What’s heavier, 1 lb of rocks, or 1 lb of feathers?

The feathers, because you’re carrying the weight of what you did to those birds.

What’s big, red, and eats rocks?

A big red rock eater.

In the future, Donald Trump passes away from a heart attack.

He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do here," says the devil." You're on my list, but I have no room for you.

You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as yo...

Why are moon rocks tastier than earth rocks?

Because they’re meteor!

A man and a Rock walks into a bar

The bartender asks: what can I get you

The man says: ginger ale on the rock

The bartender asks: do you mean on the rocks?

The Rock says: no he doesn’t

A freighter carrying a shipment of whiskey from Scotland lost power and was blown onto the rocks in Nova Scotia. The entire cargo was lost.

it left no tern unstoned.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Inigo Montoya finally catches up with the six-fingered man in a monastry in Tibet. He finds him red-robed and shaven-headed sweeping the temple courtyard.

"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." he says, drawing the six-fingered sword

The six-fingered man sighs and lowers his arms "I am prepared, my son. I have been freed from Earthly desires and acheived inner peace. I wish for nothing more than to move on to m...

I really like rock puns.

They're something we shouldn't take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.

Let's just face it, geology rocks!


PS: I just hit rock bottom, didn't I?

The gf and I froze solid on top of a cliff in Antarctica while arguing and then both fell off simultaneously and crashed to the rocks far below.

then we broke up

I'm not good with conversations, so I practice talking to large rocks

It makes me boulder

A Rabbi, a priest, and a preacher are out in a boat one day.

The rabbi tells the two he’s hungry, so he steps out of the boat and walks across the water to land, where he claims his snack.


Shortly later the priest decides he’s thirsty, so like the rabbi, steps out the boat and walks across the water to land, getting a bottle of water.


Th...

Thieves broke into a house and stole a big vault but it's only filled with big rocks

Thieves are getting boulder and boulder

I tried to buy a bucket for my metamorphic rocks.

But it wasn't for shale.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy from Boston was driving down a New Hampshire country road.

He saw a farmer out in his field, doing something near a horse drawn wagon. His interest piqued, he pulled over and got out to watch. After a while, it became clear the farmer was picking something up out of the plowed field and tossing it into the back of the wagon. As the farmer got closer, the gu...

Geology rocks...

but geography is where its at.

Trust me you should never punch rocks

I found out the hard way

What do rocks and girls have in common?

The flat ones get skipped

Back in caveman days, all we had were clubs and rocks. And doors hadn't even been invented yet...

...we had to tell each other "thump thump" jokes!

I searched up "rock music" on the interwebs the other day and got nothing.

I suppose it's because rocks don't usually sing.

Dinosaurs really got wiped out by a rock

Shoulda picked paper

A priest, a minister and a rabbi

A priest, a minister and a rabbi were in the middle of a lake fishing, the priest turns to the minister and says, "you fool, you left the food on the shore. You better go get it. " So the minister stands up in the boat, steps out and walks across the water, gets the food, brings it back, and passes ...

Trump wakes up, goes to the garden and starts picking up random rocks...

He picks a rock, carefuly examines it from from all sides, puts it back and then goes to find another one. After this has been going on for a couple of days, his cabinet starts to get nervous, so Pence calls Putin to see if he can help them.

"Hey Vlad! It's Mike. Listen, we have a little prob...

Whats a ships favorite drink?

Anything, as long as its not on the rocks!

What do rocks use for personal hygiene?

Geoderant!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

For those of you that never heard an ending to Bender's joke from the movie The Breakfast Club.

A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She sets the poodle down on the bar and the bartender says "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The blonde says "as a matter of fact, make it a double scotch on the rocks! I was just drying off af...

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