Sponge Bath Jokes - 26 Hilarious Sponge Bath Jokes

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A nurse is giving a sponge bath to a woman who has been in a coma for months....

When she runs the sponge up the woman's thigh the monitor beeps.
The nurse runs to the doctor and tells him this! He comes back, she does it again, and they are both shocked.
So they call the husband in and tell him what has happened.
"I know this is awkward, but we are going to suggest t...

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A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he migh...

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Woman in a coma

Two nurses are giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath. They notice that when they get near her private areas that she starts to get a little stimulated. The theorize that oral sex will bring her out the coma. They go out into the lobby and tell her husband their theory. The husband is a little apreh...

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Oral sex might just work!

A nurse is giving a sponge bath to a comatose woman. She is gently sponging her nether region when suddenly the monitor blips.

“Doctor!” she exclaims, “look at this!”

The doctor comes in, she does it again, and the monitor blips again.

“Interesting,” says the doctor. “Call her h...

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A woman is in a coma

and the nurse tending to her notices that whenever she is sponge bathing the woman, the woman’s vital signs jump a little on all of the machines an screens. So the nurse calls the husband and says ’come down to the hospital, i think i know how to get your wife out of this coma.’ so the husband hurri...

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two nurses

Two nurses were in the hospital talking about the new patient in room 302.

The first nurse said: "You'll never believe it about the guy in 302! I was giving him a sponge bath and I saw that he had the word 'Swan' tattooed on his penis! That's crazy!"
The second nurse said: "Tha...

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One day a nurse is giving a woman in a coma a sponge bath

and notices the heartbeat change slightly when the sponge was in her crotch.
Excitedly, she goes to the phone and calls the woman's husband and tells him to come to the hospital.

When he gets there the nurse tells him that she thinks that his wife could be helped perhaps by a little bi...

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A man and his wife are in a car accident.

The man is saved by the airbag, but the woman hits her head on the windshield and falls into a coma.

The man sits in the hospital waiting room day and night, praying for his wife to recover.

One day, while giving the wife a sponge bath, the nursing staff notices, when they wash her "pr...

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Man's wife is in a coma

A woman was in a coma being cared for by the Intensive Care nursing staff who noticed a little reaction on the vital -signs monitor as they washed between her legs during a sponge bath.

They tried it again and sure enough there was definite movement on the monitor.

As soon as they real...

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And this is how men think...

A woman was in a long coma. A nurse was giving her a sponge bath, when she accidentally made contact with the woman's vagina, which produced a reaction on the heart monitor.

Excited, she went and told one of the Doctors, and he in turn called the woman's husband to tell him to come over as s...

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Wife is in a coma

Steve's wife falls in to a coma and after 2 years, he gets called in that there maybe a breakthrough.

At the hospital a nurse informs him that while giving her a sponge bath and reaching certain area there was new brain activity that started. The doctor then tell Steve if he was willing perha...

Why did the nurse cuddle with her locked-in syndrome patients right after their sponge bath?

Because she likes her vegetables at the peak of freshness

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A man's wife had been in a coma in hospital for some time

As part of her continued care, her sheets were changed often and she was given sponge baths by a nurse.

During one of the sponge baths, the nurse noticed the wife reacted slightly when her private parts were washed.

The nurse spoke to the husband and explained that she had an unconvent...

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How men think...

A woman was in a coma in the hospital. One day a nurse was giving her a sponge bath, and as she was cleaning the woman's pelvic area, she noticed the EKG monitor reacting as she wiped around the woman's vagina.

Excitedly, the nurse called a Doctor, and told him what had happened.

The...

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A woman was in a coma.

Nurses were in her room giving her a sponge bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a response on the monitor when she touched her.

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, "Crazy as this sounds, maybe a little oral sex will do the...

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Following a shift change at the Hospital

a rather plain looking nurse was exchanging notes with her fellow nurse who is a very, very, pretty blonde with huge tits.
"That new patient in Ward 2, bed 11; when I gave him his sponge bath today, I noticed he had the word SWAN tattooed on his penis. Rather odd, don't you think?" said the rat...

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A woman gets into a car accident and goes into a coma...

The doctors and nurses do everything to try and help her but no response. They call in her husband to give him the news when a nurse comes running out and pulls the doctor aside. She says; "Doctor while I was giving the woman a sponge bath I washed her vagina and her heart rate and brain activity i...

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My old man (a doctor)'s Favorite.

A man waits patiently in the lobby of the ICU to see his wife, who has been in a coma for over a month, when a nurse runs out and says that he is needed right away.

Standing outside the room, the nurse tells the husband, "This morning we were giving your wife a sponge bath and we noticed some...

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An old woman is in a coma in a hospital and has been for 6 months...

One day a nurse is giving the comatosed woman her daily sponge bath and when the nurse rubbed the lady on her special place she noticed the heart monitor dramatically spike up indicating the woman might have responded!

The nurse inform the doctors who immediately call the woman's husband to ...

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A man's wife was in a coma.

He waited by her side every day for years.
One day as the nurse was giving her a sponge bath, she started to become more alert and her heart rate increased once she moved the sponge across her vagina.
The nurse came up with a plan and told the husband about the discovery.
"I think you sh...

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Four nuns were out for a stroll one day...

...when a bus lost control and plowed into them, killing them all instantly.

When they arrive at the pearly gates they are greeted by Saint Peter.

"Good to see you, sisters," he said. "Before I let you in to Heaven, you will each have to answer a question." He asked the first nun, "H...

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An old man is spending his first day inside a nursing home.

He wakes up with a rock hard erection and immediately a beautiful busty blonde nurse walks in, gives him a sponge bath and sucks him off. When she leaves he calls his son and tells him he loves it, this is the greatest place ever and that he's going to get some breakfast. As he's walking out the doo...

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Three Months In A Coma

A woman in her late 20's had been in a coma for three months after becoming ill. The floor nurse was doing her daily sponge bath when she noticed that the patient began to bite her bottom lip as she got closer to her vagina.

Baffled by this the nurse immediately notified the doctor. The doct...

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How Men Think...

A nurse was giving a female coma patient a sponge bath, when she accidently brushed up on the womans private parts. Suddenly, the patients vital signs jumped up. So the nurse tried it again, and once again, the vital signs jumped up...so she called the Doctor, and showed him what had happened.
Th...

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One of my all-time faves...

A woman was involved in a near-fatal car accident that rendered her comatose. For weeks she laid in her hospital bed, showing no signs of improvement. Her faithful husband visited her several times a day, never giving up hope.
One morning, a nurse was performing a sponge bath on her patient whe...

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[Nsfw] [long] An aging father has decided to go into assisted living

Because he didn't want to burden his son. He had been having trouble around the house and had a few scary falls. His son begged him to stay at his family's house, because he felt that this was the best plan.
"Dad, please! Stay with us! I've heard those places are horrible!" His father says "No wa...

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