If a foreign enemy attacked the United States and killed 180K+ citizens, the whole country, Republicans and Democrats, would most likely join together into defeating it...

Oh wait, never mind.

A Democrat and a Republican were walking along the beach when they spotted a bottle.

They picked it up and a genie popped out.

"I will grant you each one wish, whatever you desire", said the genie.

The Democrat said, "I would like for my fellow liberals and I to live the life and exist under the form of government we believe in!" POOF! All the Democrats in America were...

How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They only *talk* about change.

The political parties can't agree on what a second economic stimulus package should look like. Democrats want every American to receive a $1,200.00 check, while Republicans favor giving everybody 10 pounds of Parmesean cheese.

The GOP wants to "Make America Grate Again".

Why are Democrats considered more attractive than Republicans?

Never heard of a hot piece of elephant.

I searched Reddit and this joke hasn't been posted.

USPS came out with a Donald Trump stamp. They were Yugely popular at first, but suddenly went out of circulation, because they wont stick to the envelopes.

This enraged the president, and he demanded a full investigation, blamed the democrats and JINA and the lame-stream media.


<...

The Democrats are having trouble gaining traction for any of their candidates, so

They have asked Anthony Wiener to run for President and he would have Eric Holder as his VP.


They say it's the Wiener-Holder ticket. They will beat the competition, be hard on crime, and get a grip on the big issues.


They will get to meat of it all.

The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats

A young man, down on his luck, was hitch-hiking through New England. A well-dressed man driving a Lincoln pulled up, lowered the passenger side window, and asked, “Do you vote Republican or Democrat?”

“Democrat,” said the hitch-hiker. And the Lincoln sped off in a cloud of dust.

The ne...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does a double sided dildo have in common with republicans and democrats?

No matter what side you pick your fucked.

Democrats have won the debates over the GOP for how the impeachment trial will proceed.

Dems the rules

I recently asked my neighbors little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President someday.

Both of her parents, Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed.

'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her, 'But you don't have to wait ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there is one thing that democrats and republicans can agree on during this impeachment hearing...

...it's that "quid pro quo" is really fucking fun to say!

People say that Democrats and Republicans can't work together to get anything done.

But Jeffrey Epstein is dead.

The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats

A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don’t know where I am."

"You’re at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies.

"You must be a Democrat."<...

Republicans and Democrats never agree on anything

Republicans said the temperature is -40° F
And democrats immediately said it was -40° C.

The Democrats agreed to sign over $6 Billion for the construction of the border wall, on one condition... that Trump stay on the other side.

Trump agreed.



...but Mexicans refused.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I just realized the fight between obi wan and Anakin perfectly sums up the past year of fighting between Millenials and Boomers, respectively.

When Jedi business becomes too real.

---------------

Millenials: You have allowed this giant turd to twist your mind, until now, until now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy.

Boomer : Don't lecture me, child, I see through the lies of the libtards I do not fear t...

What do Democrats do when they lose a game of CSGO?

They blame the Russians

Checkmate Democrats

If teachers don't have arms, how are they supposed to write on the board?

I only sleep with democrats.

That way, I don't have to worry about the baby afterwards.

I recently told a joke about how Democrats favor small government, and decreased taxes.

It didn't go over very well. Everyone said it was politically incorrect.

All nascar racers must be Democrats

Becuase all they do is go left

The problem with Trump jokes:

Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.

How do Democrats apply their sunscreen?

Liberally.

A blind answer poll was made to dads everywhere, whether they liked Republicans or Democrats.

The only answer they got back was "Yes."

If there weren't any democrats...

then who would be left?

What's the difference between democrats and republicans in America?

One group wants to abolish ICE, the other wants to abolish ice.

How can the Democrats light a fire under Millennial voters?

They can use Flint and Tinder

Democrats have been really angry over the 2016 election results

The last time Democrats were THIS angry is when the Republicans took their slaves away

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