A rabbi, a Hindu priest, and a politician went on a hike

Night fell and they were exhausted. The hotel on the map was nowhere to be seen.

They knocked on the door of a farm and asked if they could spend the night.

The farmer said, “Of course, but I only have a small room with two beds. One of you will have to sleep in the barn.”

The H...

What did the Christian monk say to the Hindu monk?

“Your karma ran over my dogma!”

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What's the difference between the Nazi Swastika and the Hindu Swastika?

The axis

Do you know why Hindu worship Lord Ganesha first

Because we have to first address the elephant in the room

One day two accountants, who were best friends, were walking together down the street. One was a Hindu and constantly berated the other for eating meat!

After stopping for a hot dog, the Hindu erupted "Why do you eat meat?, Do you even know what's in that hot dog? You know, you are what you eat!"

The American replied "I am what I eat, an uncontrollable vicious animal (beating his chest)"

As they stepped off the curb a speeding car ca...

A guy walks into a hindu bakery...

The guy said, "tomorrow's my girlfriend's birthday, but I'm a bit short on cash, what's your cheapest cake?"

Baker responded, "come back tomorrow, and I'll have one ready for you at no cost."

Skeptical, the guy almost didn't return. But the next day he was passing by and walked in. T...

A Hindu, a Rabbi, and a Jehovah's Witness are lost..

They wander across a farmstead and ask to spend the night.

"I only have room for two, so one of you will have to stay in the barn," says the Farm Owner.

The Hindu immediately volunteers, insisting it's no problem. However, a few minutes later, he knocks on the front door.

"I'm s...

It is really unfortunate that Islam, Christianity, and Judaism have been fighting each other for centuries.

Hindus, on the other hand, never had any beef.

Hindu dies and goes to heaven...

Hindu dies and goes to heaven. He's standing at the pearly gates, talking to St Peter. He says, "I wish to speak to Jesus Christ", and St Peter turns his head and yells, "Jesus, your cab is here!"

Although I'm not Hindu, I still can respect the religion.

We should all coexist; to each their Aum.

What did the Hindu monk say when the policeman asked him to leave the premises?

Namaste.

My Hindu friend is very peaceful.

He has never had beef with anyone.

You'll never hear a Hindu tell a Yo Mamma joke...

They consider cows to be sacred.

Why did the hindu comedian stop telling jokes on reddit?

Bad karma.

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Before Covid I wanted to go to India and learn Hindu.

Namaste my ass inside.

A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car suddenly breaks-down. They set out to find help, and come to a farmhouse. When they knock on the door, the farmer explains that he has only two beds, and one of the three has to sleep in the barn with the animals.

The three quickly agree. The Rabbi says he would sleep in the barn and let the other two have the beds. Ten minutes after the Rabbi leaves, there's a knock on the bedroom door. It's the Rabbi, exclaiming, "I can’t sleep in the barn; there is a pig in there. It's against my religion to sleep in the s...

My friend always gets mad at me for calling her a hindu

Maybe if she’d stop saying “Holy cow!” so frequently...

What's the Hindu God of baking?

Ganache

An American woman went to a Hindu wedding in India...

and bought some traditional clothing to wear to it. When she got to the wedding, she saw another guest wearing the same thing she was, and was very upset.

"I can't believe I traveled halfway around the world, and someone wore the same dress as I did!", she cried.

"Sari", said the othe...

Walk

I went to a Inter-Religion Integration Seminar.

The Bishop came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of Jesus Christ, you will walk today!”

I smiled and told him I was not paralysed.

The Rabbi came, laid his hands on my hand and said, “By the will of God Almighty, ...

A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar

They all begin discussing their own churches and synagogue. As the night goes on, they drink more and more, and the discussion starts to turn competitive. Each starts to boast about how eloquent they are, and how great they are at converting non believers. Eventually, the bartender gets sick of it. ...

A Christian, a Muslim, a Hindu, and an Atheist all die...

