What’s the saltiest dinosaur?

Tyrano Sore Ass

My 4 year old daughters joke: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A Dinosnore.

A couple is taking a tour through the Natural History Museum. They ask the tour guide: "How old is this dinosaur skeleton?"

He replies: "It is sixty five million and fourteen years and three months old."

"Wow! It's amazing that you can tell this precise. How do you do that? Is it with carbon dating?"

"I don't know" says the guide. "But when I first came here they told me it was sixty five million years old....

How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?

Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.

How does a dinosaur like it's meat?

Rawr.

How do you turn a dinosaur into a horse?

Use an internal combustion engine

LPT: Do not pick a fight with a dinosaur.

You'll get jurasskicked.

Did you hear about the dinosaur who couldn’t please his wife?

He suffered from a reptile disfunction.

Why did the dinosaurs become extinct?

Because of ereptile dysfunction.

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

What do you get if a dinosaur kicks you in the backside?

Megasoreass

I asked my Wife if she was annoyed because I keep talking about Dinosaurs.

But she remained silent, like the 'P' in Pterodactyl.

I discovered a new dinosaur after getting my booster shot...

The Armisaur

Which drug should dinosaurs never take?

A steroid.

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today. Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.

Myneckisaur.

Did you see the movie about the dinosaurs that couldn’t find the herbs?

It was the land before thyme.

A scared dinosaur walks into an IT lab.

He took a terabyte.

what do you call a carnivorous dinosaur who falls in love with his own mother?

Oedipus Rex

My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts?

That was a blast from the past!

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

What is Yoda's favorite dinosaur?

The Do-ceratops. There is no tri.

If Jesus Christ was a dinosaur..

He'd be Tyrannosaurus Resurrex

Why can't dinosaurs speak?

Because they're dead.

What do you call a dinosaur that can travel anywhere on Earth?

All-Terrainnosaurus Rex

What is a catholic priest dinosaur called?

Fathergavemeasaurass

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Scientists have discovered that some dinosaurs were homosexual in a recent discovery

Megasaurarse will be coming to a museum near you

What do you call it when all the dinosaurs go to heaven?

Velocirapture

What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes ?

A doyathinkhesaurus !

We tried to tell the dinosaurs that they were headed for extinction

but it was all in one era and out the other.

What do you call a Dinosaur who contemplates the meaning of life?

A Philophosaurus.

An asteroid killed all the dinosaurs

You could also say it killed many birds with one stone.

Where does a dinosaur keep his underwear?

DRAWR

Which dinosaur does the government of the People's Republic of China hate?

Taiwanasaurus

I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten.

It was a mass egg-stink-tion!

Paleontologists are having a party to celebrate unearthing the largest ever dinosaur Tibia.

It's going to be quite the shindig.

Paleontologists are celebrating the finding of the largest dinosaur tibia in recorded history

It's a real shin-dig!

What's the name of the oldest dinosaur?

The Mybachisaurus

What do you get if you crossbreed a dinosaur with a lemon?

A dinosour

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn’t the dinosaur play baseball?

Because it’s fucking dead.

My friends think that your name represents what you should do in life. Dina worked to find a dinosaur fossil, and Jack became a lumberjack,

We don’t talk about Cliff.

Q: Which dinosaur is the most polite?

A: The please-u-saur.

Which dinosaur is the worst driver?

T-Wrecks

Why do dinosaurs make bad pets?

Because they’re all dead.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

I was carbon-dating a dinosaur the other day, trying to figure out what era it was from

Upon closer inspection, I realised that it didn't have the 3 anuses I was expecting, so I ruled out the Triassic period

What do you call a dinosaur with a great vocabulary?

A thesaurus

What do you call a dinosaur that needs glasses?

A Douthinkhesaurus

"Hello, you here to talk to me about Dinosaurs?"

Answer the door and see that its a sale man from an internet service provider. They have stopped at my house ten times in the last year to tell me about the digging in my area and I decided to have some fun with them today. Here is the conversation from today:

Me: Hello, you here to talk to m...

Wooden mice

One day a Ukrainian man walked into his favorite bar and asked his friend the bartender to spot him a beer until payday. The bartender told him, I\`m sorry my friend . I would but the owner has put in these new cameras to watch what we do. I would get caught and fired. The Ukrainian man says, that\`...

