What state does the Mississippi River flow in?

Liquid

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fly is seven inches above a river bank...

...And on that river bank, there is a frog. In the river, an salmon. And a bear on the other side of the river. A hunter in the woods with a sandwich in his pocket. A mouse next to the hunter, eyeing the sandwich, and finally, a cat about to pounce.

The frog thinks to himself, "If that fly d...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Long ago, a king issued a challenge to see who can first cross a crocodile-infested river.

On the day of the challenge, the participants were shocked to see how dangerous the river actually was. Crocodile backs were visible nearly every part of the river and the width of the river seemed to stretch miles away to the other bank.

The king, eager to see some violent gory entertainment...

A man is drowning in the Mississippi river...

A man is drowning in the Mississippi river and screams for help. Two police officers are standing nearby, but they are just ignoring him. The man does not know, what to do, and so with his last attempt, shouts: "The president is an idiot!". Immediately after the police officers heard this, they pull...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Pierre, a brave French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the River Seine.

It's a beautiful day, and love is in the air. Marie leans over to Pierre and says: "Pierre, kiss me!"

Our hero grabs a bottle of Merlot wine and splashes it on Marie's lips. "What are you doing, Pierre?", says the startled Marie.

"I am Pierre the fighter pilot! When I have red meat, ...

There are 3 boys, named Stupid, Nothing, and Nobody. The boys go down to the river, and Nobody falls in the water, he cant swim, so Nothing tells Stupid to call for help. Stupid calls 911 and says...

"Hello, I'm Stupid, I'm calling for Nothing, Nobody fell in the water."

Why does the river Clyde run through Glasgow?

If it walked, it would get stabbed

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A poor family lives on a farm and they rely on their chickens for income.

One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground.

"There’s nothing that could help get us out of poverty now," says the dad as he shoots himself.

The mom walks outside and sees the dad and the chickens on the ground.

...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call masturbating while floating down a river?

Toobin

What do you call a a Spanish spring (river) that doesn't move?

Geyser Permanente

What did a river say when seeing beavers for the first time?

"Well I'll be dammed!"

A woman's dog falls into a river

She screamed for help and a strong Russian man jumped into the river and rescued the dog. After the dog was out, he told the lady to wrap him in towels to keep him warm. The lady asked "are you a vet?" And the Russian man replied "are you insane of course I'm wet."

Why did Louisiana arrest the Mississippi river?

It had a dirty mouth.

A tour guide is showing people around Washington, DC, when they reach the Potomac River.

"On this spot, right here," says the guide, "Abraham Lincoln threw a ten-dollar bill all the way across the river in 1863."

"That's impossible," says a tourist. "No one could throw a piece of paper that far."

"Well," says the guide, "it must be understood that money went a lot farther ...

Two blondes are on either side of a river.

One of them yells to the other: "HOW DO YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE?"




The other blonde yelled back: "YOU'RE ALREADY ON THE OTHER SIDE!"

Name the smaller rivers that run into the Nile

The Juveniles

A Irish man is stumbling through the woods, totally drunk, when he comes upon a preacher Baptizing people in the river.

He proceeds to walk into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher...

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol, whereupon he asks the drunk,

'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

The drunk shouts, 'Yes, I am.'

So the preacher grabs hi...

Best way to cross a river. Vote now.

Roe v Wade.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a fly buzzing about one foot above the river. A trout saw the fly and thought, ‘If that fly comes down six inches, I can jump out of the water and catch it’.

What the trout didn’t see was a bear hiding behind the bush who also saw the fly and realised what the trout was up to and thought, ‘If I wait until the fly drops six inches, the trout will jump and I’ll catch the trout’.

There was a hunter watching the bear watching the trout watching the f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A chicken was walking along a river and noticed a cat

The cat slipped and fell into the river and the chicken couldn’t stop laughing.

Moral of the story: A wet pussy makes a cock happy.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man accepts a job in a village with no women

Once there, he asks a local:

-There are really no women here?

-None.

-So... What do you guys do when you need to have sex?

-There is a donkey close to the river for that.

The man tries to ignore that and goes home, from where he can see the river and therefore, the...

