Ultrasound Jokes

Dr: Tt looks like you are pregnant.

Man: WTH, But I'm a man.

Dr. I said it looks like. :)

Heather says, "I got my ultrasound done yesterday. I'm pregnant with triplets!"

"I got mine done yesterday too," says Linda. "I'm pregnant with septuplets!"

"I think I'll get my ultrasound done next week," says Martha.

The three women chat some more. Finally, Heather says, "I go... read more

...and her dream was for her baby to grow up with perfect manners.

So everyday, she would gently rub her belly whilst repeating the line, "Be polite. Be polite."

But a strange thing happened.

After 9 months, the baby showed no signs of coming out.

After a year the woma... read more

"Woah?" Said the brother, What's going on here?"

"Wait calm down, Micheal and I can explain..." Stated the sister.

"No, it's all good. he and I are equal now." Said Jake.

They pause for a moment.

"I don't have a sister..." Said Micheal confused.

"It could be a boy.... read more

The ultrasound guy

She needs a seismograph

Wife: "How does he look?"

Doctor: "This is honestly the biggest baby I've ever seen."

Husband: "So we're finally talking about the elephant in the womb."

Doctor:

Wife: "I keep a divorce lawyer on retainer."

Hypochondriac: Doctor, I have no idea what’s wrong with me but I’m in pain everywhere on my body. My stomach hurts. My bones and joints hurt. I’m always nauseous. I always have a splitting headache. I’ve come to you for years and you keep telling me there’s nothing wrong but I FEEL like there is som... read more

1. Antibody - One who hates his body .

2. Artery - Study of Fine Paintings or military, not sure.

3. Bacteria - Back door of a Cafeteria .

4. Coma - Punctuation Mark .

5. Gall Bladder - Bladder of a Girl .

6. Genes - Blue Denim.

7. Labour Pain - Hurt at Work... read more

\-How is the baby, doctor?

\-Well, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that your child will always have a parking spot.

The ultrasound guy

The Hip Replacement Guy.

Because they have ultrasound

It’s ultrasound

I recently broke up with my girlfriend. We just didn't have anything in common. But when that happens, you have to try to compromise. I tried to compromise with her. I remember one time I was like, 'Look, if you go with me to my "Lord of the Rings" fan fiction meet up group, I'll go with you to this... read more

DISCLAIMER: THIS JOKE SUCKS BUT IT HAPPENED TO ME EARLIER TODAY

I'm currently in hospital being treated for a pulmonary embolism and the doctor ordered a echocardiogram for me.

When I was getting my heart looked at, it was the only place I've been in hospital playing music. Really coo... read more

Ultrasound