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Breaking news: Melania Trump’s naked pics are now online

Fake nudes

I put Jesus on my background pic and now my phone never dies

Yup, he’s my screen-savior

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The only dick pic I have ever sent was to my doctor to get something checked.

But then someone told me that dentists aren't doctors.

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[NSFW] A HR employee was sent an anonymous dick pic within the company network

Right away, she called the Packaging Design Manager. The man was shocked. "How did you know it was me?!"

She pointed to the caption on the picture: "Enlarged to Show Texture".

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TIFU by sending a dick pic to everyone in my address book...

Cost me a fortune in stamps.

Roses are red

Roses are red

People say I’m a prick

But I think you’ll like

My profile pic

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You know I have never sent a dick pic in my life...

I just don’t have the balls.

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How many Redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs.

17 purists who use candles and...

Tried to snap pics of a ghost with my phone but they came out dark

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak

Be careful today when searching "Giant Black Hole Pics"

All I keep getting are scientific articles.

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PS5 screenshot spoiler warning is cool

If someone sends you an unsolicited dick pic and if you have not seen that dick before, it will warn you before you open the picture.

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What do you use to pick up turtle poop in Mario?

A Koopa Troopa Poopa Scoopa

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I'm really loving my new Note 20 Ultra, now with up to 5x optical zoom!

I can finally take a dick pic

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What is it called when you email someone a dick pic?

Junk mail

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I just got an e-mail saying "On the occasion of Prophet Muhammad's (PBUH) birthday, please be advised that xxx office will be closed on Thursday,29th October 2020.."

So tempted to reply "Pics or it didn't happen".

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When you send her a dick pic

... but then she sends you one back

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I accidentally masturbated to my sisters feet pics

I got off on the wrong foot.

Hot Shower Pics

I was trying to take a picture of myself in the shower but I couldn't get a good one. The pictures kept coming out blurry.

I guess I have selfie steam issues.

Booty pics and golf are surprisingly similar, in that

A hole in one is both rare and satisfying.

Tinder Date: "Oh wow, you’re way better looking than in your profile pic."

Dorian Gray: "Yeah, I get that a lot actually."

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I met a very unnatractive girl recently and she likes to send pics

It goes without saying that I'm going to have to be the bearer of bad nudes.

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NSFW I was selling my dick pics online until people got angry.

Apparently people don't like microtransactions.

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*emailing dick pic

Computer: Insert file

Me: ok *browse the file

Computer: Try again

Me: *did it again

Computer: Try again

Me: *tries again

Computer: Harder!

Me: what?

Computer: what

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I am doing a bra giveaway.

Send me pics of your boobs and I'll see if I have something that fits you.

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An old man walks into a chemist and starts examining packs of viagra...

Nurse: Do you need any help there, sir?

Old Man: Yes, every Saturday my wife wants to have sex, but unfortunately, I can never get an erection. Which brand of viagra would you recommend?

Nurse: Well sir, everyone is different, but if you come with me to the counter, I can get you a pac...

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Got blocked by stranger because I had sent her a dick pic

Apparently she is not into smalltalk

I was once in a group project with a girl who did nothing but send feet pics

That was her sole contribution

A woman on Bumble tried to sell me pics of her toes but it didn't work out.

I guess I got off on the wrong foot.

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A guy I used to have a crush on (but got over a while ago) suddenly sent me a dick pic out of nowhere.

It was too little, too late.

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I asked my wife to send me a pic of her asshole.

She sent me a selfie of myself.

How Moral Are You?

This takes less than one minute and is incredibly accurate…well worth the little bit of effort I promise.

This test has only one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely and completely f...

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I accidently sent a dick pic to my boss once.

Imagine my embarrassment having to explain that I actually meant to send it to his wife.

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I'm doing a free Bra give away.

Send me a picture of your tits and I'll see if there's something that fits you.

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Pussy pic joke NSFW

Jon: Want to see a pussy on my phone, dude?

Eric: yeah man!

Jon: [Passes phone to Eric]

Eric: Why’s it on camera mode?

Eric: Oh

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Sending dick pics is for amateurs.

Real men get out there and disappoint women in real life

What does a dentist call his x-rays?