Have you heard the one about the man who got ticketed for blockading his local river?

It's a dam fine joke, if I do say so myself.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to Rome with her husband. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded:

"Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?”

"We're taking United” was the reply. "We got a great rate!”

“United?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer wakes up to find that his favourite goat has died.

Since he loved that goat very deeply, he decided to jump into the river by his house and commit suicide. Soon after, his wife woke up, and after discovering what had happened, she too followed in his steps and jumped into the river.

Their younger son woke up to find both of his parents dead,...

What do you call a car concentrating on crossing a river?

Ford Focus

3 dinosaurs find a magic lamp in a river

A genie pops out and says “I will grant each one of you one wish!” The first dinosaur thinks and says “I wish for a huge piece of meat!”. The genie smiles and a big, juicy steak appears in front of him. Not to be outdone, the second dinosaur says “I wish for a shower of meats!!” The genie snaps his ...

I learned to swim when I was very young when my dad threw me into the river

I thought i’d never get out of the bag

How’d the clam cross the river?

Took a taxi crab.

I once fell into an African river but refused to accept it

I was in denial

A small town is constantly suffering catastrophic flooding when the nearby river crests...

The mayor puts out a solicitation for someone to offer a solution to this problem. Three men respond: a civil engineer, a chemist and a literary critic. They arrive to the town, and the civil engineer and the chemist go to the city hall to present their approaches, but the critic checks into a nearb...

There was a hunter who lived alone in the middle of the forest, in a small house by the river..

A short distance down a slope in front of his house, he had a garden where he would grow vegetables to supplement his diet of forest game and fish.


One morning, he awoke to the sounds of a thunderstorm and rushing water. Quickly getting dressed and stumbling outside, he saw the river ...

I finally forgave the river for making me have to build a structure to get across it.

It's water under the bridge, now.

A koala was sitting in a gum tree smoking a joint when a little lizard walked past, looked up and said, "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"

The koala said, "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."

So the little lizard climbed up and sat next to the koala where they enjoyed a few joints.

After a while the little lizard said that his mouth was dry and that he was going to get a drink from the river.

The little lizard...

When river fish need cash

they go to the nearest bank

Two men were kayaking down a cold river

They felt that if they didn’t do something soon, they’d freeze to death. So they decided to build a fire between them which ended up burning a hole through the vessel and sank it. This just goes to show you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

People tell me there are lots of rivers in Africa. They're wrong, there's only one.

Denial.

A Zebra, pondering his life, sips water at the edge of a river....when a crocodile snaps up, bites the Zebras head and kills the zebra....

The zebra’s soul goes to heaven where St Peter meets the zebra to welcome him to heaven.

The Zebra says...“you know, I died because I was sitting there pondering if I was white with black stripes.....or black with white stripes. “

St Peter says..”well the only person who can answer th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Apparently as a 4-year old, Hitler was saved from drowning in the river Inn by a local priest.

Goes to show once more that a lot of problems would be solved if priests could just keep their hands off kids.

If an alligator lives in a river and thinks he's a crocodile

There's a good chance he's in da-nile!

What's the most sarcastic body of water on earth?

The Crimea River.

The healing river

People heard about a healing river and the stories about its powers and so they gathered to see it with their own eyes. A lady with a sick child in her arms goes into the water on one shore and comes out at the other, the child now smiling and completely healthy. A blind man goes in and comes out se...

As an Irish-American, I don't appreciate being called a "river dancer" by my own family doctor

Doctor: I said you have liver cancer

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

This one is a long one I'm warning you,

I made this one myself

You have 500 bricks. If the co pilot throws one off a plane, how many will you have left? 499

How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the refrigerator door, put the elephant inside, and close the door!

How do you put a giraffe into a re...

There are two cats crossing a river.

The first cat's name is "One two three" and the other's name is "un deux trois".

Which one made it across?

One two three, because the Un Deux Trois cat sank.

Two men are on opposite sides of a river

The first man shouts "How do I get to the other side of the river?"
The second man shouts back "You are on the other side of the river."