I think my English teacher is a dinosaur

Because he said he is a walking thesaurus

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens were not invented yet

I was driving my son to pre-school and he was having fun making dinosaur sounds.

"ROAR!" he yelled.

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked.

"T Rex!"

Then he said, "HONK!"

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Triceratops," he said.

"Why does a Triceratops honk?"

And he said, "Because it has horns!"

What do you call a dinosaur that teaches preschool?

A Montessaurus!

What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?

Comet

What does a dinosaur who can't get hard have?

E-reptile dysfunction

What do you call a Dinosaur that wakes up early in the morning.

An AssCrackaDon.

Have you heard the story about the dinosaur who found love?

It hit me right in the fuels.

What dinosaur can't you hear go to the bathroom?

All of them, they're all dead.

What do you call a flying dinosaur that uses its hands to see?

A tactiledactyl

Where did the dinosaur have their Bar Mitzvah?

Jewrassic Park

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a dinosaur which recently had anal called?

A Mega-sore-ass.

What did dinosaurs prefer to use to pay for their purchases?

Obviously tyrannosaurus cheques.

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

A Do-you-think-he-saurus

I always know

when they use fake dinosaurs in movies

Dinosaurs really got wiped out by a rock

Shoulda picked paper

Why do dinosaurs like sushi?

Because they like their food ROAR!!!

On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods.

You'll get Jurasskicked.

A joke from my 5 year old: "Know what really killed the dinosaurs? TNT!"

"That's why it's called Dino-mite!!"

What is a dinosaurs favourite deodorant

REXona

The new director of the Natural History museum wanted to attract more people, so they started giving dinosaur vertebrae away to newcomers.

Everyone was taken aback.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What sound would Gordon Ramsay make if he were a dinosaur?

ITS FUCKING RAW!

Dinosaur Age

There is a dinosaur in the British museum that is 3 million and 24 years old.

I know this because when I visited it 24 years ago, it was 3 million years old.

What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

What does an aggressive computer dinosaur do?

An aggressive computer dinosaur goes **.rar** to assert its dominance

A guy went to museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit.

A guy went to a museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit. He walks around the galleries and is quite impressed by the reconstruction of these ancient animals--a T-rex, a triceratops and more. He sees a guy who works for the museum standing near one of them and says to him. "They're quite a sight. H...

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

Just came home from my first paleontology party where we spent the night searching for the lower leg bone of a new dinosaur.

It was quite the shin dig.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Dinosaur's cumshot?

A blast from the past....

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(a steroid overdose)

Why did the dinosaurs girlfriend get pregnant?

Because they did it rawr.

Three dinosaurs stumble upon a lamp in the desert.

One of them rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. "In exchange for freeing me, I shall grant each of you one wish," said the genie.

Excited and clamoring amongst each other, the dinosaurs began to dream of meat.

The first one piped up, "I wish it would rain pepperoni and drumsticks!" The...

How do you blow up a dinosaur?

With Dinomite.

Dinosaurs didn’t go extinct

They found Jesus and got raptored

What did the weak dinosaur say to the other buff dinosaur?

I don't like a-steroids.

It's my cake day and I don't know any new jokes so. Here are some old jokes I use to love as a kid

1. What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
Answer = A stick.

2. What does a cloud wear under his raincoat?
Answer = Thunderwear.

3. Two pickles fell out of a jar onto the floor. What did one say to the other?
Answer = Dill with it.

4. What time is it when the...

How can you tell a dinosaur is an herbivore?

They will tell you within three minutes of meeting them and remind you every fifth sentence.

What kind of dinosaur is best at seeing the future?

A tarot-dactyl!

After the dinosaurs died out, mammals became the dominant life form.

Unlike dinosaurs, which had scales and feathers, mammals are covered in fur.

I guess you could say things got a little bit hairy after the asteroud hit.

What do you call a Dinosaur that's also a witch?

A Tyranosaurus-Hex.

What was the last thing the dinosaurs said before going extinct?

Edit: Wow thanks for the support guys, this comet really blew up.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why didn't they let Yoda name the dinosaurs?

Because the do-or-do-not-ceratops sounds fucking stupid.

I read that the three most popular Halloween costumes this year are clown, pumpkin, and dinosaur.

I'm capitalizing on this trend by selling costumes of Trump.

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.