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A vicar books into a hotel and says to the hotel clerk "I hope the porn channel is my room is disabled?"

She says "No sir, it's just regular porn. You sick bastard."

How do you support a werewolves YouTube channel?

You lycan subscribe.

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If American coffee lovers ever made a porn channel what would they name it?

No- Tea America

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An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special.

It was about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the Black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the Penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getti...

There was this little girl sitting on the English side of the English Channel, bawling her eyes out. This pigeon was flying over and spotted her, so the pigeon flew down and asked what was wrong.

The little girl told the pigeon that she wanted to be a ballet dancer more than anything, but the only way she could be a ballet dancer was to get to France, being really the only place that teaches ballet.
After thinking for a moment, the pigeon told the little girl to wait and he would return.<...

What’s a squirrel’s favorite channel?

Nutflix.

From my six year old who read it at the doctor office today.

A teacher asks her student where the English Channel is located.

“I’m not sure,” the student answers, “we switched cable companies last month.”

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A man tells his wife "you've been watching the food channel for years and you're still one of the worst cooks I know..."

"Honey," she replies, "for how many years you've been watching porn?"

2 cats were racing across the English channel

An english cat named onetwothree, and a french cat name undeuxtrois.

Which cat won?

123 cat won because undeuxtroix quatre cinq

What do you call a long, curved potato with a monetized video channel?

A professional U-tuber.

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Hey, I'm not saying Hitler was a great guy.

But he really saved the History channel.

There's a beautiful irony in the fact the history channel is showing less and less history...As if the history

Is in the past.

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I just found an origami porn channel.

But it is paper view only.

If you think the history channel is bad at midnight.

You should see the staff room.

You know what the scientists always say to build up resistance to distractions and channel nature

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmm

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My wife walked in on me while I was watching porn

In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the fishing channel.
As my wife walks out again she says: "you should stay on the porn channel.. you know how to fish."

r/jokes now has a discord channel!

Great!! Now I can see reposted jokes in real-time.

A German, an Italian, a Frenchman and an Englishman are having a philosophical debate.

The question arises: What separates man from the animals?


"Technology," says the German. "Other creatures have tools, yet none can match the hights of engineering we have accomplished. It is our industry that separates us from the beasts."


"I disagree," announces the Italian. "...

What do you get when you mix JonTron and a youtube channel together?

A disappearance for 8 months

What happened to Satan’s YouTube channel?

It got demon-itized

Apparently North Korea only has 3 tv channels...

Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Deux and Kim Jong Trois

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An elderly couple were at home watching TV. Phil had the remote and was switching back and forth between a fishing channel and the porn channel.

Sally became more and more annoyed and finally said "For God's sake, Phil... leave it on the porn channel... you know how to fish!"

What sports channel does Lando Calrissian watch?

BESPN

A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.

Sergeant: What is her height?

Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.

Sergeant: Weight?

Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.

Sergeant: Color of eyes?

...

I went to make a joke on the Para-Olympic's YouTube channel

but the comments were disabled.

I've been trying to get a job on The Weather Channel forever...

But turnover is low due to their low pressure system

I want to make a sad YouTube channel where I compress soda cans

I'll name it "Soda Pressing"

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Three sailors are discussing their cargo

They are used to transporting goods and make a good living doing so, this time however they've been tasked with taking 300 boxes of penis shaped potatoes across the channel and they all think it's a joke.

"We'll be a laughing stock" says the first sailor.

"I'll never be able to live ...

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The man who loved fishing

A husband is fanatical about fishing.

Twice a month on the weekend, he heads out for the lake early and spends most of the day.

He does this come rain or shine.

One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and...

I’m starting a YouTube channel about my fixation with lizards and snakes. What am I going to call it?

A Reptile Dysfunction

I woke up and watched the Religion channel for a change...

And there was a man shouting at me on the tv. "YOU MAY NOT HAVE KNOWN THIS, BUT YOU HAVE ALREADY SINNED TODAY!". "But I just woke up, I'm still in bed", I thought. I rolled over and asked my sister if I had sinned today.

What would you call a North Korean news channel?

The Medium.

Ted decided to go start a youtube channel

This youtube channel was solely for making diss tracks about famous youtubers. Unfortunately, his first one was not successful, it was incredibly bad, and so he got thousands of dislikes. Undiscouraged, Ted made a few more diss tracks and uploaded them, only to get hate messages and death threats so...

A Blonde wife walks in to her living room and finds her blonde husband desperately looking for something.

He's moving furniture, checking in vents, simply looking in every nook and cranny of the living room. Perplexed the wife asks him what he is searching for.
"Hidden Cameras," the husband replies.
"Why!?" The wife asks totally boggled.
"Because the man on the tv knows what I'm doing. Every...

Have you guys heard about my new Youtube Channel where I teach how to make explosives ?

It's called Do It Youssef

A Dutchman, a Frenchman and a Belgian are at the channel...

The Frenchman says: "You see that there? That's the channel. The first person to swim across to Britain gets a crate of beer."
The Dutchman and the Belgian agree, and decide to use small radios to keep communication going.
They all set up on the coast, and start the race.

The Dutchman ...

Whats my knee's favourite channel?

Dis-knee channel.

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What TV station is the biggest dick of a channel?

The BBC

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A man and his family are on a road trip...

They pull into a seedy looking motel for the night. When they go to check in, he sends his family to the room and leans over the counter and says to the attendant:
"Sir, I hope all your porn channels are disabled."

The man behind the counter looks at him disgustedly and says:

"No, t...

In Soviet Russia there are only two Tv channels.

