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Homophone Jokes

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You know what they say about homophones...

They all sound the same.

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I tried to console my friend who loved homophones

Their there they’re

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If I ever become famous, I'm gonna kiss another guy publicly just to remove homophones from my fan base.

John and Jon, that means you.

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I always love homophone jokes

They're humerus

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I found a new homophone today

At first I thought it was a regular phone, but then I saw it had Grindr installed.

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Got called a homophone after leaving a bad review on a store's website.

Look, eye don't care who cells the product. If it brakes, I won't by it with my hard urned cache!

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How's your homophone needlepoint project coming along?

Sew sew

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Just saw a man crying because he doesn't know what a homophone is

To comfort him I sat next to him, patted his back and said, "They're, their, there..."

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How many homophones does it take to change a lightbulb?

Nun.

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Some worrying news for grammar Nazis, a new study shows...

that homophone misuse is at an awl thyme hi.

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Today my phone wasn’t working

My son took it and went outside.

Me: How come you took my phone outside?

Son:You know how it’s daytime right now?

Me:Yeah?

Son:It’s a homophone dad.

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Define Homophobic

having or showing a dislike of or prejudice against homophones and homonyms

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How can you call someone and sound fabulous?

Use a homophone.

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Phil dies and is met by the Devil in front of three doors.

The Devil takes him to one side. 'Look, Phil,' he says, 'we're trying something out to cut down on admin down here. We used to assign punishments to the damned that fit their sins, but now we're letting people choose themselves.'

He gestures to the three doors. 'What I can do for you is this:...

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I went to a farm

I saw a nice young farmer in a field feeding his animals. I've been trying to talk to strangers more often so I shouted over "nice cock mate!". He just flips me off and calls me a 'faggot'?!

Fucking homophones.

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