Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

Why should you never fight a dinosaur

You will get jurasskicked

Did you hear about the cross dressing dinosaur?

He decided to try Sarah's tops.

My wife told me to chill with the dinosaur jokes.

I told her Jurassicing a lot of me.

Yes it is terrible, yes I am a dad and yes ill stop scrolling and go to bed now. Salam my friends.

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked!

*Sorry if its lame but my niece just told it and i fell laughing*

What do you call a pig mixed with a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

I’ll leave now.

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My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow and I am genuinely terrified that the chute won't open.

Last time something that big hit the earth, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out.

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

Dinosaur joke

What do you call a dinosaur who can control thunder?


Sorry I thought of this and had to share, to find out if I had read it here or if it's the rarity of an original-ish joke

What do you call dinosaur without it’s gold?

A dinosr!

Why can’t dinosaurs play basketball?

Because they are dead

Since dinosaurs came earlier than humans...

They are pre-daters.

What do you call a dinosaur with a broken leg?

An owmilegisaur

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

What's the most polite dinosaur?

The pleasiosaurs

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to ...

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What’s a dinosaur’s favorite porn?

Your-ass-thicc Park

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

Three dinosaurs found a magic lamp

They rubbed it and out came a genie.

"What do you wish, my esteemed dinosaurs?"

"Meat" growled the first one. "I want meat."

"You wish is my command". There was meat.

"And what do you wish for?"

"I want MORE meat. I want it to rain...

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor

What do you call an English dinosaur?

Tea Rex

My battery powered dinosaur toy has stopped working.

I guess it just has a bad case of e-reptile dysfunction.

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

What do you call a female Dinosaur with herpes?

A Gina-sore.
I am drunk and watching Jurassic Park. Forgive me if this had been thought of before, I assume it had but it made us laugh a lot. Have a great night!

Two dinosaurs are involved in a traffic accident. The diplodocus spins off, but luckily comes to a stop on the verge without too much damage.

Unfortunately the Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

What did the dinosaur say to his girlfriend?

You put the “ass” in Triassic

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Why did dinosaurs have sex in water?

You try keeping a ten ton pussy wet.

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What do you call a dinosaur that uses hemorrhoid cream ?

Mega sore arse

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today.

Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.


This is my first dad joke post :)

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

Why did the dinosaur newspaper shut down?

It's ratings were killed off by social meteor!

What do you call a dinosaur that likes to work out?


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What do you call 4 dinosaurs having sex?

A roar-some (I suck at jokes)

What kind of dinosaur avoids manual labour?


What do you call a dinosaur good at healing burns?

An aloesaurus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh?

You bet Jurassican.

Scientists recently dicovered a new dinosaur that was very intelligent

Its called Thesaurus

What do the moon landing, JFK, and dinosaurs have in common?

they were all shot from above

What did the paleontologist call his newest dinosaur discovery, after running out of new or interesting names?

The Saurus

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

Why don't dinosaur talk?

they are already dead.

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What do you call a dinosaur that can’t reach to masturbate

Rexually frustrated

What do you call a dinosaur with a negative attitude?

*a minusaur*

What do you call a cross between an academic and a dinosaur?

A philosoraptor.

Or... tenured.

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

What road?

Why is it a bad idea picking a fight with a Dinosaur?

Because you will most likely end up getting jurasskicked.

What do you call a female dinosaur doctor?

A Dinocologist.

What's the scariest kind of dinosaur?

A terrordactyl!

What’s a dinosaur’s least favourite reindeer?


An archaeologist recently uncovered dinosaur bones in Iran.

Upon further research, they concluded that the bones belonged to to the prehistoric *Tehran*osaurus Rex.

65,000,011 years ago

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know th...

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?

Anything you want. He can’t hear you

What do you call a sick dinosaur?

A Throatisorus.

Courtesy of my little daughter.. just kidding I made it up myself.

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in back?


Which dinosaur is the strongest in the UK?

Tea- rex

What kind of Dinosaur has the largest vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

"There are dinosaur bones buried out back!", I told my kids.

It's not my fault we couldn't afford a proper burial for their grandmother.

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What is the gayest dinosaur?


What do you call a dinosaur that ate too much sugar


What do you call a dinosaur who seeks to be one with the universe?

Philosopher raptor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Which dinosaur was gay?


This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

How would the Nazis have killed the dinosaurs?

With meteor showers.

What’s a dinosaur’s favourite genre of music?

Space Rock, but they don’t mind death metal.

Dinosaur file transfer

How does a dinosaur send files from one computer to another?

First, he puts them in a .RAR

What did the depressive dinosaur do when it saw the meteor?

It made a wish.

Which dinosaur was the expert judge in matters of taste?

The Connoissaur

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye ?

A dinosaur, what else would you call it, you sick fuck, what's wrong with you, making fun of the disabled?

Blonde: 50% chance to meet a dinosaur

Question to a blonde:

\--What are the chances that you will meet a dinosaur in the street?



\--Well, either I meet him, or I do not meet him.

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