UPJOKE
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The world banned Russian gas

but Russians say with all the fibre in their beings they can’t stop pootin.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

If you don't get enough fibre in your diet

... tough shit

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I once saw this guy walking down the road with a 15ft piece of fibre glass. I asked him "Are you a Pole Vaulter?"

He answered "Nein, I'm a German, but how did you know my name was Walther?"

Why are synthetic fibres like the police?

They don't let you breathe.

This joke may contain profanity. 🤔

Statistics show that 73% of people don't have enough fibre in their diets.

Ah well, tough shit

I just made a bran cereal with edibles in it

High 'n Fibre

Scientists say they may be able to synthesize a completely clean biofuel using the enzymes in finely shredded fungi, such as mushrooms...

Some critics have questioned the ethics of the process, but admit they are comforted by the researchers’ strong Morel fibre.

This huge guy broke into my house last night.

I confronted him but he punched me in the stomach then smacked me across the face. While I lay on the ground he stole my wallet, my phone, and then walked out with my TV.

I didn't manage to scratch him or take a photo but rang the police anyway in the hope they'd at least be able to find a...

The Rope-a-dope.

Two pieces of string walk into a bar.

The bartender looks them up and down, and asks: "You two aren't pieces of string, are ya?"

To which they both reply: "Why, yes, we are!"

And the bartender turns a bright shade of red and yells: "WE DON'T SERVE YOUR FILTHY KIND HERE!"

...

After having dug to a depth of 100 meters in a mine, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years...

After having dug to a depth of 100 meters in a mine, Scottish scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 1000 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English sc...

The Royal Mail

I went for a job at the Royal Mail sorting office yesterday. After the interview I was given a tour of the depot.
I asked the guy taking the tour "What's that machine?"
"That's the Acme 3000 Auto Sorter System. It can sort 150,000 letters an hour and it's 99.5% accurate. It's controlled by 12 ...

In the past

Russian scientists dug 1000 mtr deep and found a copper wire.
They concluded:
“1000 yrs back our ancestors were using copper cable technology”..

American scientists dug 2000 mtr deep and found optic fibre.
They concluded:
“2000 yrs back our ancestors were using optic fibre technol...

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