Pun enters a room, kills 10 people

Pun in, 10 dead

Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel....

........number

Pun enters a room, kills 10 people

Pun in, 10 dead

Gonna be getting on the trend of binary puns and going to be writing 10000000 binary puns.

Update: Sometimes I byte off more than I can chew.

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest

I entered 10 puns in a pun contest, hoping one would win, but no pun in ten did.

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Awful puns are jokes too.

I was telling my mate Edward that I couldn't stop referring to myself as male genetalia. He told me I could stop any time I wanted.

I said, "No, I'm a dick, Ted."

I have a pun about Elton John

It's a little bit funny...

I submitted 10 puns to a joke-writing competition to see if any of them made the finals.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

My wife hates me because I make too many Pokemon puns

She's just Shellos

A horsey pun for you :)

What does a horse do to slow down for a glass of wine? It de-canters!

Communist puns are great and all, but too many of them are just replacing the word "marks" with "Marx."

If you want to be original, you should really approach them from some different Engels.

Why are calendar puns so bad?

Because they are always so week and dated

A tree pun

Why can't you be in a same room with trees?
Because they'll leaf

I was going to make a pun about Elizabeth the 1st's menstrual cycle...

But I don't like making period jokes, because not everyone gets them.

I've posted 9 puns here in this sub but none of them got upvoted. If this one doesn't either, then...

...no pun in ten did

There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..

..they make me feel even number.

If I hear one more pun about whales,

I’m gonna krill myself

I posted ten puns here to see which would receive 1000 upvotes

No pun in ten did.

The ad in the paper said, "You think you're funny? Tell us your best pun, and you'll win a $200 Amazon gift card!"

Well, I just couldn't resist. I sat down and wrote not one, but 10 of my best knee-slappers, rib-ticklers, and witty turns-of-phrase. I sent my list of comedy gold to the paper, and then began daydreaming about what I would do with $200.

The day on which the paper announced the contest winner...

Bad pun #3

I didn’t want to believe my dad was stealing from his job as a traffic cop but when I got home all the signs were there.

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Stupid pun i just thought of

A boy comes home to his dog after being a weekend away at the beach as he plops onto his bed he takes a big sniff and asks himself:
“did the dog crap or am i just imagining shit?”

I'm trying to write this pun about yoga

But it's just not working out

Ya I know it's a stretch

There are many problems with math puns.

Calculus jokes are mostly derivative, trigonometry jokes are too graphic, algebra jokes are usually formulaic, and arithmetic jokes are pretty basic.

But the occasional statistics joke is an outlier.

I don't know why I love bad puns so much.

It's just how eye roll.

I really like rock puns.

They're something we shouldn't take for granite. I mean, they are pretty solid.

Let's just face it, geology rocks!


PS: I just hit rock bottom, didn't I?

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

I tried to find a pun about carpentry

But nothing wood work.

I’ve heard a lot of puns in my lifetime, some great, others horrible

But I think the one about the kleptomaniac baker really takes the cake.

Happy cake day to me

Warning! Nun pun...

They’re “creatures of habit.”

I only do so many puns...

...because I'm dad inside.

Long ago in ancient Rome, the most heinous criminals were brought before Caesar to be sentenced.

One criminal was accused of murdering his mother-in-law. What made his crime especially depraved was that, after he strangled her, he allegedly cannibalized her body. Caesar said to the man, "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"By golly I did it! I did it all, and if I could do it again, ...

I feel like there is good pun potential...

in the intersection of weigh, way, and whey, but I can't quite get it to come out smoothie.

Seamen never laugh at my puns.

They're just too littoral.

There was a pun competition going on in the local community.

I decided I might have a go at it since I am pretty good with puns. The rules were simple: we all had to tell 10 puns. I got on stage and gave it my best shot to wow the judges. Sadly, no pun in ten did.

My wife had asked me to stop using police related puns..

I guess I’ll give them “ arrest”.

I have a space pun

But i need a little more time to planet

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Good puns are like double sided dildos.

They work both ways, but you need someone else to really enjoy it.

I tried to come up with a carpentry pun that woodwork...

I think I nailed it but nobody saw it.

I promise this joke does not contain any horse puns whatsoever...

April Foals!

If you’re dating someone who doesn’t enjoy Star Wars puns...

Then you’re looking in Alderaan places

Corny puns

Why can't the headless horseman ever win a race?

