This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach...

A woman with no arms and no legs was lying on the beach as a fit, handsome man walked by.

"Sir," she said, "Would you do me a favor? I'm very lonely here. Would you give me a hug?"

"Certainly," he said, and knelt down to give her a hug.

She blushed and said, "That was wonderful....

My wife thinks her latest copy of Indian Cooking Monthly is too narrowly focused

I think it's a naan issue.

Don't make a decision before you have studied all its aspects ! Don't make a decision when you are angry !

An iron company manager, while touring the company noticed a young man leaning against the wall and doing nothing.

He approached him and said softly, "How much is your salary?"

The young man was calm and surprised by the personal question.

He answered, "2500 dollars a month, sir...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A professor develops a theory to determine how truthful patients are when asked about their sex life.

According to the theory, the wider the smile is, the more frequent the intercourse.

To put his theory into practice, he invites some of his patients into the practice.

He goes up to the first one, asks him a few questions and, seeing the smile, asks:

\- You're together once a w...

I was recently targeted by an organ donation scam

They tried to convince me that, for a small monthly fee, I could have priority access to organ donation from the recently deceased.

It was a dead giveaway.

My dad had a rule that if we farted in the car we had to pay him 10 dollars out of our $100 monthly allowance.

He always got his ten per scent.

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