Is it "Happy Impeachment" or "Merry Impeachment"?

I don't want to offend anyone.



Treason's Greetings and Impeach Navidad!

I was shocked when the Republicans wouldn’t vote to convict Trump on his second impeachment.

The first time sure, they always insist a baby is carried to full term.

The second one however, shocking as they actually took care of the baby afterwards.

Trump has more impeachments than he does social media accounts.

This joke will never get old, ever.

If Trump wanted to avoid impeachment...

...he should’ve falsely claimed there were WMDs in Iraq

The impeachment of Trump will be a stain on his legacy

Whereas the impeachment of Clinton was the legacy of his stain.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Donald Trump found out about impeachment tonight coming after him.

Donald Trump: "Was she the stripper from Georgia? Write her a check."

I don’t understand why everyone is getting so excited about Trump’s impeachment

It’s not like it’s unpresidented

Why is Donald Trump happy about the impeachment result?

Because it’s the first time he’s gotten the most votes.

Why aren't all the Trump supporters out having a rally against his impeachment?

Their white sheets aren't clean from the last rally yet

An Impeachment hearing walks into a bar..........

But with no witnesses or evidence we don't know what was ordered, or what the bartender said, so.....no punchline.

A country going through an impeachment...

May be unpresidented.

I have to say after watching the impeachment voting...

This has to be the most interesting season of the apprentice yet!

Alan Dershowitz privately counselled Senate Republicans on how to handle the articles of impeachment for Donald Trump

He said “If you’re not Mitt, you must acquit.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

You guys hear that Trump’s not going to participate in his impeachment inquiry?

I heard he got phone spurs.


(Credit to Colbert)

In the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins', my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon...

Her choices, as she told me, were 'ImPeachments & Cream' and 'Watermelon-Gate' (as a sorbet).



Both were denied.

This is actually true.

How much does presidential impeachment insurance cost?

Just one Pence

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The difference between Clinton impeachment and Trump impeachment:

Clinton's started with a blowjob, Trump's ended with a blowjob.

“You were able to escape the draft, Become President and now you’re trying to avoid impeachment. How?”

“I ran”

I can see why evangelicals have backed Trump even through impeachment.

All three of his marriages have lasted longer then his presidency.

Trump Hired Bill Clinton's Impeachment lawyer!

Just made me laugh more than many jokes i found here

President Trump just compared impeachment to being lynched.

If you are expecting an apology he will leave you hanging.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If there is one thing that democrats and republicans can agree on during this impeachment hearing...

...it's that "quid pro quo" is really fucking fun to say!

In honor of Trump's last night as president, tonight I'll be making...

Lame Duck A L'Orange, and for dessert, ImPEACHment Cobbler.

Hey Homer, did you hear about the Impeachment?

Mmmmm peach mint (drool noises)

What's rarer that a double rainbow

Double impeachment

What's the nightmare of a president who is allergic to stone fruit?

Impeachment

I know the pandemic is causing people to struggle financially, but honestly, I'm making a fortune.

I rent out bookcases to be installed behind everyone doing a TV interview about either Covid or the Impeachment process.

Why does Trump go bananas on the media?

Because they are trying to orange his impeachment.

Joke Archeology -- who's heard an older version of this often recycled joke?

I heard this one the first time back in the early 70's.

Richard Nixon and Henry Kissinger were giving a young hippie hitchhiker a ride home in Air Force One from the Camp David Area, they started having engine trouble, unfortunately there were only four parachutes and the drafted pilots ju...

A guy is driving past the White House....

...and he sees that the road is blocked, but they are letting cars through one at a time. There are crowds on the sidewalk, shouting, but he can't hear what's being said.

Finally he gets to the roadblock, and rolls down his window. "What's going on?" he asks.

"Donald Trump has had ...

There have been two presidential impeachments in the history of the United States...

One involved a Johnson from the south and some violations relating to a staff member and the other was the 1868 impeachment of Andrew Johnson.

I'll never forget my grandpa's last words.

Find yourself a woman who holds you as tight as Nancy Pelosi holds her impeachment articles

So this farmer named Juan wants to run for city council.

He notices his small town is going downhill and wants to make a difference. He asks his wife what his slogan should be and she says: "Well you don't beat me, the kids, or your cow, so use that."

So Juan runs for city council using the slogan: "I don't beat my wife, I don't beat my kids, I don...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My name is Juan

Juan was the custodian at a local grade school. Everyone loved Juan. He was so sweet and compassionate with the kids and did a wonderful job. One day the principal came up to Juan and said:

“You know Juan, you care about this school so much, maybe you should run for the board of education”...

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