They find themselves on a path in the clouds. First they path slopes down, and they're amazed at how easy it is with the sun on their backs. When it slopes up, they're surprised to find they're not winded. The path curves around a bend slightly to the north. Continuing the curve, they feel the heat ...

TIL Zero and its operation were first defined by Hindu astronomer and mathematician Brahmagupta in 628

Thanks for nothing

My girl left me for a Hindu guy.

It's okay thought, he'll treat her better. They worship cows.

I’m not sure whether putting up Christmas lights would offend my Hindu neighbors.

So to make sure, I hung a giant banner saying “YOU WORSHIP FALSE GODS!” on my window.

A Jew, an Hindu and Karen survive a plane crash in the woods

They walk together trough the woods throughout the day and into the night looking for help.

At last, they find a little wooden house with a lit window and a barn next to it.

The Jewish man says:

"Finally, someone who can help us! Let's ask the owner if we can stay the night and ...

A Protestant missionary is in India trying to convert Hindus to Christianity

He teaches a Hindu man about Christianity and gives him a Bible.

He comes back a week later and sees a picture of the pope among all the other gods at the man's house.

"Why do you have a picture of the pope there?"

"Isn't he the reincarnation of Jesus?"

The missionary tol...

A Hindu man, a Rabbi, and Lawyer are walking together on a journey. They realize they will be needing a place to stay so they stop at a lonely farmhouse. The lawyer knocks on the door.

A farmer opens the door and, seeing the three men in front of him, asks "How may I help you?"


The lawyer as the nominated spokesperson says, "We three humble travelers are seeking a place to sleep. We need no food, just a bed."


The farmer replies, "I only have two beds. One...

What does a Hindu Pirate say?

Arrr, Shiva me timbers.

If a person does exceedingly well in the Catholic faith, they become a saint. But if someone does equally well in the Hindu faith, they become a...

Saint Bernard.

A Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and an Alabama Crimson Tide fan are in a car together, but the car breaks down.

Luckily, there's a farm right nearby. The farmer says, "I only got room for two of ya in the house, so one of you's gonna have to sleep in the barn."

The Hindu holy man decides to go, but comes back to the barn because there's a cow in there, and Cows are sacred in his faith.

The Rabb...

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A Hindu, a Jew and a lawyer are traveling, taking a scenic route through the country when their car breaks down...

It's too late in the day to call a tow truck, so they walk up the road to a small farmhouse to ask for help.

They knock on the door and the farmer warmly greets them. They explain the situation and he says that he doesn't have he necessary equipment to tow them, but if they would like to sta...

A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer

Are driving through the countryside one night and their car breaks down. They walk to a nearby farm and the farmer tells them it’s too late to take the car to a repair shop but that they can stay the night until morning. However, he informs them that he only has two beds and someone will have to sle...

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The Transreligious Dinner Party

Six people are planning a dinner party: a Jew, a Christian, a Muslim, a Pagan, a Hindu, and an Atheist. The Atheist suggests pork chops as the main course. The Jew says, “No, we can’t have pork, YHWH strictly forbids the consumption of pork.”

The Christian says in response, “No He doesn’t! Je...

A Jewish man was talking to a Hindu man

Jew: Yeah, so in my religion we only believe in one God.

Hindu: No way!

Jew: Yahweh

I'm not worried about Muslim suicide bombers. They can only attack once.

*Hindu* suicide bombers on the other hand...

A Muslim, a Hindu and a Mormon walk into a bar

The bartender says, "Ah the people you run into when you lose your liquor licence."

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The Department of Justice has announced the approval of a merger between Reddit and a Hindu temple

This is anticipated to create $50 million of synergies in the karma industry.

I asked my Hindu friend whether he plans to evacuate for Hurricane Florence.

He said, Na-ama-ste.

A Lawyer, a Muslim, and a Hindu are travelling together...

One night, they are looking for a place to stay, and one of them sees a house in the distance. One of them knocks on the door and a farmer answers the door. They ask politely to stay, and the farmer says, "Yes, you may stay. However, one of you will have to sleep in the barn, as I have only room for...

