Generation gap

A mum texts, “Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?”
He texts back, “I don’t know, love you and talk to you later.”
The mother replies, “It’s OK, don’t worry about it. I’ll ask your sister. Love you too.”

What generation is Forrest gump from?

Gen A.

The next generation

Obi-Wan Kenobi, while hiding on the deserts of Tatooine, happened to meet a charming lady in Mos Eisley. One thing let to another, and soon they were expecting a baby.

As the baby boy was born, the midwife asked Obi-Wan what would be the name of his son.

"Obi-Two Kenobi, naturally"

I had a joke for Generation Z about Social Security...

... But they're probably not going to get it.

The caretaker of a generation ship was on his death bed

Many years before, Jacques had helped place all his friends and family into cryogenic sleep. He was a young man then and they all knew that he would likely be long dead by the time they reached their destination. They said their tearful goodbyes and drifted off to sleep.

In the years he spent...

What do you call a bed that gets passed down through generations?

An heir mattress

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My grandfather was complaining yesterday: “your generation is so fragile with your participation awards”...

says the guy who lost the war and still wears medals

If I had a dollar for every time someone over 50 told me my generation sucks...

I could afford a house in the economy they've ruined!

9 months from now there will be a baby boom. 13 years later will give rise to the next generation, known as

Quarenteens.

You want know why there is a shortage of last generation GPUs?

Sony and Microsoft are buying them up to make the next generation of consoles coming in 2030

I asked my dad what his parents' generation did to cure boredom before internet and TV existed

Neither him nor his 28 siblings had an answer.

Humans have evolved to longer need heads, being mostly machine. However, one remained in a museum to be preserved for generations.

I guess you could say it was a head of its time.

Depression/suicide jokes are basically yo mama jokes of our generation — they're lazy, unfunny and useless

Just like me

What do hillbillies call their relatives from past generations?

Their incestors


Came up with it myself. How did I do?

According to my girlfriend I'm part of generation D.

"You are such a D-gen-erate!" she said

This pandemic has given a whole generation the time to work on their hobbies, and become very skillful at them...

... to bad these hobbies consist mostly of drinking.

A thug walks into a bar.

He sees a lone man sitting in front of his beer, crying.
He walks up to him, pushes him off the chair, slaps him left and right in the face and drinks his beer.

The man then started crying even louder and sobbing in absolute desperation.
The thug, annoyed, yelled: Why are you crying lik...

A man sitting in the hospital

with his newborn baby when his own father walks in.
Father: "So, how does it feel being a dad?"

Son: "It feels good. I'm a bit scared of course, but so excited at the same time. How does it feel being a grandfather?"

Father: "It feels pretty great. You've always been a good son and ...

People always ask me how I know where all of this generation's money went

It's in tuition.

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A fourth-generation prostitute goes home to her great-grandmother's house for a family dinner...

She begins complaining to her family about work. "Geeze! Men these days complain about paying $50 for a blowjob! It's hard work! I *earn* that money!"

Mom, who was a hooker in the 1980s laughs. "Fifty bucks!? You're complaining about that? When I was on the streets, we were lucky to get $20!"...

Generation Z is best known for being hard-working

...within the Minecraft community.

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Two boys in Egypt free a crocodile...

In a small village in Egypt lived two orphan boys, Set and Amenhotep. They always watched out for each other, well past their years of childhood and into their time as young adults.

One day, the two were walking outside the village when they saw a crocodile trapped in a poacher’s snare. The t...

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A politician, drug dealer, beekeeper, priest, doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer, prostitute, programmer, nurse, chef, forensic analyst, biologist, truck driver and a writer walk into a bar

It is a big bar. Very big one. And empty, or at least it was empty until this large group of people entered it.

They all form a queue in front of the bar and order drinks one by one. The politician gets a Heineken, the drug dealer orders a Budweiser, the beekeeper gets a mead, the priest buy...

How will the youth of the future mock the COVID-19 generation?

OK Zoomer!

3 generations of males went to an old-fashioned store...

The young man asked for a pound of raisins from the pretty lady behind the counter. She had to climb a ladder to fill the order, revealing her naked flesh under her short skirt. Then, she asked his dad what he wanted.

Wanting to see a panty-less beauty climb the stairs again, he too asked f...

Nine months from now, what will the name of the next generation of baby boomers?

The coronials.
#
^(You heard it here first.)

Three generations were having brunch together

The grandson looks over at his newlywed wife and asks her, "Will you pass the honey, honey?" She giggles and passes the honey.
The father, not to be outdone, looks over to his wife and asks, "Will you pass the sugar, sugar?" She laughs, "You old charmer," and passes the sugar.
The Grandfather...

