UPJOKE
outputyieldcreationproductmanufactureindustryproducecultivationproducergenerationmakingindustrialfactorybookwork

Production Jokes

An Apple Factory in China is expected to cut production of iPhones by 18% in response to ongoing worker protests.

The workers' main demand is "more playtime".

Indian motorcycles hired an outside accountant to figure out their declining revenue. the board of directors required all C-level executives to attend the reporting. He found that the executives were overpaid limiting production.

In summary: too many Chiefs not enough Indians.

Said a fellow in liquor production ...

Said a fellow in liquor production

“I’ve a still of ingenious construction

the alcohol boils

through old magnet coils

I’ve dubbed it my Proof by Induction”

A friend of mine worked at a production line for a toy factory, producing Dracula dolls. Shortly before Halloween, demand was high, but he only had one colleague.

So he had to make every second Count.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elmo production is now screwed

So, a little old retired lady applies to the Elmo production facility for a new job listed as "Quality Control". She reports to work on Monday and by 10AM, the production line is at a standstill. The manager goes out to see what the heck is going on. He sees her at the end of the line with a whole c...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lead actress in the local theatre production of the "Diary of Anne Frank" was so awful

That in the scene where the Nazi officer enters and shouts

" Where isth she ? "

"In the attic" shouted half of the audience

I wrote a theatre production based on my vocabulary.

It was a play on words.

I once appeared in a theatre production about a very popular web programming language

JavaScript?

No, it was entirely improvised.

Milk production on a dairy farm has slowed down…

Management needs to figure out what’s going wrong, so they hire three consultants. A psychologist, an engineer, and a physicist.

The psychologist spends a few days wandering the fields before returning to the farmer and saying “The cows are stressed tf out. Give them a window for natural ligh...

I've got a job making plastic dracular figures but there's only two of us on the production line.

I have to make every second count

I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]

My dad is trying to get me to invest in joke production.

I'm pretty sure it's a punzi scheme.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a building contractor, recently I was hired to create a new set for a porn production company and told I have free reign over its design.

I was never a big fan of porn and was concerned I wouldn't be able to create a suitable set for such productions without guidance, but the client reassured me

"If you build it, they will come."

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call scat porn with poor production quality

A shit show

I'm performing in a theatrical production of the dictionary this weekend

Its a play on words..

I have a theory as to why the Cybertruck is taking so long to get in production:

They are experiencing an Elon-gated Delay!

Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary?

It's a play on words.

A farmer friend of mine got jailed for excessive hay production

I had to bale him out

If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.

He is going to make Americans grate again . . .

My CTO punished me for not having my new critical changes on production

All for the crime that I didn't commit.

I saw a stage production of "The Three Pigs" yesterday.

The pigs were pretty boaring, but the wolf really brought down the house.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did they stop the production of the air conditioned toilet seat?

Shit hit the fan.

I set up a production business for oils that clear up colds and nasal blockages.

An olfactory oil factory

Why were the Star Wars movies made in the order 4,5,6,1,2,3?

In charge of production, Yoda was.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's not easy being a pill tester at the Viagra production facility...

The workers are always hard at work.

What did Yoda say about the musical theater production that he hated?

"LAME IS."



Happy Star Wars Day.

You've heard that communism is seizing the means of production, but have you heard of cummunism?

It's when you seize the means of reproduction.

Milk production at a dairy farm was low, so the farmer wrote to the local university, asking for help from academia.

A multidisciplinary team of professors was assembled, headed by a theoretical physicist, and two weeks of intensive on-site investigation took place. The scholars then returned to the university, notebooks crammed with data, where the task of writing the report was left to the team leader. Shortly t...

What does a southern belle playing Magic the Gathering say when her opponent disrupts her mana production?

My lands!

Samsung is permanently stopping production of the Galaxy Note7.

At least it went out with a bang.

What did the tickle me elmo get when he left the production line?

Two test tickles.

The Apple iCar production has stalled

There’s been a lack of Jobs

Have you heard about the new movie set in a post apocalyptic world where the proletariat control the means of production?

They're calling it Mad Marx

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.