[Offensive] A Muslim an Atheist and a Hindu get stuck on the side of a road.

A nearby farmer decides to let them stay at his house but he only has two beds so he says one of them will have to sleep in the barn.

The Atheist volunteers first and goes to sleep in the barn. However he knocks at the door of the house 15 minutes later and complains that he can't take the sm...

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A Hindu, a Jew, and a TV Preacher...

A Hindu, Jew, and televangelist are traveling together when it starts getting dark. They see a ranch in the distance and decide to ask the rancher if they can spend the night.

They knock at the door. "Do you mind if we sleep in your barn tonight?"

"Well sure but you don't all have to....

One thing you'll never hear a Hindu say...

.."Ah well...you only live once!"

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One Friday morning, Akshit Singh lost his dear pet cat.

He frantically searched around the neighborhood, looking for his precious Bala. He tried to search under dumpsters, he asked his neighbors if they'd seen Bala wandering around recently, and he set cat food and water outside in hopes of attracting Bala back to his house.



Much to his d...

Two friends: a christian arab, and his indian friend were on a plane

Suddenly there was a turbulance and the captain announces “ this is the captain, I am sorry to inform you that we have technical problems with one engine and we need to loose some weight “ the passengers were upset when he continued “ we’ll be fair with everyone: Africans and asians we need you to ...

Priest and a Hindu are making breakfast..

The priest is spreading on margarine and exclaims, "Look! It's Jesus in the spread!"
Shocked, the Hindu replies, "Wow, I can't believe it's not Buddha."

A jew, a Hindu, and a politician who were traveling together were tired and needed a place to stay the night.

They arrived at a farmer's house and requested to stay the night. The farmer informed them that he had one extra bedroom, so two of them could share the bed. One would have to sleep in the barn.

The hindu, being very polite, offers to sleep in the barn. Later that night, the Hindu knocks o...

What did the Hindu parking lot say to the other Hindu parking lot?

You were born a lot and you're going to die a lot.

One day a hindu priest was walking down the street.

And he saw a beautiful red fence in front of a house. The only issue was that the beam holding the light was broken. So the priest went home, grabbed his toolbox, and returned to restore the light to it's place. So the passerbys would be able to see without stumbling.

By and by the man who o...

An American, a Hindu, and a Russian land in Purgatory.

A grey-winged angel with a huge whip hanging from his belt meets them and says: "Alright, here's the rules. Anyone who takes three strikes from my whip without screaming, can go straight to Heaven. You can shield yourselves with whatever you like. We've got everything here. Who's first?" The America...

A Hindu, a Christian, A Sikh, an atheist, and a Buddhist walk into a clinic...

One of them is called to see the doctor, he goes in, and after a while leaves the clinic. After that, everyone else was angry because they had not received service from the doctor. They ask the nurse standing outside why this is so, to which she said: "I'm sorry, we only serve the sikh."

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A Hindu, a Jew and a televangelist...

A Hindu, a Jew, and a televangelist are driving down a desolate road late at night, when suddenly the car breaks down in front of a farm. They decide to see if the folks who live on the farm will let them sleep there for the night so they can call a tow truck in the morning.

They knock on th...

A Jewish Rabbi, Hindu Pujari, and Evangelical Christian Pastor all arrive in a small town....

A Jewish Rabbi, Hindu Pujari, and Evangelical Christian Pastor all arrive in a small town holding a regional religious exchange conference.

However, upon arriving at the very last motel on the edge of town at the same time, the manager says, "I'm sorry gentlemen, but I only have one room lef...

A hindu murderer was diagnosed with cancer

He had murdered 7 children and knew he was going to be reincarnated as a moth due to bad karma.

So he reposted old jokes on reddit

What did the Hindu say when asked if he was going to leave on his pilgrimage across all of the ancient holy sites?

Namaste here.

What did the stubborn Hindu in Pakistan say after partition?

