Why do platypuses get robbed so often?

Because they always have big bills on them.

A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.

He finishes his drink, and asks for the check.

Duck Billed Platypus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a cowardly platypus?

A platypussy.

What do you call a platypus wearing a tuxedo that takes out a loan to buy stock in a mortgage company?

Interesting

Ah, Perry the Platypus. Before I begin, I would like to assure you that this joke was absolutely not stolen. And of course by not stolen I mean COMPLETELY STOLEN! *activates trap*

Behold, My voice-changenator! This masterpiece has the power to modify people's voices across the tristate area! Watch as I merely post to my blog, and then any one who reads it is suddenly unable to resist even thinking in a voice other than my own!

What are Perry The Platypus’ pronouns?

Do Be Do/Be Do Bah

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock 2021

“Knock knock”
“Get tf outta here I can see you on my ring doorbell. I told you last week that I’m not into that shit”
“You can’t deny the chemistry we had last week” replied the guy in the furry perry the platypus costume

What do you call a group of platypus in the Wild West?

A plata-posse

My five year old niece told me this one... What do you call a 60 foot platypus?

A platybus!

One Platypus

Many platypi

Where does Perry the platypus go on vacation?

dubi-dubi-Dubai

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man walks in a bar with his dog...

....and the bartender warns him: “I'm sorry pal, you can't bring your dog in.”

The man thinks for a while and says: “Oh, this is just my seeing-eye dog. I'd better not split up with him”.

The bartender says OK and the man enjoys a few beers. Then he goes out and sees another man also...

Golf Joke or Not

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf. Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s abou...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A man is dating three women and is trying to decide which to marry. He gives each of them $5,000 to see what they do with the money.

The first has a total makeover. She goes to a fancy salon, gets hair, nails, and face done, and buys several new outfits. She tells him she has done this to be more attractive to him because she loves him so much.

The second buys the man a number of gifts. She gets him a new set of golf club...

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