A man was sunbathing naked at the beach.

For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates.


A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman, you'd lift your hat".


He raised an eyebrow and replied, "if you weren't so ugly, it would lift itself".

An Italian and a polish guy are walking down the beach...

An Italian and a polish guy are walking down the beach wearing Speedo’s. While walking they get a lot of attention from women, but it seems that all the women are interested in the Italian guy!

After the day was over the guys are hanging out and the polish guy asks, “Ok you have to tell me w...

My grandfather killed six Germans at Normandy beach.

Not as heroic as it sounds, though, he just did it last week.

Who's the most popular man at the nudist beach?

The one who can carry two cups of coffee and six donuts.

I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn't swim.

The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.

How would you spot a blind man at a nude beach?

It's not hard

What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?

Get out of my sun.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I walked up to a girl with no arms or legs at the beach, she was crying.

I asked her why she was crying and she said, "I have never been hugged before".

So I crouched down and gave her a hug, she was still crying so I asked why she was still crying.

"I have never been kissed before", she said. So I leaned in and gave her a big ol' kiss.

She was STILL...

A man is trying to pickup a woman at the beach.

And he’s not having too much luck. He sees that the lifeguard is very successful with charming the ladies, so he goes up to the lifeguard and asks, “what’s your secret?”

The lifeguard takes pity on him, so he tells him, “look, don’t tell anyone, but I take a potato and place it into my swimsu...

A German lifesaver carries a dog that nearly drowned from the beach...

He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.

The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.

"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"

"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "...

A man and his wife just bought a new beach house with their lottery winnings.

At the wife's insistence, they start planning a lavish party to get to know their new neighbors, and the husband is put in charge of securing catering. He orders all the other food she wants for the menu, but unfortunately he forgets the escargot, and by the time he realizes it's too late. He figure...

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A mother and father took their 6-year-old son to a nude beach.

As the boy walked along the beach, he noticed that some of the ladies had boobs bigger than his mother's, and asked her why. She told her son, "The bigger they are the dumber the person is." The boy pleased with the answer, goes to play in the ocean but returns to tell his mother that many of the m...

Two Israelis are sitting on the beach in Tel Aviv, reading.

One has got a quality newspaper, the other an antisemitic rag. "Why on earth are you reading that?" one asks. "I used to read a quality paper like you," the other sighs, "but I couldn't handle it any more – the rockets from Gaza and Hezbollah getting stronger every day and the Iranian nuclear progra...

A man was naked on the beach

He sat there sunbathing, for the sake of civility and to protect them from being sunburnt, he had a hat on his private parts.

A women came by and smirked “If you were a gentleman you would lift your hat”

He replied “If you weren’t so ugly it would lift itself”

I was on a beach once, roasting a seagull over a small fire

I heard footsteps on the rocks, and looked up to see a Conservation Officer approaching.

"Hey there, bud, whatcha cookin' there?"

I turned the bird slowly on its stick, then looked at the pile of feathers. "Western Gull, I think."

The officer widened his eyes, "Oh, ya can't be e...

A man walking along the beach found a bottle

When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared. "I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But there is one condition. I am a lawyer's genie. That means that for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world gets the wish as well--only double."

The man thought about this for...

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Two men with Alzheimer's at the beach

​

They're peckish and want some food.

The first man, Bob, says “Carl, do you want to buy us a couple of ice creams?”

Carl: Sure what do you want?

Bob: vanilla ice cream in a cone, a flake and chocolate sauce

Carl: Ok, I’ll be back now.

Carl walks ...

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Husband and wife are sunbathing at a nudist beach... NSFW

When suddenly a wasp flies into the wife's vagina. She screams in terror, and frantically tells her husband what happened. He scoops her into his arms, throws her into the car and speeds to the hospital.

At the hospital the doctor tries a few different ways to remove the wasp with each one fa...

A guy is at the beach walking down and is trying to pick up girls but isn’t having any luck.

