UPJOKE
reproductionoffspringprocreationbiogenesisproductionproducecreatepropagationcontemporariesmultiplicationcoevalsposteritybreedinggenerategen

Generation Jokes

9 months from now there will be a baby boom. 13 years later will give rise to the next generation, known as

Quarenteens.

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A fourth-generation prostitute goes home to her great-grandmother's house for a family dinner...

She begins complaining to her family about work. "Geeze! Men these days complain about paying $50 for a blowjob! It's hard work! I *earn* that money!"

Mom, who was a hooker in the 1980s laughs. "Fifty bucks!? You're complaining about that? When I was on the streets, we were lucky to get $20!"...

Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless

Just like me

What generation is Forrest gump from?

Gen A.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 generations of prostitutes are talking about how much they charged for oral sex

Daughter says she charges $100 because she's worth it. Mother admits she only charged $50 when she was active. To which grandma says "In my time we were just happy to get something warm in out bellies"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

There's boomers, millennials then GenZ so what's the next generation going to be?

Fucked.

If I had a quarter for every time someone over 40 told me my generation sucks...

Then I could afford a house in the economy they ruined.

Millennials being the first generation to grow up online should have been called Gen-E

But Forrest Gump ruined it for us

Generation gap

A mum texts, “Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?”
He texts back, “I don’t know, love you and talk to you later.”
The mother replies, “It’s OK, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister. Love you too.”

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!"

I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

Yet Another Gillette joke from a couple generations ago!

(Found in some old paperwork from my college days, 50+ years ago...)

A Nice Young Lady we know swallowed a Gillette Stainless Steel blade. Some time later her doctor discovered that NOT ONLY had she given herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, and a hysterectomy, BUT ALSO she had castrate...

After Generation Z, the next generation should be called generation AA

It would fit even better because they will be the generation to grow up with batteries inside everything.

Everyone knows of Yao Ming, one of the most iconic basketball players of his generation.

Far lesser known was his sister Rai, one of the preeminent female poets of her generation.

In what way is the future generation of fortnite dancers like alcohol?

They’re both depressants

Pass value down to the next generation

Buy them things with your senior discount

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Generational Trauma is bullshit

My parents belittled me for every small mistake or just being myself as a kid, and I turned out fine. I only have two felony assaults on my record, and I control my anger by making my son cry when I get home from work.

The next generation

Obi-Wan Kenobi, while hiding on the deserts of Tatooine, happened to meet a charming lady in Mos Eisley. One thing let to another, and soon they were expecting a baby.

As the baby boy was born, the midwife asked Obi-Wan what would be the name of his son.

"Obi-Two Kenobi, naturally"

Volkswagen and Toyota are building an EV for the current generation

It will be called ID. Yota

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 generations of prostitutes

3 generations of prostitutes are standing on a corner talking. The younger one says “You know guys out here are only paying $20 for blow jobs?”

The middle age one says “$20? Let me tell you when I started doing this guys only paid $5”

The prostitute in her 80’s perks up and says “You t...

What does Gen Z have in common with the Greatest Generation?

They consider it a great achievement if they survive childhood without getting shot.

My parents don’t understand my generation joking about committing suicide and said I wasn’t allowed to...

Me: all my friends do it

Parents: if all you’re friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too

Me: ok it’s bad enough that you won’t let me joke about it but you don’t need to be a hypocrite

Grandpa to his grandson: "The problem with your generation is that you don't like to work hard and pull yourself up by the bootstraps like my generation did!"

Grandson: "You guys could afford to buy boots?"

Grandpa: Your generation wastes too much in therapy!

Millennial: Don't worry, we just make up for the therapy your generation missed.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

It's been 125,000 generations since the emergence of human species, 7,500 generations since human physiology reached what is essentially its modern state, 500 generations since the agricultural revolution, 20 generations since the scientific revolution...

And 1 generation since I fucked your mom.

Just like you, progress is slow.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A joke for the older generations

So there once was this women by the name of Marge, who could never seem to snag a man to stay by her side for more than a year! She had many husband and would bear many kids with each husband. By the end of her fertility period she had given birth to a 100 kids! In order to remember all their names ...

What do you call an antique comb used to make braids, buns, and Celtic knots passed from generation to generation

Hair loom.

Generation Z is best known for being hard-working

...within the Minecraft community.

Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."

By a curious co-incidence, Kurt Cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."

I asked my dad what his parents' generation did to cure boredom before internet and TV existed

Neither him nor his 28 siblings had an answer.

I said to my wife the next generation is doomed for sure.

She asked why I was so sure about it.

I replied because we are the ones who would be giving them advice when we are old.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

So there are the baby boomers, generation x, and millenials. What do we call the next generation?

Fucked.

