Sometimes I like to put the punchline first

A lot of people asked me why the line for drinks is before the line for food, so I explained

The punchline comes before the joke

Wanna know what's the worst part about time travel jokes?

Ya know, the best punchlines are kinda like men with ED

you never really see them coming

People keep saying I suck at comedy because I keep stealing punchlines...

To get to the other side!

I put the punchline to this on top of a Conifer tree.

If you don't get it, joke's on yew.

Why did the chicken cross the road? (punchline is different)

different

Making sure the punchline appears after the set up.

What's the key to a good time travel joke?

You know what they say about jokes with the wrong punchlines?

To get to the other side.

The greatest Schrodinger punchline...

or maybe not.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Unknown Punchline ... Help

My grandfather was an amateur stand-up and used to run material by anyone who would listen.

From the time I was 4 until I was about 10 he would take me bowling with him about once a week with his fellow old-guys.

I have a vivid memory from when I was about 7-years-old of him telling ...

The punchline comes before the joke.

What is the downside of timetravel jokes?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Some say if you can guess the punchline of a joke by the title on Reddit before clicking on it - that it's a rubbish joke...

Tits

I’m having a hard time remembering the punchline of this joke about the wife who found her husband, naked and unconscious, after he’d cheated for the last time.

The long and short of it was in her hands.

If the punchline was in the title.

Mobile users would be much happier.

Russian to get to the punchline

Why was Putin late for the party he was PUTIN on some makeup!

Why was Stalin late for the party he was STALIN for time!

Why was Lenin late for the party he was waiting for his LENIN to dry!

Why was Trotsky late for the party he got into a car crash.

Anyone know how to write an original joke that doesn't rely on an overused punchline?

Asking for a friend.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

(Warning: No Punchline) A drunk is hauled in off the street and taken before the magistrate, who asks him to explain his drunken behavior.

”Well,” says the drunk, ”I had ten bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or I’d be in trouble."

”So I withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the sink, with the exception of one glass...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three friends were bragging about who has the most sex. The first guy starts, “Y'all ain't got nothing on me!

I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I've slept with more than 1,000 women!”

Second guy fires back, “Oh yeah? Well I’m a top gynecologist at the highest rated hospital in the world. I make $800,000 a year, ...

It was on this day in 1978 that cult leader Jim Jones carried out a mass murder/suicide of over 900 of his followers in Jonestown, Guyana. Horrifying. There's a joke about it but it's wildly innappriopriate.

And anyway, the punchline's too long.

I try to steal jokes but I never get the punchline quite right

Anyway, two engineers tied a blonde to a flagpole or something

Two drunk guys were about to get into a fight, when one draws a line in the dirt and slurs, “If you cross this, I’ll hit you in the face.”

That was the punchline...

My friend confessed to me saying that he was starting to develop a bestiality fetish...

Not wanting to kink shame him I ask “How did you get into it?”

“Well I did some research on the internet and ended up going down a rabbit hole”

Have you every heard a joke with the punchline “Guacamole”?

Guacamole.

Because it gives you the punchline before the buildup!

This joke is like a pop-up ad...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy goes to jail and is talking on the phone to his friend.

Inmate : "So what's your plan to bust me out of this Hell hole?"

Friend : "Ok. Here it is: I'm going to swallow a bunch of rope then do something stupid to get arrested."

Inmate : "I'm listening..."

Friend: "Once I get in there, I'll go to the bathroom, poop out the rope and sne...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A nurse is bathing a female patient who is in coma

She notices that whenever she touches the genital area, patient's heart rate increases. She gets the idea that oral sex might help her regain consciousness. The nurse then calls patient's husband and tell him that oral sex might revive her and so the husband agrees to help.

The following nigh...

Could you imagine a game about jokes that have item drops and the rarest item in the game is known as “the punchline” which has a drop chance of 1/100000?

Friend: “hey Jordan, what you up to?”

Me: “I’ve been playing this joke game for two years and I still haven’t gotten the punchline.”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fellow stuck in a coronavirus outbreak, prayed to God for help.

