3 blondes are lost in the desert

They come across a river that they have to get over, but it's swarming with crocodiles.

Luckily, a genie just happened to pass by on his flying carpet. He said: "Ah, you are lucky! As I have found you here, I will grant each of you one wish."

The first blonde wished she was an excellen...

While wandering in the desert I came across a lamp

When I rubbed it a Genie popped out.


Genie: You have released me from my prison, in return I shall grant you three wishes.

Me: I've seen this before. Whatever I wish for will come back and bite me in some way won't it?

Genie: I promise that won't happen. I'm so sure it w...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy gets lost in the desert, he has food, water and his camel but no idea where he is.

As the days go by he gets hornier and hornier - he wants to fuck badly. So he tries to mount the camel but every time he is almost in, the camel pulls away. Day after day he tries, with the same result.



One day he comes across an airplane that's just crashed, the only survivor is a b...

A man is travelling down a desert road when he sees a sign saying "SPEED LIMIT 40". He lowers his speed to 40 MPH.

Half an hour later, he sees one with the words "SPEED LIMIT 20", so he goes down to 20 MPH.

Another half an hour passes, and he sees a sign with the words "SPEED LIMIT 10". Surprised, he slows down to 10 MPH.

After an hour, he sees a sign saying "WELCOME TO SPEED LIMIT!".

Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin were training for their moon mission in the moonlike deserts of the Western United States, where they had an encounter with an old Native American man.

The man asked what they were doing in the desert. They replied that they were going to travel to the moon, and explore it soon. When the old man heard that, he fell silent and pondered for a few moments, then asked the astronauts for a favor.

"What do you want?" the astronauts asked.

"...

2 christians were stranded in a desert.

The first was called John and the second was called Jack. They were extremely hungry and thirsty.

In the distance, they saw a mosque gleaming in the middle of no where.

John suggested to go and pay the mosque's Imam a visit and ask for some food and water. Jack agreed but suggested to ...

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island

One day a man, who had been stranded on a desert island for over ten years sees an unusual speck on the horizon. "It's certainly not a ship", he thinks to himself. As the speck gets closer and closer he begins to rule out the possibilities of a small boat, then even a raft. Suddenly, emerging from t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara Desert on a camel.

On the third day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their situation. After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. 'Well, Sister, this looks pretty grim.'

'I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we ca...

There were two white christian men, John and Mike, whose plane crashed into a desert. Luckily they survived unharmed. As they traveled through the hot desert looking for food and water, they gave up and sat down, thinking of what to do.

As the dust in the air settled, they suddenly could view a mosque ahead. They became very hopeful. But then John said ''Muslims are there. They might help us if we say we are Muslim.'' Then Mike said ''No way, I won't say I'm Muslim, I'm gonna be honest''.

So John and Mike went to the Mosque ...

Fortunately the California earthquakes were a bit out in the desert so not many people got hurt.

But a few snakes were rattled.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is driving through the desert when suddenly his car breaks down

He has no idea how to fix it and is in the middle of nowhere. Under the scorching heat of the sun, hours pass by and his hopes start fading away.

All of a sudden, a grey horse appears from nowhere.

\- What's up, pal? says the horse. Can I help you?

The man is baffled. Where is ...

A man was offroading in the desert.

He was driving over the dunes and past the shrubs and bushes that dotted the landscape, when a sandstorm started blowing over. He figured he'd be fine, but the sand made his engine lock up.

After it had passed, he went out in search for help. The storm disoriented him and blew away his car tr...

A Blonde, A Redhead, And A Brunette Are Lost In The Desert…

They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.

The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.

The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.

The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends...

A man and his two friends are out in the desert.

A man and his two friends are out in the desert. They had been planning this for a while so they all made sure they brought something to help them cool off. The first guy brought a water bottle so he could pour the water over himself to cool down. They all thought this a was a smart idea. The second...

There were three men driving across the desert in a Cadillac.

All of a sudden, the car just stops, so they all get out and start walking. After a little bit, Guy 1 runs back to where the car was left and returns with the hood of the car.

The other two ask, “Why’d you do that?”
Guy 1: “Well, we can hold this over our heads so we don’t overheat!”
Gu...

