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Pic Jokes

I matched with a tinder profile that had no pics.

We chatted a bit. Smart and funny so i asked for a date. She said yes!

I'm not expecting much, probably 400lbs. But she answered the door, this little strawberry blomde with a head full of curls and all the right curves in all the right places. We exchanged our real names and i asked what sh...

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I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book.

Not only was it embarrassing, but it also cost me a fortune in stamps.

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My girlfriend is from India. She likes to tease me by sending a pic of herself clothed, and then one of her nude.

She calls it sari, not sari.

Be careful today when searching "Giant Black Hole Pics"

All I keep getting are scientific articles.

I found an old Kurt Cobain pic the other day

Talk about a blast from the past

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I was on PornHub the other day and there was an ad that read: 'free asian asshole pics'.

When I clicked on it it was just a picture of Xi Jinping.

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Today I took a dick pic

Thought of sharing that pic on Reddit, unfortunately Reddit doesn't support small resolution images.

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Sending dick pics is for amateurs...

Real men get out there and disappoint women in real life.

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I am doing a bra giveaway.

Send me pics of your boobs and I'll see if I have something that fits you.

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Guys are now sending dirty pics against a background of the night sky with star trails.

They're calling it schlong exposure photography

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Your penis is so small..

That when you put it in a girl her immune system tries to fight it.

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What do you call an unsolicited vagina pic?

An ambush

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To get out of friend zone ,send her a dick pic

Whatever happens next ,you won't be stuck in friend zone for sure

What did the tulip farmer tell the social influencers who had trespassed to take pics?

I'm a grower not a shower.

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I never send dick pics.

I'm more of a "disappoint them in person" type of guy.

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*emailing dick pic

Computer: Insert file

Me: ok *browse the file

Computer: Try again

Me: *did it again

Computer: Try again

Me: *tries again

Computer: Harder!

Me: what?

Computer: what

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Meeting with the boss

BOSS: Know why I called you in here?

ME: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic

BOSS [stops pouring 2 glasses of wine] Accidentally?

I put Jesus on my background pic and now my phone never dies

Yup, he’s my screen-savior

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If you're about to send someone a dick pic...

you should think long and hard.

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I tried sending a dick pic but got an error.

The file was too big.

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Pussy pic joke NSFW

Jon: Want to see a pussy on my phone, dude?

Eric: yeah man!

Jon: [Passes phone to Eric]

Eric: Why’s it on camera mode?

Eric: Oh

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Never have I ever sent a dick pic

Always get a message, error - file size too large.

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Who decided to call it "Sending a dick pic"

Instead of "Junk Mail"

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My girlfriend asked me to send her a dick pic.

But my panorama app kept crashing.

So what if I sell feet pics on the side?

So shoe me

Elon Musk's DM to a hot girl: "Will send pics of my rocket. Lots of thrust. Gets up fast! Wink. Wink." Girl responds…

"Would be nice if it didn’t explode after 2 minutes."

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What is the difference between a good Dick pic and a bad one?

The exposure.

I installed a wind turbine in my yard if you want pics..

Subscribe to my onlyfans site

Hot Shower Pics

I was trying to take a picture of myself in the shower but I couldn't get a good one. The pictures kept coming out blurry.

I guess I have selfie steam issues.

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My girlfriend has a lot of dick pics on her old computer

She has a hard disk drive

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The only dick pic I have ever sent was to my doctor to get something checked.

But then someone told me that dentists aren't doctors.

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[NSFW] A HR employee was sent an anonymous dick pic within the company network

Right away, she called the Packaging Design Manager. The man was shocked. "How did you know it was me?!"

She pointed to the caption on the picture: "Enlarged to Show Texture".

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I took my first dick pic with a polaroid camera.

I showed my GF and she said

“Wait. I think it’s underdeveloped.”

Blonde is pulled over by a blonde cop..

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she fi...

Tinder Date: "Oh wow, you’re way better looking than in your profile pic."

Dorian Gray: "Yeah, I get that a lot actually."

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I asked my wife to send me a pic of her asshole.

She sent me a selfie of myself.

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Accidents can happen. I once accidentally sent a dick pic to every person in my contact list.

The stamps costed me a fortune.

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Life is like a dick pic...

Sometimes you get things you don't ask for.

The other day, I saw a highly upvoted pic of a lamp post

The next day, near the top of the SAME subreddit, I saw a highly upvoted pic of a lamp repost.

Why couldn't Anakin Skywalker upload his pics to email them to Padme?

Because attachments are forbidden.

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How many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb?

How many redittors does it take to change a lightbulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed.

14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently.

7 to caution about the dangers ...

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How does one respond to a black guy sending you a dick pic?

