Sick Of Jokes - 91 Hilarious Sick Of Jokes

I am getting so sick of millennials and their attitude.

Always walkin around like they rent the place.

I'm American, and I'm sick of hearing that America is the stupidest country in the world.

Personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world...

My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it.

I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.

There's this old priest who got sick of all the people in his parish who kept confessing to adultery.

One Sunday, in the pulpit, he said, "If I hear that word one more time, I'll quit!"

Everyone liked him, so they came up with a code word. Someone who had committed adultery would say they had "fallen." This seemed to satisfy the old priest and things went well, until the priest died at ...

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So sick of double standards these days.

When a dog licks his balls in public, nobody says anything. But when I do it, people yell "what are you doing to your dog, you sick fuck?"

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Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible.

He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there. “Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Hav...

My girlfriend said she was sick of me pretending to be a detective...

...and that "we should split up"

"Good idea", I said, "that way we can cover more ground"

My girlfriend is sick of me pretending that I'm a transformer.

Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a transformer. I'm leaving you."

Me: "No baby wait, I can change..."

Three women are sick of their boss always leaving work early on a Tuesday One Tuesday, they all agree to wait 20 minutes after the boss has left, then sneak out themselves - their boss would never know.

The brunette left and decided to go shopping.

The redhead decided to hit the gym before meeting some friends for drinks.

The blonde decided to go home and surprise her husband, but when she arrive home she heard noises in the bedroom. She slowly walked up, peaked through the door, and ...

A Young Vulture is sick of eating dead things and wants to be a vegetarian...

So he asks his parents whether they can start incorporating some vegetables into their meals.

His father is ashamed of him and says 'No'.

So the young vulture asks if he could bring a carrot to dinner and his mother and father tell him that he is a disgrace to the family and to put the...

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A woman had five dogs. Her husband was sick of all the dogs.

He went away on a business trip, but before he left he put his foot down. No more dogs!

But the woman couldn't control herself when she saw a dog she just had to have.

"Well," she thought, "I'll just call him up and pretend I'm confessing to some infidelity or something. He'll be so re...

I’m sick of my wife blowing everything out of proportion.

She’s single handedly ruining my balloon animal business.

I'm sick of all these bri'ish jokes...

I'm British and i love T.

I'm really getting sick of turning up early to concerts

They always promise The Doors will be opening for every band, but they never show up.

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I was sick of my wife always making fun of my crappy sense of directions...

... so I packed my things and right!

I'm so sick of all these REPOSTS

For 25 years I have been working day and night to find the originator of the first joke. I think I may have found it in the original Hebrew Bible.

Adam spoketh to Eve and said, "Now see the mess thou has got us into. I should never have listened to you."

Eve replied, "How the hell was ...

Wife: Okay. Here’s what’s got to change. I’m sick of you saying I talk like a pirate and you never buy me flowers!

Husband: I never knew you sold flowers!

I’m sick of those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be “saved” or you’ll “burn.”

Stupid firefighters.

My wife told me she is so sick of my mansplaining, and if I don't stop she's going to throw me in a deep hole with water in it.

I know she means well.

I'm getting sick of all these reboots of old classics

Cold War (2022) is not as good as the original.

A woman was sick of her husband always farting in bed...

she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out. Then one C...

I'm getting really sick of these Amber Alerts...

They either wake you up at three in the morning or broadcast your license plate to the whole world.

I am sick of this Chinese-made virus destroying society!

Tik-Tok has got to go!

I'm sick of these double standards

When Venus poses naked on a seashell she is "beautiful" and "a goddess", but when I do it I'm "drunk" and "banned from the Sea Life Centre".

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"In sick of sewing buttons!"

\-Incredible Hulk's mom

(Got this from the jokes section of an Argentine popular culture magazine, so yeah, us ARgentines have a terrible humor xD)

I’m sick of martial arts.

I have kung flu.

(Brought to you by my 8 year old)

An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.

“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.

Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like...

