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Why do platypuses get robbed so often?

Because they always have big bills on them.

A platypus walks into a bar where the bartender is a duck.

He finished his drink, and asked for his check.

Duck billed platypus.

What are Perry The Platypus’ pronouns?

Do Be Do/Be Do Bah

Ah, Perry the Platypus. Before I begin, I would like to assure you that this joke was absolutely not stolen. And of course by not stolen I mean COMPLETELY STOLEN! *activates trap*

Behold, My voice-changenator! This masterpiece has the power to modify people's voices across the tristate area! Watch as I merely post to my blog, and then any one who reads it is suddenly unable to resist even thinking in a voice other than my own!

What do you call a group of platypus in the Wild West?

A plata-posse

What's the difference between a platypus and a wildlife biologist?

Don't date the platypus; the males have spurs on their hind feet that are capable of injecting a venom that's extremely painful to humans.

What do you call a platypus wearing a tuxedo that takes out a loan to buy stock in a mortgage company?


What do you call a Russian Platypus?

A Blyatypus.

My five year old niece told me this one... What do you call a 60 foot platypus?

A platybus!

Why does no one buy food for a platypus?

They always have a big bill!

One Platypus

Many platypi

How do you beat Dr. Doofenshmirtz in a sword fight?

You parry the platypus

Golf Joke or Not

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf. Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s abou...

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