A war veteran is lost in the rural deserts of Afghanistan.

A war veteran is lost in the rural deserts of Afghanistan, eager for just a single drink of water. As he's roaming through the country's rugged terrain, he spots in the distance what appears to be a vendor running a small stand. Figuring that there is no one else in the vicinity, he decides to go to...

Three men are lost in the desert with no supplies, when the devil appears before them.

The devil looks at their skin and bones, their cracked lips, and says, “I see you’re in a bit of a rough spot. I can help you - let’s play a little game. You each get one chance to name a task I can’t do. If you succeed, I’ll save you.”

The first man immediately replies, “I bet you can’t buil...

Carruthers and Blenkinsop have been lost in the desert for many days, and they just finished the last of their water that morning.

Blenkinsop says "Carruthers, old chap, to be perfectly honest it looks like we're finished," and Carruthers says "You're probably right, old fellow, but never say die, what? You never know what's over the next sand-dune."

Prophetic words, for over the next sand dune they spy what appears to b...

Three ropes are lost in the desert.

The group of ropes find a town, and find the bar. They run in and ask for water.
Ropes: can we have some water!?
Bar keep: didn't ya see the sign, no ropes! Get out!
And the bar keep kicks them out. The first rope has an idea: what if two of us stack up so that we look like a pers...

An American and a Chinese man are stranded on a desert island

"We need to work together,", the american said.

"Ok,", he continued. "I will make shelter, while you get supplies."

"Ok", the chinese man answered before walking further in on the island.

Two days went by, and the american had built shelter. He was starting to starve, and as the...

3 men are stranded on a desert island...

They wander around and find a magic lamp, from which a genie appears.

The genie offers to grant each man one wish.

The first man wishes for a boat so he can leave. *poof* The man is rewarded and he makes his getaway.

The second man wishes for a helicopter so he can leave. *poof...

An African Lumberjack

An African lumberjack is interviewing for a job at a major logging company. The foreman decides to take a practical route and hands the lumberjack an axe.

"Take a couple swings at that tree over there." The foreman said.

The lumberjack walks over to the tree and fells it in a single ch...

Three men are walking in the desert

Three men are walking in a desert when they stumble across a wizard next to a magical slide
‘Slide down this ride shout out the name of your favorite drink’ the wizard commands

The three men question his logic but never the less the first man climbs to the top of the slide and begins t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My sex life is like the Sahara desert.

Just two palms, no dates.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy was stranded on a desert island with Heidi Klum...

Initially, he played it cool, not making any moves on her for several weeks. Finally, he asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Heidi was game and a very nice sexual relationship began. After several months, the guy approached Heidi and said,...

Two Americans were walking in the Arabian desert one morning, when they come across a mosque.

They hadn't had food or water for days, and thought maybe the people in the mosque would give them some.

"Ok, Joe, we will tell these people we are Muslims, and maybe they will give us some food and something to drink. You'll be Hassan, and I'll be Muhammed", said Roger.

"No way, man. ...

A penguin is driving through the desert...

He's cruising down a long stretch of highway when all of a sudden his car starts billowing smoke out from under the hood. The car starts sputtering, and being so far from home and in such heat, he starts to worry about his own safety. Luckily, as his car starts to come to a halt, he notices a gas st...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pedro and Juan are stranded in the desert... (My favourite joke, [LONG])

After a day of walking, staggering, then crawling, they are thirsty, starving, and near death. They are about to give up when Juan exclaims,

“Pedro, look! At thee bottom of the dune... it’s an Oasis!”

Pedro struggles to bring his head up to look. “Juan... I think so my friend. I think...

There's this man stranded in the desert

He has been dehydrated for over 2 days, and almost gives up all hope, when he sees a tent, with people!

He sums up the strength to get there, when the man running the tent sees him.

"Hello do you need anything?"

"Water, I need Water"

"Well, I'm sorry sir, but we only sell...

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are in a desert

The three friends have been walking for ages and ages, all three think they're going to die there.

Eventually, the Englishman finds a lamp, and he gives it a rub.

A genie pops out and says "each of you can have one wish".

"I want to go home!" the Englishman says, poofing away f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 man are lost in the desert.

Very far away they see a convent.
They knock on the door and a old nun shows up.