What do pirates do when they get sick of your physics questions?

They make you walk the Planck.

I'm sick of the double standard…

When I burn a dead bodies at the mortuary, I'm doing a good job. When I burn dead bodies at home, I'm destroying evidence.

I'm sick of this sub

I should have gone with the soup.

I’m so sick of hearing friction jokes...

If I hear one more, I won’t let it slide

Her: I want to break up. For starters, I’m sick of your terrible jokes.

Him: Ok. And for the main course?

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I am sick of trying to figure out people who practice celibacy

I guess when all's said and done, they don't give a fuck.

I'm so sick of gravity.

It always brings me down

I'm getting sick of eye jokes.

They just get cornea and cornea.

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I really thought Activision understood that we're sick of modern-day shooters.

And yet in the new Call of Duty they're giving us Nazis to shoot again.

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I am sick of being handsome.

It hurts my hands, that’s why I want to try threesome or foursome.

Mario was sick of jumping around all day

He felt like he should be more politically involved. A few weeks ago, his friend Toad helped him set up a TV (mostly for watching trashy reality shows), but Mario became obsessed with US news networks. CNN, Fox News, MSNBC, you name it. He had heard before of American democracy, and found it prefera...

Everyone says they are sick of my Linkin Park references...

But in the end, it doesn't even matter.

My girlfriend told me she is sick of me quoting movies all the time

I said quite frankly my dear I don't give a damn

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I'm sick of people telling me what I can and can't eat.

So fuck you , silica packets.

"I'm getting sick of eating airline food all the time."

Said the Malaysian shark.

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I'm sick of being surrounded by assholes everyday

I should stop practicing proctology.

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Sick of all the comments I get when I wear my daisy dukes..

“Why are your legs so hairy” and “Sir, your penis is hanging out”

My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink

No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre

After getting sick of my dad jokes, my wife locked me out of the house

I texted her, " oh pun the door! "

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[Couples Therapy] Her: I am sick of him being literal all the time!

Therapist: I see. And how do you feel?

Him: With my hands.

I'm so sick of my friends not being able to handle their alcohol

Last night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me home

I'm so sick of people making fun of the United States

Don't they know we're the third best country in North America?

I'm so sick of film spoilers.

If anyone tells me what happens in the new Ted Bundy film I'm going to kill them.

I went to the doctor and said my family are all sick of me playing the guitar

He said, if you keep picking it they won't ever get well.

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I'm sick of the violent society today.

Picture this: I'm there minding my own business when this scruffy kid comes up and says "Hey mister, you want decking or something?". Cheeky twat, I smacked him one straight away but I shouldn't have to, know what I mean?

Also apparently I'm now "banned from the garden centre" or some such bu...

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A man gets sick of it all and joins a monastery

He travels to Nepal, hikes high into the mountains and finds a monastery. The head monk informs him that they would accept him if he dresses the part, does his work, and learns the ways of peace and meditation. The man agrees. The head monk tells him, "one last thing, you must take a vow of silen...

I'm getting so sick of these double standards...

Burn a body at a mortuary and 'you're doing your job', do it at home and you're "Destroying evidence"

P.s wasn't sure to post this to /r/jokes or /r/funny

Really sick of seeing so much infighting in the short community

We should really be lifting each other up

Im sick of all these immigration jokes

They're really crossing the line

I'm so sick of hearing necrophelia jokes

They've all been done to death.

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I'm sick of the incorrect assumption that us rednecks are always fucking our sisters

Mine hasn't put out in 6 months

My Wife told me she was sick of my OCD

I soon put her in her place.

My girlfriend says she’s sick of me treating her like a child...

So I gave her a sticker for standing up for herself.

The wife told me she's sick of me pushing her around and talking behind her back.

I said "Well you are in a wheelchair"

I'm sick of all these passive-aggressive posts.

You know who you are.

Are you sick of lawyers trying to sell you stuff on tv?

You might be entitled to compensation.