I hacked my savegames from the first generation of Pokemon to teach my Starter-Pokemon fight. 15 years later I saw what I had created...

A Tenage-Mutant-Ninja-Squirtle

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A poor family lives on a farm and they rely on their chickens for income.

One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground.

"There’s nothing that could help get us out of poverty now," says the dad as he shoots himself.

The mom walks outside and sees the dad and the chickens on the ground.

...

What do you call the generation born during the coronavirus?

Baby Zoomers

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Cain, son of Adam, had a shit load of responsibilities.

Aside from being a farmer Cain was supposed to murder his brother and do a whole slew of other shit so that future generations could learn from his mistakes. The lord felt pity for Cain’s workload and assigned another human to shoulder some of the load. He called him co-cain. Co-cain helped him get ...

How to weigh a pig

A farmer is out in the field with his client, who is there to buy a pig, as they are walking along the client asks him, "how much does this pig weigh?"

The farmer pulls the pig out, puts his tail in his mouth and says, "she's 245 pounds easy."

Astonished, the client thinks he's being f...

When traveling India one of my hostel hosts invited me for his daughters wedding

At the wedding I shortly got to talk to the bride and I commented her beautiful wedding dress. She said she was the 7th generation who got married in this dress and it was her great great great great grandmother who had the dress made for her wedding back in 1982.

What do you call an antique comb used to make braids, buns, and Celtic knots passed from generation to generation

Hair loom.

My grandfather was complaining about how this generation is too reliant on technology.

Now me being the smartass that I am, called him a hypocrite, and unplugged his life support.

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Why do Boomers make the best sugar daddies?

They're the best at fucking future generations.


Edit: u/squee45 for the superior punchline.


Edit 2 electric bugaloo: You all wanted to know what the original punchline was, so it was "they're the best at fucking the next generation"

My job title is "Thermal Generation Engineer for Recumbent Structural Apparatus."

I keep a chair warm.

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The Wise Rabbi

A nazi once approached a Jewish rabbi.
"How are you jews so clever? Tell me or I'll kill you!" he demanded.
The rabbi stroked his beard. "Ok, I'll tell you, but first you must become more spiritual. Go and fast for 40 days. Each day, immerse yourself in freezing water."

40 days later, ...

One guy goes to India and visits a monastery

He saw some old monks meditating around the garden but was perplexed not to see any young monks around. "Is Buddhism dying?", he thought. Right after that, he sees a young monk entering a building with some bags of flour and sugar and decides to follow him.

What he found was stunning. On one...

After Generation Z, the next generation should be called generation AA

It would fit even better because they will be the generation to grow up with batteries inside everything.

My grandfather said, "Your generation relies too much on technology."

I replied, "No, *your* generation relies too much on technology" and turned off his life support.

Hey, why are they called "Generation Z" anyway?

Because they'll be the last ones left if we do nothing about climate change.

My parents don’t understand my generation joking about committing suicide and said I wasn’t allowed to...

Me: all my friends do it

Parents: if all you’re friends jumped off a cliff would you do that too

Me: ok it’s bad enough that you won’t let me joke about it but you don’t need to be a hypocrite

Catholics and Christians have waited generations for Jesus' return. Little did they know that though he's been here all along.

Because he's brown

Future generations increasingly find it harder to receive sympathy as they get sick

My grandchild was sick the other day and I asked him if it was the flu.

“No, it’s the new COVID-69.”

All I could say was, “nice.”

A whole generation will only know Billy Ray Cyrus for “Old Town Road”

And that breaks my heart. My achy breaky heart.

One day, Johnny comes home from school and asks his mother, "Mommy, how was I born?"

"The stork brought you here," says the mother.

"And how were my brother Joel and my sister Emily born?"

"The stork brought them, too."

"And how were you born?"

"The stork also brought me."

"Did the stork also bring Uncle George and Aunt Ruth and Cousin Evan and Cou...

"This virus will kill my generation."

"Ok, doomer."

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It's been 125,000 generations since the emergence of human species, 7,500 generations since human physiology reached what is essentially its modern state, 500 generations since the agricultural revolution, 20 generations since the scientific revolution...

And 1 generation since I fucked your mom.

Just like you, progress is slow.

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3 generations of prostitutes are standing on a corner one day discussing life.

The 19 year old prostitute says “Man what a rough day! I only got $20 for giving a blowjob!”

