The ad reads: "MUSIC PRODUCER WANTED! Must be able to play piano, type 40 words a minute, and be bilingual. We are an equal opportunity employer!" So he decides to go apply for the job.
The hiring manager is pleased with his resume but says, "Well your resume looks good, but I have to admit S...
Steel producers are grappling with the high price of iron...
...they say it's a terrible ore deal.
(An ore-ful joke, I know.)
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
An upcoming director, Tim, is having dinner with two prestigious producers in a fancy restaurant.
The director sees Frank Sinatra in the distance walking into the men's bathroom. The director excuses himself and goes in after him.
As Frank pees in one of the urinals the director approaches him and says, “Mr Sinatra, I'm sorry to bother you, but there are two producers I'm trying to impre...
This joke may contain profanity. 🤔
Today was my first and last day working on a porno set. When I asked if we had any lubricant, the producer said “KY?”
Apparently it wasn’t okay to reply “because I’m fucking dry, hand it over!”
Bert and Ernie served as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years.
Bert and Ernie worked together as daytime radio hosts for over twenty years. They'd traded jokes, played pop music and generally made peoples lives a touch brighter as they trundled to their workplace.
Now though, there was a silence on the air. Ernie silently reread the fax from civil defen...
A group of movie producers are working on the next avengers/MCU movie
Producer 1: Does anyone have any ideas for the villain?
Producer 2: Ok, how about a 14 foot tall, flaming eye-ball, with poison swords for arms, who shoots lasers from his feet, and has a pet llama made of diamonds
Head producer: You’re over-thinking this, let’s just keep it low-key
There's a big conference of beer producers. At the end of the day, all of the presidents of all beer companies decide to have a drink in a bar.
The president of 'Budweiser' orders a Bud, the president of 'Miller' orders a Miller Lite, Adolph Coors orders a Coors, and the list goes on. Then the waitress asks Arthur Guinness what he wants to drink, and much to everybody's amazement, Mr. Guinness orders a Coke!
"Why don't you order a G...
I earned an Oscar for being the best producer.
He was born and named yesterday after my long fight against fertility.
No matter what you think of the celebrities commenting on how we handle the current crisis, you should ALWAYS listen to music producers.
They give sound advice.
So The Beatles and their producer, George Martin, were in the studio......
Paul: Any ideas on how to end Hey Jude?
George Martin: Nah
A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender...
A Broadway producer is telling his woes to a bartender and is explaining how much money he is losing on his latest play. He knows it's no good but feels if he could get some awards people would start talking about it and wanting to go see it. He just needs to figure out a way to get this play to win...
Me: How much to buy a singing ensemble? Producer: You mean a choir?
Me: Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?
A Make-a-Wish child wanted to know, if his favorite TV show was staged or real. The producers told him that he will need to wait for a little longer.
Now he's dying to know the truth.
After completing filming of License to Kill, Timothy Dalton was dismayed when producers told him they wanted him to retire from the James Bond franchise.
He pleaded with producers to give him just one more film but they already had his replacement lined up, a younger actor they felt was more suitable for the leading role in an action movie. But Dalton wouldn't quit that easily. He convinced the producers that if he could best his would-be replacement...
How many film producers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Does it have to be a lightbulb?
A horse is sitting at home, bored, watching MTV...
He's watching a heavy metal music video, and the guitarist plays an amazing solo. The horse says "that looks amazing, I want to do that!"
The horse goes to the phone book, looks up a music teacher and calls him. "Hi, I'd like to learn to play guitar." Says the horse.
"Sure," says the ...
The producers of Pimp My Ride were on trial...
Included in the evidence was a photo from the set. Exhibit A: Xzbit's Exhibit.
Music producers are basically like a pizza business.
They both make dough from mixers.
I'm an aspiring music producer. The other day, I got recognized as I was driving around.
They said "Hey, aren't you our door dash driver?!" I gave them their food and drove away.