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Production Jokes

Apple is moving its production facilities from China to Thailand.

Say hello to iPad Thai.

Said a fellow in liquor production ...

Said a fellow in liquor production

“I’ve a still of ingenious construction

the alcohol boils

through old magnet coils

I’ve dubbed it my Proof by Induction”

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Elmo production is now screwed

So, a little old retired lady applies to the Elmo production facility for a new job listed as "Quality Control". She reports to work on Monday and by 10AM, the production line is at a standstill. The manager goes out to see what the heck is going on. He sees her at the end of the line with a whole c...

Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary?

It's a play on words.

I've got a job making plastic dracular figures but there's only two of us on the production line.

I have to make every second count

I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]

An Apple Factory in China is expected to cut production of iPhones by 18% in response to ongoing worker protests.

The workers' main demand is "more playtime".

What was the name of the mission to revive the production of dramatic medical plays?

Operation Theatre

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The lead actress in the local theatre production of the "Diary of Anne Frank" was so awful

That in the scene where the Nazi officer enters and shouts

" Where isth she ? "

"In the attic" shouted half of the audience

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What do you call scat porn with poor production quality

A shit show

I once appeared in a theatre production about a very popular web programming language

JavaScript?

No, it was entirely improvised.

My dad is trying to get me to invest in joke production.

I'm pretty sure it's a punzi scheme.

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My buddy started an amputee porn production company.

He calls it XYX.

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A porn production company finally hired me...

There was a lot of back and forth and I gave it my best shot!

If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.

He is going to make Americans grate again . . .

A farmer friend of mine got jailed for excessive hay production

I had to bale him out

I saw a stage production of "The Three Pigs" yesterday.

The pigs were pretty boaring, but the wolf really brought down the house.

A friend of mine worked at a production line for a toy factory, producing Dracula dolls. Shortly before Halloween, demand was high, but he only had one colleague.

So he had to make every second Count.

The Apple iCar production has stalled

There’s been a lack of Jobs

I have a theory as to why the Cybertruck is taking so long to get in production:

They are experiencing an Elon-gated Delay!

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Why did they stop the production of the air conditioned toilet seat?

Shit hit the fan.

Stop chicken mass production...

You're making them eggs-hausted!

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The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while bein...

I set up a production business for oils that clear up colds and nasal blockages.

An olfactory oil factory

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.

Indian motorcycles hired an outside accountant to figure out their declining revenue. the board of directors required all C-level executives to attend the reporting. He found that the executives were overpaid limiting production.

In summary: too many Chiefs not enough Indians.

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It's not easy being a pill tester at the Viagra production facility...

The workers are always hard at work.

So I just started my own indoor ship production company.

Production was great, until sales started going through the roof.

Samsung is permanently stopping production of the Galaxy Note7.

At least it went out with a bang.

What did Yoda say about the musical theater production that he hated?

"LAME IS."



Happy Star Wars Day.

I played the part of "tree" in my theater's production four times.

Guess I'm pretty well-rooted in the part.

What do you call an absurd comedic production that won’t end?

An unstoppable farce.

What did the tickle me elmo get when he left the production line?

Two test tickles.

M&M don't hire blondes for their production line...

...because they throw out the Ws

Why were the Star Wars movies made in the order 4,5,6,1,2,3?

In charge of production, Yoda was.

What brand of computer is best for music production?

A Dell.

A talk show host gets mauled by a tiger in front of the production team, studio and live audience

The zookeeper : "He likes him"

What do you call an earthquake during a production of Hamlet?

A Shakesperience

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Did you hear about that girl who keeps emailing nudes into the Black Mirror production office?

...well they 'bandersnatch'

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I'm a building contractor, recently I was hired to create a new set for a porn production company and told I have free reign over its design.

I was never a big fan of porn and was concerned I wouldn't be able to create a suitable set for such productions without guidance, but the client reassured me

"If you build it, they will come."

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.

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