UPJOKE
meetencounterseecrossintersectassemblegatherthroughalongrunningintooutturningoffover

Run Across Jokes

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

During WW2, three generals were arguing who had the bravest soldiers.

The British general called one of his men over.

“Private! See that nazi tank in the minefield there? Go destroy it.”

“Yes, Sir!” The soldier replied and started running.

He ran across the unmarked minefield until within range of the tank with his anti-tank weapon, took aim and f...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did the virgin run across the road?

She was being chaste.

What did the Guatemalan man do when he saw a deer run across his car’s path on the motorway?

He accidentally ran over it in His panic.

bah dum tss

Why do Leprechauns always laugh as they run across a field?

The grass tickles their balls

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The Little Green Man

One day there was a little green man who had just got home from his little green job.

He got to his little green door, opened it, stepped inside, hung up his little green coat and decided to run his little green bath while he drank a little cup of green tea.

As soon as his little green...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

While playing in the backyard, little Johnny kills a honeybee.

His father sees him killing it and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.

Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockr...

How do you kill a Fox?

Cut his leg off and make him run across Canada.

Two women archaeologists are down in Mexico excavating an ancient Mayan burial ground looking for some remains to take back to their museum.

Unfortunately, everything they run across is badly decomposed. One of the two says, "We don't seem to be having much luck."
The other replies, "Keep on digging, honey, a good Mayan is hard to find!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Army Rangers are on vacation in New Orleans....

when they both get the idea to catch an alligator, skin it and get shoes made out of its carcass.

They go to an outfitter to get a boat and all the gear they’ll need, and during the conversation they mention they are army. The outfitter tells them that two Marines with the exact same idea pas...

A preist, a monk, and a rabbi are sitting on a boat...

The monk says "oh right I forgot something back at the dock" and then proceeds to run across the water to the dock and back. The priest is astonished at the powers of Buddhism and the rabbi simply nods. hours later the rabbi needs to use the restroom and proceeds to follow in the monks suit running ...

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.