Channel one is propaganda. Channel two is KGB agent telling you to go back to channel one.

FOX new has saved my legs!

I got into a terridle car crash and and lost the use of my legs. When I was in the hospital, FOX news came on the TV. I got up to change the channel.

What is Donald trumps favorite ESPN Channel?

ESPN Deportes

I can never find a good channel where people boil eggs

They're always scrambled

when i was growing up. our tv had a bunch of channels

My favorite channel was "Broil"

Why Do News Channels love April Fools Day?

Because it's socially acceptable to do what they already do every day of the year.

Local sausage restaurant starts a YouTube channel...

Links in the description.

A ship carrying blue paint has collided with a ship carrying red paint in the English Channel.

32 sailors have been marooned

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, who can swim the English Channel?

Clever Dick.

I was watching the Dyslexic news channel earlier.

Apparently North Korea are making unclear threats to the US.

What's the most popular sports channel in Mexico?

ESPÑOL

New Series For The The History Channel

The History Channel is planning a new series, “Airline Tragedies.”

They are putting the pilot together as I write this.

Weather Channel

I taped a Weather Channel logo on our living room window. It’s like having an extra TV.

I was flipping through the channels....

and my wife asked was on the TV.
I said "dust"
And that's how the fight started.

What's your YouTuber crush?

Mines the Hydraulic *Press* Channel

(credit: jacksfilms)

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Adhering to my strict religious beliefs, I asked the girl at the front desk if the porn channel in my room could be disabled.

She gave me a real dirty look and exclaimed: "We only have regular porn, you SICK FUCK!"

My uncle spoke of his time in Soviet Russia back in the day

He said there were only 2 channels on TV. He said Channel 1 was propaganda, and channel 2 was a KGB pointing a Kalashnikov at the screen saying "Turn back to channel 1!"

This new fish cooking channel sounds kinda dirty.

Especially, the Filet Show.

Investigating Hillary Clinton is like fishing on Discovery Channel

... you catch them, you show them, and you let them go.

A blonde was attempting to swim across the English channel.

But she got tired halfway, and swam back.

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An old half deaf husband is watching TV with the wife.They are watching the DYI network on home repair.

Every time the wife gets up he flips it to the porn channel not realizing she can hear and flips it back as she comes back to the room. This goes on for a few cycles till she comes back from the kitchen and yells at him, Oh for gods sake bob just leave it on the porn...you already know how to hang a...

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A woman is watching the food channel...

Her husband says: why are you watching this? You can't even cook!
She replies: you watch porn all day long and I dont even say anything!

A young businessman had just started his own firm.

He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally...

One day, a man decides to make a town.

He walked far and wide, across treacherous land and dangerous grounds, until he found a flat dessert, with rocks pock marking the ground. He decides to settle his town here, and built his first house with some trouble, due to the rocks. He chose to cover the ground with a layer of concrete so it wou...

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A priest checks into a hotel and asks the girl on reception "I hope porn channel is disabled"....

The girl replies with "No. It's just the normal stuff you sick fuck".

April fools day on a news channel

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one - and let the other one off.

Did you know, If you get everyone in the UK to lie head to toe in a line across the English channel...

...They would probably drown

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Pick a channel!

Guy is sitting on the couch and has been flipping the TV between golf and porn while his wife has also been sitting on the couch reading a book. After awhile she gets annoyed and snatches the remote from his hand, puts it on porn, puts the remote on the coffee table and tells him "leave it alone, yo...

Did you know the host of the Discovery Channel's show Dirty Jobs has 2 degrees?

In Mike Rowe Economics and Mike Rowe Biology.

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I was watching FOX Sports, but decided to switch to the History Channel...

You still get to see the US destroy Japan, but there are fewer commercials!

The origami championships will be televised and the viewer can purchase events to view.

It is on a paper view channel.

An engineer dies and is sent to hell

He's hot and miserable, so he decides to take action. The A/C has been busted for a long time, so he fixes it. Things cool down quickly. The moving walkway motor jammed, so he un-jams it. People can get from place to place more easily. The TV was grainy and unclear, so he fixes the connection to the...

"Jeffrey Epstein was on a Suicide Watch. He committed suicide, they watched."

From youtube, a Jimmy Dore channel commentator.

OC science joke

There was a young man who was fed up with all the bias in news networks everywhere and vowed to make his own set of news channels that would be void of any and all bias. As he was not a wealthy man he had to find ways cut costs in making his network. He managed to make an odd deal with all his suppl...

A man rushes home late from work, slams the door open and plops himself down on the sofa. He turns on the tv and looks at his wife “quick” he says “get me a beer and some food before it starts!”

The wife gets up slowly looking startled but slightly excited. She wanders into the kitchen and comes back quickly with a beer and some food for her husband.

The man gulps down the beer and looks back to his wife “quick!” He says “get me another beer before it starts!” The man goes back to fl...

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A week at the gym

Dear Diary

For my fortieth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me.

Although I am still in great shape since playing football 24 yrs ago, I decided it would be a good idea to go ahead and give it a try.

Called ...

Forever mortal frenemies

Britain and France. Forever mortal frenemies. The rivalry goes back over 1000 years. One of the biggest sticking point has always been the channel. Is it the British channel or the French? In order to show how one country was superior in the rivalry every 100 years the 2 countries would hold a cross...

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A man on vacation with his family arrives at a hotel.

As he’s checking in, he says to the clerk, “I’m on vacation with my family, please make sure the porn channel is disabled.”

The clerk replies in disgust, “It’s just regular porn, you sick fuck.”

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