UPJOKE
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There was a competition for the best wordplay joke

Hundreds of entries were sent in, but only 10 made it to the final round. However, none of them won.

No pun in ten did.

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Wordplay is fun.

As I slipped my finger slowly inside her hole, I could immediately feel it getting wetter and wetter.

I took my finger back out and within seconds she was going down on me.

"I really need a new fucking boat," I thought to myself.

What does a baker says after cracking a wordplay joke?

Bun intended

My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?"

"Whatever means necessary," she replied.

"No it doesn't," I said.

I made a list of the top 10 most popular wordplay jokes, to see if any of them actually made me laugh

No pun in ten did

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How to write a funny joke:

Now, everyone always says timing is important; we'll get to that, the timing is usually in the punchline.

First you need a premise - it can be simple. A ball. That's the focus.

Some of you are already chuckling because your immature sense of humor has made its own connections with the ...

Has anyone read the Indian wordplay book?

It’s written in punjabi

Two fishermen are sitting in a boat indulging in some wordplay.

The first one says, "If I tell you a joke that relies on *casting* the word "rod" in a phallic sense, would you find it *fishy*?"

"Oh," says the second one, "I think I can *tackle* it."

"So... *net-net*, you'd take the *bait*?"

"Oh-ho! *Hook, line, and sinker*!"

"I don't ...

My wife locked me outside the house coz she got tired of my wordplay jokes

I texted her "Oh Pun the door"

What's the difference between diarrhoea and a hopping marsupial that loves wordplay?

One's a runny poo and the other is a punny roo.


Thank you and goodnight.

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Tattoos and Wordplay

A man gets the words "I Love You" tattooed on his dick. He goes home to his wife, who tells him "stop trying to put words in my mouth."

Michael Jordan, Scottie Pippen, and Dennis Rodman are set to compete against each other in a wordplay competition in Spain

The Punning Of The Bulls

You're in a wordplay contest. The topic is "water"

What is your wet pun of choice?

Did you mean to use wordplay there?

Nope unintended.

Badly formed wordplay is utter torture

Truly, you could say it is pun-ishment.

Why did the Chinese couple take their newborn back to the hospital?

He was Caucasian, and they knew two Wongs don't make a white.



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DISCLAIMER: I do NOT condone racism in any way, form or fashion. It's just wordplay, folks. Apologies to anyone too sensitive for my humor.

Most people don't enjoy puns. Wordplay almost feels like an emotional knife stab to them. But at least they appreciate my humour when I get home

It just goes to show you, the only good pun is a dad pun

What do you call a wordplay that's so good it gets told everywhere, even in foreign country's?

a pundemic

I submitted 10 wordplays to a pun contest hoping one would win best quip...

But no pun in ten did.

What do you call a battle of wordplay?

Pun-fu fighting

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Do all black people have a problem with slavery?

Or just mine?

Edit: wow, front page of reddit! For those commenting on the distasteful nature of these joke, remind yourself.. It's a joke. The joke is based on wordplay, quick delivery, and is in no way designed to be racist. Slavery was never something to laugh about.

Edit 2: Holy g...

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I took this art class and the teacher said, “draw anything.”

So, of course, your boy likes wordplay, so I decided to draw water.

I call the teacher over to look at my artwork that I finished and she said, “You didn’t draw anything.”

I said “Yes I did.”

She said, “No you didn’t.”

I said “Um... last time I checked, water was clear, s...

Dad Jokes

Dad jokes aren’t an affliction that happens to dads, they’re a way of life. No one should ever be ashamed of #dadjokes. Instead, if you are a father, you should be worried if you don’t know enough good dad jokes.

You know that old saying, “Where there’s a will there’s a way?” That’s a pretty ...

In a bar, there's a guy hitting on a cute Banker girl

The guy brags about all his riches and possessions, but he got shot down by the girl immediately.

The girl said, "Leave me a loan!"

The guy noticed the wordplay, he praised the girl. "That's a pretty clever pun! ...But not as pretty as you"

The girl, now irritated, said. "I'm no...

What do you call someone who tortures you to death with boring wordplay and double entendres?

PUNisher

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To reduce waste, our city has told food truck operators that they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask....

How much food would a food truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

You should kill me for this but...

Did you see the engraving under the mineral sculpture of the famous punner's head? It said, "Wordplay Ore Bust"

The word “you” is made up entirely of vowels.

Yeah it’s not a joke, but when I tried to upload it to r/showerthoughts, I was told that wordplay wasn’t accepted. So here we are.

The trouble with translating jokes is...

Many jokes rely on clever wordplay, which can get lost in translation!


(What? That always gets a laugh when I tell it in Basque.)

Yesterday my girlfriend asked me if i had any fetishes

I told her I'm into wordplay.

Gene Therapy

The act of watching Gene Wilder films to cope with the loss of Gene Wilder.

This is the place for wordplay, right?

Never make puns during a Scrabble match.

Your opponent may not like your wordplay.

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