This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My wife is doing a sponsored parachute jump tomorrow and I am genuinely terrified that the chute won't open.

Last time something that big hit the earth, the fucking dinosaurs got wiped out.

Three dinosaurs find a magic lamp with a genie inside.

The genie says “I can give you all one wish. Anything your heart desires!”

The first dinosaur says “I want a big piece of juicy meat!” And he is given the biggest piece of meat for miles.

The second dinosaur, in an attempt to one up the first says “I want a meat shower!” And he is show...

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to ...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call 4 dinosaurs having sex?

A roar-some (I suck at jokes)

What did the dinosaur say while it was being compressed?

RAR.

What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

What did the paleontologist call his newest dinosaur discovery, after running out of new or interesting names?

The Saurus

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today.

Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.

Myneckisaur.

This is my first dad joke post :)

Why don't dinosaur talk?

they are already dead.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh?

You bet Jurassican.

Why is it a bad idea picking a fight with a Dinosaur?

Because you will most likely end up getting jurasskicked.

What do the moon landing, JFK, and dinosaurs have in common?

they were all shot from above

What do you call a female dinosaur doctor?

A Dinocologist.

What's the scariest kind of dinosaur?

A terrordactyl!

What do you call a sick dinosaur?

A Throatisorus.

Courtesy of my little daughter.. just kidding I made it up myself.

What do you call a Dinosaur named Tyrone?

Tyronosaurus Rex

What’s a dinosaur’s least favourite reindeer?

Comet

An archaeologist recently uncovered dinosaur bones in Iran.

Upon further research, they concluded that the bones belonged to to the prehistoric *Tehran*osaurus Rex.

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in back?

A-MEGA-SORE-ASS

"There are dinosaur bones buried out back!", I told my kids.

It's not my fault we couldn't afford a proper burial for their grandmother.

What kind of Dinosaur has the largest vocabulary?

A thesaurus.

What is a Latino's 3rd favourite dinosaur?

*Terceratops*

Which dinosaur is the strongest in the UK?

Tea- rex

What do you call a dinosaur that ate too much sugar

Cankersaurus

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What is the gayest dinosaur?

Megasaurus

65,000,011 years ago

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know th...

What do you call a dinosaur who seeks to be one with the universe?

Philosopher raptor

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Which dinosaur was gay?

Mega-sore-ass

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

How would the Nazis have killed the dinosaurs?

With meteor showers.

What do you call a Dinosaur that gets into an accident?

Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

What’s a dinosaur’s favourite genre of music?

Space Rock, but they don’t mind death metal.

Which dinosaur was the expert judge in matters of taste?

The Connoissaur

Where do dinosaurs like to go for fun?

The Rex center.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye ?

A dinosaur, what else would you call it, you sick fuck, what's wrong with you, making fun of the disabled?

Dinosaur file transfer

How does a dinosaur send files from one computer to another?

First, he puts them in a .RAR

Blonde: 50% chance to meet a dinosaur

Question to a blonde:

\--What are the chances that you will meet a dinosaur in the street?

\--50%.

\--?

\--Well, either I meet him, or I do not meet him.

What happens when you mix a lemon and a dinosaur?

You get a Tyrannosourest Rex

Whats a dinosaurs favorite food?

Primordial Soup.

What do gingers and extinct dinosaurs have in common?

Not enough.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

2 Dinosaurs were sat on a beach watching as a ship sailed into the sunset

One dinosaur turns to the other and says "That Noah's a bit of a twat isn't he."

Chuck Norris once almost tripped over the tail of a dinosaur.

Today we call it the Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction event.

Why were dinosaurs so big?

Because Jurassic times call for Jurassic measures.

What do you call a dinosaur who likes crossdressing?

Try Sarah’s Tops

What's a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?

Comet.

I used to be interested in dinosaurs as a kid, but I'm more into birds now.

I guess you could say my interests have really evolved.

Dinosaur

Dinosaur : I ran into a girl at a vegan restaurant.

But i never met herbivore.

What is a physicist favorite dinosaur?

A velocity raptor.

Two dinosaurs standing on a cliff

As they're looking out to sea, an ark floats past. One dinosaur turns to the other one and says,


'Oh, was that today?'

My 7yo loved the dinosaur joke so much he wanted to share his joke:

What do you call a 3 humped camel?



Pregnant...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Where do baby dinosaurs come from?

Tyrannosaurus Sex

Today the authorities busted the local T-Rex shop, causing a huge uproar amongst the dinosaur community

Apparently he was a small-arms dealer

What dinosaur is known by many names

A Thesaurus

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

TIL that dinosaurs used hot springs to take baths

But as time advanced they moved onto meteor showers.

Can a joke about dinosaurs make you laugh?

You bet jurassic can