Tooth pics

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Some guy posted sexy pics of their girlfriend on r/memes

certified bra moment

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Why do guys ALWAYS send dick pics?

Because they think the camera adds ten pounds.

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Our smart devices are spying on us, and I have proof!

I used my smart camera to take a dick pic, and within an hour the algorithm started sending me targeted ads for army helmets and bean bag chairs.

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Me: You're firing me?

**Boss:** We have reason to believe you're using work computers to run some butt pic website. Bootypedia or something.

**Me:** First off I would never do that. Second, it's called Wikicheeks.

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An usual conversation on Tinder

M: Wow, you’re beautiful, so, can you send me a pic of your tiddies?

W: Sure, send me 20$

Sending money.

M: Oh, they’re gorgeous! Now, can you also send me a pic of your butt?

W: No problems, send another 50$

After a while.

M: Damn, awesome. You wouldn’t mi...

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Your penis is so small..

That when you put it in a girl her immune system tries to fight it.

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Accidents can happen. I once accidentally sent a dick pic to every person in my contact list.

The stamps costed me a fortune.

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Never have I ever sent a dick pic

Always get a message, error - file size too large.

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The Nigerian king

Agnes, a middle-aged New York widow is feeling very lonely one day, so she decides to bite the bullet and try internet dating. Her initial attempts don't go very well, as most of the contact she receives varies from dick pics to guys asking for nudes. She's about to give up when one day she's contac...

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Why did the Joker send Harley Quinn A Photo of Robin?

She asked him for a dick pic.

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I took my first dick pic with a polaroid camera.

I showed my GF and she said

“Wait. I think it’s underdeveloped.”

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I was at the pharmacy to get some Viagra..

The pharmacist asked me if I had it prescribed.
I answered: No, but you can see a pic of my girlfriend.

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One night, Wonder Woman sent some nude pics but one failed to impress...

...she didn't turn on the flash...

A wife cooked her husband a pasta dish and posted the pic on fb

Later at the dining table...

Husband: “Sweetheart, I think it needs a bit more salt."

Wife : “What the hell! This pasta got 453 Likes and also 138 people commented 'Yummy'. But there's no pleasing you is there?"

Mystery Ink Reddit Bull, Claims Alaska Girl

Pics are expected to prove supposed underground print version of famed forum made with "disappearing ink" a hoax.

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My girlfriend asked me to send her a dick pic.

But my panorama app kept crashing.

A delivery man gets the part time job as a magician...(OC)

He tells a random person
"Pick a card any card!"
After the person pics a card the delivery man says: "your card will be revealed in 3-6 business days"

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Boss: Know why I called you in here?

Me: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic?

Boss: (Stops pouring two glasses of wine) Accidentally?

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How does one respond to a black guy sending you a dick pic?

TL;DR

The Best Thing About Reddit is...

The fact that no one will ever notice my anime profile pic.

You know how to pick up a zoologist?

Send them dik-dik pics.

Some people don’t know why the black hole picture is such a big deal...

Honestly, they just don’t get the gravity of it.

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What's another name for dick pics?

Junk mail!

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If you take a picture of a man named Richard...

Is it a Dick pic?

Tinder dates....

If I meet you for a date and you don't look anything like your pic, you're buying drinks for me until you do

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Whats worse?

Whats worse than accidentally sending a nude pic of yourself to your girlfriend's mom?

When she sends one of herself back.

Finally figured out why i look so bad in pics .

It's my face.

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

A Lawyer, representing a wealthy art collector called him and said, "Paul, I have some good news and I have some bad news."

The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; Let's hear the good news first."

The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today and she informed me that s...

Blonde is pulled over by a blonde cop..

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she fi...

What do you get when you give a kid a guitar and a pic?

A rattle...eventually.

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Life is like a dick pic...

Sometimes you get things you don't ask for.

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How the hell did I get banned for just a picture of a banana?

...maybe I shouldn’t have included a penis for scale...

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I send *so* many dick pics

My urologist should not have given me his number.

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Superman's flying around.... (comment from r/pics)

Superman's flying around metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked right? So Superman starts t...

I matched with a deer on Tinder.

It sent me a tick pic.

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Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic.

Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan titty.

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They say to win a girl’s heart, you need to make her laugh.

That’s why my first move is always a dick pic.

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