How did the cavemen survive the asteroid that killed all the dinosaurs?

Social distancing, they stayed 56 million years apart.

Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?

Cause they're dead.

My 4 year old daughters joke: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

A Dinosnore.

My 7 yr old just made this one up: What do you say when a dinosaur farts?

That was a blast from the past!

What do you call a Dinosaur that wakes up early in the morning.

An AssCrackaDon.

What were dinosaur's last words?

"Ayo these don't look like shooting stars. "

I was driving my son to pre-school and he was having fun making dinosaur sounds.

"ROAR!" he yelled.

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked.

"T Rex!"

Then he said, "HONK!"

"What dinosaur is that?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Triceratops," he said.

"Why does a Triceratops honk?"

And he said, "Because it has horns!"

Three dinosaurs are running across the desert when they stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

Because chickens were not invented yet

Dinosaur Age

There is a dinosaur in the British museum that is 3 million and 24 years old.

I know this because when I visited it 24 years ago, it was 3 million years old.

Where did the dinosaur have their Bar Mitzvah?

Jewrassic Park

Why do dinosaurs like sushi?

Because they like their food ROAR!!!

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You would get jurasskicked.

What is a dinosaur's least favorite reindeer?

Comet

What do you call a dinosaur with a strap on?

Pegosaurus Rex

The new director of the Natural History museum wanted to attract more people, so they started giving dinosaur vertebrae away to newcomers.

Everyone was taken aback.

What does an aggressive computer dinosaur do?

An aggressive computer dinosaur goes **.rar** to assert its dominance

A joke from my 5 year old: "Know what really killed the dinosaurs? TNT!"

"That's why it's called Dino-mite!!"

Dinosaurs didn’t go extinct

They found Jesus and got raptored

"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much when I write?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

What do you call a dinosaur that teaches preschool?

A Montessaurus!

Dinosaurs really got wiped out by a rock

Shoulda picked paper

What did dinosaurs prefer to use to pay for their purchases?

Obviously tyrannosaurus cheques.

On Halloween don't wear a dinosaur costume in bad neighborhoods.

You'll get Jurasskicked.

What dinosaur can't you hear go to the bathroom?

All of them, they're all dead.

What dinosaur is good with synonyms and is a megalomaniac?

Thesaurus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What sound would Gordon Ramsay make if he were a dinosaur?

ITS FUCKING RAW!

What do you get when you cross a pig and a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

How do you blow up a dinosaur?

With Dinomite.

What do you call a Dinosaur that's also a witch?

A Tyranosaurus-Hex.

What's the most laidback dinosaur of all?

The Trankylosaurus.

After the dinosaurs died out, mammals became the dominant life form.

Unlike dinosaurs, which had scales and feathers, mammals are covered in fur.

I guess you could say things got a little bit hairy after the asteroud hit.

What did the weak dinosaur say to the other buff dinosaur?

I don't like a-steroids.

What was the tastiest dinosaur?

Steakasaurus.

What kind of dinosaur is best at seeing the future?

A tarot-dactyl!

What is ISIS's favorite dinosaur?

A terror-dactyl.

What do you call it when a dinosaur gets into a car crash?

A Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.

Just came home from my first paleontology party where we spent the night searching for the lower leg bone of a new dinosaur.

It was quite the shin dig.

What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?

A Do-you-think-he-saurus

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a Dinosaur's cumshot?

A blast from the past....

What kind of dinosaur is always quick to arrive?

A pronto-saurus

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s the proper term for a dinosaur boner?

A T-Rection

A guy one day goes to a museum that has a dinosaur exhibit.

He spends a few hours wandering around and admiring the skeletons of a variety of dinosaur species. At one point he stops in front of particular exhibit trying to get some sense of its actual size and age of this magnificent creature. He notices not too far from him a museum worker and says to him...

What do you call a blind dinosaur?

Doyouthinkhesaurus

(Full Disclosure: I'm showing Jurassic Park to my kids for the first time)

I asked the librarian if she knew who authored any books on dinosaurs.

She said, "Try Sarah Topps."

How did the bodybuilding dinosaur die?

Asteroid overdose!
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(a steroid overdose)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of dinosaur has a spike in his butt?

A bronto-sore-ass!

Toronto Raptors: We are the only sports team named after a dinosaur!

New Orleans Pelicans and Atlanta Hawks: Well technically -

Who is in charge of the dinosaur mafia?

The iguanodon.

What do you call a dinosaur that asks a lot of deep questions?

A philosiraptor.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What's a dinosaur which recently had anal called?

A Mega-sore-ass.

What do you call it when two dinosaurs run into each other?

A Jurassic jam.

What do you call a fast, carnivorous dinosaur with opinions on Hegel and Kant?

A philosoraptor!

Did you hear about the dinosaur that couldn't stop coughing?

It was a bronchitisaurus.

I read that the three most popular Halloween costumes this year are clown, pumpkin, and dinosaur.

I'm capitalizing on this trend by selling costumes of Trump.

Three dinosaurs stumble upon a lamp in the desert.

One of them rubs the lamp and out pops a genie. "In exchange for freeing me, I shall grant each of you one wish," said the genie.

Excited and clamoring amongst each other, the dinosaurs began to dream of meat.

The first one piped up, "I wish it would rain pepperoni and drumsticks!" The...

Why did the dinosaurs girlfriend get pregnant?

Because they did it rawr.

What was the last thing the dinosaurs said before going extinct?

Edit: Wow thanks for the support guys, this comet really blew up.

What dinosaur used boulders as toilet paper?

Megasoreass

Did the dinosaur era actually exist?

You bet Jurassic did

What did dinosaurs have that no other animal has?

Baby dinosaurs

How can you tell a dinosaur is an herbivore?

They will tell you within three minutes of meeting them and remind you every fifth sentence.

Why did the dinosaurs die out.

They got ereptile dysfunction.

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Why didn't they let Yoda name the dinosaurs?

Because the do-or-do-not-ceratops sounds fucking stupid.

A guy went to museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit.

A guy went to a museum to see a dinosaur bone exhibit. He walks around the galleries and is quite impressed by the reconstruction of these ancient animals--a T-rex, a triceratops and more. He sees a guy who works for the museum standing near one of them and says to him. "They're quite a sight. H...

The dinosaur at the museum

A guy is visiting a museum and he sees a dinosaur's skeleton.

Curious about it, he asks the guard next to it:

\- Excuse me, sir. How old is this dinosaur?

\- It is 65 million years, 4 months and 13 days old.

Amazed by his answer, he says:

\- Wow!, How can you be so...

What is secret agent's favorite dinosaur?

A pte>!REDACTED!<yl.

How does a British dinosaur like it’s steak?

RAWR

What's a dinosaur's favorite type of file?

A RAR file

My parents said I can get a dinosaur for my birthday!!

Update: They gave me a parrot..

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

Scientists say they discovered a rare breed of dinosaur known for infidelity

It was called Doyouthinkhesaurus

Why do you not fight dinosaurs?

Because you will get jur-ass-kicked! My daughter told me this one

A very excited 5 year old shared this joke with me in class today

"Wha- what do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

a dinoSNORE !!!"


it made my day <3

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked!

*Sorry if its lame but my niece just told it and i fell laughing*

hey baby, are you a dinosaur?

because jurassthicc

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why couldn't the dinosaur masturbate?

T-rex style dysfunction

What do you call a dinosaur that explodes?

Well I don’t know but the Dinomite.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Hey Gordon, how do you say “I love you” in Dinosaur?

Gordon: It’s fucking RAWR!

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to ...

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