So he asks the lifeguard for advice. Lifeguard says “go to the swim shop and buy a speedo 2 sizes too small, then go to the store and buy a potato and put it in there, works every time” so the guy does so and starts strutting his stuff down the beach and he is getting looks from EVERYONE, but they’r...

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A mama shark and a her pup were swimming by a beach

The pup turnes to its mother and said "Mom, I'm hungry".

"Just find some swimmer, swim a couple laps around him, and dig in, child", she replies.

The pup is impatient and says "But swimming laps takes so long! I'm just going to dig in instead".

"Go ahead, but don't come crying t...

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A woman with no arms and no legs is laying on the beach...

A woman with no arms and no legs is laying on the beach sobbing.

A man walks by and asks “why are you crying?”

Woman: Well... I’m crying because I have no arms or legs and I’ve never been hugged before..

Man: That’s terrible! I’ll give you a hug.

He gives her a hug an...

There's this man walking along a beach and find's a lamp washed up on the shore

He picks up the lamp and a genie pops out.

The genie says you have 3 wishes. But whatever you wish for, your ex wife will get double.

So the man thinks and get says "One million Dollars" and just like that a big bag appears with money inside of it. Then the man hears someone cheering ...

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The girl with no arms or legs at the beach

A guy was with his buddies on the beach, and went back to his cooler to get a beer. On the way he saw a girl with no arms or legs crying, when he asked why, she said “I’ve never been hugged”. The gentleman hugged her, then grabbed his beer and went back to his friends. When his beer ran out, he went...

A man dies, and wakes up on a beach.

There is nice weather, hot girls playing beach volleyball, barbeques everywhere, laughter and joy. Suddenly, Satan comes up to him.
"Welcome to hell. Enjoy yourself, have a drink, have a hamburger and check out the area. If you need anything or have a question, feel free to ask me", he says. ...

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Three school teachers go to a nude beach.

The math teacher, the history teacher, and the logics teacher. Suddenly, the female principal goes by them. So the math and history teachers put their newspapers on their private parts, while the logics teacher puts it on his face. After the principal leaves, the first two ask the logics teacher why...

I saw a guy at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed.

I knew that shark wasn't going to help him

What does a guy with two left feet wears to the beach?

Flip flips

A few years ago I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.

It was a flop.

One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp.

He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.

Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you ...

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So I was walking along the beach and came a cross a women with no arms and legs, crying....

I asked her, what was wrong,
she replied, well, I’ve never been hugged by a man before....
So I have her a hug
She’s still crying, again I ask her what was wrong
She replied, I’ve never been kissed by a man before...
So I kissed her
And now she’s crying a little less but still...

A man is walking along the beach, when he trips over something, looks down and sees an old bottle. He picks it up and out pops a genie. "I will give you one wish and only one. What will it be?" The man thinks and thinks...

He lives in California and really loves to visit Hawaii, but he despises flying, so he asks the genie.

"I want a bridge from California to Hawaii, over the Pacific ocean."

The genie looks at him for a bit.

He says, "No, no, no. Sorry, but a bridge over the Pacific? That is too ...

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A man walking down the beach heard a woman crying... (NSFW)

He walks down to investigate. At he gets closer he sees it's the outline of a blonde woman sitting in a beach chair near the water. He walks up behind her about to ask her what the matter was. Before he says anything, he notices that she doesn't have any arms or legs. Thinking it's a bit weird, he s...

Donald Trump, Vladimr Putin and Angela Merkel take a walk on the Beach.

Seeing the great body of water, Mr Trump felt the need to reassure the two others of his country's militaristic superiority.

"Folks, I can tell you, our Navy submarines, are so big and so good, would you believe it, they can remain submerged from the moment they leave the port, to the day the...

A man was walking along a California beach and stumbled across an old lamp.

He picked it up and rubbed it and out popped a genie.

The genie said, "OK. You released me from the lamp, blah blah blah. This is the fourth time this month and I'm getting a little sick of these wishes so you can forget about three. You only get one wish!"

The man sat and thought ab...

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Three men are walking on the beach.