One man asks: Please help us we're lost and very thirsty.

Nun: Ok I'll help you but this is a convent, there can't be any males here so well have to remove your penis.

Man: Is there any other w...

A guy is crawling through the desert, about to die of thirst and he comes across a magic talking snake...

The snake tells the guy his name is Nate and he'll happily grant him three wishes, so the guy asks for water. Nate slaps his tail on the ground and a gallon of fresh, pure water appears, which the guy proceeds to drink.

"What's your second wish?" Nate asks. The guy thinks for a second and say...

Three men are stranded in the desert and find a genie lamp

My dad has told me this joke when I was younger and I thought that I’d just post it here

They are all starving and dehydrated in the hot desert. Pablo the Mexican walks up to the genie lamp and rubs it...

Genie: Pablo the Mexican, I will grant you one wish and one wish only! Choose yo...

Why can't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there

A man joins the French Foreign Legion...

During the training, they spend all their time in the desert. Nothing but desert day after day, week after week, marching up and down dunes and across flat yellow plains.

Eventually one of the men starts sobbing. Another man turns to him and asks what is wrong.

"I joined the Legion to...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

NSFW Why are camels called the ship of the desert?

Because they’re full of Arab semen.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horny American man gets sent to the desert for a job

The desert has a total population of 50 people. After a couple months of his "dry-spell", the man seeks to find out if there's a way to "get the job done" somewhere in the desert.

He asks the locals around and they guide him to the "PIMP with the Camel". He immediately runs up to the PIMP and...

A penguin driving through the desert

started to have car trouble, so he decided to drive to the nearest mechanic to get his car checked out. After he dropped his car off, he decided to walk down the block to get some ice cream, since it was a particularly hot day. Unfortunately, he was only able to devour about half of his vanilla cone...

Trekking through the Desert

Two Englishmen and a Bedouin guide are trekking through the desert. The sun is beating down and the throats are parched and their lips are dry and cracked when one of the Englishmen notice that the Bedouin's lips look fine - no chapping, no cracking, nothing. He asks, how do you keep your lips from ...

A blonde, a brunette and a red head were stranded on a desert island....

The brunette was a very intelligent woman and was able to figure out using her years of mathematical know-how, that it was 20 miles to the nearest shore and she thought she could swim it.

So off she went and made it out 5 miles and got exhausted and drowned.

After a few days the redhea...

A penguin is driving through the desert on a hot summer day.

Suddenly, his car breaks down. He goes to the local auto mechanic to fix it. The mechanic says "Come back in 30 minutes and I'll tell you what's wrong" Meanwhile, the penguin is really hot in the desert. He goes and gets a vanilla ice cream to cool down. However, in the hot desert, the vanilla ice c...

Three guys and a girl are marooned on a desert island

After one week the girl is so ashamed of what she's doing she kills herself

After another week the guys are so ashamed of what they're doing to her they bury her

After another week they're so ashamed of what they're doing they dig her up again

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are in car that is driving on a remote desert road.

All of a sudden, an armadillo runs into the road and the car swerves to avoid hitting it. Unfortunately, the car was going very fast, so it flips upside down and lights on fire.

The three women in the car only have enough time to grab one type of item before escaping. The redhead grabs a bun...

Three brothers have been traveling in a desert

The heat was too intense, if they didn’t find shelter immediately they would die

All of a sudden the first brother, the oldest, finds a lamp. Without hesitation he rubs it only for a genie to appear moments later

The genies shouts, “Ah! I awaken once more! You three men shall each get ...

3 men walk in the desert

They are thirsty and would do anything for a drink. Suddenly they see a giant slide and a sign next to it. It reads, “Slide down the slides and shout the name of the drink you want and when you reach the bottom of the slide, there will be a pool of it

The first man slides down the slide and ...

An Irishman wanders the desert...

Stumbling upon a magic lantern, he gives it a rub and a genie pops out...

Genie:
Hello stranded Irishman, thank you for setting me free! As a reward, I will grant you three wishes... What will be your first wish?

Irishman:
Oh hello genie! Well I’m awfully parched, and I miss Ir...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are wandering the desert and find a magic lamp

One of them picks it up and gives it a rub and a genie pops out.