Any out-of-work wilderness guides out there with cringeworthy jokes? As a river guide, I always liked:

“This is the only place you can find these particular rocks in the whole world!” and “Look, you can see a planet, right now!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A big city doctor visits an indigenous tribe of only men,

He asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
The leader of the tribe says "Since you're our guest you get to go first.".
The doctor ...

STUDENT: Sir, can I ask a question

Teacher: Yes!

Student: How do you put an elephant inside a fridge?

Teacher: I don't know.

Student: it's easy. You just open the fridge and put it in. I have another question!

Teacher: Okay ask!

Student: How to put a donkey inside the fridge??

Teacher: It's e...

I told my father, that the river in our village is running dry.

"that Dam Bridge"

The beaver says "I didn't build that, Your Honor."

The judge points at the picture of the pile of logs in the river and says "we have damming evidence against you"

I'll see myself out

A guy walks into a pawn shop, there's a brass statue of a cat.

He asks the shopkeeper, "How much for the statue?" Shopkeeper replies, "$20 for the statue, $20,000 for the story." He says various unkind words, pays $20 and takes his statue.

He walks down the street, but he starts hearing a murmuring noise behind him. Something small and subtle, he can't p...

Today I saved a man drowning in the river

I tossed him a bar of soap and he washed ashore

Source: University Daytime Janitor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jesus and Moses go Fishing

Jesus and Moses are sitting by a riverbank, fishing, and shooting the shit about the good ol' days.

Moses says, "I had a few great days, but I have to say, that day I parted the Red Sea was the best of them. Man, that was spectacular! You should have seen the look on everyone's faces." ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two bananas are sitting in a river bank...

when a turd floats down the river and yells at the bananas, "Come on in! The water is just fine!"

One banana looks at the other and says, "Do you believe that shit?"

Two Egyptians walk into a bar

"Where's your third friend?" Asks the bartender.

"He's gone to drink his sorrows down in the river." They replied.

"Oh no, is he depressed?"

"No, he's in De Nile."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Autocorrect has once again fucked me over. I just accidentally messaged my mate asking if he fancied a wank down the river...

Bastard. I meant canal.

Two cats tried to cross the river. One cat was named 'One Two Three', the other cat was named 'Un Deux Trois'. Which cat made it across?

'One Two Three' because 'Un Deux Trois' Quatre Cinq .



It's a pronunciation thing.

A lost hiker is on one side of a raging river when he sees a buddhist monk on the other side. There are no bridges. He has no boat. He shouts out to the monk on the opposite bank. “How do I get to the other side?”

The buddhist monk shouts back: “You are on the other side.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A hungry fish spots a fly sitting on the bank of the river.

The fish really wants the fly to come closer to the edge of the water, so he can jump up and eat him.

Meanwhile, there's a fisherman a few feet downstream. He sitting on a little stool, eating a cheese sandwich, and wishing that the fly would drop down about 4 inches so the fish would catch a...

Twist

Student: 503 bricks are on a plane. 1 falls off. How many are left?


Teacher: 502.


Student: How do you put an elephant in a fridge?


Teacher:No you can’t fit an elephant in a fridge!!


Student: Just open door, put elephant in, close door.

...

Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and he says...

Dam

A guy comes up to White River Junction in Vermont...

The sign says “White River 2M” and “White River 2M”. Confused by the sign, he finds a local and asks,

“What difference does it make if I take the left or the right?”

The Vermonter says, “Not to me it don’t.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The fly

There is this fly hovering over a river.

There is a fish looking at this fly thinking if this fly drops 6 inches then I could get that fly.

There is a bear looking at the fish thinking if that fly drops 6 inches and that fish goes for the fly I can get that fish.

There is a h...

One day an atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. " And to think they were all created by a cosmic accident" As he was walking alongside the river he suddenly heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.

He turned to see a seven foot grizzly bear charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path but he looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him.
Suddenly he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear right on top of him...

The Monk and The Cow

A humble monk sits at the peak of a hill that overlooks where the grassy Earth meets a river, and the river flows with the breeze, and the breeze explores a mountain range, and the mountains neighbor the sky, and the sky conceals the entire universe, hiding the unknown in plain sight. Softly, the mo...

How many steps? - Add questions if you have something similar.

