Senate Jokes

And lowers it

He keeps insisting that the black votes should only count for 3/5ths.

I don’t know but a group of them is called a Senate.

He finally brought a motion to the floor.

They will be ending their 'take your daughter to work' program.

Because she likes being Speaker of the House.

"I use Arch btw"

They found that in response to Sesame Street promoting friendship, racial equality, and care, the CIA captured the Count and forced him to run through truckloads of rice.

In other words: they've hit a wall

You’ve got a lot of Gaul!

Few people remember that on March 6 Caesar sent each senator a beautiful cutlery gift set hoping to gain their favor. It obviously didn't work. Oh well, as Shakespeare wrote...

...beware the ideas of March!

Let them eat cake!

Rest in peace, Bill.

Alabama already did this several years ago, deciding to permanently go back to 1845.

He arrives 15 minutes late and enters to see each seat filled, with the exception of his own, and Cicero standing in the middle of the room giving a speech.

He manages to stealthily make his way to his seat without causing too much of a commotion and leans over to the senator next to him, ask... read more

So in other words, there's joint support for joint support for joint support.

Missionary.

I kept seeing this in r/news, but I was sure it belonged here......

I guess you could say he got Moore votes.

for Secretary of Low Energy.

He enjoys coming in a little behind.

Ted Cruz: I'm the most hated person in the Senate.

Susan Collins: Hold my beer.

Brett Kavanaugh: Who said beer?

Twitter repost @Amanda_Kerri

Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?

Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...

Brutus: I ate 2 slices.

Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?

I wonder how many short buses that took.

*"A minor setback."*

Unlike Roy Moore, they were capable of waiting 25 years.

After tonight, Roy Moore won't be in the Senate.

And Bronx-Lebanon Hospital is already rolling out Trumpcare.

with an hour off for lunch.

As he pulled up to the curb outside the store, he saw a well-to-do man standing on the sidewalk.
He said to him: “Listen, I’m going to be only a couple of minutes. Would you watch my car while I run into this store?”

“What?” the man huffed. “Do you realize that I am a member of the United ... read more

Roy Moore came in a little behind.

Because he mated at will and killed without remorse.

.. A policeman stops him and asks: 'Why did you park your bike here? Don't you know about this road? Many important politicians, cabinet members, even the President and other such politicians pass through here..'

The boy replied innocently: Don't worry, I have locked my bike.'

He said “If you’re not Mitt, you must acquit.”

Oh wait... That was Palpatine.
False alarm.

His horse kept casting too many neigh votes.

“Half of this Senate is made up of cowards and corrupt politicians!” All the other senators demand that the angry member withdraw his statement or be removed for the remainder of the session. After a moment to think, the angry senator apologizes. “I’m sorry,” he says. “What I meant to say was half o... read more