UPJOKE
depicthighlightemphasizeexemplifyinstanceshowreflectdescribeexamplesexplainsuggestrelatedescriptionexploresexamines

Illustrate Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Teacher decides to illustrate how damaging cigarettes and alcohol are

by doing a demonstration in class. First he puts a live worm in alcohol and worm, after squirming a lot, dies as expected. Then he places another live worm into a jar, blows some cigarette smoke inside before closing it. As expected, worm dies after a few minutes. With demonstration finished, he ask...

Did you hear about the new sports illustrated swimsuit edition coming out?

It’s gonna be nuts.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Rather Distasteful Joke

New students at Medical School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.
The professor began the lecture by telling them: "In medicine, it is necessary to possess two important quali...

An eccentric professor brings a cloning machine into class to illustrate a difficult concept...

One student, gesturing to the demonstration, decides to reach out to his overachieving friend.
"I just don't understand what that thing does."
His friend, clearly bothered by the situation, snaps back, "that makes two of us!"

An old lady goes to the doctor.

She mentions that no matter what, when she farts, they are always silent and don't smell.

To illustrate her point she lets one go.

Old lady: see doctor it was silent and I don't smell anything.

Doctor: I see, I am going to give you a prescription, then I want you to come back i...

Dog training conference

At a dog training conference, a trainer boasts that he can train a dog to do anything. To illustrate this, he brings onto the stage a German Shepherd and claims that he's taught it Morse code.

One of the audience shouts out "Prove it!".

He gives the dog a nod, and it walks over to ...

Dances used to originate from tribal customs

Well, doesn't it seem possible that some of these popular dances tend to illustrate the movements of persons dodging a flock of motor cars?



Source: 1913 newspaper

Trial

A man charged with assault and battery insisted at his trial that he had just pushed his victim "a little bit". When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels and flung him over the t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A list of books I've read this year

● Taming Wild Cats by Claude Face.


● Making Weatherproof Clothes by Ranier Day.


● All Aboard! by Abel Seamann.


● One Hundred Metres to the Bus Stop, by Willy Makit, illustrated by Betty Wont.


● The Greatest Detective Stories Ever Told by Watts E. Dunn.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a Muslim bookstore...

He asks the Muslim store owner, "Do you have that book, the one that explains Trump's Muslim Ban and illustrates points concerning his immigration policy?" The Muslim owner responds, "Get the fuck out of here you pig! Get the fuck out and stay out! And if you ever try to come back I'll personall...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

New book: "40 Yard Dash to the Bathroom"

Written by Willy Makeit
Illustrated by Betty Wont

What's the difference...?

What's the difference between a modern sports illustrated swimsuit issue and a bakery?



>!My mouth actually waters at the rolls in the bakery!<

A Student is in Engineering Class, when the Teacher asks What is a Machine?

Student 1: A machine is anything that reduces human effort

Teacher: Will you please elaborate?

Student 1: Anything that simplifies work, or saves time, is a machine

Teacher: What is the true definition?

Student 2: Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected t...

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut

After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him a...

have you read the book "A long way from the bathroom"

By Willie Maykit

Co-authored by Betty Wont

Illustrated by Andy Didnt

Have you read the book Fifty Yards to the Outhouse by...

Willie Makit,published by Betty Don't,and illustrated by Doris Lock?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A university professor was giving a lecture to a group of men on the link between sex and happiness.

To illustrate an example, he asked the men who have sex daily to stand up. A number of men stood up, smiling and high fiving each other.

Then he asked the men who have sex once a week to stand up. Again, a group of them stood up, but only with a faint smile on their faces.

Taking it fu...

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger...

The swindler was headed upstairs to visit his friend, the forger. The bird he passed along the way was the forger's homing vulture, which was en route to the forger's publisher to make a delivery. Unfortunately, the poor bird had to fly down the stairwell to ground level and out the open terrace sin...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.