Soon the head of the WHO came by. He said “Try social distancing! It can save you!”

The fellow shouted back, "No, it's OK, I'm praying to God and he is going to save me.” So the head of the WHO went on.

Then Dr. Fauci came by and told the man “Wear a mask! It can save you!”

The ...

REQUEST: Looking for those story jokes where you get the listener emotionally attached/involved before revealing knockout punchlines, to cheer up quarantined family friends

You know the ones I mean, guys. Let’s have it!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks into a bar with a shoebox

He walks up to the bartender, sets the shoebox on the bar, and orders a beer and an empty shot glass. The bartender brings him his beer and watches as he then fills the shot glass with the beer and takes the lid off of the shoebox.

Out of the box he removes a small piano and a little bench, ...

Why are there no Jim Jones jokes?

The punchlines are too long.

I would make a joke about Apple...

but the punchline is sold separately

A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of punch

The bartender says "If you want punch, you'll have to wait in line like everyone else."

So the man looks around the bar, but there is no punchline.

I always try to predict the punchline to jokes posted here.

I'm still trying to figure this one out.

Request for a punchline

I'm not sure if this is the sub for it. Went through the rules but couldn't find anything on the matter.

So here goes.

Why did the skeleton carve the pumpkin?

Edit : Thank you for the punchlines. Got some chuckles. Much appreciated

I usually like to read the punchline of long jokes before I read the whole thing.

The Bible definitely threw me a curveball.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why do Boomers make the best sugar daddies?

They're the best at fucking future generations.


Edit: u/squee45 for the superior punchline.


Edit 2 electric bugaloo: You all wanted to know what the original punchline was, so it was "they're the best at fucking the next generation"

Why don’t the people who write jokes on this sub get drunk at parties?

Because they don’t know how a punchline works.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A guy walks into a bar with a duck on his head(2 punchlines)

Punchline 1: The duck falls off

Punchline 2: Bartender says, “ Can I help you?”
Duck says, “Yeah, you can get this guy off my ass.”

Johnny became a mailman after hearing how they always slept with women as part of the punchline of jokes. He figured he’d tell the jokes to mothers as he dropped of the mail and then sleep with them. He dropped off package after package and told joke after joke, but no mothers ever slept with him.

One day he asked a mother if he’s been mislead by the jokes. Maybe mother’s really never slept with the mailmen and the jokes were misleading.

The mother said, “oh honey, it’s not the jokes, it your delivery.”

Because before the setup, the punchline he says

Why Yoda tell jokes can't?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Is it the first line or the punchline that goes here?

In the days of the wild west, there was a young cowboy who wanted more than anything to be the fastest gunfighter in the world.

He practiced every minute of his spare time, but he knew that he wasn't yet first-rate and that there must be something he was doing wrong.

Sitting in a saloo...

I never click on these, because the punchline is rarely worth the effort.

Told you

How do you ruin a good joke's punchline?

You repost it hundreds of times.

Coming up with a punchline is a real pain in my derrière

Pardon my French

Three friends are out fishing, having a competition to see who can catch the biggest fish.

The first guy says “Ill use worms as bait, surely this will catch the largest fish. My dad was a fisherman for all of his life, and taught me all of his tricks to catching the biggest fish. There is no possible way you guys can beat me.”

The second guy bursts out laughing. “You expect to catc...

Rudy Giuliani set major press conference at Four Season landscaping instead of Four Seasons Hotel.

Really, does there have to be a punchline?

A group of boxers stand in line to get some drinks at a party.

That's it. That's the punchline.

Help finish a punchline...

Hey guys, I'm writing my first ever piece of comedic material (very amateur level) and I'm trying to finish a joke. I'm looking to see if anyone can help. The situation is that I have to share a prize with someone who I feel is beneath me so the line would resemble something like this...

"I'm...

I know these jokes are supposed to have punchlines

But I still have yet to see one cup of juice here.

How many Nevadans does it take to change a lightbulb?

E

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.