Which 80's song chorus can help you try to escape Jigsaw?

Everybody cut foot loose!

What's the difference between a 3-ring circus and a Las Vegas chorus line?

One is an array of cunning stunts...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So we're putting on a performance of "The Pirates of Penzance" and the guys who's playing Samuel comes up to me and says "Mr Director"...

...and I say "Yes?"

and he says "This final scene where the Major-General sings 'Resume your ranks and legislative duties, And take my daughters, all of whom are beauties'. Which daughter do I get?"

"Not Mabel, obviously. She's with Frederic," I say. "And usually the Major-General hims...

Not only is Pop music disgusting by the chorus,

but also per verse.

What do you call a crazy song chorus about Chinese food?

An Insane lo main refrain

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The municipal philharmonic symphony and chorus were rehearsing....

The municipal philharmonic symphony and
chorus were rehearsing Symphony No. 9 by Ludwig Von Beethoven. Since
the chorus doesn't enter until the final movement, the singers were
becoming very bored - especially the men in the back row. Then the
basses had a clever idea. During break, th...

A town has banned music, and a monastery has popped up dedicated to worship in chorus.

The town's police were at the gates of the monastery every night, however the brother of the town's mayor was part of the monks, and used his connection to his brother to stop the police from interrupting their choral ceremonies.

After a year long stalemate, a man named Hugh came to the town,...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy is walking along a stretch of tall fences, minding his own business...

...when he notices chanting coming from the other side of the fence. He makes his way closer to make out what it is he's hearing.

"18...18...18....18..." is what he hears from a chorus of voices on the other side.

He looks along the fence until he finds a hole to peer through and see w...

What does a chorus made of corn do?

Sing in hominy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Covid Christmas carol

(Didnt know where else to post, remove if not allowed, got bored at home and this is result...)

[Chorus]
You better watchout,
You better stay inside,
You better go bulk buy,
And Im telling you why,
Cronavirus is coming to town

A mutating virus,
Its infecting twice,...

Once there was a girl named Darling...

... had a particularly rough childhood because of her uncommon name. She always got a lot of teasing and abuse at school and hated her parents for the pain they inflicted on her. By the time she graduated school, however, she overcame her anger and embraced her unusual name finding it brought her so...

Bean Disaster

During lunch at work, I ate 3 plates of beans (which I know I shouldn't). When I got home, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed delightedly, "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as he wa...

Three nuns were fatally injured in a horrific auto accident on Halloween night.

Being the holy women that they were, the three of them ascended into heaven.

The nuns were stopped at the gates of St Peter.

St Peter said to the nuns “Behold! The gates of your eternal kingdom & glory. Being Halloween night, I must ask each of you a biblical question which will pr...

Guy dies in a plane crash...

...and when he gets to the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter looks his name up in the book.

"Ah, yes, here you are," Saint Peter says. "Says here you are Lutheran. Follow me."

Saint Peter leads the guy into Heaven and into a long, white corridor. Along the corridor are heavy wooden doors, all ...

Hillary, Donald Trump, and Barack Obama were waiting in the green room before a banquet with the movers and shakers of DC...

Suddenly a heavenly chorus of angels sang, and God appeared to the trio.

In a booming voice God said, “Each of you may ask one question, and I will answer it.”

Obama asked, “Will there ever be another black president?”

God replied, “Yes. But not during your lifetime.”

Tru...

Three men are sentenced to die in Great Britain.

The night before the men got drunk and destroyed the Queen's garden. Knowing her garden is full of pollen, she offers them a chance at life under one condition.

The men must learn self control by sitting in the garden and not sneezing, not even once. If one of them succeeds in the time allot...

A man is spending his first night in prison...

He's laying in his bunk when the lights go out. After a few minutes, he hears someone shout, "13!" followed by a chorus of laughter.
Another few minutes go by and he hears, "27!" followed by more laughter.
"What's going on?" he asks his cell mate.
"Well, we've heard the same jokes so many t...

A symphony is preparing for a concert.

The crowds eagerly await this outdoor performance of the Hallelujah Chorus. However, it's the middle of June, and the heat is terrible. All the flutes, trumpets, and tubas are out of tune. The choir is miserable and sweaty.

Ultimately, they're forced to cancel the performance. It was simply t...

A man is sitting on an airplane...

and one of the flight attendants takes his drink order and comes back promptly with a coke and some peanuts. As he's sitting there sipping his drink and looking out the window, he hears a chorus of tiny voices: "*hey man, nice tie!*"

Puzzled, he looks around a bit, fails to locate the source ...

Only in America

A European Count who had a fascination with the American West, arranged for a trip to a Texas town named Outlaw. Outlaw was small but didn't know it and the town fathers were determined to impress the Count with their worldliness. They arranged to have the local orchestra perform Beethoven's Ninth...

Bill Gates suddenly dies...

...and finds himself face to face with God.
God stood over Bill Gates and said, "Well Bill, I'm really confused
on this one. It's a tough decision; I'm not sure whether to send
you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously
by putting a computer in almost every home in A...

The Toaster leads the Kitchen Appliances on Strike. [LONG]

I looked around the kitchen in exasperation.

"We have will be heard! We have a voice! We have rights!"

"Umm, no you don't." I said to the speaker, "you're literally a wok."

"Well that may be, but we will not be abused any longer!"

A chorus of "Yeah," "You tell 'im!" and "...

God decided to visit Earth...

...so He traveled from Heaven to the big city. He walked down the street until he came upon a beggar sitting against a wall, crying.

"What ails you, my son?" asked God.

"I've been overtaken with a crippling disease and I can no longer walk" replied the man.

However, God took pit...

Paddy is a poor Irish farmer...

He spends all day from dawn till dusk working his little farm to provide for his sick wife and 12 daughters.

Every night he kneels by the side of his bed and prays. 'Dear Lord, I'm a good catholic just trying to do right, please oh Lord could I win the lottery?'

For years and years Pad...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and asks the barman for a drink that tastes like rum and coke. The barman turns around and hands him an apple. "What the fuck is this?" the man asks, to which the barman replies "Just try it". The man takes a bite, saying, "Oh my, that tastes like rum". The barman t...

THIRTEEN!

A guy is walking past the grounds of the state mental hospital. The hospital is surrounded by a tall wooden fence, more for privacy than for security. As he walks past he hears a chorus of excited inmates chanting: "THIRTEEN! THIRTEEN! THIRTEEN!".



Curious about what is going on insi...

Kayne West was originally going to sing John Legend's recent hit song

But they gave it to John Legend after Kayne changed the chorus to: "Cause all of me, loves all of me. Love my curves and all my edges. All my perfect perfections"

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.