"Thank you for freeing me, as a sign of gratitude I shall grant each of you 3 wishes."

The first man quickly speaks "I wish I had a million dollars!" the genie nods and the man gets his phone, checks his bank account and ...

2 men are stranded in the desert, dying of thirst.

As they walk with all hope lost, one of them spots a well in the middle of the desert.

'Look, a well!' - said the first man

'There is no way that well has water... ' - replied the second man

'We should check if it has water. Look, let's drop that rock into the well to check whet...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men are walking through the desert when they stumble across a lamp. They dust it off and a Genie pops out, the genie says "I will grant each of you 3 wishes!"

The first man says "I wish for a million dollars!" "Alright" says the Genie and just like that a million dollars appears at the man's feet.

The second man says "I wish for unlimited money" "Alright" says the Genie "Check your bank account" The man checks on his phone and sure enough there's a...

There's a single line of footprints in the desert

There's a single line of footprints in the desert. A man asks Jesus why there is only one set of footprints. Jesus replies "because sand people walk in single file to conceal their numbers"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three men are stranded on a desert island. (Long) (NSFW)

Three men wash up on a desert island. They don’t know each other and don’t know where they are. Soon, they get very hungry. They go into the island to see if they can find any food. They happen to stumble upon an enormous cache of perfectly ripe fruits. They eat to their heart’s delight, and when th...

What do you call a witch in the desert?

A sandwitch

Two cats are walking through a desert..

..after a long while one of them turns and says, "Dude, I don't get this litter box".

Two balloons were floating around a desert.

One said to the other, "look, a cactussssssssss..."

A man was stuck at a desert island for 20 years. One day, he saw something approaching.

With joy, the man looked at the approaching blur.
At first, it appeared to be a ship, then a boat, then a raft and ultimately a woman in a diver's suit came out of the water.
They talked. The woman asked, "How long since you last had a cigarette ?"
The man said, "20 years !"
The woman un...

The Sahara Desert drifts into a bar and the bartender says,

"Long time no sea."

A man is walking in the desert in Saudi Arabia.

As he's walking, a local man on a camel begins to come into view. The tourist turned and could see that a woman was walking behind the local man on the camel. The tourist asked the man:

"Who is that?"

"That is my wife," he replied.

"Wouldn't it be kinder to let her ride the came...

A married woman is walking through a desert cave one day when she comes across a magical genie lamp

She rubs the lamp, and a genie comes out. "Thank you for getting me out of that cursed lamp! I... I was so crowded in there. Listen, to make it up to you, I'll give you three wishes".

The woman is overjoyed. She jumps up and down excitedly, but then the genie speaks again.

"However, I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man lost in the desert with his camel

Every day he gets lonelier and lonelier, when it gets to the point he decides he is going to have sex with his camel, but he couldn't reach, so every day he would try and try again to have sex with his camel standing on hills and on rocks but the camel would just try to run away. until one day, he c...

Why did it take Moses 40 years to cross the desert?

He got paid by the hour.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Poetry contest

At a poetry contest where the contestants are given one word they must create a poem from, there was competition between a well regarded poet and a redneck. The word given to them was “Timbuktu” and the poet was to go first.

Almost immediately the poet starts speaking..

“Slowly across...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Abdul and Achmed are wandering through the desert with their camel.

They’ve been wandering for a long time and had nothing to drink. After miles of walking through the desert, they come across an oasis. After Abdul and Achmed drank, they realized that the camel was not drinking. Knowing that the camel would die if it didn’t drink, they tried to get it to drink by ha...

A man wandering the desert, finds a lamp...

Skeptical, he rubs the lamp and to his surprise a Genie pops out and says:

"You get three wishes, go."

The man thought for a moment before speaking

"You know, I've thought of the perfect first wish!"
He mulled it over a momemt longer before spouting
"I want the greatest ...

A man walking in a desert was about to starve to death, when he suddenly...

Died of thirst.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A mexican, a chinese guy and an american are all in a desert...

The mexican has a giant leaf, the chinese guy has a hat and the american has a car door.

The mexican says he likes to fan himself when it gets hot.

The chinese guy says he likes to wear his hat.

And the american finally says that he likes to roll down the window.


...

