UPJOKE
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Works as a pick up line

"Hey baby, what does your butthole and a 9 volt battery have in common?"

"I know I shouldn't stick my tongue on it, but I still kinda want to."

The practical pick up line

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He notices a lovely woman sitting alone a few bar stools down, and as the evening goes on, he catches her eye and smiles at her a few times. Amazingly, she gets up, moves down the bar and joins him. "Every time you smile at me, it makes me want to invite you...

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Best pick up line for 2020

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
The FBI wants to steal my penis,
Can I hide it inside you?

What's your favorite pick up line?

Mine is the Ford F Series.

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Best pick up line to impress the ladies

“Damn, are you a car alarm? Because you’re really fucking loud and annoying”

What’s a developmental psychologists favorite pick up line?

What’s up, baby?

What is the best pick up line?

One which has a magnet at the end.

What's your best pick up line?

Cocaine

Best pick up lines- I’ll start

If I tell you how much I like your body, will you hold it against me?

Pick up line: Girl, do you run a Gorilla exhibit at the zoo?

Because I want to drop a baby in you.

A pick up line for atheists

Did you fall from heaven?

Because your unbelievable.

Pick up line: Girl are you an oreo?

Cos I wanna open you up and lick all the good stuff inside

Failed serial killer pick up line:

Hey baby, that dress looks good on you.

You know what else would look good on you?

Three feet of dirt.

Pick up line for astronomers

Baby, the universe starts with "U" "N" "I"

Pick up line.

Hey girl, are you an Aztec?
Cos you just stole my heart.

My favorite pick up line

With you I feel like a stud, I was just an STD before

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Here's a pick up line for girls to use

Walk up to a guy, grab his dick and say "Sir, I'm gonna have to check your ED."

Bad pick up line

Me: spell me

Her: M-E

Me: you forgot the D

Her: there is no D in me

Me: not yet

Best pick up line.

Hey is your name Sandy Hook?

Cuz I wanna shoot a bunch of kids inside you.

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Bill Cosby's pick up line...

"are we fucking or am I fucking?"

I have loads of pick up lines about unemployed people...

Unfortunately, none of them work

I used to have the best pick up line. I'd get an escort right to their bedroom most of the time. And after spending a few hours in their bedroom with them, they would even pay me for doing such an amazing job.

I miss telling people "I can fix your computer."

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Calculus pick up line

F'- Can I be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves?
F''- Can I be your second derivative so I can test out your concavities?
F'''- Can I be your third derivative so I can jerk to you?
F''''- Can I be your fourth derivative so I can snap your neck?

Pick up line for a one-armed gym rat.

I go two tickets to the gun show, you want the extra?

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A good pick up line

Are you sitting on the F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing

NSA's pick up lines:

"Did you fall from heaven? Because there's no tracking data on how you arrived at this location" "I'd tap that" "I know exactly where you have been all my life"

What is a Vietnamese sandwich maker’s favorite pick up line?

Banh mi.

(Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs !

Because you know how to make a wiener stand!

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What's a Jewish pedophiles favorite pick up line?

Hey kid, ya wanna buy some candy?

My favourite pick up lines

Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m loving it!


Can I follow you? Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams

I should call you Google, because you have everything I’m looking for.

Pick up lines change as you get older.

In your 20's - I have an original 1965 Ford Mustang.

In your 40's - I have an original Picasso.

In your 60's - I have my original hips

The women I meet in bars always have the worst pick up lines...

They’re like, “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

Pick up lines: Girl are you a microwave

Because mmmmmmmmmmm

Pick up lines are useless

These new vibrating things lets us know when they are ready

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Some funny pick up lines

Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes.

If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS?

My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in.

If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?

Ni...

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Racist/Nationally prejudiced pick up lines.

I'm not black, but I'll steal your heart.

Hey girl, I'm not Asian, but I'll eat that pussy.

I'm not from Russia, but you make me blush-a.

If you were a Jihadist, would you blow me first?

Did you just have curry? Because that ass is getting blasted tonight.

Pick up lines for cross-eyed people

When you’re in the room both my eyes are on you

Pick up lines

Are you sushi? Because I like it raw

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