A T-Rex and a Velociraptor are sitting in a bar

And the velociraptor points to a triceratops in the corner and says
“Why is he first to get served?”
And the T-Rex says
“Because he was herbivorous”

How do you find a velociraptor

Divide a distanceraptor by a timeraptor

Kids are like velociraptors

They're always testing the fences

Why can't we study the change of velociraptors over time?

Because then it would be an acceloraptor

How do you find a velociraptor?

By taking the integral of the acceleraptor!

Me: http://imgur.com/H8rLjub

Everyone else: http://imgur.com/J3hC4Ci

What did the velociraptor say after his workout?

I'm a little dino-sore.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What does it take to put a skirt on a velociraptor

Big balls and a Time machine

A velociraptor on long island...

I made this up the other day. I don't have high hopes but what the hell:

One day a velociraptor moved to Long Island. He was sick of life in the jungle and decided to try new things. Walking down the street one day, the velociraptor noticed a 'Help Wanted' sign resting on a diner window. Thi...

What prehistoric animal is the fastest at wrapping gifts?

The Velociraptor.

If a velociraptor is running..

and he speeds up, does he become an acceleraptor?

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do pandas say on Halloween?


That's the entire joke but this subreddit won't let me post such a short joke, so I'll tell a little story like one of those irritating-as-fuck internet recipe intros that gives WTMI.
My four year old is fascinated by finding the perfect joke. He'll often pick up on jokes from tv ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Jeff Goldblum is a given a chance to go back to Jurassic Park

Against all advice he decides to go and is airdropped from a plane on the island. On his way down he gets awe struck by the beauty of it all and forgets to chute till it's too late.

Luckily he ends up landing on something soft and squishy. After a brief moment of relief he realizes he's stuck...

What do get if you take the derivative of a Positioraptor?

A Velociraptor

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