Serving Jokes - 30 Hilarious Serving Jokes

AITA for mixing up orders and serving a vegan customer a meat sandwich?

Oops wrong sub

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An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the German front lines.

He had finally been granted R&R and was on a train bound for London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only unoccupied seat was directly adjacent to a well dressed middle aged lady and was being used by her little dog.
...

"I'm not serving you," said the bartender. "Too drunk."

"Sober up then you idiot," I slurred.

After each battle, Napoleon would walk down and shake the hands of all his soldiers

Each time, he would ask them the same three questions:

How old are you?
How long have you been serving in the army?
Which of the two battles have you fought in?

One time, a new, foreign soldier did not know French and was worried about what to say to Napoleon when it was his turn...

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He's Serving Her

Little Johnny went to visit his grandfather's farm for a holiday. While grandfather was showing him around the farm, he saw a cock doing his business with one of the hens, and he asked, "Grandpa, what's that?”

Grandpa replied, "That's a cock, and that's a hen, and he's serving her."

...

Ben is serving term in prison for fraud. One day he receives a letter from his father, Maurice

Dear Ben,

It looks like I won't be able to plant anything in the garden this year. I am growing too old to do any digging without your help. Looking forward to your early release.

Love, Dad

Ben replies:

Dear Dad,

Please don't dig up the garden - that's where I hid ...

I heard the Russians are serving their soldiers complex dishes to eat

The plates are real. But the food is imaginary.

Sorry, horrible math joke.

A young nurse is serving lunch at a retirement home

Her shirt reveals some cleavage, and a small rose tattooed on one breast. One old lady snickers to her friend, "She doesn't know it yet, but by the time she's our age that will be a long-stemmed rose."

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A guy walks into a convenience store, and he grabs a single-serving meal, a single-serving drink, a single-serving toothpaste, a single-serving dessert, single-serving everything, and he goes up to the counter with it.

The woman at the counter says, "Let me guess, you're single?" And he says, "Yeah, how could you tell?" And she says, "Because you're really fucking ugly."

Bill Belichick was in my store earlier and whilst I was serving him he said “listen, I need a quarterback. Think you could do that for me son?”

I said “wow, really?! You want me to play in the NFL?”

He said “No moron, this drink costs 75c and I gave you a dollar”

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A bra, car battery and some jumper cables walk into a bar..

The car battery and jumper cables go find a seat while the bra asks the bartender for 3 beers. The bartender replies, "I'm not serving you! You're obviously off your tits and your two mates look like they're about to start something."

A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign hanging over the bar which read: Cheese Sandwich: $1.50, Chicken Sandwich: $2.50, Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

“Yes?” she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

I was wondering, whispers the man, "are you t...

Restaurant server walk up to the guest their serving. Asks them if they "Want a box for the rest of this food?"

Guest looks at them confused and says "I guess?"
While sliding on boxing gloves.

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An old western tavern is serving a magical drink...

Cowboys from near and far would ride to this tavern in the wild west to try its most famous cocktail which was promised to turn a man's semen into bullets when drank. Many cowboys were hesitant to try, but eventually they would all come a round.

A restaurant in Heaven is serving a Christmas special. . .

One day, on Christmas, a restaurant in Heaven is having an extravagant, 3-course Christmas special.

“For our first course,” announces the head chef, “We’ll be serving the food you most commonly ate during your time on Earth!”

So, the waiters bring out everyone’s food. Some people get ...

My doctor tells me that a healthy serving of red meat is the size of a deck of cards.

Tonight I ate 52 slices of roast beef.

A butcher is serving his customers...

... when a stray dog comes in and starts barking.

The butcher is about to shoo him away when one customer says, "give him few lamb chops".

The butcher agrees and puts some in front of the dog. The dog eats everything in front of him but is still hungry. He looks at the butcher and st...

A king's chef was sentenced to death, after serving terrible food one too many times...

On the day the sentence was to be carried out, the chef brought one of his cakes and presented it to the headsman, in the hopes it would encourage him to make the death quick and painless.

When the headsman returned home, his wife asked how the proceedings had...

Why do waitresses love serving men in fedoras?

If you're nice to them, their tipping intensifies.

A waiter was serving someone when they dropped a spoon...

So the waiter pulled a spoon out of his top pocket. The man questioned why the waiter had a spoon in his pocket and started eating his dessert. The waiter replied we did a study and it showed that 70% of customers drop spoons so it saves us time having one with us. The customer looked intrigued and ...

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Bruce is serving a life term in prison. After a decade or so, he gains a cellmate: Will.

After taking some time to size Will up and decide that he can trust him, Bruce tells Will about his plan to escape.

"You see," Bruce says, "for the past nine years, I've been training my digestive system to follow my command. Now I can eat something and it comes out broken down into its...

They won't be serving beer for the rest of the year at Chicago Cubs baseball games.

They lost the opener.

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A young man stopped at a local restaurant after a day of roaming around in Spain

While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious-looking platter being served at the next table.

It looked good.

It smelled good.

He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?"

The waiter replied, "Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are bull's te...

Who's the longest serving Mayor of bacon city?

Oscar Mayer

My 9 year old son just told me this joke & hopefully its an original

Three guys enter a restaurant

They heard that in this particular restaurant, the waiter would sing their customer a little song every time they give out their order.

Hearing this, the guys each make their order. Then, after waiting a while, the waiter arrives with one of the firest guy's food and a little song to accompan...

What do you call a small serving of macaroni?

Snac And Cheese

My local restaurant is serving Oasis soup!

You get a roll with it.

A person with an art degree walks into a bar.

They then head behind the counter and start serving drinks.

A recently-married man is serving in the Navy.

He is on a ship near an island a long way from home, and he knows he will be there a long time. He sends a letter to his wife saying that there are lots of young and beautiful girls on the island. Could she send him something to distract him from them? She sends him an accordion with a note saying "...

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If being sexy was a crime I’d be serving a life sentence...

... for man slaughter

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