A university student was sent to help increase the production of apples in a village.

He went their and met a farmer. He pointed at a tree and asked,"is that tree yours?"
The farmer said,"yes."
The student asked,"How much apple did you get from that tree last year?"
The farmer replied,"not a single one."
The student happily said,"I knew it. The soil is of very poor qualit...

My friends and I were putting together a musical score for a production of Hamlet

Tuba or no tuba, that was the question

I started a job making plastic Dracula figurines but there’s only two of us in the production line.

I have to make every second Count.

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It's not easy being a pill tester at the Viagra production facility...

The workers are always hard at work.

What did the tickle me elmo get when he left the production line?

Two test tickles.

Milk production at a dairy farm was low, so the farmer wrote to the local university, asking for help from academia.

A multidisciplinary team of professors was assembled, headed by a theoretical physicist, and two weeks of intensive on-site investigation took place. The scholars then returned to the university, notebooks crammed with data, where the task of writing the report was left to the team leader. Shortly t...

Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary?

It's a play on words.

What do you call an absurd comedic production that won’t end?

An unstoppable farce.

The Apple iCar production has stalled

There’s been a lack of Jobs

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My buddy started an amputee porn production company.

He calls it XYX.

when the cops raided the warehouse, the crack dealers were fast asleep while production was going on

this was a case of a rested development.

What did Yoda say about the musical theater production that he hated?

"LAME IS."



Happy Star Wars Day.

I am 100% behind Christianity and Biblical study being a part of the American education system

This way, we will have a steady production of atheists.

Janet Jackson wanted to sample a Future song so she asked his production company if she could use Beast Mode. The production company sent a representative to her door with a CD. She asked if it was Beast Mode

The representative said “Sorry Ms. Jackson, this is Fo Real”

I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.

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[NSFW] Gordon Ramsey: "F***ing hell, this tastes like someone shat on a piece of meat and then served it raw. What the f*** are you thinking asking me to eat this?"

"Gordon, if you don't want to give me oral sex, just say so. Don't make a production out of it." - His wife.

Did you hear about that girl who keeps emailing nudes into the Black Mirror production office?

...well they 'bandersnatch'

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There's plenty of jobs in the porn industry when you have a cock like mine.

Camera man, light and sound technician, make up artist, or even production manager.

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It's a good thing they shut down production of House of Cards

It's be too unrealistic to have someone playing the US president who has been accused of sexual misconduct.

I once went to theatre for a surprise...

As I sat down with my friend we eagerly awaiting what was promised to be an amazing, thought provoking production, acclaimed to bring us a better understanding of the world around us.

The lights darkened and the curtain rose, on the stage sat a single chair, and a thick book, a man came on st...

I played the part of "tree" in my theater's production four times.

Guess I'm pretty well-rooted in the part.

What do you call an earthquake during a production of Hamlet?

A Shakesperience

What happens when a communist gets the flu?

They sneeze (the means of production)

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A female journalist is taking a tour of a new science facility.

Scientist: Here at our lab we've been testing what would happen to GMO foods if, instead of producing foods with genes intended for fast production, we could develop GMO foods into potentially another form of species.

Journalist: That's interesting what foods have you tested this on?

...

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Seize the means of production

Or as we say in America, "Grab 'em by the pussy."

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I figured out Trump is actually a communist

When he said "grab them by the pussy" that's the head of state seizing the means of production.

A newly hired operations manager spends a week with the outgoing operations manager in order to learn his new duties and responsibilities.

As the outgoing manager gets ready to leave for good, he tells the new manager that he has placed three numbered envelopes in the top drawer of the desk. He tells the new manager that each time he runs into a crisis that he cannot solve to open an envelope, starting with the first one, and follow th...

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The actress who played the lead role in the local theatre production of “ Anne Frank’s Diary” was so bad

That the scene where the Nazis entered the stage and said "where is she" the audience shouted "she's in the attic".

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