What do you call a blind dinosaur?


(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)

What do you call a dinosaur that knows all the words?

A thesaurus.

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur.

Jurassic Pork.

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What's a dinosaur which recently had anal called?

A Mega-sore-ass.

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Why shouldn't you fight a dinosaur

Because you'll get Jur Ass Kicked.

The dinosaur at the museum

A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.

Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:

\- Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?

\- It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.

Amazed by his answer, he says:

\- Wow!, How can you be so...

Did you hear about the dinosaur that couldn't stop coughing?

It was a bronchitisaurus.

hey baby, are you a dinosaur?

because jurassthicc

Scientists say they discovered a rare breed of dinosaur known for infidelity

It was called Doyouthinkhesaurus

Why did the DINOSAUR cross the road ?

Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

What's a dinosaur's favorite type of file?

A RAR file

My parents said I can get a dinosaur for my birthday!!

Update: They gave me a parrot..

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Why couldn't the dinosaur masturbate?

T-rex style dysfunction

What is a Dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?


What is secret agent's favorite dinosaur?

A pte>!REDACTED!<yl.

A guy went to museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit.

A guy went to a museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit. He walks around the galleries and is quite impressed by the reconstruction of these ancient animals--a T-rex, a triceratops and more. He sees a guy who works for the museum standing near one of them and says to him. "They're quite a sight. H...

A new species of dinosaur that mates with its mother has been discovered

They’re calling it the Oedipus Rex.

What do you call a dinosaur that explodes?

Well I don’t know but the Dinomite.

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they're all dead.

What sound does a dinosaur make?

"I want this printed"

Why do you not fight dinosaurs?

Because you will get jur-ass-kicked! My daughter told me this one

Did the dinosaur era actually exist?

You bet Jurassic did

What do Sanders supporters have in common with dinosaurs?

Neither of them voted for Bernie Sanders

What did dinosaurs have that no other animal has?

Baby dinosaurs

I think vegans are scared of how the dinosaurs died

They where killed by a meateor.

What do you call dinosaurs with crippling anxiety?

Nervous Rex

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

A dinosaur dies and wakes up millions of years later being put together in a museum

He was puzzled.

What do you call a British dinosaur?

A tea-rex!

Just kidding, calling the Queen that would be a bit disrespectful.

What do you a call a dinosaur that drinks tea?

A Tea-rex.

My 5 year old likes to tell me this. It makes me chuckle.

What is Yodas favourite dinosaur?

A Do-ceratops...

Because there is no try.

What do you call a dinosaur that likes men and women


Credit to some dumb 14-year old on my school bus

I used to know alot of dinosaur jokes

But they're all gone now.

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked!

*Sorry if its lame but my niece just told it and i fell laughing*

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

Did you hear about the cross dressing dinosaur?

He decided to try Sarah's tops.

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What do you call a dinosaur that's just been bummed?


What do you call a dinosaur without gold?

A dinosr

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What would happen if you ate dinosaur poop?

It would make jur ass sick.

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today.

Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.


This is my first dad joke post :)

You think dinosaurs are scary?

Imagine dragons!

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What kind of dinosaur loves to take a shit?

A Craptor.

What do you call a dinosaur that never skips chest day?

Tyranno-Sorest Pecs

...I’ll show myself out

My wife told me to chill with the dinosaur jokes.

I told her Jurassicing a lot of me.

Yes it is terrible, yes I am a dad and yes ill stop scrolling and go to bed now. Salam my friends.

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur;


A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to ...

How do you hide a dinosaur from the government?

You take jurassic measures.

What do you call a dinosaur with a broken leg?

An owmilegisaur

What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?

Do you want some tea, Rex.

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What do you call a dinosaur who masturbates too much?


Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

Where to dinosaurs like to shop?

At the Dino-store

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you.

Husband: That's not true! Tell me one time I talked about dinosaurs

Wife: .......

Husband: (whispering) *She was silent, like the 'P' in Pterodactyls*

What's the favorite song of all australian dinosaurs?

TNT, cuz they're dino mate

Three dinosaurs found a magic lamp

They rubbed it and out came a genie.

"What do you wish, my esteemed dinosaurs?"

"Meat" growled the first one. "I want meat."

"You wish is my command". There was meat.

"And what do you wish for?"

"I want MORE meat. I want it to rain...

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Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh?

You bet Jurassican.

What do you call a dinosaur that just got done with a light workout?

A Kindasaur

What did the dinosaur say while it was being compressed?


What religion were the dinosaurs?

Non de-nom nom denominational.

Sorry folks this is an original by me and so corny.

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones.

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old these bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age ...

Many dinosaurs were very religious

In fact, prior to the meteor strike that killed them off, the most devout dinos were taken to Heaven. It was The Velocirapture.

What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor

Dinosaur joke

What do you call a dinosaur who can control thunder?


Sorry I thought of this and had to share, to find out if I had read it here or if it's the rarity of an original-ish joke

what came first the ckicken or the egg

the dinosaur

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What’s a dinosaur’s favorite porn?

Your-ass-thicc Park

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

What dinosaur is a writer's best friend?


What do you call a female Dinosaur with herpes?

A Gina-sore.
I am drunk and watching Jurassic Park. Forgive me if this had been thought of before, I assume it had but it made us laugh a lot. Have a great night!

A dog walks into a natural history museum

Asking for a piece of the new dinosaur exhibit to prove an important theory

In return the dog offered what looked like a tiny black speck encased in amber

The research assistant was visiting from Ireland and was very much out of his intellectual depth. Not wanting to seem ignorant, the...

What's the scariest kind of dinosaur?

A terrordactyl!

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