What do you call a pleasing manufacturing warehouse?

A satis-factory.

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I had to take a job manufacturing double-ended dildos...

I'm just trying to make ends meet.

Apple is planning on getting into the electric car manufacturing business.

Only when their cars are finally out in the market for sale, it will be fully autonomous. The steering wheel is optional. It will be sold separately for $5,000.

What do you call an adequate manufacturing plant?

A satisfactory

Why is calcium vital in the brass instruments manufacturing industry?

because calcium helps build trombones.

A man who worked two jobs, archery manufacturing and mailman, was well known for his prowess in bed.

He could make them quiver when he delivered.

Today I was asked about my job manufacturing nuts and bolts

I told them it was quite riveting

The former governor of Alaska is contributing to the manufacturing of new unmanned aircraft for the Afghanistan War.

These quadricopters are going to be named "Strikekirts", which reads the same forwards and backwards.

Why?

It's because they are Palindrones.

I've started a glass coffin manufacturing business.

My friend asked me if I thought it would be successful. I replied "remains to be seen".

How will Trump add yuge amounts of manufacturing jobs?

He will build alternative fact-tories

My brother and I started a business manufacturing Dracula toys

I have to make every second Count

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What do you call a pansexual named Nick who works in CD manufacturing?

Pan Nick at the Disc Co.

Despite Trump's recent push to bring manufacturing jobs to the U,S., where are most of his Signature Series ties made?

Tieland

I recently had to sell my calculator manufacturing business.

The numbers just weren't adding up.

Whats the worst thing about manufacturing tabletops?

It's counterproductive

The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S manufacturing non-competitive...

Donald Trump, 2012.

I love the smell of abandoned commercial manufacturing plants.

I find it to be a pleasant old factory experience.

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Manufacturing Landmines

I started manufacturing Landmines in my basement thinking that it'd be cheaper than buying them, but it still cost me an arm and a leg

If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car...

Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!

Manufacturer closes before Christmas

The town manufacturer moved their operations to another country, to pay lower wages. The people who worked in the town, lost their jobs and were suddenly thrust into poverty.

An entrepreneur heard about this situation. Joseph P Klanta was operating several manufacturing operations. His s...

A man working at the Federal Reserve

A man working at the Federal Reserve was hired to manufacture pennies. On his first day, the supervisor walked him around the manufacturing area.

“This first machine melts down large blocks of metal. The liquid metal is then poured into a mold that makes a smaller block. That smaller block ...

The President of the U.S. receives a call from the Treasury Department.

-Madam President, we are upgrading the vaults where we keep the gold reserve. Three designs are finalists, but you need to select the one we will use.

-What are the options?

-The first one is a made of reinforced concrete surrounding a steel cage with a nickel content of 8%. The second...

Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true...

Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.

So the Pope is having a conversation with Aliens from Mars.

Pope: "Do you know Jesus?"

Alien: "Oh, Jesus. Great guy. He comes to our planet twice every year."


Pope: "Every year?! It's about two millennia and we're still waiting for his second coming."

Alien: "Maybe he didn't like your chocolate."

Pope: "Chocolate?"

A...

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There was a wealthy Jew who owned a nail company. His only son had just graduated from college and the father wanted to get him involved in the company.

He initially farmed the young man out to each of the departments; first research & development, then manufacturing, then sales, and in each the son was a dismal failure. Determined to find a place for his offspring, the father decided that his son needed his own project.

So the father pla...

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Piss Pop Piss Pop

A new shift manager was being shown around the Latex factory where he had just been hired. The plant manufactured various latex products, and had a reputation for using cutting edge technology in its manufacturing process.

On one side of the building, the factory made baby bottle nipples. The...

I've been fired from work for putting in too many shifts

Keyboard manufacturing isn't as easy as you think

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A dragon catches three men

A German, a Japanese and a Russian. Tells them he'll give them a chance to live if they survive his fire blow. They can also hide behind one object.

German goes first and decides to hide behind a steel plate, claiming he believes in manufacturing and quality of products. Dragon blows at him a...

A German, Dutchman , and a China man...

An entrepreneur manufacturing and selling his own product decides he needs a vacation but has no employees to run the business while he's gone.
So he hires a German and tells him he'll be in charge or manufacturing.
Then he hires as Dutchman and tells him he'll be in charge or selling everyth...

Corny joke

So a local state corn production and manufacturing company had an open house complete with free samples of their in house sweets and confectionery made from their finest corn.

The reception was fantastic and everything was going great, until one of the over zealous freeloaders (you know the ...

Two retired gentlemen meet while sunning themselves on the beach

They get to talking about themselves.

One says, "I was in the retail business. I started out with a tiny clothing shop, and through a lifetime of long hours and hard work, built my way up to a nice department store. Things got tough when the chain stores started moving in. Then, tragedy. A fi...

Need a joke about a refrigerator for work

I work in a refrigerator manufacturing plant and am giving a presentation next week. I would like to start out the presentation with a joke to lighten the mood. Anyone have any short, clean jokes about refrigerators?

A guy gets a new job working at a factory that makes 'Tickle Me Elmos'.

On his first day the foreman greets him and goes through the manufacturing process step by step.

When he's satisfied that everything is understood the foreman leaves saying he'll return at the end of the day to check over the work and make sure everything went ok.

So the end of the day...

How did the angel get on top of the christmas tree?

So one year, Santa was having a bad time of it. The reindeer were threatening a strike, the elves had to recall 30% of their toys due to manufacturing defects, all in all, just a frustrating time.

So Santa stood up and made a very LOUD announcement.

"I am going to my study. I'm tak...

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Man a Gets Job as 'Chief Tester' at a Durex Factory!

A man goes for a job in a Durex factory. The interview goes great and the lucky guy is offered the job immediately. The interviewer asks "would you like to see what you will be doing?" and the man agrees it would be good to get a feel for his new task.

They walk out into a large manufacturing...

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A Russian factory owner and his Japanese competitor meet up to discuss some business offers.

They produce the same kind of engine and talk about some details about the manufacturing process.

The Japanese man says: "I have nine people working on assembly, how many do you use?". The Russian actually has a hundred doing the same, but not to embarrass himself he says "I actually hire ten...

Nail advert

There was once a family run nail manufacturing company. One day, the father asked his son to create a poster advert for their company in an effort to attract new business.

A week later, the son shows his father the poster, which depicted Jesus on the cross with a caption that read "Guarantee...

Did you hear the one about the perfume store?

I heard their manufacturing was in an ol' factory.

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape the women's prison...

(I don't know why my friends like this one so much, feel free to tell them it's awful and confirm my opinion.)

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead escape the women's prison late one night. With the police hot on their heels, they decide to hide in an abandoned factory. Splitting up, they all ...

Invest Now!

Quick! Invest now! Theres a company in England that is now manufacturing landmines that look like prayre mats! The main factorty is in the middle east, where prophets are going through the roof!

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