A man is stranded in the desert when he comes across a genie's lamp. He rubs it and the genie grants him just one wish. The man said, "I could die happy here, if I could just get..."

... one more 's'.

Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving.

They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says………

“Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.”

“Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. ”

With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tr...

A guy, a pig, and a dog are the only survivors of a terrible shipwreck, and they find themselves stranded on a desert island.

After being there for awhile, they get into a ritual of going to the beach every night to watch the sun go down.

One particular evening, the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle -- in short, a perfect night for romance! Well, that pig started looking bette...

A penguin is driving down a desert road...

...when he hears a strange sound coming from his engine.

At the next town he pulls into the service shop and asks for help.

The mechanic says, “It’s gonna take about 20 minuets to check this out. You look pretty hot, you should go get an Ice Cream at the shop across the street to coo...

A penguin is driving through the desert

When his car starts to give him trouble. The lights start flashing and the dials go out of control, so he puts the car in neutral and rides it out to the nearest gas station.

He asks the gas station attendant "Can you fix my car? It's really no place for a penguin to be stuck in the deser...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 Englishmen get stranded in the desert when they come across a camel and decide how to divide it up.

“I’ll have the chest of course” said the man from Manchester.

“I’ll be eating the liver” said the bloke from Liverpool.

“I’m not hungry” said the guy from Arsenal.

What do you call a desert towing company?

A camel tow

Why don't Antifa like the desert?

The heat is oppressive.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is walking through the desert

He sees one Indian man laying down on the ground naked with a boner. The man asks
“What are you doing?” And the Indian replies
“Oh I’m just checking my clock.” So then the man keeps walking until he finds another Indian naked with a boner. The man asks again “What are you doing?” then the Indi...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Elephant And a Camel Meet in the Desert.

The Elephant asks: "Lol what are those boobs for on your back?"

The Camel responds: "Keep talking with that dick in your face"

A man is riding his donkey in the desert looking for treasure.

They go 5 miles, and pass an oasis, the donkey looks back, and the man goes,

“Just a little longer, Jackass.

They go 10 miles, and pass another oasis, the donkey looks back, and the man goes,

“Just a little longer, Jackass.”

They go 15 miles, and pass another oasis, the...

Three men are driving in the desert when their car breaks down.

The men decide that they must split up and survive on their own for the best chances. They are then forced to abandon the car. To be fair, they decide that they can each take one part of the car to help them.

The first man decides that he wants to take the car battery, he is an engineer and ...

What do you call a cat in the desert?

Sandy Claws

A cowboy and a red Indian are walking through the desert...

After a short time the Indian stops the cowboy before dropping to his knees and placing his ear to the ground. Upon standing the Indian says firmly "Buffalo come"

"That's amazing" says the cowboy, "How can you tell that?"

The Indian replies...

"Sticky face"

Jesus saw a crying old man while walking in a desert.

He came closer and asked what problem is.

Old man: I’m looking for my son, but I’m gonna lose my hope.

Jesus pitied the man and said, “let’s look for your son together.”

After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was riding through the desert on his camel.

A man was riding through the desert on his camel. He had been traveling so long that he felt the need to have sex. Obviously there were no women in the desert, so the man turned to his camel.

When he tried to position himself to have sex with his camel, the camel ran away. The man ran to catc...

3 woman are stuck on a desert island, 50km for the mainland

The first one a Brunette decides to swim for it, she gets 5 kilometers before getting tiered and drowning. The second woman a redhead decides to swim as well, she gets 15 kilometers before getting tired and drowning. The last woman a blond also decides to swim, she decides to be smart and not go out...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is lost in the desert...

A man is lost wandering in the desert. After pushing as hard as he could, his horse has died, and he is near to death himself, when along comes a missionary. The missionary, having come extra prepared in case he should come across a poor weary soul, has brought enough food, water, and an extra horse...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Jews wandered in the desert for 40 years.

Who the hell gave them such lousy directions?

A man finds a magic lamp in the desert

He rubs the lamp and a genie pops out!

The genie says that he will grant the man only one wish, and that he has to pick from three choices. He can either be the richest man in the world, the most popular man in the world, or the wisest man in the world. The man says "We all know that money d...