A: Because he can never get a head

What is Tiger Wood's favorite type of club?

A: The wood

I have this unusual medical condition where I can’t stop making silly airport puns.

The doctor says it’s terminal.

I recently got a job selling vacuums and finally got the courage to make a pun around my new coworkers

it sucked.

bee puns

why do bees have sticky hair

because they use honeycombs

For Cake Day, here’s my favorite pun: Did you hear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off?

He’s all right now. Sadly, there’s nothing left of him.

I love plant puns....

They're so ferny.

My wife is kicking me out because she's fed up with my South American animal puns...

'OK,' I said, 'Alpaca my bags.'

I should stop with the puns

My friends are gonna pun-ch me

I asked my friend why has he stopped making jokes and puns about Trump after he was sacked from the White House.

He said he's Biden his time

After hours of research i still cant make puns about trees

You'd think everything I've Redwood help

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Masturbation is a touchy subject

Pun completely intended

If you can't think of a good guitar pun...

Don't fret.

What is the consequence for a cringey pun?

A Punishment

I'm starring in a new theater production about puns

It's a play on words

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Wife and I making bird puns in bed

We were laying in bed, when I looked over and said "hey make like a bird and swallow this dick!" She smiled and pulled my pajama bottoms off. I closed my eyes awaiting bliss, when all of a sudden she repeatedly head butts my dick. After scrambling away and gasping in pain, I looked at her and exclai...

What do you call an onslaught of puns?

A punderstorm

What do you do to someone who tells a bad pun?

You give them a punishment.

I have achieved my life's goal of writing an entire theatrical performance made up entirely of puns.

It's a play on words.

Military puns are funny...

Generally speaking.

What's the difference between a pun and a fart?

A pun is a shift of wit.

Join in on a Pun Thread

Hello Pun enthusiasts,

Comment a subject and let fellow redditors make puns about that subject

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Warning: no pun alert, I repeat: not a pun

A man from Serbia was working in Germany for about ten years now and he was getting nostalgic for his home country so he went to the boss and said to him: " Boss, I have been woking hard all of these years and I would like to have a 2 week vacation to return to Serbia". Boss approved his wish so he ...

I made this up on the spot and I'm really proud of it.

This isn't the best joke, but I'm really proud of how it came out. My sister and I are both in town visiting our parents for the first time in years. I keep dropping bad puns and my sister keeps yelling at me.

Tonight, we were telling stories from our youth, and I told her this one. She was r...

My wife left me because of my constant zodiac puns.

It finally Taurus apart.

My wife hates how I love making puns with Bruce Willis movie titles, and wishes I would stop. But you know what they say....

Old habits Pulp Fiction.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

a list of puns!

Here's a list of puns I've been collecting:

How do you throw a space party? You planet.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

Nope. Unintended.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention, but everyone was blow away by the leaf blower.

A scarecrow says,...

Does anyone know any good tree puns?

I'm pining fir a new one, but they're not that poplar.

A good pun is like a piece of paper.

Tearable.

In 2020 we're going to have an entire year of bad puns about vision

I can see it clearly.

Oasis song puns.

I'm bored. Here's some puns based on Oasis songs. D' you know what I mean?



Q - Why does Noel have no life insurance plan?

A - Live forever.



Q - What's Noel's advice on avoiding road rage when tail-gated?

A - Don't look back in anger.



Q -...

(Pun from my kid nephew): How do you have a party in outer space?

Planet

I heard Reddit likes puns so I posted ten of them thinking at least one would reach the first page

No pun in ten did

A young boy submitted 10 puns to a joke competition.

He thought at least one of them would win an award, but no pun in ten did.

What is you’re best taco/ Mexican food pun?

Hey reddit! So currently I work at Taco Bell taking orders in the drive thru. With covid-19 all going around, a lot of people have been more down compared to before. So I’ve been trying to make their days somewhat better. The conversation usually goes like this:
Me: “hi welcome to Taco Bell, how ...

My son: Dad, I'm going to tell you a pun.

My son: Dad, I'm going to tell you a pun.

Me: What's that, son?

Son: It's like a joke, but you play with words.

My wife said she'd divorce me if I kept making Shrek puns

I told her to get ogre it

You know it’s really difficult to find a proper steak pun

It really is a Rare Medium Well done

What do R/Jokes have in common with the Spanish Inquisition?

It just a bunch of tortured puns

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