Sand Jokes - 43 Hilarious Sand Jokes

A guy rides his motorcycle through the border from Spain to France every week carrying two bags of sand.

The border guard searched the bags every time, but never found anything, so he had to let him through. The guard has his last day at work before retiring and the guy comes to the border again, carrying his two bags of sand. The guard says "look, man, it's my last day, I'm not going to bust you. You...

Sand trap

An octogenarian who was an avid golfer moved to a new town and joined the local Country Club. He went to the Club for the first time to play but was told that there wasn't anybody he could play with because they were already out on the course.

He repeated several times that he really wanted ...

What do you call a witch that only eats sand?

malnourished

What does a chemist say when his cat jumps into a pile of sand?

"Oh, you silicate"

How do you spell sand with only 3 letters?

S, A, and D.

Al, Ben, and Carl were stranded on a deserted island. One day Al found an old jar in the sand.

When the jar was opened, a genie came out and said to them, "You have freed me from my jar. For the rest of your time on this island, I am obligated to grant each of you one wish per year. But no wishing anyone, including yourself, off the island."

"In that case," said Al, "I wish for 365 boo...

My favourite childhood memory with my grandad is when i was building a sand castle with him...

...until my mom took the urn back.

I was stranded on an island with nothing but dark red grass, dark red sand, dark red trees everything was darkred.

"AHHH!" i yelled "I've been marooned!"

What do you call Nicki Minaj covered in sand?

A bad beach

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman goes through border control on her bicycle with two panniers filled with sand.

The border guard was suspicious about it and searched through the sand, but couldn’t find anything hidden, so he had to let her through.

The next day, the same woman passes by, again riding a bike with two bags brimming with bright sand. The guard was still unable to find anything. He felt so...

A baby camel asks his father, “Dad, why do we have a hump on our back?”

The dad replies, "So that we can store water in those."

He then asks, "Why do we have hooves then?"

The dad replies, "To prevent our feet from sinking in the sand."

After thinking this over, he then asks, "Then why do we have big eyelids?”

The dad rep...

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A cop sees a kid on the playground playing with poop and sand

He goes up to him and asks, "What are you doing, kid?". The kid says, "Making a policeman".
The cop loses his mind, gives the kid a beating and sends him home.
The next day the cop sees the same kid in the same spot, playing with poop and sand.
He asks, "What are you doing?". The kid ...

An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a Construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.

He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."

To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."

And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of s...

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My sister asked for me to bring her something hard to write on

I don't know why she became so mad. It's pretty hard to write on sand.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A young Arab boy asks his father “What is that strange hat you are wearing?”

The father said: "Why, my son, it is a 'chechia.' In the desert it protects our heads from the intense heat of the sun.”

"And what is the long flowing robe you are wearing?” asked the boy.

“Oh, my son!” exclaimed the father “It is very simple. This is a 'djbellah.' As I have told you, ...

sand paper walks into a bar

A piece of sandpaper walks into a bar. "What'll it be?" the bartender asks. "Oh, just something to take the edge off," the sandpaper replies.

Two Grains of Sand...

Two grains of sand go on a trip to the beach. One says to the other, “Jesus, it’s crowded here!”

Lost: bucket of sand, silt, and gravel

Great sedimental value.

(I can't take credit. Read it in a university paper 20 years ago.)

What did the ocean say to the sand?

Nothing — it just waved

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Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.

One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand f...

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A pirate walked into a bar.

He had a wooden leg, an eye patch and a hook for a hand. The bartender was curious. "How did you get that wooden leg?" he asked.

The pirate took a swig of ale. "'Twas a terrible sea battle. I stood bravely, directly facing 12 cannons.All they managed to hit was my leg."

The bartender s...

Where are you when you're eating an Eggo on the beach and you drop it in the sand?

San Diego

(thought of this myself, it's better spoken)

Sand dollars aren’t in Europe right?

Because if they were wouldn’t they be called sand euros

Sand Castle with Grandma

Today, I made sand castles with my grandma, but for some reason, everybody freaked out and called the cops on me.

Next time, I'll do it away from the cremation center.

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A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound.

The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.”

The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway an...

At the border, a man drives up on his bicycle with a sack on the luggage rack.

Customs officer: "Do you have something to declare?"

Man: "No."

Customs officer: "And what do you have in the sack?"

Man: "Sand."

During the check it turns out: actually sand.

Every day for a whole week the man comes with the bike and the sack on the luggage rack. ...

Why do lawsuits against sand and silt never make it to court?

Sediment always settles

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?

Cuatro cinco

Juan arrives at the Mexico/US border

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on a bicycle. He's got 2 large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"
"Sand," answered Juan.
The guard says, "We'll just see about that. Get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them ou...

A Mexican guy comes riding up to the border on his bicycle with two big sacks over his shoulders.

He tells the border guard that the sacks are full of sand, but the guard doesn’t believe him.

The guard detains the guy, and rips open the bags, but there’s nothing but sand.

He even has the sand analyzed, only to find that it really is just sand. And the sack is just a plain sack. <...

A teenager rolled up to the Mexican border on a bike...

He had a sack of sand in his hand.

"What's in the sack?" asked the border patrol officer

"Just sand," said the kid.

The officer didn't believe him, so he opened the sack up to find just sand. The officer dumped the sack empty and dug through it but he only saw sand. He even took...

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A Retired Jewish Man Is Walking On The Beach, When He Sees A Bottle In The Sand.

He picks it up and rubs it, and a genie comes out. The genie promises to grant him one wish.

The man pulls a crumpled map from his pocket and shows it to the genie. He says, "Peace in the Middle East, that's my wish."

The genie studies the map, but looks looks concerned. He hands the...

What do you call a bunch of lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?

Not enough sand.

Why do they call it kinetic sand?

Because it lacks potential

Recess and cookies

An elementary teacher asks her students what they did during recess.

Teacher: Johnny what did you do doing recess?

Johnny: I played in the sandbox.

Teacher: Okay, if you can write the word "sand" on the board, you get a cookie.

Johnny writes "sand" and gets his cookie....

Why was the sand wet?

because the seaweed

I want a sand timer with ground spices instead of sand

That way when it starts to run out I can say, "Oh no, I'm running out of Thyme!"

Popcorn, ice, sand, water

is my bucket list. What's yours?

What do you ask a lawyer buried alive up to his neck in sand?

"Run out of sand, did they?"

Stupid kid joke: Why was the sand at the beach wet?

Because the sea wee'd.

Women are like sand...

fun to play with only when wet.

A Polish guy finds a lamp buried in the sand

As per usual, a genie comes out and offers him three wishes.

The Polish guy things for a moment and says, "I wish for all of Ghengis Khan's armies to go rampaging across the steppes to the border of Poland, then turn around and go home."

"All right," the genie says, "Done. What's your ...

Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea-weed.

*First joke my 4 year old son learnt

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