The New York Philharmonic was conducting a rendition of Beethoven's Ninth Symphony
If you are not familiar with Beethoven's 9th Symphony it's a tremendous piece of work, but the bass line is atrocious. Not because it is complicated, but because it goes like this:
**"bbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"**
And then approximately an hour an a half later it goes li...
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A Golfing Injury
A guy went out golfing and took a high-speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he dropped to the ground. When he finally got himself to the doctor, he said, "How bad is it doc? I'm getting married next week, and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."
The doc said, "I'll have ...
a Frenchman sneezed paint onto a canvas
He showed it to a friend, who was astounded.
“Who’s responsible for this remarkable piece of work?”
The Frenchman smiled and said, “Mon nez”
Two guys are drinking in a bar and one says, "Man, I've really had it with my brother in law."
The 2nd guy asks what happened, and the 1st guy tells him, "He had to go to jail last night and he went nuts. He fought, kicked, screamed, and flung a handful of feces on the wall." The 2nd guy says, "Man he really sounds like a piece of work." The 1st guy says, "Yeah, that's the last time we invit...
An Army Ranger goes on a vacation...
Got this in a thread somewhere about the branches of the US military.
An Army Ranger goes to Australia for his vacation. He goes to a souvenir shop to get souvenirs, and wanted to get a crocodile skin shoe. The shopkeeper looks at him and tells him that he doesn't sell them. Frustrated, the R...
A man comes home from work...
...and walks upstairs to find his wife flushed, naked and panting on his bed. Bewildered he asks "What's going on?!"
"I think... I'm having... a heartattack!" she replies. In a panic the man runs downstairs to call an ambulance.
When he put down the phone is son is right next to him. "...
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