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An upcoming director, Tim, is having dinner with two prestigious producers in a fancy restaurant.

The director sees Frank Sinatra in the distance walking into the men's bathroom. The director excuses himself and goes in after him.

As Frank pees in one of the urinals the director approaches him and says, “Mr Sinatra, I'm sorry to bother you, but there are two producers I'm trying to impre...

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Today was my first and last day working on a porno set. When I asked if we had any lubricant, the producer said “KY?”

Apparently it wasn’t okay to reply “because I’m fucking dry, hand it over!”

A group of movie producers are working on the next avengers/MCU movie

Producer 1: Does anyone have any ideas for the villain?

Producer 2: Ok, how about a 14 foot tall, flaming eye-ball, with poison swords for arms, who shoots lasers from his feet, and has a pet llama made of diamonds

Head producer: You’re over-thinking this, let’s just keep it low-key

There's a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.

The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!

"Why don't you order a G...

I earned an Oscar for being the best producer.

He was born and named yesterday after my long fight against fertility.

No matter what you think of the celebrities commenting on how we handle the current crisis, you should ALWAYS listen to music producers.

They give sound advice.

A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender...

A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender and is explaining how much money he is losing on his latest play. He knows it's no good but feels if he could get some awards people would start talking about it and wanting to go see it. He just needs to figure out a way to get this play to win...

Me: How much to buy a singing ensemble? Producer: You mean a choir?

Me: Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?

So The Beatles and their producer, George Martin, were in the studio......

Paul: Any ideas on how to end Hey Jude?

John: Nah

George: Nah

Ringo: Nah

George Martin: Nah

Paul: Perfect!

A Make-a-Wish child wanted to know, if his favorite TV show was staged or real. The producers told him that he will need to wait for a little longer.

Now he's dying to know the truth.

A horse is sitting at home, bored, watching MTV...

He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"

The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.

"Sure," says the ...

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An old one my dad used to tell...

An out of work actor gets a call from his agent one day, and the agents like "good news! I got you a part in a play! It's only one line, but it's the opener and could be your big shot! Okay so the line is..

'Hark, I hear the cannons roar'..
Got that? 'Hark, I hear the cannons roar"

...

After completing filming of License to Kill, Timothy Dalton was dismayed when producers told him they wanted him to retire from the James Bond franchise.

He pleaded with producers to give him just one more film but they already had his replacement lined up, a younger actor they felt was more suitable for the leading role in an action movie. But Dalton wouldn't quit that easily. He convinced the producers that if he could best his would-be replacement...

The Queer eye producers want to to run a spinoff show with the singer P!nk

But pink eye for the straight guy never really took off

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What do you call a producer with a bad attitude?

Moby Dick

How many film producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Does it have to be a lightbulb?

The producers of Pimp My Ride were on trial...

Included in the evidence was a photo from the set. Exhibit A: Xzbit's Exhibit.

Music producers are basically like a pizza business.

They both make dough from mixers.

I'm an aspiring music producer. The other day, I got recognized as I was driving around.

They said "Hey, aren't you our door dash driver?!" I gave them their food and drove away.

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