* How many steps does it take to put an elephant in the fridge?
* Three: open the fridge, put the elephant in, close the fridge.
* How many steps does it take to put a giraffe in the fridge?
* Four: open the fridge, get the elephant out, put the giraffe in, close the fridge.
* All the an...

Why does France have so many rivers?

Water follows the path of least resistance.

A man lives on the banks of an Egyptian river

A man lives along the banks of an Egyptian river. Every year the river floods, yet the man remains certain that the river will not destroy his house. One year, the people in his settlement try to persuade him to evacuate, as the floods of that year were vicious. The man did not listen, thinking he w...

Upon discovery of some sandstone deposits in a dried-up river, Mr. Watson questioned Sherlock Holmes on how he could be so sure it's sandstone.

"Why, it's sedimentary, my dear Watson!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A rooster and cat got into a fight...

...on a bridge. The cat pounced and the rooster ducked resulting in her falling into the river. The rooster rushed to save the cat. Why?

Because a cock loves a wet pussy.

The Atheist and the bear.

One beautiful morning, an atheist was walking through the forest, admiring nature's surroundings...
He looked up and saw the trees swaying in the wind high above him and smiled...
He saw the river glisten and the sun twinkle like a new born star and it made him warm inside...
He thoug...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's a forest, and in this forest is a river and hovering above this river is a fly.

Looking at this fly is a fish and the fish is looking at this fly and is thinking: you know what, that fly drops six inches, I'm gonna go up there, get that fly and have myself a really nice meal.


What the fish didn't realize was that there was a bear looking at the fish looking at the fl...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moon River

Two guys are working the night shift at a funeral parlor when they get a call to pick up a body from a car wreck.

They go to the accident and bring the body back to the funeral home. It's now about 3AM so one guys wants to put the body on ice and get to work on him the next morning but the o...

Did you hear about the crazy man who jumped into the river in Paris?

Many people say he’s inseine

The pharoah woke up in the middle of the night kicking and screaming. Concerned for his saftey, two guards burst in! After making sure the room was safe, one guard immediately ran off to fetch the soothsayer, always close at hand.

The soothsayer quickly calmed down the pharoah and began to ask him what had him clearly so distraught.

"Oh, it was terrible!" The pharoah recounted, "The mountains shook and ungodly scream sound across the world, as though the gods themselves were yelling in torment!" A moment to steady hi...

The POTUS, Donald Trump is swept down a flooding river... You stand on the riverbank with a camera in one hand and a lifebuoy in the other. Now you have to make a choice....

Do you take a picture in colour or in black and white?

I was gonna make a river joke

But I dont think its current

Not sure if this belongs here, but please read!!!!

Back on January 9th, a group of HELLS ANGELS, South Carolina bikers were riding east on 378 when they saw a girl about to jump off the Pee Dee River Bridge. So they stopped.

George, their leader, a big burly man of 53, gets off his Harley, walks through a group of gawkers, past the State Tro...

So a man was drowning in a river and then a big boat comes by and the man in it says “do you need any help” to which the drowning man replies “no thanks, god will save me”.

And then another big boat comes by and the man in it says “do you need any help” to which the drowning man replies again “ no thanks, god will save me”. So the man drowns and goes to heaven. He says to god “why didn’t you save me?” and god says “i sent to big boats you dummy!”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Roger was very thin because he was afraid to spend a lot of money on food. He looked forward to the day when his grandfather would die and leave him a fortune.

His grandfather was blessed with both a sense of humor and a sense of justice. So he planned that when he finally died all he would leave to Roger was a cookie.

But what a cookie.

It was made with butter, churned from milk from a yak milked by a virginal milkmaid on the highest field o...

A former student of a Geology professor at a major University returned one day to give the professor a gift of a unique soil sample he had collected from a river while on a trip....

To which the professor replied, "I appreciate the sediment"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

George Washington was crossing a river in a storm.

He tells one of the men, "corporal Peters, move to the front of the boat with a lantern to help us see the way!"

Corporal Peters does as he was told, but almost immediately falls into the icy water and is lost.

Washington and his men eventually reach the shore and set out through the...