I’m getting sick of all these stupid Republican jokes.

All 195 of them.

I got sick of being an assasin; so I hired myself to off me.

Now my work is literally killing me.

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I'm sick of these goddamn racists and their glowing swastika tattoos.

Damned Neon-Nazis.

I am sick of people claiming that white people can't dance

Have they never heard of Michael Jackson?

I'm sick of people freaking out about this bad lettuce

If everyone can romaine calm that would be greatly appreciated

My wife told me she's sick of using the broom all day

I told her she should take the car

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Im getting sick of destroy dick december..

Still waiting for jerk-off january and fap febuary

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Sometime I get so sick of my large intestine.

It always gives me shit.

I got sick of that annoying noise in my car

So I opened the door and pushed her out

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My friend who was sick of my jokes says

"How about you stop sitting on your ass all day coming up with terrible puns, and start writing a book or something!"

Me: "Now that.... is a novel idea!!!!"

I'm sick of my wife treating me like a piece of meat

She's a vegetarian.

A guy with one arm is sick of life.....

A guy with one arm is sick of life, he tries to get a job but no one hires him. He can't get himself a girl friend. Everyone he knows picks on him and laughs at him. He feels really down. Eventually he decides enough is enough and decides to take his own life.

He goes to the roof of the tall...

You know what? I'm sick of following my dreams!

I'm just going to ask where they're going, and catch up with them later.

--RIP Mitch Hedberg

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Simon the prawn is sick of being chased by the other creatures in the lagoon.

He prays to god to make him into a fierce shark and turn the tables on his enemies.

The next day simon has been turned into a Great white shark and has great fun chasing all his enemies round, but soon starts to enjoy bullying all the other creatures too.

After a few days the no...

My wife said she was sick of me singing Backstreet Boys.

I said, "Tell me why..."

I am getting real sick of these Anti-Vaxx memes

But that's because I wasn't Vaccinated.

I'm sick of all of the Irish stereotypes...

As soon as I finish this drink I'm punching someone

An Englishman, Scotsman and Irishman are working on a building site...

High above the city, they sit together, eating their lunch as they do every lunchtime.
The Englishman, Arthur, opens his lunchbox and picks out his sandwiches.

"I say! roast beef sandwiches. I'm sick of roast beef sandwiches! If I've got roast beef sandwiches tomorrow, I shall throw myse...

Getting real sick of all the Dragon Ball Z references...

Just Saiyan...

Her: I’m leaving. I’m sick of your constant mansplaining. I’m surprised you didn’t see the writing on the wall.

Me: It’s called graffiti, Karen.

I’m sick of my wife complaining about me sitting around all day.

I’m not going to stand for it.

I'm sick of my mate Adam.

He walks round like he's gods gift to women.

My grandpa warned people the Titanic would sink and no one listened.

He kept warning them until they got sick of it and kicked him out of the theater.

*Thanks for my first gold kind stranger! But please consider donating to your local food bank or another worthy cause instead of rewarding this stupid joke that was (according to sources) reposted.

Two Canadians die and end up in Hell. Satan decides to pay them a visit, so he walks into their room and sees them talking and laughing. Confused, he asks them why they're happy.

They tell him, "Well, we're so sick of the cold where we're from, and this place is nice and toasty."

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell's boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians' room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to...

I'm getting really sick of all the Holocaust jokes...

My great grandfather died at Auschwitz, so I find these jokes really offensive. Granted, he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck, but I think that still counts.

I'm sick of these people milking the EA conflict for karma!

I hope it at least gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment.

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I'm sick of everyone telling me that Jesus saves.

Why the fuck should I care what some Mexican dude does with his money?

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John was a very fat guy who was sick of being ridiculed all the time.

So he decided to do something to reduce his weight. Next morning he found an advertisement in the newspaper claiming to help him lose weight quickly. Intrigued, he called them and asked for the plans available.
The operator told him that there are three plans
"10 pounds in a week"
"20 po...

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