UPJOKE
outputyieldcreationproductmanufactureindustryproducecultivationproducergenerationmakingindustrialfactoryoverproductionbook

Production Jokes

Apple is moving its production facilities from China to Thailand.

Say hello to iPad Thai.
upvote downvote report

Said a fellow in liquor production ...

Said a fellow in liquor production

“I’ve a still of ingenious construction

the alcohol boils

through old magnet coils

I’ve dubbed it my Proof by Induction”
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Elmo production is now screwed

So, a little old retired lady applies to the Elmo production facility for a new job listed as "Quality Control". She reports to work on Monday and by 10AM, the production line is at a standstill. The manager goes out to see what the heck is going on. He sees her at the end of the line with a whole c...

Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary?

It's a play on words.
upvote downvote report

I've got a job making plastic dracular figures but there's only two of us on the production line.

I have to make every second count
upvote downvote report

I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]
upvote downvote report

An Apple Factory in China is expected to cut production of iPhones by 18% in response to ongoing worker protests.

The workers' main demand is "more playtime".
upvote downvote report

What was the name of the mission to revive the production of dramatic medical plays?

Operation Theatre
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The lead actress in the local theatre production of the "Diary of Anne Frank" was so awful

That in the scene where the Nazi officer enters and shouts

" Where isth she ? "

"In the attic" shouted half of the audience

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call scat porn with poor production quality

A shit show

I once appeared in a theatre production about a very popular web programming language

JavaScript?

No, it was entirely improvised.
upvote downvote report

My dad is trying to get me to invest in joke production.

I'm pretty sure it's a punzi scheme.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My buddy started an amputee porn production company.

He calls it XYX.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A porn production company finally hired me...

There was a lot of back and forth and I gave it my best shot!

If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.

He is going to make Americans grate again . . .
upvote downvote report

A farmer friend of mine got jailed for excessive hay production

I had to bale him out
upvote downvote report

I saw a stage production of "The Three Pigs" yesterday.

The pigs were pretty boaring, but the wolf really brought down the house.
upvote downvote report

A friend of mine worked at a production line for a toy factory, producing Dracula dolls. Shortly before Halloween, demand was high, but he only had one colleague.

So he had to make every second Count.
upvote downvote report

The Apple iCar production has stalled

There’s been a lack of Jobs
upvote downvote report

I have a theory as to why the Cybertruck is taking so long to get in production:

They are experiencing an Elon-gated Delay!
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did they stop the production of the air conditioned toilet seat?

Shit hit the fan.

Stop chicken mass production...

You're making them eggs-hausted!
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while bein...

I set up a production business for oils that clear up colds and nasal blockages.

An olfactory oil factory
upvote downvote report

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.
upvote downvote report

Indian motorcycles hired an outside accountant to figure out their declining revenue. the board of directors required all C-level executives to attend the reporting. He found that the executives were overpaid limiting production.

In summary: too many Chiefs not enough Indians.
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's not easy being a pill tester at the Viagra production facility...

The workers are always hard at work.

So I just started my own indoor ship production company.

Production was great, until sales started going through the roof.
upvote downvote report

Samsung is permanently stopping production of the Galaxy Note7.

At least it went out with a bang.
upvote downvote report

What did Yoda say about the musical theater production that he hated?

"LAME IS."



Happy Star Wars Day.
upvote downvote report

I played the part of "tree" in my theater's production four times.

Guess I'm pretty well-rooted in the part.
upvote downvote report

What do you call an absurd comedic production that won’t end?

An unstoppable farce.
upvote downvote report

What did the tickle me elmo get when he left the production line?

Two test tickles.
upvote downvote report

M&M don't hire blondes for their production line...

...because they throw out the Ws
upvote downvote report

Why were the Star Wars movies made in the order 4,5,6,1,2,3?

In charge of production, Yoda was.
upvote downvote report

What brand of computer is best for music production?

A Dell.
upvote downvote report

A talk show host gets mauled by a tiger in front of the production team, studio and live audience

The zookeeper : "He likes him"
upvote downvote report

What do you call an earthquake during a production of Hamlet?

A Shakesperience
upvote downvote report

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about that girl who keeps emailing nudes into the Black Mirror production office?

...well they 'bandersnatch'

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I'm a building contractor, recently I was hired to create a new set for a porn production company and told I have free reign over its design.

I was never a big fan of porn and was concerned I wouldn't be able to create a suitable set for such productions without guidance, but the client reassured me

"If you build it, they will come."

A communist, like Karl Marx, says to seize the means of production...

Capitalist Donald Trump however, prefers to seize the means of reproduction.
upvote downvote report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.

Do Not Sell My Personal Information