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Impeachment Jokes

A country going through an impeachment...

May be unpresidented.

Is it "Happy Impeachment" or "Merry Impeachment"?

I don't want to offend anyone.



Treason's Greetings and Impeach Navidad!

I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn’t vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.

The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.

The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.

The impeachment of Trump will be a stain on his legacy

Whereas the impeachment of Clinton was the legacy of his stain.

If Trump wanted to avoid impeachment...

...he should’ve falsely claimed there were WMDs in Iraq

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump found out about impeachment tonight coming after him.

Donald Trump: "Was she the stripper from Georgia? Write her a check."

Trump Hired Bill Clinton's Impeachment lawyer!

Just made me laugh more than many jokes i found here

Why is Donald Trump happy about the impeachment result?

Because it’s the first time he’s gotten the most votes.

An Impeachment hearing walks into a bar..........

But with no witnesses or evidence we don't know what was ordered, or what the bartender said, so.....no punchline.

Trump has more impeachments than he does social media accounts.

This joke will never get old, ever.

I have to say after watching the impeachment voting...

This has to be the most interesting season of the apprentice yet!

How much does presidential impeachment insurance cost?

Just one pence

Hey Homer, did you hear about the Impeachment?

Mmmmm peach mint (drool noises)

I don’t understand why everyone is getting so excited about Trump’s impeachment

It’s not like it’s unpresidented

Why aren't all the Trump supporters out having a rally against his impeachment?

Their white sheets aren't clean from the last rally yet

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You guys hear that Trump’s not going to participate in his impeachment inquiry?

I heard he got phone spurs.


(Credit to Colbert)

President Trump just compared impeachment to being lynched.

If you are expecting an apology he will leave you hanging.

I can see why evangelicals have backed Trump even through impeachment.

All three of his marriages have lasted longer then his presidency.

Alan Dershowitz privately counselled Senate Republicans on how to handle the articles of impeachment for Donald Trump

He said “If you’re not Mitt, you must acquit.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there is one thing that democrats and republicans can agree on during this impeachment hearing...

...it's that "quid pro quo" is really fucking fun to say!

“You were able to escape the draft, Become President and now you’re trying to avoid impeachment. How?”

“I ran”

What's rarer that a double rainbow

Double impeachment

Why does Trump go bananas on the media?

Because they are trying to orange his impeachment.

In honor of Trump's last night as president, tonight I'll be making...

Lame Duck A L'Orange, and for dessert, ImPEACHment Cobbler.

What's the nightmare of a president who is allergic to stone fruit?

Impeachment

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

I know the pandemic is causing people to struggle financially, but honestly, I'm making a fortune.

I rent out bookcases to be installed behind everyone doing a TV interview about either Covid or the Impeachment process.

What is the funniest way you could end the greatest joke in United States history?

Impeachment

There have been two presidential impeachments in the history of the United States...

One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

Find yourself a woman who holds you as tight as Nancy Pelosi holds her impeachment articles

A guy is driving past the White House....

...and he sees that the road is blocked, but they are letting cars through one at a time. There are crowds on the sidewalk, shouting, but he can't hear what's being said.

Finally he gets to the roadblock, and rolls down his window. "What's going on?" he asks.

"Donald Trump has had ...

Joke Archeology -- who's heard an older version of this often recycled joke?

I heard this one the first time back in the early 70's.

Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were giving a young hippie hitchhiker a ride home in Air Force One from the Camp David Area, they started having engine trouble, unfortunately there were only four parachutes and the drafted pilots ju...

Bad Traffic

A Marine colonel on his way home from work at the Pentagon came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than usual. Nothing's moving."

He notices a police officer walking back and forth between the lines of cars so he rolls down his window and asks, "E...

So this farmer named Juan wants to run for city council.

He notices his small town is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

So Juan runs for city council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don...

The Pope goes to Washington DC.

He's there to cure the sick, heal the masses, and all those Pope type things he does.

Donald Trump comes up to him and says, "Please Your Holiness, can you help me with my hearing?"

The Pope then placed his hands over Trump's ears and blessed him.

"Well that's all well and go...

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