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Ultrasound Jokes

Who’s the nicest guy the the hospital?

The ultrasound guy

Doctor to a Man after ultrasound

Dr: Tt looks like you are pregnant.

Man: WTH, But I'm a man.

Dr. I said it looks like. :)

Who do the doctors send to deliver unfortunate news to the patients family?

The ultrasound guy

Three pregnant women are chatting in a cafe.

Heather says, "I got my ultrasound done yesterday. I'm pregnant with triplets!"

"I got mine done yesterday too," says Linda. "I'm pregnant with septuplets!"

"I think I'll get my ultrasound done next week," says Martha.

The three women chat some more. Finally, Heather says, "I go...

[ultrasound]

Wife: "How does he look?"

Doctor: "This is honestly the biggest baby I've ever seen."

Husband: "So we're finally talking about the elephant in the womb."

Doctor:

Wife: "I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Damn girl, are you an ultrasound technician?

Because I'd like to know what sex we're having.

An engineer accidentally gave a medical school exam. See his answers:

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work...

Yo mamma so fat when she's pregnant she doesn't need an ultrasound

She needs a seismograph

[Request] Good Sonographer/ Ultrasound Joke

My wife, a Diagnostic Medical Sonographer, is having a really down day. I was hoping to cheer her up but sadly the best joke I can come up with is:

Q: "Why did the baby kick the Sonographer?"
A: "Because he was still waiting on his womb service."

Clearly I need help... Anyone have...

There was a young pregnant woman...

...and her dream was for her baby to grow up with perfect manners.

So everyday, she would gently rub her belly whilst repeating the line, "Be polite. Be polite."

But a strange thing happened.

After 9 months, the baby showed no signs of coming out.

After a year the woma...

A pregnant woman goes to a doctor for an ultrasound.

\-How is the baby, doctor?

\-Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that your child will always have a parking spot.

Who takes over when the Ultrasound man is on leave?

The Hip Replacement Guy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a Woman was pregnant with triplets...

A woman pregnant with triplets walked into a bank, and then a robber pulled out a gun, and started to shoot the people inside to control the crowd. the woman got hit 3 times and she was moved to the hospital really quickly after the event had been cleared.

The ultrasound check confirmed that...

Joke in real life

DISCLAIMER: THIS JOKE SUCKS BUT IT HAPPENED TO ME EARLIER TODAY

I'm currently in hospital being treated for a pulmonary embolism and the doctor ordered a echocardiogram for me.

When I was getting my heart looked at, it was the only place I've been in hospital playing music. Really coo...

Tried To Compromise

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We just didn't have anything in common. But when that happens, you have to try to compromise. I tried to compromise with her. I remember one time I was like, 'Look, if you go with me to my "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction meet up group, I'll go with you to this...

Why do doctors have good hearing?

Because they have ultrasound

Don’t argue with the logic of a sonogram technician

It’s ultrasound

What do you call a baby metal band?

Ultrasound

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A pregnant woman during a bank robery

[translated from dutch, sorry if anything is translated wrong]
A pregnant woman goes to a bank to collect the money for the ultrasound she is gonna have soon, when all of the sudden the bank gets robbed. 3 armed guys run into the bank shouting everyone to get down. The woman, being pregnant, can...

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