UPJOKE
crossbreedmultiplyvarietyspeciescoverpedigreespawnbreederstockstrainpurebredmakeoffspringreproducecopulate

I have a bull that wouldn't breed with the other cows.

So I called the veterinarian and he gave me some pills for the bull. About 2 hours after giving the pills to the bull, he started breeding with all the cows, he even broke the fence and bred with the neighbors cows. I don't know what was in those pills, but they kind of taste like peppermint.

How do you stop a vampire from breeding?

Don't give it permission to come inside.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

i tried my hand at breeding chickens

Turns out they only like cocks

Pandas have finally started breeding together in captivity

According to staffers, the place just suddenly erupted into panda-moan-ium

I inherited my uncle's deer breeding business worth 50 million bucks

That's a lot of doe

I went to the Pet store to buy some exotic breeding birds

The Assistant said "have you got a Store card?"

I said no but I think I've just excited a Pelican

.......but we try to have a few outside interests as well.’

A woman from Chicago attended a party in New York where
the hostess was determined to make her mid-west guest feel
cheap and unimportant.
‘My dear,’ said the New York matron snobbishly, ‘here in the
east we think breeding is everything.’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the Chicago woman. ‘Wh...

A lot of people don’t know that Lisa Kudrow has a bachelor's degree in Biology

She was visiting an old school friend who was doing a research project on the genetics of rats and they were showing her their breeding pairs. “This is the Mama Rat A who has a gene sequence that makes her produce more young, and with her is the Papa Rat A who has a trait that causes him to sire un...

I've been breeding racing deer

Just trying to make a quick buck

I've been breeding non-aggressive Siamese fighting fish.

I call them beta bettas.

I failed my python breeding class because of a late assignment.

My homework ate my dog.

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Three guys participate in an annual contest of monkey breeding..

The rules are simple, each participant have an intercourse with a monkey, who can make the monkey give birth to most baby monkeys, wins.

Number three is the last 3 years champion and a natural favorite. Everybody bets their money on him.

First guy gets in an spends 4 hours with the mon...

Breeding Seagulls and Eagles has now been outlawed in the United States.

The rationale behind this was that the new creature became incredibly sick upon birth. People have been breeding ill eagle seagulls this entire time.

My hairdresser friend has started breeding dogs.

He calls them shampoodles.

I want to start a deer breeding business

but first I'm gonna need about 5000 bucks

I was out driving on a back road on my way to a friend's house party and suddenly,

I noticed a chicken keeping pace with me beside my car I was going 60 miles an hour and suddenly the chicken spurted out ahead of me.

It looked to me as if the chicken had three legs and then it turned and went down a side road and into a barnyard so I turned down that lane, and drove into th...

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The white cow is ready for breeding

The white cow is ready for breeding and little Jimmy's dad explains that the white cow needs a visit from the bull and that the brown cow is too young so they will need to keep it separated until it gets older.

Two hours later Jimmy runs to his dad and says "the bull just fucked the brown c...

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Farmer John and his bull

There was this farmer, Farmer John, who had a prize-winning bull.
Unfortunately, at the beginning of the breeding season, the bull had no interest in mating. Couldn't get it up at all.

Farmer John called Bill the veterinarian to come out and look at the bull. Bill checked the bull all over...

When I was younger I tried breeding rabbits...

it was a hare-raising experience.

Bought a pet rock. It looked lonely so I bought another. I dunno how, but they started breeding. Months later there was gravel and stones everywhere. I couldn't take it anymore and had enough.

Threw it all in a canvas sack, weighed it down with a couple of puppies, and tossed it in the river.

I had to close my ghost breeding business

After being convicted of 18 counts of murder

Based on a True Story: A breeding pair of crocodiles ate two European tourists in Australia

This actually happened back when I was a kid in the 90's: A French photographer and his friend from Czechoslovakia got too close to a nesting site and were attacked and consumed by a pair of crocodiles in Australia. The female ate the Frenchman.

The Czech was in the male.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A farmer bought some breeding pigs

but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.

The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pi...

I had to stop breeding rabbits...

I found it to be a hare raising experience.

A man was rravelling along a country road in his car, when a strange thing passed and overtook him.

Not wanting to be outdone, the man speeds up his car, but is unable to catch up to the thing. Just before reaching a side road, he sees the thing dissappear into some bushes at the side of the road.

The man turns off at the parallel road and stops at a farmhouse there. He gets out and rings t...

My wife and I went to the rodeo and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls.

We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year."

My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs. She smiled as she said, "He mated 50 times last year."

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, "This bull mated ...

Everyone says that as a nice guy/gentleman, I'm a dying breed and that I should be on the endanger species list.

I wonder if there is a breeding program for my kind.

Note: First time posting on r/Jokes

Making millions of dollars is like breeding rabbits.

It's much easier when you start with two.

What do you get by cross-breeding a jehovahs witness and an atheist?

Someone who pointlessly knocks on the door.

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