They come across a strange looking vase in the sand and one of them tries to pick it up. However it is very brittle and crushes to dust as soon as it is touched, and a genie pops out.

"I don't normally grant wishes to more than one person, but I'll make an exception," the genie says. "Each of...

Why cant you call anybody while at the beach?

Because the shell service was so bad.

What do yo call a polar bear at the beach?

Lost

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is walking down the beach...

...and he sees this woman there lying on a beach towel, all on her own.

As he gets closer, he notices that she doesn't have any arms or legs, and that she is crying. Out of slight pity he approaches her.

"Excuse me" the man says, "are you ok?"

"No!" The woman replied, "all my fr...

An old man boards a plane to Paris.

He is very excited to visit and is talking with the other passengers. Before takeoff, there is a dispute as to whether a French family has found their seats correctly or not. In an attempt to find their seats, the stewardess asks the people around them for their tickets. Eventually, she reaches the ...

A family goes to the beach...

They had their kid with them and being curious he notices ladies with the different breast sizes and what not and asks. "Mom, dad, how come some are small like mommy's and others are really big?" The father, to make his wife feel a bit better goes "the bigger they are the dumber the person is son".....

What do you call a waffle on a California beach?

A Sandy Eggo. - Compliments of my cousin's 6 year old daughter (She says "Hi" by the way).

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

I saw a bloke at the beach with a steering wheel on his Willy

I said ‘mate, you know you’ve got a steering wheel on your knob’

He said ‘yeah, it’s driving me nuts’

My wife asked me if I knew how to spot a fake beach

Faux shore

I don't get why girls wear bikinis at the beach.

They've got nothing to hide.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A very fit, attractive man is jogging along the beach one morning...

...and he comes across a old, handicapped woman in a wheelchair, sobbing.


The man stops, and with concern in his voice, politely asks the woman what’s the matter.


She waves him off, but he insists. He wants to help.


“Well, it’s just that I’m an old woman in a whee...

A German friend told me this one. A couple went to an exotic island for a vacation.

They booked at a local hotel. Inside, there was a native waiter, who seemed very eager but had a strong accent.

Everything was fine until the couple went down for dinner. The girlfriend had dropped her fork. The waiter immediately saw this and asked them, "Do you want a f\*ck?"

The cou...

What do you call a waffle rolling down a California beach?

A sandy eggo.

A pothead goes to the beach.

It's pretty obvious that he's been smoking earlier that day.
He gets to the beach and it's a quiet day. He notices, however that there are all manner of sea birds squawking and flying around like crazy. They're diving in and out of the water and pestering the few people who were out that day. He ...

A man is lying on a nudist beach wearing only a hat covering his crotch

When all of a sudden a woman passes by who remarks, "If you were even the tiniest bit of a gentleman, you would lift and tip your hat to a lady."
He replies, "If you were even the teensiest bit of a woman, the hat would lift by itself."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A recently widowed Jewish lady named Sarah, was sitting on a beach towel. She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book...

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. "Hello, sir, how are you?"

"Fine, thank you." he responded, and turned back to his book.

"I love the beach. Do you come here often?" she asked.

"First time since my wife passed away last year." he replied and again tur...

I have been banned from attending the local nudist beach.

Apparently I was inappropriately dressed.

Where are you when you take your waffle to the beach?

San Diego!

The penguin joke (my favorite joke)

One day a Cop pulls a van over and when he walks up to the window he sees ten penguins in the back.

The cop asks the man "are those your penguins?"

The man Says "yes, they are my pets."

The cop replies to the man "You need to take them to the zoo right now."

So the man ag...

A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach...

A man walks up to a woman at a nude beach.

"Hi, my name is Ed." he says.

"What's it short for?" she asks.

Thoughtful, he looks down a moment, before answering,

"I dunno, it's always been like that."

After Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt went swimming at the beach one day and never returned...

...we named a public swimming pool after him.

(true story)

While in California, I wanted to enjoy breakfast at Mission Beach and some guy just threw my waffle on the ground.

I hate sandy Eggo.

