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Showers Jokes

Two priests are in a shower.

They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.

Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, while he is halfway down the hall when he sees three newly inducted nuns from o...

If April Showers bring May Flowers, then what do May Flowers bring?

Smallpox.

Joke from my 8 year old daughter for Halloween.

Why didn’t the ghost like to take showers?



Because it would dampen his spirits.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Adam Sandler told the funniest joke I've ever heard. It's about Shaq.

So Sandler relays the story below:

I was playing basketball and got the opportunity to play with Shaq. It was great. Afterward it just so happens that I'm in the showers and it's just him and me in adjoining showers. So I think to myself, I've got to see his penis. This is my one chance. I've...

Why do Native Americans hate April?

Because April showers bring May Flowers, and Mayflowers bring white people.

Why don’t Russian sailors take showers at sea?

They prefer to wash up on shore

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

I’ll be here all week folks, try the veal.

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My girlfriend keeps watching Chris Pratt movies then taking long showers.

I don’t know what she’s doing in there, but it gives me lots of time to jerk off to Chris Pratt

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Let’s Not Make Jokes About Golden Showers, Alright?

They’re piss-pour.

A woman once asked me about golden showers.

“Urine over your head,” I replied.

A prison decides to renovate its showers

An ageing prison facility is constantly beset by long queues for the shower area, which the managers decide to do something about because having all the prisoners together in one area outside of their cells might get nasty. So they look into the problem, and realise that, although the showers themse...

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Showers are so horny.

They get turned on by every naked person they see.

Singing in the showers Is great until you get soap in your mouth

Then it's a soap opera

What do you call a pirate that likes golden showers?

ARRRRRRRRR Kelly

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98% of black people love having sex in showers

The other 2% haven't been to prison yet

If April showers bring May flowers...

I'm on track to get 2 flowers next month.

I have a kink for getting showers

They make me wet.

Golden showers are the only litmus test for a relationship.

How else will you know urine love?

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How do you know that showers are horny?

Because every naked person turns it on.


Edit - Naked not named.... Bloody autocorrect

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A boy and a girl are in the showers together.

The boy gestures smugly to his penis and says “hey I bet you wish you had one of these”.

The girl shrugs and points to her vagina. “My mom says that because I have one of these I can have as many of those as I want.”

I used to not like hot showers

But I warmed up the idea eventually.

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A friend of mine got caught masturbating in the showers

That ruined our trip to Auschwitz - Jimmy Carr

How do you refer to a sponge that doesn't want to have anything to do with showers or baths?

Aloofa.

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People who claim they like golden showers ...

... are probably taking the piss.

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Golden showers result in one thing

Getting pissed

My girlfriend likes golden meteor showers

(I have kidney stones)

How does Princess Leia like her showers?

Lukewarm.

What do the Frey and public golden showers have in common?

Everyone knows urine over your head

my public pool's showers has two different soap dispensers one is white and the other soap is transparent

i asked my life guard about the difference between them

he said that the white one is shampoo for hair

and the transparent is for the body.

me being bald i asked him: so i use one soap?

he was silent for a second while he looked at my body me wearing only my swimming shor...

I'm addicted to taking showers...

..I've been trying to get clean for years now.

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My mum finds it disgusting that people pee in showers.

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Sometimes I can't help it, some just comes out when I take a shit

I founded a club for growers not showers

It started out small, but our members are increasing in size every day.

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[NSFW] I like to take showers before having sex.

I'm all about coming clean.

My wife found “golden showers” in my search history and threatened to leave.

I let her go.

Gotta look out for number one.

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