals apples from my garden?" asks the priest.
"Father, the acoustics in her...
An illustrious Count, Wictor Oblodowsky, agrees to conduct Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a Baltimore gym.
He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player.
After an uneventful flight and some t...
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A guy gets a job as a sacristan
and he gets along pretty well with the priest. Everything is in order, except that the Communion wine stocks don't seem to last very long.
One day, the priest calls him in and says: "Bob, you've been a very good sacristan so far. I have no reason to complain about your work, but I noticed tha...