Two guys, Fred and Bob, liked to hang out at the beach, trying to meet girls. Bob always got dates, but Fred kept striking out.

One day, Fred took Bob aside and asked him, “What’s your secret?”

Bob grinned and said, “All I do is put a potato in my shorts.” Fred nodded and thanked him for the tip.

The next day, Bob showed up and watched the girls running away from Fred, leaving him standing there, looking confus...

A Jewish Grandmother was at the beach...

A Jewish grandmother and her grandson are at the beach. He is playing in the water; she is standing on the shore not wanting to get her feet wet. Suddenly, a huge wave appears from nowhere and crashes directly onto the spot where the boy is wading. The water recedes and the boy is no longer there. H...

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My Wife : When i said bring me something back from the beach I meant like a shell or something.

Me : [trying to restrain a Seagull] FUCKIN SAY THAT THEN!!

Bill Gates is walking on his private beach of his villa...

...and finds an old bottle in the sand. He opens it and a genie appears. The genie euphorically says: "Thanks for the rescue, Master, you have one wish."
Gates does not think long and says: "Here is a map with all the crisis areas of the earth. There should be peace everywhere." The ghost takes t...

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A Woman is Crying on the Beach

A man is on his morning stroll down the beach and sees a woman sitting in her wheelchair with no arms or legs, and she was crying. "Ma'am, why are you crying?" "I've never been hugged by a man before." He gives her a hug, she smiles, and he continues on his stroll.
The next day, he is walkin...

My brother was always the smart one that everyone loved. I was the dumb kid. While I sold drugs down by the beach, he became a doctor in applied maths.

But even so, he's still my brother. I'll never stop lending him money when he needs it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man walks up to a topless girl on the beach. 'can I tell you a joke about my dick? No wait, it's to long.' The girl looks at him and replies: 'Want to hear a joke about my vagina?'

'No wait, you'll never get it.'

Stalking is when two people go for a long romantic walk on the beach together

and only one of them knows about it.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is walking along a beach, suddenly he hears a booming voice from the heavens.

"DIG!" says the voice. The man looks around, a little confused. "DIG!" Booms the voice again. The man thinks what the fuck and starts digging at the sand in front of him. Suddenly he hits a wooden box. He picks it up and the voice shouts "OPEN!" He opens it to see hundreds of gold coins. He's a litt...

Who is the most popular guy at the nudist beach ?

The guy who can carry 2 cups of coffee and a dozen doughnuts.

Who is the most popular girl ?
The one that can eat the last doughnut. . .

A man is struggling to pick up women at the Beach

[short] He consults his friend, who tells him, “Dude, women are into the bulge! Put a potato in your bathing suit, and the ladies will be flocking to you!”

After trying it out a few days later, he finds his friend on the beach, and angrily asks, “What the hell am I doing wrong? The ladie...

I walked up and down the beach all day looking for the perfect seashell, and I found it

It was littorally the best

I took my wife to the beach today and now she’s mad at me. I thought she wanted to watch me drop frozen waffles along the shore and trick a bunch of communists into eating them.

After all, I could’ve sworn she said her dream was to see the sandy Eggo commie con.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A woman with no arms and legs was crying on a beach..

She's lying there crying when a nice gentleman is jogging by and notices her crying. He says " Excuse me ma'am why are you crying?" She replies with " I've never been hugged before." So the gentleman gives her a hug and wishes her the best and jogs off.

A short while passes by before she star...

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So theres three guys walking on a beach, a white man, a black man, and a mexican man.

The three men find a magic lamp, and upon rubbing it a genie appears.

Genie: Thank you for saving me from that lamp, as a symbol of my gratitude I will grant each of you one wish.

Black man: I wish for all my African brothers and sisters to be home in African and wealthy beyond their ...

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A guy is walking along the beach minding his own business

When he encounters a crying woman with no arms or legs.

His curiosity gets the best of him and he walks over and asks her why she's crying.

"I've never been hugged", responds the woman.

The man ponders for a bit and says "fuck it" and he picks her up, hugs her, sets her down and...

