Disgusted Jokes - 27 Hilarious Disgusted Jokes

I am disgusted by people who poach rare animals.

They are much better grilled.

A teenager brings her new boyfriend home to meet her parents.

They're disgusted by his haircut, tattoos, and piercings. Later, when he leaves, the girl's mom says, "Dear, he doesn't seem to be a very nice boy."

"Oh, please, mom!" says the daughter. "If he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"

I just saw two hotdogs and a burger stumble out of a club, blind drunk and blazed on coke and weed. I was disgusted...

I hate to see food wasted like that. Frugal upbringing.

Today, I learned that some people are disgusted that others pee in the shower

I don’t think it was necessary to cancel my gym membership over it though.

I’m absolutely disgusted with the state my life is in right now

Florida. I live in Florida.

My sister walked up to me this morning and with disgusted look on her face said to me: ‘You’re on drugs again!!!’ She could be right..

I’m an only child.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I guy goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce sticking out of his .

The doctor, obviously disgusted, takes a look and says "ugh, that's nasty".
To which the man responds, " Nasty? Doc, that's just the tip of the iceberg"

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Carl is in the 10th year of a life sentence when he gets a new cellmate, Jim.

...after taking some time to size Jim up and decide that he can trust him, Carl tells Jim about his plan to escape.

"You see, " Carl says "for the first 5 years I was inside, I trained my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into it's com...

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So I was at the bar the other day...

...and suddenly, I feel a large slap on my .

Turning around, I spot the ugliest woman imaginable; she was large, heavily tattooed, and caked with metric tonnes of makeup.

She said to me, "Hey there, guy. I saw you over there and thought you should call me."

I looked her over ...

Apple just came out with its latest product that disgusted everyone.

The I-cup.

Farts are like children

I'm proud of mine but disgusted by yours

Why was the king so disgusted by the peasants?

They were revolting.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I am disgusted by the youth of today.

They taste like .

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man went to the store to buy some raisins...

When he got there, he asked a cashier, "What aisle are the..."

"...raisins in?" she asked.

"How... how did you know?"

"I am a psychic. I can read minds."

"Really? Well then, what am I..."

"Thinking now? You're thinking about what I might look like naked."

"Y...

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A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey, orders a drink and while he’s drinking it, the monkey jumps around all over, grabs some olives off the bar, eats them, grabs some sliced limes, eats them, jumps up on the pool table, grabs a cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”

The guy says, “No, what?”

“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table, whole!” says the bartender.

“Yeah, that doesn’t surprise me.” replied the patron. “He eats everything in sight. I’ll pay for the cue ...

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I was disgusted when my gf showed me her .

But then it grew on me.

why are people so disgusted when someone farts around them?

I mean, come on, a little gas never killed anyone

Everyone at the restaurant we were dining at were disgusted when they found out I was 45 and my wife was 20...

It completely ruined our ten year anniversary.

I am disgusted with people calling Trump a white supremacist,

He is clearly orange.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them,

"In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." As an ex...

People always get disgusted when I say I slept with my teacher...

I think it's because I was home schooled.

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My son's teacher phoned today, "I've just caught your son having with Lucy Jones, I'm totally disgusted."

"So am I," I replied, "Isn't she the fat ginger one?"

Blonde boards a airplane

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn’t have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, “I’m blonde, I’m smart, I have a good job, and I’m staying in first class unti...

Two Hungry Soldiers (Disgusting)

After a long, big battle , there are two enemy soldiers left on the battlefield. They decide to make peace and look for food because they are very, VERY hungry. They look food for 2 hours but cannot find something.

Soldier 1 says " I can't take this anymore!" and walks to a nearby dead soldie...

A very beautiful women was depressed and wanted to kill herself

She goes to the overpass of a local highway to jump down 100 feet into a ravine. Before she could climb up the barrier, a disgusting and repulsive homeless man comes up and asks, "Hey what are you doing?!" The beautiful woman replied, "I am going to kill myself. This life isn't worth living anymore....

My girlfriend said she's disgusted that I pick my nose so much.

I just blew it, didn't I?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This election has been a bit like watching ...

The hype was fun but now it's over I'm disgusted by what I'm watching.

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