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World Series Jokes

What do cubs fans do after they win the world series?

They turn off their Xbox.

It’s the World Series, and a man makes his way to his seat right next to the field.

He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks the old man on the other side of the empty seat if someone will be sitting there.

“No,” says the old man. “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a s...

That World Series game was so long...

When it started Kevin Spacey was still a respected actor.

A certain President of the Uinted States attends a World Series Game.

As the game is about to begin, the President grabs his wife and throws her through the window of the VIP box. As she lands on the horrified attendees seated below, a frantic aide comes running over yelling

"Nonononono, Mr. President! It's "throw the first *pitch*!"

After tonight's World Series game...

It looks like the Indians are going to have a different type of trail of tears.

A priest, a rabbi, and a World Series MVP walk into a bar...

The bartender stops them and says, “No no no, what is this, some kind of joke?”

They're playing with the largest deck of cards ever at this year's World Series of Poker.

It's a pretty big deal.

What is the difference between a polar bear and the World Series?

One has cubs

The moment the Washington Nationals won the World Series

Was absolutely briceless.

For the first time in their franchise history the Washington National’s are World Series champions

Scherzer threw his glove out of the way and everybody started crowding the mound, jumping up and down with pure joy. Man the expressions on their faces were completely Bryceless!

I'm glad the Chicago Cubs finally won the World Series.

108 years of hibernation just doesn't seem healthy.

I'm glad the Astros won the World Series

The people of Houston have waded so long for this.

A lion offspring asked his dad "What is a world series?"

"I don't expect you to understand son, you are just a Cub"

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Two Chicagoans die in an unfortunate car wreck.

Tragic, especially considering they didn’t exactly spend their days helping old ladies cross the street or volunteering at the Boys and Girls club. Nope, these fellows went straight to Hades.

The Devil, as is his custom, goes to greet hi...

I have finally punched my membership card into Dad jokes!

So last night my 12 year old son and I are watching the Little League World Series. The pitcher for the Nevada team has a last name of "Kryszczuk". My son looks to me and asks "Do you think he's Russian?"

My response: Nope, it looks like he's taking his time.

It took him a couple of...

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Guy walks into a hotel

A few years back, a feeder tournament for the World Series of Poker has attracted a lot of people to the town where it is being held, and every hotel in town is sold out. A guy without a reservation walks in and asks for a room. The desk clerk tells him “Sorry, but there are no rooms available. Due ...

Things that have occurred in history since the Chicago Cubs last won a World Series...

I had an ice cream cone. That I dripped all over myself.

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell. As punishment for his many sins, the Devil shoved him into a room and proceeded to crank up the heat and humidity.

But the man just smiled and said, “Oh, this is just like Chicago in the Spring.”

So, the Devil cranked up the heat...

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The National Anthem

A drunk guy’s watching the World Series at the bar. The game hasn’t even started and the dude’s already pretty wasted. They just finished singing the National Anthem when the guy says to the bartender, “I betcha $500 I can fart the National Anthem.”

The bartender seeing some easy money take...

What will they be wearing in Africa next month?

Houston Astros World Series Champion t-shirts.

A Tampa man dies and goes to Hell.

A Tampa man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.”

The man says, “No problem. I’m from Tampa.”

So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to ...

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So, a guy is being shown around an insane asylum on his first day of working there

He looks into a room through a window in the door and sees a man flailing his arms back and forth. So he asks “What are you doing in there”?

The reply back is “I’m a famous baseball player, and when I get out of here I’m going to win the World Series”

Moving on to the next door and lo...

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american vs Russian in strong man competition.

In a world series of strong men, an American and a Russian made it to the finals. In the final they had to go in to 3 different rooms and fulfil 3 tasks

1. Drink 3 bottles of the strongest alcohol and come out on your feet

2. Break and bring back 2 teeth of a Lion

3. Fuck th...

I'm still in a state of total shock

I mean the Cubs won the World Series

A man from Baltimore dies and goes to hell...

He had been a bad man his entire life and therefore the devil made sure to give him extra work in the hottest fiery pit of hell. After a week goes by, the devil stops by to see how miserable the man is, but instead finds the man happily going about his work. He asks the man:
"Why are you so damn ...

Chicago really is the windy city.

After all, they did just win de World Series

2016

where Leiceister City defies the odds of 3000/1 to win the league title, Cubs win the world series, and Donald Trump is elected as the president of the United States

Two baseball fanatics...

Jake and Johnny were the best of friends and fanatical about the game of baseball. While watching the World Series the two pondered if baseball existed in heaven.

"You think heaven will have baseball?," asked Jake.

"I certainly hope so!," Johnny said. "Tell you what, let's make a deal...

Dog Knows Baseball Trivia

Man brings his dog to trivia night at the local bar....

"How can your dog possibly compete if he can't talk?"

"Oh, he can talk, watch this: Duke, which player was the first to hit 60 home runs in a season?"

ROOPH....ROOPH!

"C'mon man, he didn't say Ruth, he just barked."...

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My Friend is a Die-Hard Cubs Fan...

He won two tickets to Saturday's World Series game at Wrigley Field, but that day is the same day as his wedding, so he can't go.

If you're interested and want to go in his place: it's at St. Mary's Church at 6pm. Her name is Ashley, she'll be the one in the white dress.

An ugly man is walking through a forest when he trips on something.

He bends down and pulls a lamp out of the dirt. He rubs the lamp and sure enough, out pops a genie.


"I will grant you one wish for freeing me from the lamp."


"Well, as you can see, I've had trouble meeting women. I'd really like to find a wife and settle down. For my wish, I...

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