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A KKK member finds a magic lamp on the beach...

He rubs it and a Black genie pops out. The genie looks at the man and says "damn, this is pretty fucked up. I'll tell you what. I'll give you three wishes, but I'm also going to grant your wish to every black person in the world and double it."

"Fair enough" says the KKK member. "I wish f...

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A gentle man without any arms and without any legs is sat on a beach.........

A gentle man without any arms and without any legs is sat on a beach, when he spots three playboy bunnies walking by him. They all spot him and feel bad for him so they try to cheer him up. The first playboy bunny walks up to him and says;

"Have you ever been hugged?"

The man shakes...

Last night, I dreamt of a nice walk on a beautiful sandy beach

I guess that's why I found footprints in my cat's litterbox the next morning.

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In Nude Beach

Two parents take their son on a vacation to a nude beach.

The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says..."Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!"

The mom says..."the bigger the...

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An 18 year old Italian girl tells her mom that she has missed her period for two months.

Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Fer...

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A man finds a lamp on the beach...

A man finds a lamp on the beach... He picks it up and rubs it to see if a genie pops out of it. The genie gives the usual speech, "I will grant thee 3 wishes."

The man starts listing his desires. "Oh my God, a real genie! Uh, ok, I want a huge mansion!"

"l have granted thee a mansion...

I had plans to go to the beach today, but the skies are cloudy and it is raining

It's really irrigating.

A man is walking along the beach with his wife when he stumbles upon an oil lamp poking from the sand...

Intrigued, the man picks it up and begins to rub the sand off it. To his surprise, a genie emerges from the lamp!

The genie says in a mighty voice, "As a reward for releasing me, I shall grant you three wishes. However, your wife shall receive double of what you ask for."

Without hesit...

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Why is a womans body like a day at the beach?

It's the only place where the snack bar is right next to the shithouse!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man is walking down an empty beach...

Suddenly he hears someone crying in the distance.
He finds a woman, with no arms and no legs, sitting alone in the sand and crying.

“Why are you here crying by your self miss?” He asks.

“Well, I’ve been this way my whole life and... I’ve never been kissed by a man!”

“I’ll kis...

A Jew, an African-American, and a redneck are walking along a beach....

... when they come across a lantern. They all grab it and as they are wrestling over it a genie pops out. He says, "This is unusual. Normally I give one person three wishes, but all three of you are holding my lantern. What I'll do is grant each of you one wish."

The Jewish guy steps forward ...

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Girl is walking along a beach.

She sees a man with no arms and no legs chilling by the water. As she passes him, he begins to cry. She walks over to him.

"What's wrong", she asks.

He replies, "I'm 24, I've got no arms and no legs, and I've never been hugged."

She considers it, bends down, gives him a hug and...

On my recent trip to Kenya, I booked a hotel within walking distance of the beach.

You can’t imagine how far the Kenyans would walk.

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A boy on a nudist beach...

... asks his dad,why some men have bigger willies than others. Dad replies: "We smarter men have smaller ones, stupid guys have bigger ones...".
After a while the boy runs up to dad and says: "Daddy, I just saw mommy talking to the stupidest guy on the beach and the more they talked, the stupide...

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2 Dinosaurs were sat on a beach watching as a ship sailed into the sunset

One dinosaur turns to the other and says "That Noah's a bit of a twat isn't he."

How can you tell Ronald McDonald at a nude beach?

He’s the one with the sesame seed buns.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A dad and his daughter went to a nudist beach

Once there the daughter is surprised when she sees his dick and asks "Daddy, what's that?"
A bit taken back by the question he answers, "oh, that's just a swan nesting on it's two eggs".

Happy with that explanation the kid starts playing at the beach while the father lays in the sun.
...

[NSFW] How can you spot someone who’s suffering from ED on a nude beach?

It isn’t hard.....

Just Been Watching The Ladies Beach Volley Ball And There Has Already Been A Bad Wrist Injury,

I Should Be Okay By The Morning Though.

A man decided to sunbathe on the beach.

