My friend is a zookeeper who fell ill after cleaning fences from the small marsupial exhibit.

The moral of the story is quokka caca get down with the sickness.

I've just started a Marsupial Fighting League

I've called it "Mortal Wombat"

We had a surprise costume party for my Australian co-workers promotion and we dressed him up as his nations favorite marsupial.

He was well koalafied.

A panda bear walks into a bar...

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich. The panda eats the sandwich, whips out a pistol, and shoots the waiter dead. As he is walking towards the exit, the bartender yells “HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING? YOU DIDNT PAY FOR THAT SANDWICH AND YOU JUST SHOT MY WAITER!”

The panda bear just...

What is a marsupials favourite drink ?

A Piña Koala

Did you hear about the dizzy marsupial?

It was a wobbly wallaby.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

"My wife got hurt after annoying the marsupials on our trip to a Malaysian zoo."

""Kuala Lumpar?"
"No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".

What is the only marsupial indigenous to Ireland?

the O'Possum

Where do marsupials go for vacation?

KOALA Lumpur.

A marsupial fixed me an aromatic beverage, by pouring hot water over cured leaves and it was absolutely delightful! I asked how it was possible to make something so awesome at this level and he responded...

"It’s koala tea."

As an Aussie; 10am is when I make a cuppa Twinings English Breakfast for the local marsupials

it's a really koala tea time

How much did it cost the Australian cowboy to purchase his gang of marsupials?

A buck a 'roo.

What do you call a crazy marsupial that loves fights to the death?

Mortal Wombat

Why didn’t the marsupial fall for the prank?

He knew it was a Kanga-ruse

A certain marsupial was denied entry into a local zoo...

His curriculum-leaftae was perfect, but he lacked the koalafications

Bad Dad Panda Joke

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
...

I applied for a job as a Marsupial...

Safe to say I didn't get it because I lacked the right Koalafications.

I wanted to hire a marsupial butler...

but none of the applicants were koala-fied.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A koala wakes up next to a prostitute...

Without a sound he gets up, makes his way to the door and begins to open it when the prostitute wakes up and sees him.

"Hey, where do you think youre going?" the prostitute asks? She pulls out a dictionary and shows him the definition of prostitute. It says, "a person, in particular a woman,...

What do you call tea made by a stoned marsupial?

High koala tea

Joey the marsupial applied for a job to eat eucalyptus leaves all day.

However, he was declined due to his lack of koalafications.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Prostitute Walks Into a Bar

A prostitute walks into a bar. She spots a koala bear sitting at the end of the bar. After a little small-talk and flirting, the koala bear goes home with her. They frolic all night long. The next morning, the koala gets up and wanders towards the door.

"HEY! Where are you going?" yells the ...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Two Americans, Frank and Joe, are on vacation in Australia...

It's their last day there and they have a few hours to kill between checking out of the hotel and getting to the airport for their flight. Frank says, "Listen, Joe, I heard about this great new act at a strip club that's on the way to the airport. A really hot Korean girl, Augusta Kwon, she's visiti...

A Koala walks into a bar...

A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a BLT sandwich. The Koala eats the BLT sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar. The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey, who do you think you are, you...

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

A Koala walks into a bar...

So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs

So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala go...

A panda bear walks into a bar...

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich.
The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop.

The panda bear asks, “What do you want?”
The bartender replies...

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