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Conditioner Jokes

I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?

Not a fan.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Strippers don’t have any air conditioners in their homes

OnlyFans

A computer is a lot like an air conditioner

It becomes a lot less efficient as soon as you open Windows.

Did you see the new movie they made about an air conditioner?

Wasn’t a fan

The hair stylist said "do you want any conditioner on that?"

I said "Extra volume?" and she said "DO YOU WANT ANY CONDITIONER ON THAT?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

"Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

"Then get an air conditioner"

"I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

"We...

Got an estimate on installing a new Air Conditioner in our house for $18k…

Looks like we’re going with Only Fans this summer.

Why does Snoop Dogg use conditioner?

Fo'frizzel

Me and my wife recently started using Only Fans.

Because our air conditioner broke.

And this will definitely help pay for a new air conditioner.

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 


The four brothers ...

Apparently there are three jewish guys in my car's air conditioner....

Hi, Norm and Max.

Background: Something I noticed many, many years ago when I was a teenager in my dad's car. My dad thought it was pretty funny. He had a lousy sense of humor. lol

The inventor of the air conditioner has died

Thousands of fans are attending his funeral

Why don’t conservatives use conditioner on their hair?

Because the bottle says “Apply liberally”

A great joke that only air conditioners will get!

On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan.

How are Computers and Air Conditioners similar?

They both stop working when you open windows.

My conditioner says it normalizes dry itchy scalp...

My scalp still itches but now so do all my friend's.

The penguin and the mechanic

A penguin is driving a rental car through Arizona when, suddenly, the air conditioner stops working. The penguin, frantic with the heat, swerves into the first car repair shop he sees.

Penguin jumps out yelling, "Quick, quick! Drop everything and fix my air conditioner. I'm literally dying...

I just paid for a full haircut, conditioner, neck and scalp massage, face shave and then moustache trim and wax.

It's my wife's birthday and I thought, "What the hell! I'll treat her."

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt

She felt the same way

So I turned on the air conditioner

The control for the air conditioner was so far away

It was not even remotely close

What are the propellers on an aircraft for?

They work the Air conditioner.
Cause when the propellers stop spinning, the pilot starts sweating.

My girlfriend and I were arguing about who had touched the air conditioner last, because it wouldn't turn on.

Needless to say, things got pretty heated.

Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day.

How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I bought this car, no one told me there would be three jews in the air conditioner

High, Norm and Max

What is Pavlov's favorite hair product?

Conditioner

There was this engineer who died and went to Hell.

He disliked Hell, so pretty soon he went to work improving it. He installed air conditioning, elevators, bathroom air fresheners, escalators, and all sorts of gadgetry. One day God calls Satan:

"So, how are things down there?" asks God.

"Great!" Satan replies, "we now have air conditio...

What would you call a hair product that was marketing batman?

Conditioner Gordon.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are each in their own rooms, who is the hottest?

Whoever forgot to turn on the air conditioner.

An engineer dies...

An engineer dies and stands before St. Peter at the gates of heaven. After going through all his records, St. Peter finds that the man must go to hell. The engineer complains, as he's always been loyal to his wife and friends, never stolen, and always tried to lead a good life.

"I'll take i...

In a certain country, there are specialized manufacturing villages

There are shoes village, candy village, light bulb village... Deeper in the mountains there are villages that even produce things like air conditioners or TVs.
But the most rural one is the remote village.

Did you know there is a condition that causes ones hair to be soft and healthy

The condition is called "er," but most people call it conditioner

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.

First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry.


So finally, a second custo...

What do you call an appliance that brainwashes the atmosphere?

An air conditioner.

So my brother has been taking rill good care of his hair

After his hour long showers all my conditioner is gone

How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy?

He used conditioner on them.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Diary of an Englishman after he moves to South Africa....

**August 1**: Just got transferred with work from London, UK to our new home in Phalaborwa, Limpopo, South Africa. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally fo...

One small step for Man

A friend of Neil Armstrong said when you landed on the moon,
in all the excitement, how the hell did you come up with that great saying …

One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind?

Just Amazing to be able to come up with that, on the spur of the moment!

Neil said i d...

I was walking down the street when a saw a church sign. It read,

"WHOEVER STOLE OUR AIR CONDITIONER, YOU CAN KEEP IT, BECAUSE IT'S HOT WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!!"

Me: “I’m a shower not a grower.”

Her: “Why don’t you come round and prove it?”

Don’t know why she got upset with me when I turned up with shampoo and conditioner and sprayed her with scalding hot water as soon as she turned me on.

A sinful engineer dies and goes to hell

The first thing he notices is how hot it is, so he builds an air conditioner. He then proceeded to build more and more over time and thanks to this engineer, Hell is completely air conditioned and has a booming economy in a few years. One day, God decides to check on Hell and is baffled at how much ...

I can remember watching the women of Baywatch as a youngster -- being transfixed by their big bouncing...

...hair.

Seriously, what kind of conditioner were they using?

What did the psychologist wash his dog with?

Pavlovian conditioner

I heard about global warming...

So now I leave my air conditioner on all the time. I know just one individual can't save the planet, but I do my best.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

Hillbillies

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. "

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothin'...

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

Stoned people jokes

A stoned student was copying whatever the teacher writes on the black board, but every time the teacher clears the blackboard he throws away the paper.

2 stoned men were speaking to each other one said 'i am freezing from the air conditioner'' the other replied " i am jack, from Florida''....

A woman moves in with her balding programmer boyfriend

A woman moves in with her balding programmer boyfriend and immediately gets concerned about his nighttime routine. Every night he takes a 2 hour shower and goes to bed complaining that his arms hurt. She also noticed that he has an entire closet full of shampoo. After a few weeks she can't take it a...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday.

Someone suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more.

"And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked. 

"It's very simple. First you turn up the air conditioner so that the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then preach in a monotone...

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