Wives want to videotape the birth of their child...
...while husbands want to videotape the conception.
LPT: When weightlifting, always have a friend videotape it.
Because the camera always adds 10 pounds.
The CEO of a hardware company calls in his top ad man and tells him, "We need a new TV spot for our B&Q Nails line."
A week later, the ad man comes back with a videotape and pops it into the VCR in the CEO's office. The commercial starts and the CEO sees Jesus being nailed to the cross while a voice over says, "B&Q nails: they get the job done." The CEO is irritated and says, "That is completely unacceptable! ...
How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to actually change the bulb, and the other to videotape the job so fundamentalists won’t claim that god it.