I like jokes. But jokes about air conditioners?

Not a fan.

The hairdresser was washing my hair, she said "Do you want any conditioner?"

I said, "Extra volume?" and she said "DO YOU WANT ANY CONDITIONER?!"

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.


Henry was curious and invited them into his office.


...

What is Pavlov's favorite hair product?

Conditioner

What did the air conditioner say to its remote control?

You turn me on.

Why don’t conservatives use conditioner on their hair?

Because the bottle says “Apply liberally”

What is the similitude between and air conditioner and a computer?

Opening windows makes both less efficient.

What does an air conditioner have in common with a computer?

They both lose efficiency as soon as you open windows.

A great joke that only air conditioners will get!

On second thought, I'm not gonna say it. I can already tell you're not a fan.

How are Computers and Air Conditioners similar?

They both stop working when you open windows.

My girlfriend and I were arguing about who had touched the air conditioner last, because it wouldn't turn on.

Needless to say, things got pretty heated.

The inventor of the air conditioner has died

Thousands of fans are attending his funeral

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

When I bought this car, no one told me there would be three jews in the air conditioner

High, Norm and Max

The control for the air conditioner was so far away

It was not even remotely close

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are each in their own rooms, who is the hottest?

Whoever forgot to turn on the air conditioner.

Its been really hot in Seattle lately, so I converted my dishwasher into an air conditioner the other day.

How? I handed my wife a hand fan to keep me cool.

How do you keep a prince cool?

Use an heir conditioner.

A woman moves in with her balding programmer boyfriend

A woman moves in with her balding programmer boyfriend and immediately gets concerned about his nighttime routine. Every night he takes a 2 hour shower and goes to bed complaining that his arms hurt. She also noticed that he has an entire closet full of shampoo. After a few weeks she can't take it a...

I was walking down the street when a saw a church sign. It read,

"WHOEVER STOLE OUR AIR CONDITIONER, YOU CAN KEEP IT, BECAUSE IT'S HOT WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!!"

So my brother has been taking rill good care of his hair

After his hour long showers all my conditioner is gone

Stoned people jokes

A stoned student was copying whatever the teacher writes on the black board, but every time the teacher clears the blackboard he throws away the paper.

2 stoned men were speaking to each other one said 'i am freezing from the air conditioner'' the other replied " i am jack, from Florida''....

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

DIARY OF A POM IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA

August 31
Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia .
Now this is a town that knows how to live!
Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings.
I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday.
It was beautiful.
I've fi...

There was this engineer who died and went to Hell.

He disliked Hell, so pretty soon he went to work improving it. He installed air conditioning, elevators, bathroom air fresheners, escalators, and all sorts of gadgetry. One day God calls Satan:

"So, how are things down there?" asks God.

"Great!" Satan replies, "we now have air conditio...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Danny cannot make his wife orgasm, so he goes to the doctor for some advice...

He goes to the doctor and says, "Look, I just can't bring my wife to orgasm in bed, it's a real problem."
The doctor says, "Well, is it too warm?"
"Yes, it's absolutely sweltering"
"Then get an air conditioner"
"I can't afford air conditioner doc, I'm too poor"
"Well, Danny, do you ha...

Me: “I’m a shower not a grower.”

Her: “Why don’t you come round and prove it?”

Don’t know why she got upset with me when I turned up with shampoo and conditioner and sprayed her with scalding hot water as soon as she turned me on.

Did you know there is a condition that causes ones hair to be soft and healthy

The condition is called "er," but most people call it conditioner

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Hillbillies

Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.

1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air conditioner. '

2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'

1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'

2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! ...

The secret to Pavlov's hair?

Just a classical conditioner.

(I hope the name rings a bell)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A local preacher was dissatisfied with the small amount in the collection plates each Sunday.

Someone suggested to him that perhaps he might be able to hypnotize the congregation into giving more.

"And just how would I go about doing that?" he asked. 

"It's very simple. First you turn up the air conditioner so that the auditorium is warmer than usual. Then preach in a monotone...

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell

A wicked man who lived in Chicago died and went to Hell. As punishment for his many sins, the Devil shoved him into a room and proceeded to crank up the heat and humidity.

But the man just smiled and said, “Oh, this is just like Chicago in the Spring.”

So, the Devil cranked up the heat...

An engineer dies...

An engineer dies and stands before St. Peter at the gates of heaven. After going through all his records, St. Peter finds that the man must go to hell. The engineer complains, as he's always been loyal to his wife and friends, never stolen, and always tried to lead a good life.

"I'll take i...

Survey gone wrong.. or right??

On a survey for 'which conditioner you use?' 99% of the womens said 'aaahhhhhh.....get out of my shower!!!!'

I heard about global warming...

So now I leave my air conditioner on all the time. I know just one individual can't save the planet, but I do my best.

I can remember watching the women of Baywatch as a youngster -- being transfixed by their big bouncing...

...hair.

Seriously, what kind of conditioner were they using?

A scientist dies and goes to the Golden Gates.

A scientist dies and goes to the Golden Gates of Heaven, where St. Peter is waiting for him. The poor scientist has never believed but was a good man, so St. Peter is conflicted. He eventually decides to send the man to Hell. He is initially very frightened because, well, it's hell, but he eventuall...

How did Pavlov keep his dogs so fluffy?

He used conditioner on them.

A land whale walks into a restaurant

After this fat man sits down, he calls a waiter over and orders a sumptuous meal and a jumbo "diet" coke. He then calls the waiter over and says:

"Hey waiter! Turn up the AC! It's too damn hot!"
The waiter, being a compliant worker, heads back and emerges after a minute. After a few minute...

What do comic book collectors use in their hair when they shower?

Mint conditioner.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man was walking home from a bar

A man was walking home from a bar after he’d had a few pints when suddenly he starts hearing a banging noise behind him. Glancing back he imagines that he can see something in the distance but thinks nothing of it and continues on his way home.

Walking round the bend of the street to his hous...

What do you call a hypnotist that works with wealthy children during the summer?

an heir conditioner.

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