There was once a very lazy man

This man was so lazy eventually his father has enough. He put him in a sack and dragged him down to the river and was about to throw him in when a passerby noticed. "What're you doing with this man?" He asked. "He's very lazy he doesn't do anything I've had it with taking care of him and feeding him...

What did the contractor say when the city complained about the overflowing river?

dam it!

I befriended a stone, but it fell into the river

A shame, really. I was attached to that stone.

Wife came out the shower giggling at this joke she just thought up: Why didn’t the beavers send any wood down the river?

Because they didn’t give a dam.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A dragon appears and burns down a village...

...so the inhabitants of the another village across the river plead with Sir Roland, a mighty knight, to come and slay the beast.

Sir Roland dons his best plate, arms himself with his finest weapons, and rides out to battle the dragon. He comes to the area where the beast was last seen, and f...

God appeared to Adam in the Garden...

God appeared to Adam in the Garden of Eden one morning. While discussing the naming of the animals and such, God noticed Eve wasn’t there. God asked Adam, “where is Eve my son?”

Adam reply’s, “oh she is down at the river bathing”.

God then gasps, “Oh no, no, no! I’ll never get that sme...

A hunter had been out hunting bear all day, when he came across a fast flowing river.

The water was nice and cool, so he set his rifle down and began to splash water on his face to cool down from the many hours of hunting. The hunter looked up just a monster Grizzly Bear was charging at him full speed roaring like a freight train. Then about 20 yards out the hunter dropped to his kne...

In the days of old the River Thames was once plagued with a giant wyrm.

The dread creature preyed upon any who used or went near the river, and many lives were lost, and eventually the call went out for a brave knight to slay the vile creature. It soon became apparent that this was no task for a common knight, but only the holiest and most dedicated - a living saint....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There was a fly above a river

A fish sees the fly and thinks "If it comes down about 3 inches lower I can jump up and eat it". A bear sees the fly and the fish and thinks "if the that fly goes a few more inches lower, the fish will jump to get it and I can snag the fish in the air". A hunter who's been tracking the bear for some...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Many years ago a Native American and his son were talking about the things of life.

After a pause in the conversation, the son asks, “Father, how did you come up with the names for me and my siblings?”

He replies, “As soon as each of you were born, I went out from the teepee and the first thing I saw is what I named you each. For example, after your brother was born, I looke...

If your boat turns upside down in the river, you can wear it on your head...

cuz it is capsized...

Why are so many rivers in India polluted?

Hyderabad

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Imagine a wilderness scene, a flowing river and critters running around

There is a fly, buzzing above the river, but what he don’t know is that there is a fish watching him, thinking

“That fly is gonna drop 6 in. And I’m gonna jump up and get em, and have myself a good meal”

But the fish don’t know that there is a bear watching him thinking

“That fl...

A traveler was walking along the side of the road in Arizona, hitchhiking on a dark night in the middle of a thunderstorm;

Time passed slowly and no vehicles went by. It was raining so hard he could barely see his hand in front of his face.


Suddenly he saw a car approaching, moving slowly and appearing ghost-like in the rain. It slowly and silently crept toward him and stopped.


Wanting a ride v...

An Orangutan Is smoking a joint on a tree when a lizard walks by...

The lizard asks: "Hey Orangutan what are you doing?"
"Smoking a joint"
"Ooooh can I have a puff???"
And the Orangutan: "Absolutely not, you're so small you couldn't possibly handle It"
"Cmon please Orangutan just one!"
"Alright! But don't make me regret It"
After smoking the lizard...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A lizard and a monkey smoke some weed

After a long day of surving in the African bush, Monkey and Lizard are chilling in a tree smoking a fat bush blunt. After a while Lizard tells monkey he needs a drink and goes down to the river. He bends down to take a sip and being stoned to his little lizard bones, he fell in the river and starte...

What did Putin say to NATO in response to being criticized for annexing parts of Ukraine?

'Oh, Crimea river.'

Why did the American start shooting the river?

He learned fish swim in schools

A drunken man stumbles upon a baptism in the River Jordan

The priest is standing there, dunking people's heads underwater,and when they emerged he would ask if they'd found Jesus.