What do hillbillies call their relatives from past generations?

Their incestors


Came up with it myself. How did I do?

You want know why there is a shortage of last generation GPUs?

Sony and Microsoft are buying them up to make the next generation of consoles coming in 2030

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

My grandfather was complaining yesterday: “your generation is so fragile with your participation awards”...

says the guy who lost the war and still wears medals

How will the youth of the future mock the COVID-19 generation?

OK Zoomer!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever.

I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.

Two generations from now your grandkids might scrutinize this era and ask "really, grandpa? you really did that to the environment? Didn't you even recycle anything, come on???

Then with a grim expression on your face you scowl

"Fool, I was on reddit! I recycled everything at least 3000 times"

My job title is "Thermal Generation Engineer for Recumbent Structural Apparatus."

I keep a chair warm.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

The government reveals their new logo today....

The government reveals their new logo today, on a black background sit a magnificent image of a condom.

I guess it makes sense, seeings as how a condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while bein...

Childhood is like Pokémon.

Every generation introduces a new batch of cute monsters that just want to battle each other.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three Generations of Prostitutes

There were three generations of prostitutes all living together. The daughter, mother, and grandma prostitute. Upon arriving home from work one day, the mother prostitute asks the daughter how her day was! "Not that great" she replies, "I only gave two blowjobs so only made a hundred bucks"! The mot...

A whole generation will only know Billy Ray Cyrus for “Old Town Road”

And that breaks my heart. My achy breaky heart.

What do you call a bed that gets passed down through generations?

An heir mattress

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

As a zoomer growing up in this generation. I'm so fucked

And I'll still die a virgin

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

They say of rich Arab oil families that the first generation rides in limosines, the second generation drives SUVs, and the third is poor again.

Well that's what happens when you don't keep any Jews around to manage your money.

If you complain that this generation is a bunch of snowflakes...

Don't worry, soon there won't be snowflakes anywhere.

Kids from this new generation are just lazy, can’t do anything for themselves, cry all the time, and expect other people to do everything for them.

My daughter is already doing this and she’s only three months old.

3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...

The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her naked flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.

Wanting to see a panty-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked f...

In the old West, a lantern was often mounted on a horse for night time travel....

It was thought to be the first generation of 'Saddle-Light-Navigation'.

This pandemic has given a whole generation the time to work on their hobbies, and become very skillful at them...

... to bad these hobbies consist mostly of drinking.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Clint Eastwood says we’re the “pussy generation.”

Potty mouth.

Three generations apart, watching a soccer game

"Hey great grandpa, watch this soccer game!"

"Sure, which two countries are playing?"

"Austria - Hungary."

"Against who?"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Did you hear about that rare porn movie that has been hailed as an inspirational timeless classic?

They said it would inspire people for generations to come.

Our generation was so much nicer... I know because I grew up in Germany...

...and we were all kinder

Three generations were having brunch together

The grandson looks over at his newlywed wife and asks her, "Will you pass the honey, honey?" She giggles and passes the honey.
The father, not to be outdone, looks over to his wife and asks, "Will you pass the sugar, sugar?" She laughs, "You old charmer," and passes the sugar.
The Grandfather...

She was a Corbynite Labour activist, and he was a tenth-generation Tory

But in spite of their political differences, they found each other irresistible, and after a whirlwind romance, they arranged the wedding for a romantic day in the run-up to Christmas.

As it turned out, there was a surprise call for a General Election and their mid-week wedding day coincided ...

We made learning so much easier for the younger generation.

They now have schools with smart devices, digital textbooks, and online courses.

We even reduced the planets down to eight.

Every generation thinks the next one is not as good or hard working.

I'm not sure that's true, but we'll see what those lazy, freeloading teenagers think of the generation after them.

People always ask me how I know where all of this generation's money went

It's in tuition.

I hate when a generation refuses to work and still expect to receive government checks

Those baby boomers in Congress sure are entitled snowflakes

I know the shutdown is done, but I think this joke is funny and I made it up myself.

If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 50 said my generation was lazy.

I could finally afford to pay someone for original jokes.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Three generations of prostitute's were sitting around talking

The daughter say's that she worked all day and hardly made anything. The mother says that in her day, things weren't much better. Then the Grandma say,'' In my day, we were just happy to have something warm in our stomach''.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

3 generations of prostitutes were sitting around a table one night...

The daughter complains,"This year has been rough. I'm only getting $20 to fuck a guy!"

The mother pipes up and says, "Back in my day we only got $10 bucks!"

Then the grandmother speaks up and says, "During the Great Depression we were happy to just have something warm in our bellies."

So the Pope joined twitter so he can "Reach out to a younger generation."

He is certainly not the first Catholic to have done that.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.