A guy went to museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit.

A guy went to a museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit. He walks around the galleries and is quite impressed by the reconstruction of these ancient animals--a T-rex, a triceratops and more. He sees a guy who works for the museum standing near one of them and says to him. "They're quite a sight. H...

What sound does a dinosaur make?

"I want this printed"

Why do you not fight dinosaurs?

Because you will get jur-ass-kicked! My daughter told me this one

What do you call a dinosaur with many names?

A thesaurus

Why can’t dinosaurs clap?

Because they're all dead.

What did dinosaurs have that no other animal has?

Baby dinosaurs

Did the dinosaur era actually exist?

You bet Jurassic did

What do you call dinosaurs with crippling anxiety?

Nervous Rex

What is a Dinosaurs least favorite reindeer?

Comet.

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

A dinosaur dies and wakes up millions of years later being put together in a museum

He was puzzled.

What did the dinosaurs sound like?

"You should pull yourself up by your bootstraps and go to a trade school."

I used to know alot of dinosaur jokes

But they're all gone now.

What do you call a British dinosaur?

A tea-rex!

Just kidding, calling the Queen that would be a bit disrespectful.

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

What is Yodas favourite dinosaur?

A Do-ceratops...

Because there is no try.

What do you a call a dinosaur that drinks tea?

A Tea-rex.

My 5 year old likes to tell me this. It makes me chuckle.

What do you call a dinosaur that likes men and women

Birexual



Credit to some dumb 14-year old on my school bus

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked!

*Sorry if its lame but my niece just told it and i fell laughing*

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What would happen if you ate dinosaur poop?

It would make jur ass sick.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur that's just been bummed?

Mega-sore-arse

You think dinosaurs are scary?

Imagine dragons!

What do you call a dinosaur that never skips chest day?

Tyranno-Sorest Pecs

...I’ll show myself out

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What kind of dinosaur loves to take a shit?

A Craptor.

What do you call a one eyed dinosaur;

Doyouthinkhesaurus

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

Did you hear about the cross dressing dinosaur?

He decided to try Sarah's tops.

My wife told me to chill with the dinosaur jokes.

I told her Jurassicing a lot of me.

Yes it is terrible, yes I am a dad and yes ill stop scrolling and go to bed now. Salam my friends.

How do you hide a dinosaur from the government?

You take jurassic measures.

What do you call a dinosaur who lost their gold?

A dinosr

What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur

Tyrannosourest Rex

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today.

Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.

Myneckisaur.

This is my first dad joke post :)

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you.

Husband: That's not true! Tell me one time I talked about dinosaurs

Wife: .......

Husband: (whispering) *She was silent, like the 'P' in Pterodactyls*

What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?

Do you want some tea, Rex.

What do you call a dinosaur with a broken leg?

An owmilegisaur

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur who masturbates too much?

VelociFAPtor

What's the favorite song of all australian dinosaurs?

TNT, cuz they're dino mate

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to ...

What religion were the dinosaurs?

Non de-nom nom denominational.

Sorry folks this is an original by me and so corny.

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

What do you call a dinosaur that just got done with a light workout?

A Kindasaur

Three dinosaurs found a magic lamp

They rubbed it and out came a genie.



"What do you wish, my esteemed dinosaurs?"



"Meat" growled the first one. "I want meat."


"You wish is my command". There was meat.


"And what do you wish for?"


"I want MORE meat. I want it to rain...

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Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh?

You bet Jurassican.

What did the dinosaur say while it was being compressed?

RAR.

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones.

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old these bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age ...

What do you call a pig mixed with a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

I’ll leave now.

"I wish i had enough money to buy a dinosaur"

"What would you do with a dinosaur?"

"Who wants a dinosaur? i just want the money."

Many dinosaurs were very religious

In fact, prior to the meteor strike that killed them off, the most devout dinos were taken to Heaven. It was The Velocirapture.

Dinosaur joke

What do you call a dinosaur who can control thunder?


Brachio-thor-rus


Sorry I thought of this and had to share, to find out if I had read it here or if it's the rarity of an original-ish joke

What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor

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What’s a dinosaur’s favorite porn?

Your-ass-thicc Park

What dinosaur is a writer's best friend?

Thesaurus

Since dinosaurs came earlier than humans...

They are pre-daters.

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

What do you call a female Dinosaur with herpes?

A Gina-sore.
I am drunk and watching Jurassic Park. Forgive me if this had been thought of before, I assume it had but it made us laugh a lot. Have a great night!

My battery powered dinosaur toy has stopped working.

I guess it just has a bad case of e-reptile dysfunction.

Two dinosaurs are involved in a traffic accident. The diplodocus spins off, but luckily comes to a stop on the verge without too much damage.

Unfortunately the Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call 4 dinosaurs having sex?

A roar-some (I suck at jokes)

What would you call Spiderman if he was Dinosaur man instead?

Jurassic Parker

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur that uses hemorrhoid cream ?

Mega sore arse

What's the scariest kind of dinosaur?

A terrordactyl!

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Why did dinosaurs have sex in water?

You try keeping a ten ton pussy wet.

What did the dinosaur say to his girlfriend?

You put the “ass” in Triassic

What do the moon landing, JFK, and dinosaurs have in common?

they were all shot from above

Why is it a bad idea picking a fight with a Dinosaur?

Because you will most likely end up getting jurasskicked.

Why did the dinosaur newspaper shut down?

It's ratings were killed off by social meteor!

What kind of dinosaur avoids manual labour?

Mybakisaur.

Why don't dinosaur talk?

they are already dead.

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

What do you call a dinosaur that likes to work out?

Tricepsaresore

What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in back?

A-MEGA-SORE-ASS

What did the paleontologist call his newest dinosaur discovery, after running out of new or interesting names?

The Saurus

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