What do you call it when a deaf person faceplants into quicksand?

Lip sinking.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A gorilla was strolling through the jungle when he came upon a lion trapped in quicksand (nsfw)

"Save me, gorilla!" shouted the lion. "Drowning in the quicksand is no way for the king of the jungle to die!"

The gorilla quickly grabbed the lion by the rear and started pounding him in the ass.

When he finished he yanked the lion from the quicksand, tossed him as far as he could, an...

The pastor and the the quicksand

A pastor falls into quicksand, after 10 minutes the firefighters arrive.

pastor: "I don't need your help! God will save me."

the firefighters leave, after one hour they come back.

pastor: "I already told you, i don't need your help, god will get me out of here and save me!"
<...

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quicksand?

quatro sinko

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there is an elephant stuck in some quicksand

He yells for a help and a mouse comes to try and pull him out. The mouse pulls as hard as he can but the elephant won’t budge. The mouse then runs home to grab his corvette and goes back to pull the elephant out. Later that day, the mouse was stuck in some quicksand. He yells for help and the elepha...

Lets face it English is a stupid language There is no egg in the eggplant No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England

French Fries Were Not Invented In France.

We Sometimes Take English For Granted

But If We Examine Its Paradoxes We Find That:

Quicksand Takes You Down Slowly

Boxing Rings Are Square

And A Guinea Pig Is Neither From Guinea Nor Is It A Pig.

If Writers Write, H...

To make quicksand, all you need is 1 cup of maize cornflour and half a cup of water.

Let that sink in.

100 lawyers are in a bus stuck on a bed of quicksand

... Let that sink in

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Your dick is like quicksand

It makes me go down

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(NSFW) A horse and a baby chicken were playing in the barnyard...

...when the horse fell into some quicksand. The baby chicken, wanting to help his friend, goes to find the farmer for assistance but he’s nowhere to be found. The baby chicken finds the farmer’s Aston Martin in the garage, however, so he backs it up to the quicksand. He then ties some rope around th...

When I was growing up, we didn't have a sandbox, we had a quicksand box.

I was an only child....eventually.

(From my favorite comedian: Steven Wright)

Camel Joke

A young camel asks his mother
“Why do I have a big hump on my back”
The mother replies
“You use it to store water when your in the desert”
“That’s cool” says the young camel “ And why do I have these big hooves”
The mother answers “Your hooves stop you from sinking in the quicksand w...

A priest gets into quicksand...

he notices he can´t get himself out of there, so he starts praying. Along comes a guy. The guy sees the priest and asks: "do you need help?" But the priest just answers: "No, god will help me." He sinks in deeper and deeper, is in to his hip, as antoher guy comes by and asks the priest wether he cou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy finds himself alone in the forest, trapped in quicksand...

He can't get out, and he's slowly sinking further and further.

He's up to his knees, and a guy finds him.

"Excuse me! Can you help me get out of here?"

"Yeah, but you have to suck my dick."

"We'll never mind then."

"Okay, see ya."

So the guy walks off. ...

Motivation is like quicksand.

I'll likely never encounter it but see it in movies all the time.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Horse and the Chick

The horse and the chick were best friends. One day when they were walking around the farm together, the horse fell into a patch of quicksand. He couldn't get out no matter how much he struggled. The chick suddenly had an idea:

"I know! The farmer just bought a new Porsche SUV. I'll use that t...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A traveler is going across the desert.

He comes across an oasis in the desert. After resting for a bit he notices that he is horny. He ties his camel to a tree, gets behind it and gets ready to pleasure himself. Only then the camel looks back and the man feels guilty and unties the camel.

He gets on the camel and keeps trotting t...

What was the philosopher's last thought before he descended into quicksand?

I sink therefore I am.

The worst part about being a giraffe

is having a lot of time to think about your mistakes when you’re sinking into quicksand.

Credit. The Joke Cafe

ENGLISH IS A FUNNY LANGUAGE

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant not ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English fo...

A priest is sinking into quicksand...

A firefighter comes and ask him if he wants some help to get out of the quicksand. The priest answers: '' No thanks, I'm a believer and I'm sure God will send his help to save me''. Then the firefighter goes away.

A bit later an entire fire truck comes and asks if they could help him cause h...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During his physical, the doctor asked the patient about his daily activity level.

He described a typical day this way:

“Well, yesterday afternoon, I waded along the edge of a lake, drank eight beers, escaped from wild dogs in the heavy brush, jumped away from an aggressive rattlesnake, marched up and down several rocky hills, stood in a patch of poison ivy, crawled out of ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

An elephant is walking through a jungle path one day when, all of a sudden...

he hears a small voice cry for help. After following the voice through the dense vegetation he finds a mouse stuck in quicksand. The mouse desperately begs the elephant for help. Knowing that the mouse will die if he does nothing, the elephant whips out his dick, tells the mouse to grab the head, an...

Compilation of short "jokes"

☐ There should be TL;DRs on Terms and Conditions

☐ I never click the top Google result if it's an advert even if it's exactly what I want

☐ The amount of battery left on my phone is proportional to how hard I've been working that day

☐ Smart watches should be able to delete your...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Odd Signs From England

Sign in a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES:PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN
THE LIGHT GOES OUT

Sign in a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING
IT BACK OR FURTHER STE...

God please

A very pious man is stuck in quicksand. He's in up to his belly when 2 firemen come by, he says : " only God can save me, leave me alone!". The 2 firemen insist but the religious man won't change his mind, "only God can help me" he repeats. The firemen finally leave him but after some time they feel...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A horse and a chicken(maybe nsfw)

On a farm there's a horse and a chicken that are best friends. They're walking along one day and the horse winds up falling into some quicksand. The chicken tries to pull him out to no avail and then looks back to see the farmer's F150 with a 12 inch lift and huge tires. So he says "Hold on buddy, I...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.