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3d Jokes

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"Dad, look! I'm a 3D printer!"

"Chris, close the god damn door if you're taking a shit"

3D printers are now printing guns...

That’s nothing though. I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
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My friend asked me if the new Star Wars was in 3D...

... and I said, yes, but they R2D2.
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My friend was bragging his new 3D printer can print a gun.

I wasn’t impressed, I’ve had a Canon printer for years!
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What's the difference between a stepping stool and a miniature 3D printer?

The former is a little ladder and the latter is a little former.
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3d-printers are now making guns.

Pffft, that's nothing!

I've had a Canon printer for years.
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3D printing is a lot like having sex.

First you have to clean your nozzle. Then you have to warm things up. And finally you have to keep just the right heat and speed. And if you mess up all you get is a disappointing mess.

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Which was the first 3d printer in the world?

A Vagina

I made a 3D game about a depressed self-harming goth

It's mostly unskippable cutscenes.
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How do you bake a 3D cake if you are out of flour?

You use foreshortening.
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Dad look! I'm a 3D printer!

Removed cause Reddit doesn't care about their users. (API Changes)
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3 Shapes walk into a bar..

A 2D Square, a 3D Sphere, and a 4D Hypercube walk into a bar. The 2D Square insists, "From my view, everything is flat, so the Earth must be flat too!" The 3D Sphere rolls its eyes and says, "That's just your perspective. In 3D, it's clear the Earth is round." The 4D Hypercube adds, "In 4D, I see al...
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3d Jigsaw on the cheap..

..bag of frozen fries, re-assemble the potatoes.
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Girl, are you a 3D movie?

Because you're too expensive and giving me a headache.
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I 3D printed a tree branch today

It's PLA stick
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How do you go from 3D to 4D?

Just give it time.
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I accidentally sent my essay to a 3D printer

It came out as a pile of shit.

2d or 3d women?

Personally, I prefer 34D.
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How can you work to improve your 3D drawings into 4D drawings?

It just takes time
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I hate being the only 3D modelling guy at my workplace

Every day my coworkers will ask if I can do them a solid
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What's a 3d shape's favourite country?

Cuba
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even though im a hardcore weeb, i still like 3d girls.

especially annie may.
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The new 3D tv I bought is super realistic!

I dozed off while watching a documentary on the Catholic Church and when I woke up the house smelled of incense and my 7 year-old son was missing.
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What was the first 3D printer?

Your butthole!

*** This joke is awesome because it was created by a third grader where I teach.

Why couldn't the man 3D printing his face control his excitement?

He was getting a head of himself
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I've got a 3D printer

But it only prints pieces of paper.
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I bought a life size 3d model of plankton from spongebob.

4days later I got an empty box full of bubble wrap. I still don't know where plankton is.
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When I told my therapist about being unhappy, he said, "When it comes to happiness, a good analogy is a 3D-printer."

"Oh," I said, "You mean that I should make my own happiness?"

"No," he said. "I meant, most people don't have it, and many don't even know what it is."

What did the 3D Vector say after making a bad joke?

i j k
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My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..

..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake
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Why won't a black man go see a 3d movie?

He'd rather spend his money on a forty

This week President Obama became the first president to get a life-size 3D-printed portrait done.

It looked so real that Joe Biden argued with it for 20 minutes that Peeta is better than Gale.

Biden then realized his mistake, . . . and admitted Gale is the clear choice.
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3-D printers

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "I'm pretty excited," the guy tells the bartender. "I just got one of those 3D printers. They say I can even make a gun on it." "Ha, I'm not impressed," the bartender scoffs. "I've had a canon printer for years."
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Have you heard about the new bush-o-matic 3000?

It's the latest piece of kit where you can upload an image into the on-board computer, crop out the back ground, set the machine on the floor and point it towards the hedge of your choice.

You press "GO" and the machine flies up into the air and starts cutting out a 3D sculpture of the image...
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Where does the 3D shape go when it murders someone?

Prism
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I went to buy a new TV and told the sales guy "I don't care what type it is as long as it's not 3D"

He drew me a picture of one.
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Chuck Norris

Recently, a theater in Texas held a 3D showing of Walker: Texas Ranger.

There were no survivors
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I showed my 12 year old son an old floppy disk..

He said "Wow.. Cool! You 3D printed the save icon!"
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A Kotaku throwback

Best Buy Customer Rep: "Good afternoon, welcome to Best Buy. What brings you in to see us today?"

Customer: "I'm pretty interested in one of those new 3D tv's but I thought I'd check it out before I buy. I'm a little concerned over the image quality."

Rep: "I understand your concern si...

I have at last fulfilled my dream of becoming arms dealer...

... by selling 3D printed prosthetic limbs for the needy.
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My 9 year old....

...is yelling at me, "Hey dad, look at me! Im a 3D printer!"
I respond "Close the bathroom door, son!"
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What costs the most money to keep running?

5th : a family car

4th : a boat

3d : a tank

2nd : a warship

1st : a girlfriend
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Up in the air

A Boeing 777 wide-body jetliner was lumbering along at 800km/hour at 33000 feet when a cocky F-16 fighter jet flashed by at Mach 2.

The F-16 pilot decided to show off.

On his state of the art radio that is part of his state of the art 3D and million dollar headset, the F-16 youngster...

What movie did you go see?

My parents had great fun teasing each other and yanking each other's chains.

They were visiting me (38m at the time) and my wife+kids, and my Dad & I went out to see a movie. We found Jurassic Park I (in 3D), and went to see that. It was an enjoyable experience.

When we were on o...
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Does the circle of life...

become a sphere in 3D?
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A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer...

Came up with this a while back, and found it today. I cleaned it up a bit:

A biologist, a physicist, a mathematician, and an engineer can't take it anymore and decide to commit suicide.

The biologist reviews some data and determines the impact velocity required to kill a human. He the...

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You have two cows..

USA: You have two cows. You outsource a farm to milk them and sell the milk to those who can afford it. You then use the profit to buy someone else's cow for your butcher to make steak with.

Russia: You have two cows. When you get sober you remember that the mafia took them away from you, so ...

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