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Marsupial Jokes

Why did the marsupial get the job?

He was koalafied for the position.

The new Australian short-sleeved, marsupial shirts are REALLY good! In fact, you could say they have a high level of…..

Koala-t

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Life Lessons in the Outback

Bruce has been lost in the Australian Outback for three days and the combination of heat, exhaustion and thirst is close to killing him.

Unable to take another step, he collapses face first in the dirt, ready to meet his maker.

Unexpectedly he wakes to find himself staring into the fac...

Marsupials in Australia have been found drinking puddles of water with premium leaves from eucalyptus trees that have falling into them and enjoying it.

They believe it's some koala tea

How do you solve a marsupial argument?

Trial by wombat

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My buddy went to Australia and said he found a large piece of marsupial dung

What a quokka shit!

What's the difference between diarrhoea and a hopping marsupial that loves wordplay?

One's a runny poo and the other is a punny roo.


Thank you and goodnight.

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A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a plate of bamboo

When he’s finished with his meal, he hops up onto the table, pulls out two Glock 45s and unloads both magazines, blasting everything in sight.

When the guns are empty, he throws them down and starts walking towards the door. The bartender looks up from behind the bar and yells, “Hey! What th...

My friend is a zookeeper who fell ill after cleaning fences from the small marsupial exhibit.

The moral of the story is quokka caca get down with the sickness.

How much did it cost the Australian cowboy to purchase his gang of marsupials?

A buck a 'roo.

I'm thinking of starting a marsupial fighting championship

I'll call it mortal wombat

Today I learnt koala bears aren't actual bears. They're marsupials.

I guess they don’t meet the koalafications.

Have you heard about the cannabis-infused tea for marsupials?

It’s high Koala tea

What are marsupials’ favorite drinks?

Quokka-Koala

A marsupial fixed me an aromatic beverage, by pouring hot water over cured leaves and it was absolutely delightful! I asked how it was possible to make something so awesome at this level and he responded...

"It’s koala tea."

Did you hear about the dizzy marsupial?

It was a wobbly wallaby.

We had a surprise costume party for my Australian co-workers promotion and we dressed him up as his nations favorite marsupial.

He was well koalafied.

What is the only marsupial indigenous to Ireland?

the O'Possum

What is a marsupials favourite drink ?

A Piña Koala

What do you call an angry marsupial?

A crankeroo!

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"My wife got hurt after annoying the marsupials on our trip to a Malaysian zoo."

""Kuala Lumpar?"
"No, a kangaroo kicked her up the arse".

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Bad Dad Panda Joke

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
...

Where do marsupials go for vacation?

KOALA Lumpur.

A certain marsupial was denied entry into a local zoo...

His curriculum-leaftae was perfect, but he lacked the koalafications

Why didn’t the marsupial fall for the prank?

He knew it was a Kanga-ruse

I applied for a job as a Marsupial...

Safe to say I didn't get it because I lacked the right Koalafications.

I wanted to hire a marsupial butler...

but none of the applicants were koala-fied.

As an Aussie; 10am is when I make a cuppa Twinings English Breakfast for the local marsupials

it's a really koala tea time

Friend from Australia was bummed he didn't get a job working with marsupials

He didn't understand, he had all the necessary koalafications.

Joey the marsupial applied for a job to eat eucalyptus leaves all day.

However, he was declined due to his lack of koalafications.

Can someone help ? I don't see this to be funny, I m I missing something?

Banker: So, you’d like a loan, to start an all marsupial fighting championship? Me: Yes. I call it Mortal Wombat. Banker: Me: Banker: I’m in.

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A koala wakes up next to a prostitute...

Without a sound he gets up, makes his way to the door and begins to open it when the prostitute wakes up and sees him.

"Hey, where do you think youre going?" the prostitute asks? She pulls out a dictionary and shows him the definition of prostitute. It says, "a person, in particular a woman,...

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A Koala walks into a bar...

A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a BLT sandwich. The Koala eats the BLT sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar. The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey, who do you think you are, you...

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Two Americans, Frank and Joe, are on vacation in Australia...

It's their last day there and they have a few hours to kill between checking out of the hotel and getting to the airport for their flight. Frank says, "Listen, Joe, I heard about this great new act at a strip club that's on the way to the airport. A really hot Korean girl, Augusta Kwon, she's visiti...

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A Koala walks into a bar...

So he sits down and after a while of chatting with the barkeep he starts to notice a girl eyeing him from across the bar. So he goes and talks to her and after some flirting they decide to go upstairs

So they go upstairs and get into the 69 position and when its all said and done the koala go...

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A Prostitute Walks Into a Bar

A prostitute walks into a bar. She spots a koala bear sitting at the end of the bar. After a little small-talk and flirting, the koala bear goes home with her. They frolic all night long. The next morning, the koala gets up and wanders towards the door.

"HEY! Where are you going?" yells the ...

I can’t stand Honors college kids. I asked this girl “hey, why aren’t koalas considered to be bears?”

And she said, “they’re marsupials.”

Shut up, nerd. The answer to the joke is they don’t have the koalafications.

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A panda bear walks into a bar...

A panda bear walks into a bar and orders a sandwich.
The waiter brings him the sandwich. The panda bear eats it, pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter, and gets up and starts to walk out. The bartender yells for him to stop.

The panda bear asks, “What do you want?”
The bartender replies...

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