I’m banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.

It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]

I just got a job in a factory making plastic Draculas

There are only two of us on the production line, so I have to make every second count

A farmer friend of mine got jailed for excessive hay production

I had to bale him out

I'm starring in a new theater production about puns

It's a play on words

If Trump wins a second term he will halt all shredded cheese production.

He is going to make Americans grate again . . .

I set up a production business for oils that clear up colds and nasal blockages.

An olfactory oil factory

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There is a factory that makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.

The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.   Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.   The next day at 8:45 is there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new E...

My CTO punished me for not having my new critical changes on production

All for the crime that I didn't commit.

A scientist was studying life extending properties through diet...

And realized he had the perfect formula for eternal life. He developed a special food formula which he fed to seagulls. Then he would feed their eggs to a pair of dolphins.

After 10 years on a diet of fortified seagull eggs, the dolphins hadn't aged a day. But there was one problem. Th...

I saw a stage production of "The Three Pigs" yesterday.

The pigs were pretty boaring, but the wolf really brought down the house.

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Why did they stop the production of the air conditioned toilet seat?

Shit hit the fan.

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A porn production company finally hired me...

There was a lot of back and forth and I gave it my best shot!

Pravda news from April 27th 1986

Glorious Soviet technology allowed workers at Chernobyl power plant to complete five year plan of power production in mere five milliseconds.

This Easter, the catholic church is sourcing all of it's bread and wine from a factory in China.

It's called mass production.

Did you hear that they're making a Broadway production based off the dictionary?

It's a play on words.

My brain is like an F-22 Raptor

Aging, no longer in production and spare parts not available.

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It's a good thing they shut down production of House of Cards

It's be too unrealistic to have someone playing the US president who has been accused of sexual misconduct.

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It's not easy being a pill tester at the Viagra production facility...

The workers are always hard at work.

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A well-renown, high-powered lawyer was just in a horrific car accident.

He was side-swiped, ripping the driver's side door completely off.

A police officer, who happened to be there, ran straight to the man. He found the him sitting on the ground against the wreck angrily swearing and yelling.

Officer: (Relieved the man is well enough to be yelling): "You...

Why does the communist economy always fail?

Because they cease the means of production.

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My buddy started an amputee porn production company.

He calls it XYX.

You've heard that communism is seizing the means of production, but have you heard of cummunism?

It's when you seize the means of reproduction.

What did the tickle me elmo get when he left the production line?

Two test tickles.

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Did you hear about that girl who keeps emailing nudes into the Black Mirror production office?

...well they 'bandersnatch'

I decided to go vegan after visiting the meat production factory.

The livestock conditions were appalling.
The process involving production of Meatballs and Salami was bad.
But wait till you see the one of German sausage. It was the wurst.

Edit : Sweden has already decided to bring in regulations. I'd say they are ahead of the korv.

Milk production at a dairy farm was low, so the farmer wrote to the local university, asking for help from academia.

A multidisciplinary team of professors was assembled, headed by a theoretical physicist, and two weeks of intensive on-site investigation took place. The scholars then returned to the university, notebooks crammed with data, where the task of writing the report was left to the team leader. Shortly t...

What do you call an absurd comedic production that won’t end?

An unstoppable farce.

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