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Strippers don't use air conditioners...

Only fans

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Today I saw a glass billboard advertising air conditioners that looked brand new. Than a flock of pigeons landed on it.

From there, it was a clear sign that shit was about to hit the fan.

I just paid for a full haircut, conditioner, neck and scalp massage, face shave and then moustache trim and wax.

It's my wife's birthday and I thought, "What the hell! I'll treat her."

Apparently there are three jewish guys in my car's air conditioner....

Hi, Norm and Max.

Background: Something I noticed many, many years ago when I was a teenager in my dad's car. My dad thought it was pretty funny. He had a lousy sense of humor. lol

The penguin and the mechanic

A penguin is driving a rental car through Arizona when, suddenly, the air conditioner stops working. The penguin, frantic with the heat, swerves into the first car repair shop he sees.

Penguin jumps out yelling, "Quick, quick! Drop everything and fix my air conditioner. I'm literally dying...

The Goldberg Brothers - Are well known as the Inventors of the automobile Air Conditioner.

Here's a little known fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends. The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Maxwell, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees. 

The four brothers walked...

After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt

She felt the same way

So I turned on the air conditioner

My computer and air conditioner have something in common.

They both lose efficiency whenever i open the Windows.

I didn't get a warranty on my air conditioner,

But it would be cool if I did.

I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?

Not a fan.

When he's in the bathtub, Batman uses Bat-shower gel to clean his body, Bat-pumice on his feet and Bat-shampoo to wash his hair.

But to keep his hair smooth and silky he uses Conditioner Gordon

Why does Snoop Dogg use conditioner?

Fo'frizzel

Riddle me this:

Why do we have Batman shampoo but conditioner Gordon isn't a thing?

The hairdresser was washing my hair, she said "Do you want any conditioner?"

I said, "Extra volume?" and she said "DO YOU WANT ANY CONDITIONER?!"

Why don’t conservatives use conditioner on their hair?

Because the bottle says “Apply liberally”

A great joke that only air conditioners will get!

On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan.

My girlfriend and I were arguing about who had touched the air conditioner last, because it wouldn't turn on.

Needless to say, things got pretty heated.

What did the air conditioner say to its remote control?

You turn me on.

The inventor of the air conditioner has died

Thousands of fans are attending his funeral

Whats cooler than OnlyFans?

Only Air Conditioners

Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day.

How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool.

How are Computers and Air Conditioners similar?

They both stop working when you open windows.

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When I bought this car, no one told me there would be three jews in the air conditioner

High, Norm and Max

Why did the British stylist get fired from her new job at an American salon?

She tried softening customers' hair with an air conditioner.

A sinful engineer dies and goes to hell

The first thing he notices is how hot it is, so he builds an air conditioner. He then proceeded to build more and more over time and thanks to this engineer, Hell is completely air conditioned and has a booming economy in a few years. One day, God decides to check on Hell and is baffled at how much ...

The control for the air conditioner was so far away

It was not even remotely close

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A yamen jew is sitting the the living room and his kids starts complaining

Dadd... I'm hot!

ok my child sit next to the air conditioner

a few moments pass and the child complains again...

Daaaad! I'm still hot!

Ok ok my child, sit closer to the air conditioner



after a few seconds the child complains again.

Daaad! Daad! I am...

In a certain country, there are specialized manufacturing villages

There are shoes village, candy village, light bulb village... Deeper in the mountains there are villages that even produce things like air conditioners or TVs.
But the most rural one is the remote village.

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DAAAAAMN I have a hot wife at home

And that fat cow gets real bitchy when the air conditioner breaks

A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant.

First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour. Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry.


So finally, a second custo...

How does Rapunzel keep cool in the summer?

She uses her hAIR conditioner!

What is Pavlov's favorite hair product?

Conditioner

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Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."

The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"

"Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"

"Then get an air conditioner"

"I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"

"We...

Hillbillies

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: "My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. "

2nd Hillbilly says: "Why is that stupid?"

1st Hillbilly says: "We ain't got no 'lectricity!"

2nd Hillbilly says: "That's nothin'...

There was this engineer who died and went to Hell.

He disliked Hell, so pretty soon he went to work improving it. He installed air conditioning, elevators, bathroom air fresheners, escalators, and all sorts of gadgetry. One day God calls Satan:

"So, how are things down there?" asks God.

"Great!" Satan replies, "we now have air conditio...

Hairstyle Competition

Hello, my name is John and I would like to tell you about the time I entered a hairstyle competition. You see, I have always loved trying out different hairstyles and colors. It is something I have put great effort into!

It was about February of last year that the idea of entering a hairstyle...

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Diary of an Englishman after he moves to South Africa....

**August 1**: Just got transferred with work from London, UK to our new home in Phalaborwa, Limpopo, South Africa. Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beautiful. I’ve finally fo...

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are each in their own rooms, who is the hottest?

Whoever forgot to turn on the air conditioner.

A woman moves in with her balding programmer boyfriend

A woman moves in with her balding programmer boyfriend and immediately gets concerned about his nighttime routine. Every night he takes a 2 hour shower and goes to bed complaining that his arms hurt. She also noticed that he has an entire closet full of shampoo. After a few weeks she can't take it a...

The secret to Pavlov's hair?

Just a classical conditioner.

(I hope the name rings a bell)

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell. As punishment for his many sins, the Devil shoved him into a room and proceeded to crank up the heat and humidity.

But the man just smiled and said, “Oh, this is just like Chicago in the Spring.”

So, the Devil cranked up the heat...

An engineer dies...

An engineer dies and stands before St. Peter at the gates of heaven. After going through all his records, St. Peter finds that the man must go to hell. The engineer complains, as he's always been loyal to his wife and friends, never stolen, and always tried to lead a good life.

"I'll take i...

What do you call an appliance that brainwashes the atmosphere?

An air conditioner.

Did you know there is a condition that causes ones hair to be soft and healthy

The condition is called "er," but most people call it conditioner

So my brother has been taking rill good care of his hair

After his hour long showers all my conditioner is gone

Stoned people jokes

A stoned student was copying whatever the teacher writes on the black board, but every time the teacher clears the blackboard he throws away the paper.

2 stoned men were speaking to each other one said 'i am freezing from the air conditioner'' the other replied " i am jack, from Florida''....

A scientist dies and goes to the Golden Gates.

A scientist dies and goes to the Golden Gates of Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him. The poor scientist has never believed but was a good man, so St. Peter is conflicted. He eventually decides to send the man to Hell. He is initially very frightened because, well, it's hell, but he eventuall...

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A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday.

Someone suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more.

"And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked. 

"It's very simple. First you turn up the air conditioner so that the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then preach in a monotone...

Me: “I’m a shower not a grower.”

Her: “Why don’t you come round and prove it?”

Don’t know why she got upset with me when I turned up with shampoo and conditioner and sprayed her with scalding hot water as soon as she turned me on.

How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy?

He used conditioner on them.

I heard about global warming...

So now I leave my air conditioner on all the time. I know just one individual can't save the planet, but I do my best.

I can remember watching the women of Baywatch as a youngster -- being transfixed by their big bouncing...

...hair.

Seriously, what kind of conditioner were they using?

I used to be a fan of Dell's computers...

Now i'm just an air conditioner.

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A man was walking home from a bar

A man was walking home from a bar after he’d had a few pints when suddenly he starts hearing a banging noise behind him. Glancing back he imagines that he can see something in the distance but thinks nothing of it and continues on his way home.

Walking round the bend of the street to his hous...

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

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