"Do you think I reference dinosaurs too much?" I asked.

She was silent, like the p in pterodactyl, but it said everything.

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked.

What is Yodas favourite dinosaur?

A Do-ceratops...

Because there is no try.

I used to know alot of dinosaur jokes

But they're all gone now.

Three dinosaurs stumble across a magic lamp.

They rub it, and a genie appears.

"I have three wishes, so I'll give one to each of you," the genie announces.

The first dinosaur thinks hard.

"Alright," he says, "I'll have a big, juicy, piece of meat."

Instantly, the biggest, juiciest piece of meat he'd ever seen appear...

What do you call a British dinosaur?

A tea-rex!

Just kidding, calling the Queen that would be a bit disrespectful.

What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer?

Comet

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

What did the dinosaur say when the meteor hit?

Meteor-aight imma head out

What is the smartest dinosaur?

It is called the Thesaurus.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What would happen if you ate dinosaur poop?

It would make jur ass sick.

What do you a call a dinosaur that drinks tea?

A Tea-rex.

My 5 year old likes to tell me this. It makes me chuckle.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What kind of dinosaur loves to take a shit?

A Craptor.

How do you hide a dinosaur from the government?

You take jurassic measures.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur that's just been bummed?

Mega-sore-arse

What do you get if you cross a lemon with a dinosaur

Tyrannosourest Rex

Why should you never fight a dinosaur?

You'll get jurasskicked!

*Sorry if its lame but my niece just told it and i fell laughing*

My wife told me to chill with the dinosaur jokes.

I told her Jurassicing a lot of me.

Yes it is terrible, yes I am a dad and yes ill stop scrolling and go to bed now. Salam my friends.

What do you call a dinosaur that never skips chest day?

Tyranno-Sorest Pecs

...I’ll show myself out

Did you hear about the cross dressing dinosaur?

He decided to try Sarah's tops.

You think dinosaurs are scary?

Imagine dragons!

Where to dinosaurs like to shop?

At the Dino-store

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you

Wife: I'm so tired of you talking about dinosaurs all the time. If you bring them up one more time I'm going to leave you.

Husband: That's not true! Tell me one time I talked about dinosaurs

Wife: .......

Husband: (whispering) *She was silent, like the 'P' in Pterodactyls*

Courtesy of my 6yo daughter: What do you call a dinosaur that takes care of its teeth?

A Flossiraptor

What's the favorite song of all australian dinosaurs?

TNT, cuz they're dino mate

3 dinosaurs walk up to a shiny lamp

One of them rubs it, and a mystical blue genie flies out of it!

"Hello! I am genie! Since there are 3 of you, you each get 1 wish!

"I wish for a large piece of meat!" The first dinosaur said.

And so a large slab of meat materialized before his eyes and plopped down in front of h...

What do you call a dinosaur without gold?

A dinosr

What did the dinosaur ask his pet dog when he wanted afternoon tea with him?

Do you want some tea, Rex.

What do you call a dinosaur that just got done with a light workout?

A Kindasaur

Took my kids to the dinosaur museum today.

Spent the whole day looking up at the giant sculptures , I discovered a new species.

Myneckisaur.

This is my first dad joke post :)

What religion were the dinosaurs?

Non de-nom nom denominational.

Sorry folks this is an original by me and so corny.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur who masturbates too much?

VelociFAPtor

What do you call a dinosaur with a broken leg?

An owmilegisaur

A dinosaur, a spider, and a cowboy walk into a bar

All three sit at the bar and begin drinking heavily, clearly distressed. The bartender asks them what their troubles are.
The Cowboy takes a shot, then says "my horse got loose, ran into traffic, and got hit by a semi truck carrying gasoline. Cause a whole big explosion and blew my poor horse to ...

Dinosaur joke

What do you call a dinosaur who can control thunder?


Brachio-thor-rus


Sorry I thought of this and had to share, to find out if I had read it here or if it's the rarity of an original-ish joke

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones.

Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old these bones are?"

The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."

"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age ...

Three dinosaurs found a magic lamp

They rubbed it and out came a genie.



"What do you wish, my esteemed dinosaurs?"



"Meat" growled the first one. "I want meat."


"You wish is my command". There was meat.


"And what do you wish for?"


"I want MORE meat. I want it to rain...

What do you call a pig mixed with a dinosaur?

Jurassic Pork.

I’ll leave now.

Many dinosaurs were very religious

In fact, prior to the meteor strike that killed them off, the most devout dinos were taken to Heaven. It was The Velocirapture.

Upon reexamination, groundbreaking research suggests a new theory of dinosaur extinction

Traffic accidents. Amongst the thousands of dinosaurs unearthed, not one has been found wearing a seat belt.

What dinosaur is a writer's best friend?

Thesaurus

What's the most polite dinosaur?

The pleasiosaurs

What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur?

A Flossiraptor

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What’s a dinosaur’s favorite porn?

Your-ass-thicc Park

I asked the librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels.

She said "Try Sarah Topps!"

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Can a crappy dinosaur joke get a laugh?

You bet Jurassican.

What do you call a female Dinosaur with herpes?

A Gina-sore.
I am drunk and watching Jurassic Park. Forgive me if this had been thought of before, I assume it had but it made us laugh a lot. Have a great night!

President Trump has refused to release the full report proving claims that Iran is developing a fighting force of flying dinosaurs. He’s released a version of the report but

It’s been pterodacted

Two dinosaurs are involved in a traffic accident. The diplodocus spins off, but luckily comes to a stop on the verge without too much damage.

Unfortunately the Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call 4 dinosaurs having sex?

A roar-some (I suck at jokes)

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Why did dinosaurs have sex in water?

You try keeping a ten ton pussy wet.

What did the dinosaur say to his girlfriend?

You put the “ass” in Triassic

Why did the dinosaur newspaper shut down?

It's ratings were killed off by social meteor!

A Tour Guide at a dinosaur museum is guiding around a group of people. Looking at a T-Rex he says

"This fossil is 23,000,011 years old." One of the members of the group asks out of curiosity, "Wow, how'd they find out such a specific number?" the guide replied "Well, it was 23,000,000 when I started 11 years ago."

*Source: Reader's Digest*

My battery powered dinosaur toy has stopped working.

I guess it just has a bad case of e-reptile dysfunction.

Scientists recently dicovered a new dinosaur that was very intelligent

Its called Thesaurus

What kind of dinosaur avoids manual labour?

Mybakisaur.

What do the moon landing, JFK, and dinosaurs have in common?

they were all shot from above

What do you call a dinosaur that likes to work out?

Tricepsaresore

Why don't dinosaur talk?

they are already dead.

Why is it a bad idea picking a fight with a Dinosaur?

Because you will most likely end up getting jurasskicked.

What do you call a dinosaur good at healing burns?

An aloesaurus

What did the paleontologist call his newest dinosaur discovery, after running out of new or interesting names?

The Saurus

What's the scariest kind of dinosaur?

A terrordactyl!

What do you call a cross between an academic and a dinosaur?

A philosoraptor.




Or... tenured.

What do you call a dinosaur with a negative attitude?

*a minusaur*

What would you get if a dinosaur kicked you in back?

A-MEGA-SORE-ASS

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

What do you call a dinosaur that can’t reach to masturbate

Rexually frustrated

What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?

Anything you want. He can’t hear you

What do you call a female dinosaur doctor?

A Dinocologist.

Why do dinosaurs need deodorant?

Because they're ex stincked.

Courteousy my five year old nephew, be nice.

What do you call a sick dinosaur?

A Throatisorus.

Courtesy of my little daughter.. just kidding I made it up myself.

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