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Platypus Jokes

Why do platypuses get robbed so often?

Because they always have big bills on them.

What are Perry The Platypus’ pronouns?

Do Be Do/Be Do Bah

Ah, Perry the Platypus. Before I begin, I would like to assure you that this joke was absolutely not stolen. And of course by not stolen I mean COMPLETELY STOLEN! *activates trap*

Behold, My voice-changenator! This masterpiece has the power to modify people's voices across the tristate area! Watch as I merely post to my blog, and then any one who reads it is suddenly unable to resist even thinking in a voice other than my own!

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A modest country joke [OC]

I once visited a small town. It was a country town. I asked the locals "What is there to do around here?" One of the old timers said "Well, we have a brothel."

So I went to the brothel and asked "how much does it cost?" They answered "Well, these are simple country girls, it costs a chicken f...

What do you call a group of platypus in the Wild West?

A plata-posse

Duck billed platypus.

Platypus paid duck.

A platypus walks into a duck’s bar. He finishes his drink and the duck gives him the check.

Duck billed Platypus

What do you call a platypus wearing a tuxedo that takes out a loan to buy stock in a mortgage company?

Interesting

What do you call a Russian Platypus?

A Blyatypus.

Why does no one buy food for a platypus?

They always have a big bill!

One Platypus

Many platypi

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Beaver Goes On a Date

A beaver goes on a blind date and meets a platypus. Things are going well, and they’re really enjoying each others company. Finally, they’re all done and they ask the waiter for the check. The beaver pulls out his credit card and the platypus responds “put that away, the bills on me”.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Knock knock 2021

“Knock knock”
“Get tf outta here I can see you on my ring doorbell. I told you last week that I’m not into that shit”
“You can’t deny the chemistry we had last week” replied the guy in the furry perry the platypus costume

How do you beat Dr. Doofenshmirtz in a sword fight?

You parry the platypus

Golf Joke or Not

Moses, Jesus, and a bearded old man are playing golf. Moses drives a long one, which lands on the fairway but rolls directly toward the pond. Moses raises his club, parts the water, and the ball rolls safely to the other side.
Jesus also hits a long one toward the same pond, but just as it’s abou...

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