TL;DR

Booty pics and golf are surprisingly similar, in that

A hole in one is both rare and satisfying.

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I accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my contacts

Its ok though, nobody saw it cumming.

Woman wanted a pic of me with a banana for scale.

Too bad the store was out of plantains.

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Why do guys ALWAYS send dick pics?

Because they think the camera adds ten pounds.

A wife cooked her husband a pasta dish and posted the pic on fb

Later at the dining table...

Husband: “Sweetheart, I think it needs a bit more salt."

Wife : “What the hell! This pasta got 453 Likes and also 138 people commented 'Yummy'. But there's no pleasing you is there?"

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My relationships are like a reddit safe pic.

Starts off with great anticipations. No responses for a while. Then ends in empty promises and disappointment.

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One night, Wonder Woman sent some nude pics but one failed to impress...

...she didn't turn on the flash...

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What's another name for dick pics?

Junk mail!

I was once in a group project with a girl who did nothing but send feet pics

That was her sole contribution

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Religion is like a nude pic

If it ends up on the internet you're entering a world of criticism

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I met a very unnatractive girl recently and she likes to send pics

It goes without saying that I'm going to have to be the bearer of bad nudes.

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In honor of the current trend in r/pics: My wife refuses to send me nudes. She says she doesn't trust me with them.

Which is a shame because I know some guys who would pay serious $$$ for them.

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A girl asked me for a dick pic.

I told her sorry, my phone doesn't take panoramic pics.

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NSFW I was selling my dick pics online until people got angry.

Apparently people don't like microtransactions.

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A guy I used to have a crush on (but got over a while ago) suddenly sent me a dick pic out of nowhere.

It was too little, too late.

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Superman's flying around.... (comment from r/pics)

Superman's flying around metropolis and he's horny as hell. He's checking out the rooftops and all of a sudden he sees Wonder Woman sunning herself on the roof of the Justice League. I mean she is lying there buck naked and spread eagle. Looks like she wants to get fucked right? So Superman starts t...

What do you get when you give a kid a guitar and a pic?

A rattle...eventually.

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Some guy posted sexy pics of their girlfriend on r/memes

certified bra moment

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When I was young my mom grounded me for having a file on pc with the name "boobies pics"

I never understood why bird watching was wrong

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What does a dentist send when sexting?

A tooth pic

Tried to snap pics of a ghost with my phone but they came out dark

The spirit was willing but the flash was weak

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I send *so* many dick pics

My urologist should not have given me his number.

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An usual conversation on Tinder.

M: Wow, you’re beautiful, so, can you send me a pic of your titties?


W: Sure, send me 20$


Sending money.


M: Oh, they’re gorgeous! Now, can you also send me a pic of your butt?


W: No problems, send another 50$


After a while.

<...

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Former figure skater Michelle Kwan was caught by paparazzi, who took an unfortunate down-blouse pic.

Nevertheless, it's a perfect example of both quality and Kwan titty.

A woman on Bumble tried to sell me pics of her toes but it didn't work out.

I guess I got off on the wrong foot.

Finally figured out why i look so bad in pics .

It's my face.

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Richard Attenborough showed me a selection of photos of small African antelope penises.

It was Dick's dik-dik dick pic picks.

Girls hate it when I suddenly send them photographs of parasites

Turns out, no one wants unsolicited tick pics

Roses are red

Roses are red

People say I’m a prick

But I think you’ll like

My profile pic

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Uranus - These a re all true BTW

Uranus is full of gas.
Uranus smells like farts.
Uranus craps diamonds.
Uranus is a cold, cold place.
NASA flew by Uranus and snapped lots of pics.
Uranus is huge.
We can see Uranus with the naked eye.
Uranus is bleeding is an actual astrological (not astronomical...

I showed a girl my third leg. She blocked me.

I have a bad back so sometimes I use a cane.

So anyway, I found a girl I didn’t know personally and messaged her “Do you want to see my third leg? It’s hard, black, and a lot longer than you’re expecting. I guarantee it.” So she said “Hell yeah! Send it!” So I sent a picture of my cane.
...

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How the hell did I get banned for just a picture of a banana?

...maybe I shouldn’t have included a penis for scale...

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I'm really loving my new Note 20 Ultra, now with up to 5x optical zoom!

I can finally take a dick pic

I named my hammer Thor

Because after swinging it all day my arm is thor.


I tried to post a pic of it as part of this, but there was no option for that.

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Every selfie that my mate Richard posts online...

...is a dick pic.

Some people don’t know why the black hole picture is such a big deal...

Honestly, they just don’t get the gravity of it.

What do dentists call x-rays?

Tooth Pics!

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