To which the 40 year old prostitute replies “20?! Back in my day we only got $5!”

The 80 year old prostitute scoffs and says “You kids got it easy with blow jobs today. Back in my day we were j...

“When I was a kid, I thought that everyone would pick one quote to pass on to further generations.

But now I realize that literally anything you say can be your famous quote”
— u/skillplants

This young generation with their computers and internet are so self absorbed.

It's all meme, meme, meme..

The next generation of the Nigerian email scam is here :P

Hello My Dear


Calvary Greetings in the name of the ALMIGHTY


I am Mrs Monica Gorgia from Switzerland I am married to Mr Joseph Gorgia who is a wealthy business man here in Burkina Faso. we are devoted christian.
We own a papermill in Nigeria where we currently have ...

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What do you call a nightclub only for those over 40?

Generation XXX

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3 generations of prostitutes were sitting around a table one night...

The daughter complains,"This year has been rough. I'm only getting $20 to fuck a guy!"

The mother pipes up and says, "Back in my day we only got $10 bucks!"

Then the grandmother speaks up and says, "During the Great Depression we were happy to just have something warm in our bellies."

She was a Corbynite Labour activist, and he was a tenth-generation Tory

But in spite of their political differences, they found each other irresistible, and after a whirlwind romance, they arranged the wedding for a romantic day in the run-up to Christmas.

As it turned out, there was a surprise call for a General Election and their mid-week wedding day coincided ...

A Jewish man goes to the Vatican

And demands to see the Pope, the cardinals and guards recognize this man from an old family from Jerusalem, and they begin to turn him away.

The Pope happens to be walking around and hears the commotion, and asks what is going on.

One of the cardinals tells him that this man and his fa...

"May your thousand generations be childless!" yelled my best friend in anger.

He never did think his curses through...

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They are a bunch of royal bitches!

I ran into a man at a pub near Buckingham palace. I watched in amazement, as he pounded down pint after pint, so I decided I would find out more about him.

I sat down next to him, and I offered to buy him the next pint. He agreed, and I took the opportunity to ask him why he was drinking so h...

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As a zoomer growing up in this generation. I'm so fucked

And I'll still die a virgin

My grandparents think that I depend too much on technology.

They always talk about how much my generation depends on technology, and my grandfather always mentions it whenever I visit them, so then I replied, “no, your generation depends too much on technology.”

Then I unplugged his life support.

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Studies show that young people these days are having less sex than previous generations

I knew I was ahead of my time.

Justin Bieber has said, "I feel like the Kurt Cobain of my generation, but people just don't understand me."

By a curious co-incidence, Kurt Cobain, contacted in a seance, said, "I felt like the Justin Bieber of my generation, so I killed myself."

I dont see why we need to leave our planet in a better state for future generations

The current generation cant get out of middle school before dying off.

Every generation thinks the next one is not as good or hard working.

I'm not sure that's true, but we'll see what those lazy, freeloading teenagers think of the generation after them.

If you complain that this generation is a bunch of snowflakes...

Don't worry, soon there won't be snowflakes anywhere.

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There's a little known legend about the Brothers Grimm: they wanted to write a story to rival The Ugly Duckling. For 'research' purposes, they bought a hundred ducks and released them into a cave..

..planning to return years later to document their behavior. Unfortunately both passed away before that, and the project was forgotten.


This information came to light hundreds of years later in 2>!XXX!<, during an investigation into strange quacking noises and numerous missing p...

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It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Home.

After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist!


Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance.

"Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time," said Claude.

...

If I had a dollar for everytime someone over 50 said my generation was lazy.

I could finally afford to pay someone for original jokes.

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What does a man do when he stays virgin for his whole life?

Invents calculus and fucks all the coming generations.

I hate when a generation refuses to work and still expect to receive government checks

Those baby boomers in Congress sure are entitled snowflakes

I know the shutdown is done, but I think this joke is funny and I made it up myself.

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Three generations of prostitute's were sitting around talking

The daughter say's that she worked all day and hardly made anything. The mother says that in her day, things weren't much better. Then the Grandma say,'' In my day, we were just happy to have something warm in our stomach''.

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Mellinials today definitely have it easier than previous generations...

My grandfather had to cross the Atlantic to punch a Nazi.

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A religious couple just got married and are about to have sex for the first time...

A religious couple just got married and are about to have sex for the first time. Just before, the wife looks at her vagina for the first time in years and sees that it is very large. Worried, she calls her mother. Her mother says it runs in the family, and that she should layer the inside of it wit...

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