UPJOKE
createmakegeneratedevelopoutputmanufacturevegetablefarmacquirefruitbring forthproductionbring aboutdeliveryield

Netflix announced it will be producing another 4 part docu-series on epilepsy

Don't miss the all new seiz'n

So, one large oil company have announced that they are going to be producing fuel from insect urine.

I think it is B.P.

A new experimental punishment for child molesters involves chaining them to electricity-producing machines and having them work 24/7

Researcers hope to be able to generate multiple pedowatts of power.

Montana State Golfer Warning

The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising golfers to take extra precautions, and be on the alert for bears while playing on Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forest’s golf courses.

They advise golfers to wear noise-producing devices such as little bells on th...

What do you call a hormone producing organ whose daughter had a child?

Glandma

I wasn't sure that Netflix would ever find success producing their own content. Then again...

Stranger Things have happened.

The studio is thinking of producing a remake for Green Lantern

They are waiting for the green light

Netflix is producing a documentary about the end of BlockBuster....

Thats like if the school shooters produced "Bowling for Columbine"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So a church needed a bell ringer…

The friar puts a sign outside that said ‘bell ringer wanted, tryouts Saturday morning’

Saturday morning rolls around, and there were three people lined up out front of the church waiting to try to ring the bell. A tall, muscular man, a skinnier, frail man, and an average sized man.

T...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A doctor requests a semen sample from an old patient.

He gives him a jar and a porno magazine but the patient is having trouble producing the sample. The doctor says he can go home with the jar and return it the next day filled with the sample.

The next day the old man returns and the jar is is empty

Doctor: "what happened? Still having...

I was furious when my wife kept producing eggs

But looking back it was clearly an ovary action

Apparently Tesla is producing a new cologne that acts as a strong pheromone,

They're calling it, "Elon's Musk"

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

A team of Ukrainian civilians is training with cardboard guns when the Russian army suddenly surrounds them.

Hoping to scare them off, one of the civilians points their fake weapon at a Russian soldier and shouts "Bang!" as loud as he can. Amazingly, a soldier directly in front of his rifle staggers back from the hit and falls over dead. The other civilians are astounded, but they realize that somehow th...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

After the war, Anne Frank went on to become a very successful farmer. She became famous for producing all sorts of goods including milk, cheese, and the most amazing butter.

It was the Dairy of Anne Frank.

Why are Welsh farmers no good at producing animals?

They only rear sheep

A sad story of duty, conviction and love

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the cathedral of Notre Dame sent word through the streets of Paris that a new bell ringer was needed. The bishop decided that he would conduct the interviews personally and went up into the belfry to begin the screening process. After observing several applican...

Did you hear about the plant in Baton Rouge Louisiana thats been producing spanish food since the 11th century?

It's a bayou tapas-tree.

So, Nintendo's stopped production of the Wii U and are producing their new console.

Looks like they decided it's a good time for a Switch.

A farmer notices his dairy cows aren't producing as much milk as they used to.

So the farmer decides to sell them to the butcher in town. The farmer and the butcher exchange plesantries and start to discuss prices for both cows. The butcher notices a strange smell and asks the farmer if he smells it too. The farmer says that on his way over with the cows his back started to ac...

Apparently there's a support group for cows who have trouble producing milk.

The cows go, talk about their feelings and build each udder up.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.