The drunk wanders down to the river to join in, and when it gets to his turn, the priest dunks his head under the water. when he gets back up, he asks the man if he had f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Billy the Irishman

An old Irishman shuffles into a bar at sundown with his eyes low and his head down. The bartender says *"ay, Billy! What's the matter? You seem troubled"*. Billy responds with *"you see this bar we're standing in? I built it with me own hands!*

*But they don't call me the bar builder, no! And...

So there's an Amazon River now? What's next? Lake Facebook? Mount Paypal?

How did Amazon manage to name a whole river in South America after them? Did they pay the governments of all the countries it flows through, for the naming rights?

What was the river's name before Amazon bought the naming rights to the river?

And how long will it be before there are ot...

Read it

A rabbit went into a library, Hippy hop hippy hop in it went.

It went through the aisles and picked up a bunch of books and put them into its cart.

The rabbit went up front to check them out, the librarian thought it was a little odd but since it had a library card they checked them ou...

A Bad Original Joke

One day, a farmer walked up to a fisherman, and said, "Oi, I found this 'ere red thing glimmerin' at the river over yonder. Issa worth much?"

The fisherman takes a look at what the farmer caught. After inspecting it for quite some time, he frowns and says, "I'm afraid it's worthless, sir....

What's the current mood of a river valley?

Depression.

A rich friend heard that his poor friend fell ill after drinking bad water from a river. He sent his friend a fruit basket and a card.

Get well soon.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Moral of the Story

There was this fish, just swimming up the river. He looks up, notices a fly. Fish thinks to himself, man, if that fly drops 6 inches, I can have myself a tasty little meal.

On the riverbank, there’s a bear. He notices the fish, and the fly. He thinks to himself, man, if that fly drops 6 inch...

The Norwegian and the Covid-denier

One day an Norwegian and a covid-denier were fishing on opposite sides of the same river, but the Norwegian guy was catching all of the fish.

Eventually, the covid-denier asks the Norwegian, "How do you get to the other side?"

The Norwegian guy responds, "I'll turn on my flashlight and...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

God is walking through the Garden of Eden one morning, when he sees Adam sitting by himself, grinning from ear to ear.

God says to Adam, "you're looking very happy this morning! Has something good happened?"

"Oh yes" Adam replies. "This morning we found out why I have a penis and Eve has a vagina! It was *awesome*. We're going to call it 'sex'!"

God is shocked. "Adam, what you have done is a sin! You a...

Carl and his friends are at the Nile River in Africa when his friend receives a call

“Carl, your wife’s car flipped on the road while she was driving, she didn’t make it.” His friend said as he put his hand on Carl’s shoulder.

“No, it’s not true, oh God!” Carl said as he jumped in the Nile River, attempting to drown himself.

“What the hell is going on?!” Carl’s other f...

Why did the squirrel cross the river on his back?

Too keep his nuts dry.

This cop had just finished his shift one cold July evening and was sitting at home next to his wife.

"You won't believe what happened this evening, Hallie. In all my years on the force I've never seen anything like it."
"Really?" She says. "Tell me what happened."
"Man, I came across these two dudes down by the river. One of them was drinking battery acid and the other was eating firew...

(NSFW) The elephant and the ant

An ant stood by the river, need to go to the other side.
Desperately looking around and can’t find any way to cross.
Then...

An elephant went by

The ant goes “hi mister elephant, would you do me a favour and take me to the other side?”

The elephant say “sure little ant, j...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man passes out while swimming in a river.

A group of people surround the riverbank where the young man was floating.

Then, a cocky medical student pushes through the crowd, dives into the river and pulls the man half out.

He then starts performing CPR on the man, with every chest compression water comes out of the man's mouth....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

English Literature Class

Professor starts the literature class. "Today's lesson is metaphors. A metaphor conceptualizes and exaggerate a big thing into a small creative image. As an example you can say 'The snow is a white blanket' instead of saying that snow is white. Can anyone say a similar metaphor ? "

"Tom Crui...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Boudreaux lived down by the river in deep Louisiana.

On the other side of the river lived a guy named Clarence.

Boudreaux hated Clarence and Clarence hated Boudreaux. Every day since they were small children, they'd go down to their river banks and yell at each other across the river. They never really met each other because neither one could s...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.