Na-ama-ste

A rabbi, A pujari (a Hindu holy man) and a Southern Baptist minister were travelling, when they ran out of gas...

so they walked to a farm, and asked if they could spend the night.

The farmer agreed to let them stay, but he only had one room with two beds, so the third person would have to sleep in the barn.

"Oy Vey, I'll sleep in the barn" said the Rabbi, and he went off to sleep. Not five minut...

From my History class about elections: If a country is 80% Hindu and 20% Muslim, who wins?

The USA

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Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgaria...

How do you know that Hindu woman is into you?

Her diode starts flashing green.

What do you call a Hindu god playing basketball?

Swishnu

A Hindu candle company has released a "Nirvana" scented candle.

It smells like teen spirit.

An American mistakes a Hindu from India as a Muslim from Pakistan

Indian guy goes "Excuse me sir, you seem to have mistaken me for a Muslim from Pakistan. I belong to 711 not 911."

I will show myself out.

A British Gentleman visits India..

He landed in the state of West Bengal, the former seat of the East Indian Company.

Dressed in classic gentlemanly fashion he decided to start the tour by visiting the famed Victoria Memorium Hall. Taken aback by the marvellous architecture, he stopped the nearest passerby and asked, "Who mad...

What do you call an Indian Jedi?

Mace Hindu.

I'm Becoming a Hindu

Son : Dad I want to learn about Hinduism

Dad : So are you going to be praying to your mother now?

Son : What are you talking about...

Dad : Hindus worship cows right?

Easter Joke

A Buddhist, Hindu, and atheist die and go to heaven. St. Peter greets them and says, "Well I have good news and bad news. The bad news is you backed the wrong horse. Christianity is the true faith, but the good news is you can still get into heaven if you can correctly answer a question."

He...

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Dad, is Santa real?

There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according to the popul...

Classic joke

Guy passes away and goes to Heaven. He is walking around aimlessly until an Angel stops him and asks
"Are you lost"


He said, "Yeah,kinda"


The Angel says," OK. Follow me and I'll show ya around."


He replies, "Great lead on."

They walk together down this corr...

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Some tidbits for your pleasure

I'm wearing the boxers with the little hearts all over them tonight....
It's probably not a good night to go to jail.

Getting married at 22 sounds a lot like leaving a party at 9:30pm.

Probably should not have driven home from the bar last night.. especially considering I walked...

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Classic Rocky and Bullwinkle pun

On a December trip to Frostbite Falls, Minnesota, Ferdinand Feghoot was summoned to the local college, Wossamotta U. by Inspector Fenwick, the Chief of Police.

There he was confronted with an appalling scene. Bullwinkle, the town's leading citizen, had been smashed flatter than a kippered her...

Three men are driving in a car when it breaks down on an abandoned road

A Hindu man, a Jewish man, and a Polish man. After walking for a few miles, they come across a farm with a barn. Desperately seeking a place to sleep for the night, they knock on the door and ask the farmer if they can sleep in the barn.

The farmer says it's OK as long as they don't disturb h...

Enrique Peña Nieto, Malala Yousafzai, and Donald Trump are walking along a beach

It's a bit of an oldie, and I think the last time I heard it, it came off as pretty racist. But I think the current political climate allows me to rehash it better.

Enrique Peña Nieto, who is the Mexican President, is walking along the beach one day with the US President, Donald Trump, and p...

911?

Husband: "Hello, 911? Yes, there's this Hindu fellow who's been following my wife around for the past few hours, and it's starting to really creep us out. He just now got down on his knees and he's... praying, or something."

911 Operator: "Sir, calm down, there's no issue here- Hindus are wel...

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Exam for athletes

The following is a college entrance exam for athletes.

Time Limit: 3 Days.

Write Your Name: ________________________________________
(20 point bonus if spelled correctly).

1. What language is spoken in Germany?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire wi...

Reincarnation

I told my wife that in the Hindu religion she could come back as something completely different. She said she wanted to come back as a cow.
I told her she wasn't listening.

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