The Devils goes to Church

The devil went to church one day and upon seeing his red skin, big horns and cloven feet, all of the people ran from the building in terror. All except for one old man near the front. He didn't even budge. The devil was intrigued by the man's apparent disinterest in his hideous appearance. So he str...

A girl added me and sent me a picture of herself

She looked so much like someone who would judge me based of my appearance so i blocked her.
Cut toxic people out of your life because you deserve better (:

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Charles the Banana

Charles was a banana at the local Safeway, where he sat on the shelf with all the other bananas. Charles waited every day to be picked when, finally, a man picks up Charles in his bunch and buys him.

When Charles got home, the man put Charles on the counter. "Oh boy," he thought, "I'll final...

A leper goes into a diner...

This one time a Leper goes into a diner and settles in a seat at the counter, orders his food and coffee and waits. It's a busy morning so the counter is pretty full of customers.

After his food comes, the leper proceeds to eat, but notices the man to his right look towards him and then retch...

Pablo Picasso was once mugged in the street...

When the police questioned him on the appearance of the culprit, he did the reconstruction sketch himself.

The investigation went rather quickly. On the first day, the police had already arrested 3 handicapped people, 3 elderly women, 2 fish, and a sewing machine.

The DJ played the Cha Cha Slide, so I did the Cha Cha Slide,

The DJ played Macarena, so I did the Macarena,

The DJ played Come On Eileen, and now I have an upcoming court appearance.

This joke may contain profanity. ๐Ÿค”

Through a poorly-worded genie wish, a man now has a 20-inch-long penis.

While the bragging rights were good for a few days, the man soon realizes that his dick is uncomfortable and unusable, and he must find a solution. He begins asking the local enchanters and witches if they have any suggestions, and finally gets a lead that the enchanted forest over yonder is home to...

Once, long ago, there was an Indian princess.

She was called Princess Happybottom, but she was very unhappy. She wanted more than anything to just be a normal girl.
One day, a magician noticed her forlorn appearance, and asked how he could help. โ€œI just want to be normal, with a normal name, and be treated like a normal person.โ€
โ€œI would...

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well-dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them.

One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $250.00 to spend the night with that woman." Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I'll take you up on that offer."


She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after biddin...

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