Scattering Jokes

Title: "The Bourne Approximation"

As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system."Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when ... read more

So, we were thinking of scattering her ashes by the ocean, or maybe keep them in an urn.

The first, a dentist, says, “When I die, I think I’d like my tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble.”

“Hey,” adds the cardiologist, “that’s not a bad idea, I’d love my tombstone to be shaped as a heart…”

The gynecologist is silent for a bit, then says, “I think scatt... read more

Raleigh scattering

1) A hole has opened up on the motorway, the police are looking into it.

2) Someone has stolen the toilets at the police station, the police have nothing to go on.

3) A lorry carrying hair gel has tipped under suspicious cirumstances, over scattering it's content all over the road. The... read more

A guy is driving down a country road when suddenly a chicken darts into the road ahead of him. He swerves to miss it but is pretty sure he hit it. When he looks in the rearview mirror, though, he doesn't see the chicken. When he looks back forward, he sees that the chicken is running ahead of the ca... read more

A large lecture hall of students is taking the final exam for their course. Halfway through the hour, a student arrives late. As he picks up a copy of the test, the professor looks disappointed and says, "Young man, I wrote this test to take an hour. Because of your tardiness, it it unlikely you'll ... read more