This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Lonely Farmer Decides To Get Married

He gets his mule and buggy and rides 20 miles into town. He looks around and meets a woman, tells her his intentions, and after a long talk they decide to tie the knot. They went to the court house and got married.

On the long ride home his mule gets tired and stops pulling. The farmer tries ...

a Frenchman sneezed paint onto a canvas

He showed it to a friend, who was astounded.

“Who’s responsible for this remarkable piece of work?”

The Frenchman smiled and said, “Mon nez”

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A big Welsh is sitting in a bar...

A big Welsh is sitting in a bar, ranting as he downs his pints. He pounds his hand on the bar, says "You see this bar? I built this bar with me own two hands, a finer piece of work you'll newver find, but do they call me Jones the bar-builder? No!!" and he downs his pint and buys another.

He ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:

**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**



And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...

Two guys are drinking in a bar and one says, "Man, I've really had it with my brother in law."

The 2nd guy asks what happened, and the 1st guy tells him, "He had to go to jail last night and he went nuts. He fought, kicked, screamed, and flung a handful of feces on the wall." The 2nd guy says, "Man he really sounds like a piece of work." The 1st guy says, "Yeah, that's the last time we invite...

An Army Ranger goes on a vacation...

Got this in a thread somewhere about the branches of the US military.

An Army Ranger goes to Australia for his vacation. He goes to a souvenir shop to get souvenirs, and wanted to get a crocodile skin shoe. The shopkeeper looks at him and tells him that he doesn't sell them. Frustrated, the R...

A man comes home from work...

...and walks upstairs to find his wife flushed, naked and panting on his bed. Bewildered he asks "What's going on?!"

"I think... I'm having... a heartattack!" she replies. In a panic the man runs downstairs to call an ambulance.

When he put down the phone is son is right next to him. "...

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