I don't have a problem with kids being obsessed with fortnite. After all, they must have great hygiene...

Considering how much they floss

What do you call a Gungan with bad dental hygiene?

Tartar Binks

Start taking dental hygiene seriously at a young age

It’s nothing to brush off lightly

The best thing about alcohol hand gel in hospitals isn't the hygiene.

It's that everyone walks around like they're hatching a dastardly plan.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help.

After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches; the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your s...

I stand by the fact that hygiene is important.

No really, this guy smells terrible.

What do you do when a feminine hygiene product catches on fire?

You throw it on the ground and tampon it.

Jokes about female hygiene are totally inappropriate

Period.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Did you hear about the feminine hygiene spray SSY?

It takes the PU out of pussy.

Why does King Midas have terrible hygiene?

He starts each day with a golden shower.

My mom was always obsessed with dental hygiene...

...she would always take her electric toothbrush to bed and brush her teeth all night!

I won’t go anywhere near foot hygiene tools...

I hear some of them are pedi files

I've been stealing products from the hygiene store

I need to come clean

My roommate is really dedicated to dental hygiene

just last night I heard her using an electric toothbrush for what seemed like an hour

All feminine hygiene products now on sale for HALF PRICE

But hurry - it's just for the Christmas period.

9/10 dentists recommend good dental hygiene...

The other dentist is from England.

I have a lot of wisdom in regards to oral hygiene.

I'd consider myself a flosserpher.

Several epidemics throughout history have many similarities in characteristics.

For example, many diseases evolved from poor hygiene between animals and humans and a rise in urban population and interregional communication. Many had very similar effects and modes of transmission.

Because of the similarities, many historians are looking into allegations of these diseases ...

People named Jean are always clean

Because the first thing they're greeted with is "Hygiene".

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Bob was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second. On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang...

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in an accident and was in critical condition and in ICU.
The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that he'd be there as soon as possible.

As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A drunk, who smelled of stale beer, sat down on a subway seat next to a priest.

The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick and a half empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket.

He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, "Tell me, Father, what causes arthritis?"

...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A horse walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "why the long face?" The horse stands there, staring blankly at the bartender. Everyone starts to feel a little awkward. The horse's handler comes in and leads it out, but not before it's knocked over a couple of glasses and soiled itself. Needless to say, the bar is closed for t...

Three co-workers happen to leave the bathroom at the same time.

Two of them noticed that the other didn't wash his hands and decide to confront him about it.

The first one tells him, "You need to wash your hands. When I was in public school I learned that there are germs everywhere that can cause us to get sick if we don't have good hygiene."

The s...

A visit to my gynaecologist

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctors office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.

The ...

God was creating all the countries and it was the United Kingdom’s turn.

He turned to his angels and said, “ They shall live on a miserable damp island, they’ll barely get along with each other and be constantly on each other’s throats if not dealing with other countries, have bland food, the worst dental hygiene and have this insufferable fantasy about their country bei...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A Russian, a Frenchman, and a Canadian were in a bathroom together

They all finish their business and happen to be at the sinks at the same time. The Russian, noticing the two other men at the sink, says to them,

"In Russia, we were taught to be very conservative with our resources and therefore only use the amount of soap that is absolutely necessary."
...

The Queen and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they'll be admitted to heaven.

Unfortunately, there's only one space left that
day, so St. Peter asks Dolly if there's some
particular reason why she should go to heaven,
so she takes off her top and says, "Look at these.
They're the most perfect ones God ever created,
and I'm proud to own them.

St. Peter th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

An Air Force pilot, a Naval Officer and an Army Private all go to the bathroom

When they come out, the Air Force pilot begins thoroughly washing his hands and says,
'In the Air Force they taught us the importance of good hygiene.'

The Naval officer then begins washing his hands using only a small trickle of water and says,
'In the Navy they taught us the importanc...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man has had violent, uncontrollable diarrhoea for months...

After 3 months, he decides to go to the Doctor.
"I can't hold it." he explains. "Every time I try, it just builds up and I shit myself"

"Strange..." says the doctor. "Can you think of any possible causes? Badly prepared food? Poor hygiene?"

"Honestly doctor, I think it might be here...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Australian government sends a civil servant to gather data about the habits of a remote Aboriginal tribe

The civil servant asks a tribesman a series of questions about his life and eventually the matter of personal hygiene comes up.

\- How often do you wash your penis?

\- "Penis"? What's a "penis"?


Thinking this is the quickest way to explain, the civil servant drops his pants ...

As the result of an accident, a man lost teeth and had to have a partial plate made.

His dentist built a standard dental plate and fitted it into his mouth and it worked just fine.

In three months, the man was back at his dentist. The dentist looked in his mouth, and the plate he had just put in was so deteriorated it was beyond repair.

The dentist was shocked that it ...

A man is having problems attracting women, but he's not sure why

**A man is having problems attracting women, but he's not sure why**. The man wonders if he might have a *mental sickness*, so he goes to the clinic to see *a specialist*. While he checks in at the counter, the receptionist warns him, "The specialist has a **thick accent**, but don't worry - *his ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A little boy in a quaint town was said to be the hairiest person in history.

Even in a small community, where everyone was aware of and understood his plight, living a normal life was difficult. Even though everyone was respectful, the sheer volume of hair and speed at which it grew was a constant hardship. It interfered with the boy's eating, he would overheat quickly durin...

A collection of Waspy jokes about yo-mamma

1. Your mother is so déclassé, she has a time-share
near Sea World!

2. Your mother is so prescription drug dependent,
she pops Xanax like Godiva bonbons!

3. Your mother is so lower middle-class, she thinks
Egyptian cotton smells of camels!

4. Your mother...

A millionaire is looking for a housekeeper.

Three people showed up for the job. He wants to make sure they have good personal hygiene during work, so he put a camera in his big restroom monitoring the sink and see if they wash their hands after going to the restroom.

The first one finishes, doesn't wash his hands and walked out, the mi...

Just by looking at her smile, I can tell how good a girl is at oral...

hygiene.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My parents have been really pissed off with my life choices lately...

I started hanging out with this pothead and he got me started smoking. He's a decent guy but his hygiene is terrible. My parents nicknamed him Dirty. There also convinced we're sleeping together so they're always barging in on us.

Well the other day Dirty came over with some weed I've been w...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A classic. No doubt you've seen it before, but here goes:

In Heaven, there is the ideal citizen of the world:

He has the MANNERS of the Englishman, and the SEX APPEAL of the Spaniard.
He has the HUMOUR of the Irishman, and the BRAIN of the German.
He has the STYLE of the Italian, and the COURAGE of the Scotsman.
He has the MUSCLES of th...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

The Pope's in Town

The Pope is in town and nearly everybody is lining up outside of the the local church for a chance to meet him.

A religious man, looking forward to the chance of meeting the Pope, puts on his best suit and gets on line. It is the man's dream to discuss God with the Pope, and he has so many q...