He took all of his clothes off, except that he covered his private parts with a hat to prevent a sunburn. As he's sunbathing, a woman walks past him. She looks at the man and snidely remarks:

"A true gentleman would always tip his hat for a lady."

To which the man replies:

"Ma'a...

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A walk on the beach

On my first (and so far only) visit to Hawaii, I was staying at a beautiful little cottage outside Hilo. There's a neat little place called Uncle's Awa Club, where they hold a farmer's market, live music, food of all kinds... Right in the lava zone, very remote.

I'd read about one of the boot...

A little boy is walking along the beach when he sees a pirate.

Excited, he runs up to the pirate and says "Mr Pirate! How did you get that peg leg?"

The pirate says "Argh, one day me ship was in a battle on the high seas, and a cannonball came over and lopped me off at the knee. Tis the life of a pirate."

The kid's eyes get really big, and he sa...

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day.

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that’s three wishes in total," says the Genie. The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad’s a fisherman,...

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Three guys are walking on the beach...

Three guys are walking on the beach. There's a redneck with two first names named Billy Bob, a true hillbilly descended from first cousins and there's a Mexican guy named Hector and there's a good 50/50 chance his last name is Lopez or Gomez or something and then there's a black guy named Jamal who ...

A man walking along the beach picks up a gienie bottle.

He rubs it off and a gienie comes out.
The gienie said, "You have awoken me from my slumber. In return, I will give you 1 wish."
The man said, "Oh my God... Wait. 1 wish? Don't I get 3?"
"Dude, I've been stuck in a bottle for 2000 years! Cut me some slack! What is your wish?"
"So...I hav...

Why was the beach wet?

Because the sea weed

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Scarlett Johansson and some guy were the only survivors of a shipwreck.

They didn't know each other before the shipwreck, but he did know who she was...

At the beginning it was hard, but as time passed, this guy learnt how to provide food and shelter, he started taking care of her, and eventually she started caring about him... after all, there wasn't anybody els...

A man is sunbathing on a nude beach

To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important organ with a hat.

A woman passes by and notices the hat.

She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."

The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Six Lessons of Life

**Lesson 1:**

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbour. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll give y...

Why did the man decide to go to the optometrist before trying ecstasy since he wasn't planning on going to the beach?

Eye before E except after Sea.

Two retired business men sitting on a beach.

Mike: Nice to meet you. I'm a retired businessman. When my store burned down, rather than rebuilding I took the insurance money and retired here.

John: You know, I'm a retired businessman, too. When a flood washed away my store I took the insurance money and retired here, too.

Mike is...

I got a sunburn on the beach yesterday whilst reading about trigonometry.

...you should see my tan lines today

A mother is watching her son play on the beach

when a huge wave comes and takes him into the waters. She looks up and pleads, "Please God, save my son! He means so much to me. Please bring him back."
A couple of seconds later, another huge wave comes and washes the boy back onto the sand, good as new. She looks back up to the sky and says:...

On vacation this summer my wife took an early morning walk on the beach while the kids and I ate breakfast.

When my wife got back she said there was a beached whale and we needed to see it. My son said "well it's not beached anymore, you're standing right there."

Worst son-burn ever.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A man from Miami Beach travels to the Middle East and finds camels so fascinating that he decides to buy one and bring it back home with him.

For the next month, he rides the camel all over the city. The next day when goes to get the camel, he finds that it is has been stolen.

He goes to the police department to report it stolen. The desk sergeant asks him to describe the camel.

He says incredulously, "What do you mean, de...

A guy came up to us on the beach in Ensenada the other day and said in English, “Did you hear about the kidnapping a few minutes ago? It happened right over there...”

“The kid was fine though. They just woke him up.”

It took me about eight seconds to get it...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

There once was a girl with no arms and no legs crying on a beach...

One day, an old man came in his fancy convertible and noticed the girl crying on the beach. He parks his car next to her and gets out, asking why she is crying.

"Sir, I'm crying because I've never been kissed before," explains the girl.

So, the man picks her up and plants her a big kis...