A guy is walking through the desert when he meets three men going the other way.

One is drinking out of a water bottle, one is looking at his phone and the third one is dragging a car door. He stops to talk to them.

"Why are you guys out here?" he asked.

"Our car broke down in the middle of the desert, so we started walking to see if we could find help. I figured I...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An Army Captain is assigned to a remote desert post in Iraq

During inspection, he notices a camel tied up outside the barracks. He asks the soldier, "why is that camel there?"

The soldier says: "There are 250 men here and no women. Sometimes men get urges."

A month later the Captian has urges himself. He puts the ladder behind the camel, drops ...

How do you find Will Smith in the desert?

You look for the fresh prints.

An American biker decides to travel the world...

Once upon a time there lived an American biker named Rick. Now, Rick loved to ride his motorcycle, but was tired of driving up and down the same roads, day after day.

One morning, he woke up, and decided to travel the world. So he saved up some money, got on a plane, along with his trusty Ha...

I once got trapped on a desert island

To be honest, my top 5 favorite albums didn’t help one god damn bit

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is on a private safari in the middle of the desert.

It is just him and a guide. They’re speeding along in a car, looking out for wild animals. Suddenly, the man desperately needs to pee, and so they stop at an oasis for him to relieve himself.

As he’s peeing, he is distracted by a herd of beasts in the distance, As he is gazing off to the sid...

2 Arabian men are riding camels in the desert...

2 Arabian men are riding camels in the desert.

The first Arabian man barely has to stop for water for his camel and the other Arabian man has to constantly stop for water for his camel.

One day, they reach a town and they both go to the water trough.

The one Arabian man asked, ...

Two guys are lost in the desert.

They wonder around for several days when the first guy stops and starts sniffing the air.

"You smell that...?" He says to his friend, who begins sniffing.

"Is that... bacon?" The friend responds.

"It is! Look!" He points off in the distance to a large plant. "Its a bacon-tree!"<...

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are walking in the desert...

A redhead, a brunette, and a blonde are walking in the desert after a plane crash. To lighten the mood the brunette suggests a game of 'make a wish'. The redhead goes first and wishes for a never ending glass of water so that they'll never get thirsty on their journey. The brunette goes next and say...

Penguin in the Desert

A penguin is driving his car through the desert when steam starts pouring out from under the hood. Luckily, he sees a gas station up ahead. The penguin pulls into the station and while the mechanic checks out his car in the garage, the penguin goes into the mini-market for an iced cream. As he walks...

The thirsty criminal

My grandpa told me this gem of a joke. Here it goes...

A fleeing criminal, desperate to escape the police, runs into the desert with hardly any water. Very soon, he runs out of drinking water, and hours later, he is already plodding under the merciless desert sun.

He is close to desper...

So, there's a man crawling through the desert.

He'd decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn't get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A black man is lost in a desert

A black man is lost in a desert and just before death God comes before him and asks him what he desires at this moment.

The black man says:" I want lots of water, lots of women on me and I want to be white."

God says:" You ask and thou shall recieve."

And God turns him into a t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three American men are lost in the desert...

...After many hours without food or water, they are relieved to find a large tent filled with amazing food, clean water, and lots of beautiful women.

They partake of the food, water, and women without hesitation, and soon return to a healthier condition.

A while later, the tent owner ...

An Arab is lost in the desert, dying of thirst

As his eyesight begins to fade and he collapses into the ground, his fingers come across a stoppered flask in the sand. Hoping for water, he pops it open, only to see a swirl of smoke issued forth, coalescing into a giant figure.

"My deliverer!" booms the figure. "I am a long imprisoned Djinn...

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stranded in the desert.

Their car broke down so they all agree to grab something from the car to help them survive. The Brunette shuffles around and grabs food. The Redhead rummages through the trunk and pulls out water. They are talking saying that it’s to prevent them from starving or becoming dehydrated while they wait ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 men get stranded on a desert island

After wandering around a while, they are found by some tribesmen. The natives take them back to their hut. The chief tells them, "Go out into the jungle and collect 10 pieces of fruit."

The first guy returns with 10 apples, and the chief says "Now shove them all up your ass without showing an...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Four men are stuck on a desert island...

