A woman is amazed by pastor who lives next door and how quickly he changes his personality.

Around the neighborhood, he is incredibly shy, quiet, and timid. As soon as he begins to preach, he becomes loud, boisterous, and is able to entertain the congregation with his sermons.

​

“I’m not sure how you go from one personality to the next,” the woman tells the pastor ...

If you are looking for a friend with personality message me

I have many.

I have been diagnosed with DID or Multiple Personality Disorder.

Apparently there are multiple personalities inside of me fighting their way out.

I would take them all over my ex-wife's one!

Edit: Don't believe this guy! He sucks at telling jokes.

Edit: Shut up Jeff!

Edit: No, you shut up Karen!

Edit: you guys are impossible to ...

Coping with multiple personality disorder is easy.

But, I've always been more of a people person.

TIL That procrastination stems from 2 basic personality traits

I'll post the link in a minute.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Zodiac signs can tell a lot about your personality.

For instance, if you believe in them, you're an utter cunt.

My therapist told me I have an addictive personality

I said, “Tell me more”

My face is a 2 and my personality is a 8

so basically i’m a 10

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl told me that my big personality is all that matters to her.

So I named it Penis.

My roommate is spreading rumours that I have multiple personality disorder.

Well, three can play that game!

I always knew that some knights had names that described their personality (like Lancelot the Brave), but I didn't realise nuns did that too until I became one...

I was Nun the Wiser.

If a girl has red hair, it makes up for other personality flaws

I call it the “Red Head Redemption”

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I've got multiple personality disorder...

And we do too.

I was recently diagnosed with multiple personality disorder

At least that's what my better half says

Always love a women for her personality

They have like 10, so you can choose.

My friends say that my personality is layered, like an Onion...

As you pull the layers back, you continue to find the same thing and start crying.

What did the online personality say to the doctor after running some tests?

Is this going to be viral?

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

You know how dogs take on the personality of their owners?

Your dog is a dick.

I was diagnosed with Narcissictic Personality Disorder...

....or as I call it, Handsome Disease.

Officer: I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck

Man: Yeah, but she's got a great personality

Who is the most controversial tv personality of all time?

Not sure, but I wouldn't sleep on Bill Cosby.

"I have a split personality."

...said Tom, being frank.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

A girl I dated from my local opticians text me saying I've got a split personality.

Wait, no. It says "shit".

My analyst told me that I've got multiple personality disorder.

I replied "Don't be ridiculous. I haven't got multiple personality disorder - and neither have I."

I have a split personality...

Person: I have a split personality...
Listener: And?
Person: Why are you staring at me like this?

I'd make a great on-air personality

If I could channel myself.

Hey girl, are you looking for someone with a nice personality?

You are in luck! I’ve got multiple.

My psychiatrist diagnosed me with multiple personality disorder...

And now she's on the news, apparently she was murdered by one of her patients, wonder if I ever saw him

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

If a cable news pundit, a reality TV personality, a political spin doctor, and a serial entrepreneur are all locked in a room together, who would be the first to realize they're of shit?

The room.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

What I find most sexy in a girl is her personality

Girl: Oh good, cus I have several of those!

Guy: Uh... what?

Girl: _Shh!_ don't _listen_ to _her!_

After many years as an accountant, I was asked to take a personality test.

The results came back negative.

Why is there no clear distinction concerning the morality of altering one's personality through brain surgery?

Because, it's a bit of a grey matter!

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

My daughter has a split personality.

She's a "sweetheart" to my wife but a little shit to me.

For a second I thought I had a split personality...

But then I was able to convince him he didn't.

I don't suffer from split-personality...

...and neither do I

My psychiatrist said I have a narcissistic personality

I don't know what that means, but must be pretty good if I've got it.

What your glass says about your personality

Optimism- The glass is half full
Pessimist- The glass is half empty
Feminist- The glass is raping me

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

After being diagnosed with a multiple personality disorder, I phoned my boss to tell him I'd need time off.

"You're self-employed you stupid bastard," I said.

A man with multiple-personality disorder walked into a bar.

No he didn't.

A doctor told Donald Trump he has Acute Narcissistic Personality Disorder...

Trump said "It's not just cute, it's **the cutest** narcissistic personality disorder in the world. Believe me."

My mum said I have a "masochistic personality". That hurt me a lot.

And I liked it.

What's SpongeBob's worst personality trait?

He's way too self-absorbent

The roulette dealer had a unique personality.

He had a different spin on everything.

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Multiple Personality Disorder

A girl I met claimed to have multiple personalities. “Is that OK with you?” she asked.

“Quack quack quack!” I responded, then added “Apologies, my other personality is a duck. He doesn’t talk much, good listener though.”

“That’s so interesting!” she replied. “So how do you understand e...

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Someone once told me my best features were my smile and personality

If I don't have a mouth I'm fucked

The husband had a really bad condition of multiple personality disorder...

"Doctor, for the last eight months, my husband has thought that he's a lawnmower."

"That's terrible. Why didn't you bring him in sooner?"

"Because the neighbor just returned him this morning."

People ask me "Why are you single? You're attractive, intelligent, and have an amazing personality".

My response: "I'm overqualified".

What do you call a bird who wants to have a different personality?

An alter eagle!

What do you call a homeless horse with a Borderline Personality Disorder ?

Unstable.

You can tell a lot about a person's personality by the type of car they drive.

I haven't got one.

What does a suicidal multiple personality say every morning?

If I don't kill myself soon, I will!

Why did the lady with multiple personality disorder share her food with a friend?

Because Sharon is Karen.

A man is sitting at home when a police officer knocks on his door.

The officer asks him if he is married and the man replies, “Yes, I am.”

The officer then asks him if he has a recent picture of his wife.

The man answers, “Sure, hold on a second.”

The officer looks at the picture, and in a sad voice says, “I’m sorry, but it looks like your w...

I have a Taiwanese friend who is is incredibly rude and bossy

He has a strong Taipei personality

This joke may contain offensive words. 🤔

Multiple personality disorder has made my sex life hard...

I want to masturbate , but I'm not into orgies.

They say the music you listen too is tied to your personality;I listen to Chris Brown.

Two counts of assault and one hit and run.

Why does Thanos love Snapchat?

It fits his personality like a glove.

How do you determine the personality of a hot dog?

Give it an Oscar-Myers-Briggs test

A policeman knocks at the door

A man opens it, and the policeman tells him with a serious expression:.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you this sir, but it looks like your wife was ran over by a truck.".

"Yes I know, but she has an excellent personality!"

Just got back from my psychiatrist appointment this morning.

After 10 minutes of chatting She told me I had a split personality and charged me $360.... I gave her $180 and told her to get the rest from the other idiot.

What does an Accountant use for birth control?

His Personality!