Deep in the jungle there is a local watering hole that nearly all animals flock to each morning for a drink of water. They talk amongst themselves until a mean and angry lion lumbers to the watering hole, fearfully scattering everyone back into the jungle. Each morning a gorilla watches this daily b...
Word has it Matt Damon will reprise his role as a CIA assassin, but this time he'll pretend to be a physicist specializing in scattering theory.
Title: "The Bourne Approximation"
My mom is officially cancer free!!
So, we were thinking of scattering her ashes by the ocean, or maybe keep them in an urn.
Three doctors are talking about death
The first, a dentist, says, “When I die, I think I’d like my tombstone to be shaped like a tooth made of white marble.”
“Hey,” adds the cardiologist, “that’s not a bad idea, I’d love my tombstone to be shaped as a heart…”
The gynecologist is silent for a bit, then says, “I think scatt...
A student arrives late for an exam...
A large lecture hall of students is taking the final exam for their course. Halfway through the hour, a student arrives late. As he picks up a copy of the test, the professor looks disappointed and says, "Young man, I wrote this test to take an hour. Because of your tardiness, it it unlikely you'll ...
Winner! Winner! Chicken dinner!
A guy is driving down a country road when suddenly a chicken darts into the road ahead of him. He swerves to miss it but is pretty sure he hit it. When he looks in the rearview mirror, though, he doesn't see the chicken. When he looks back forward, he sees that the chicken is running ahead of the ca...
How come north Carolina is the bluest state?
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Are lost in the desert. Exhaustion, thirst and hunger are setting in. Out of supplies and options, Sister Mary prays to the Lord.
The Lord replies "March on my children, over the next ridge you will find a gift, when you have found it pray again."
Sure enough over the next ridge is an ...
Couple police jokes
1) A hole has opened up on the motorway, the police are looking into it.
2) Someone has stolen the toilets at the police station, the police have nothing to go on.
3) A lorry carrying hair gel has tipped under suspicious cirumstances, over scattering it's content all over the road. The...