Four men are stuck on a desert island, but one of the men suddenly drops dead.

The remaining three men decides the best way to survive is that they eat his dead body, and that they should decide who gets what by which football team they support.

The 1st guy says: "I support Liverpool, ...

An Arabic man is helplessly wandering through the desert when he comes across a Jewish tie salesman.

"Water! Water!" The Arabic man cries.

"I have no water, only ties. Would you like to purchase a tie?" Replies the Jewish tie salesman.

"No!" Exclaims the Arabic man, "I need water! Tell me where there's water!"

"I know where there is water. 20 miles east, there is a village w...

An Englishman, Irish man and Scots man are trapped in a desert

The 3 are trapped in a massive desert, when they find a magic Genie. The Genie can grant each a wish to help them with their journey home

English man asks "I want a 20 litre bottle of water for each of us to carry on our way"

Scots man asks "I want a map and compass to guide us on our...

A car breaks down in the desert. The driver goes in search of help, carrying the car door.

So that if it gets too hot he can open the window.

An Irishman and an Englishman are shipwrecked together on a desert island.

Waking up on the shore, all they find is a bottle of fresh water from the boat they were on.

"We should save this until we come up with a plan. We each get half, agreed?," said the Englishman.

"Agreed," replied the Irishman.

Night fell and the two men went to sleep. Upon...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A caravan is crossing the desert. The elephant, walking beside the camel, asks "why are your tits on your back?"

The camel, slightly bemused, replies "What a strange question coming from someone with a dick on his face!"

A Saudi couple and their camel are in the desert

They have been walking for days now and the journey is long and hard. One day the camel says to the man
“Oh please can I rest? This journey is too hard for me”
So the man pulls out a gun, holds it up to the camels head and says “camel going once”
The camel then immediately starts walking a...

An Englishman, Scotsman and Donald Trump are in the Sahara desert (see, I’ve changed it so it’s current)...

The Englishman is carrying an umbrella, the Scot is holding a cucumber and Trump is carrying a car door.
A Bedouin approaches and asks why the Englishman has an umbrella in the desert. The man replies. “Well, when it gets really hot, I put up my brolly and I can keep cool in the shade.”
The Be...

2 Christians are lost in the Arabian desert

The first day is hot, and they're miserable after running out of food and water. The night is surprisingly cold and even worse than the day. The second day and night are even worse.

On the third morning, hotter than the past 2 days, they see a mosque. "We're saved!" exclaims one. The othe...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was lost in the desert

With nobody by his side apart from his trusty camel. The man walks miles and miles, maintaining his needs by eating the flesh of dead animals and drinking from the oasis' scattered across the lands. However the one basic need he is unable to satisfy is the need for sex. After several days the man ca...

What do people use to conceal themselves in the desert?

Camelflage

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horny dude lost in a desert

To let off his sexual frustration, he tries to mount a camel from back but was brutally kicked away. Apparently the camel was not amused by what he had to offer.

Sitting there with nothing but frustration \(comparable to that of an engineering student or a computer grad\), to his amusement h...

A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on a desert island ...

... and all they have to eat are cans of food and they're discussing the best way to open them.

The physicist says, let's not overthink this - just bash them open with rocks!

The chemist says, "No, we need to create a fire anyway and we can simply use the heat to cause the cans to burs...

A plane crashes in the Australian desert, and an American tourist is the only survivor...

He survives in the desert for days with severe injuries before being discovered by locals and brought to a small community hospital. Relieved at his good fortune, he passes out until the next day.

When he wakes up, he sees that his wounds have become infected, he is connected to multiple mach...

A truck driver is heading west across the Arizona desert. He has been driving all night, and as the sun starts to rise, he feels the need to stop and commune with nature.

He pulls to the side of the road, parks, and walks out into the sage brush.
As he is standing there, looking around at the beauty of the early morning, he notices a lever sticking out of the ground. After a few moments, he walks over, walks all the way around, and then reaches out to grasp the le...

There is a penguin driving through the desert...

when his A/C suddenly stops working. So he decides to stop at the next town. He pulls into a mechanic's garage and tells him the situation. He asks if there is anywhere he can go to cool down while waiting. The mechanic tells the penguin about a grocery store across the street, with a frozen food s...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.