Best pick up lines- I’ll start

If I tell you how much I like your body, will you hold it against me?

NSA's pick up lines:

"Did you fall from heaven? Because there's no tracking data on how you arrived at this location" "I'd tap that" "I know exactly where you have been all my life"

What’s a developmental psychologists favorite pick up line?

What’s up, baby?

I have loads of pick up lines about unemployed people...

Unfortunately, none of them work

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Best/worst pick up line

You know there are 8 planets in the solar system but soon there’ll be only 7 after I destroy Uranus

What is the best pick up line?

One which has a magnet at the end.

Pick up lines change as you get older.

In your 20's - I have an original 1965 Ford Mustang.

In your 40's - I have an original Picasso.

In your 60's - I have my original hips

Pick up lines are useless

These new vibrating things lets us know when they are ready

Pick up line.

Hey girl, are you an Aztec?
Cos you just stole my heart.

Pick up lines: Girl are you a microwave

Because mmmmmmmmmmm

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Best pick up line for 2020

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
The FBI wants to steal my penis,
Can I hide it inside you?

What's your favorite pick up line?

Mine is the Ford F Series.

A pick up line for atheists

Did you fall from heaven?

Because your unbelievable.

The women I meet in bars always have the worst pick up lines...

They’re like, “Hey, what’s your friend’s name?”

Pick up lines for cross-eyed people

When you’re in the room both my eyes are on you

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Here's a pick up line for girls to use

Walk up to a guy, grab his dick and say "Sir, I'm gonna have to check your ED."

What's your best pick up line?


Pick up line: Girl are you an oreo?

Cos I wanna open you up and lick all the good stuff inside

Pick up line for astronomers

Baby, the universe starts with "U" "N" "I"

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Some funny pick up lines

Do you have a map? Cause I just got lost in your eyes.

If your left leg is Halloween, and your right leg is Christmas, CAN I COME IN BETWEEN HOLIDAYS?

My love for you is like diarrhea, i just can't hold it in.

If i said you had a hot body, would you hold it against me?


My favorite pick up line

With you I feel like a stud, I was just an STD before

What is a Vietnamese sandwich maker’s favorite pick up line?

Banh mi.

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Bill Cosby's pick up line...

"are we fucking or am I fucking?"

Pick up line: Girl, do you run a Gorilla exhibit at the zoo?

Because I want to drop a baby in you.

I used to have the best pick up line. I'd get an escort right to their bedroom most of the time. And after spending a few hours in their bedroom with them, they would even pay me for doing such an amazing job.

I miss telling people "I can fix your computer."

Best pick up line.

Hey is your name Sandy Hook?

Cuz I wanna shoot a bunch of kids inside you.

Bad pick up line

Me: spell me

Her: M-E

Me: you forgot the D

Her: there is no D in me

Me: not yet

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Calculus pick up line

F'- Can I be your derivative so I can lie tangent to your curves?
F''- Can I be your second derivative so I can test out your concavities?
F'''- Can I be your third derivative so I can jerk to you?
F''''- Can I be your fourth derivative so I can snap your neck?

Pick up line for a one-armed gym rat.

I go two tickets to the gun show, you want the extra?

My favourite pick up lines

Is your body from McDonald’s? Cause I’m loving it!

Can I follow you? Cause my mom told me to follow my dreams

I should call you Google, because you have everything I’m looking for.

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A good pick up line

Are you sitting on the F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing

Nerdy cell pickup lines

- These were some of my biology notes from freshman year. I actually remembered the functions from these jokes

Are u a golgi apparatus? Cause I need help processing my feelings for u

Are we proteins in a golgi apparatus? Cause we’re being shipped

I hope you aren’t a controsome c...

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Racist/Nationally prejudiced pick up lines.

I'm not black, but I'll steal your heart.

Hey girl, I'm not Asian, but I'll eat that pussy.

I'm not from Russia, but you make me blush-a.

If you were a Jihadist, would you blow me first?

Did you just have curry? Because that ass is getting blasted tonight.

(Here's a Pick up line) ... You should sell hot dogs !

Because you know how to make a wiener stand!

Secondary School Pick up Lines

Are you the Detention room because i'm going to spend the next two and a half hours inside you

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What's a Jewish pedophiles favorite pick up line?

Hey kid, ya wanna buy some candy?

I tried to get into online dating, but then I fractured my wrist...

I couldn't pick up lines

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A man runs into a store.

He approaches the shopkeeper and exclaims, “Help! help! I’ve met a beautiful girl, but she’s trapped at the bottom of a well.”

The shopkeeper reaches behind the counter and pulls out a long cord. “Here throw this down the well and use it to pull her up” he says.

The man thanks him and...

If you're having trouble starting conversations with girls on dating apps,

Try cocaine, it's usually a pretty reliable pick up line.

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A guy gets on a bus and sees a really hot nun.

A guy gets on a bus and sees a really hot nun. He approaches her and dishes out a few pick up lines trying to score with her. The nun is shocked and appalled and gets off the bus immediatly.

The bus driver saw the whole spectacle and calls the guy over to him. He says "I know that nun. I see...

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Going to the bar for the first time

So I went into the bar and was very nervous, I'm young and never experienced this atmosphere before. I'm trying to talk to all these ladies but none of my pick up lines are working, all my buddies have their girls they picked up and they're all dancing. I'm in the bar all alone and this beautiful bl...

What do you call a row of people lifting mozzarella?


A cheesy pick up line.

Why do crane operators seem to always get dates?

They have the strongest pick up lines.

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Are you Russian?

Cause I'll be Putin my dick in your mouth tonight.

(Don't use as a pick up line doesn't work)

At willcall for a concert, I start a conversation with the lady in front of me.

It was the first time I had used a pick up line to talk to a woman.

Whenever I'm out in public flashing my money, women approach me all the time!

I'd wish they would work on their pick up lines though, 90% of women start off by saying "Spare some change?"

I worked on a farm for 5 years so I used

You didn't even need a pick up line, just a pick up truck

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